I feel like my relationship might end due to our different views on Covid: Advice?

This may be a bit of a controversial question, and I’m not posting this to discuss the issue but rather to discuss how this is impacting my relationship. My fiancé and I have completely different opinions when it comes to COVID-19 and the vaccines, and I think it is going to destroy our relationship. We have been together 2 1/2 years, and we got along great until covid. This isn’t the forum to discuss this controversial political issue, and that’s not what I want to do. I just feel like our differing viewpoints are destroying our world and, in particular, my relationship. A little about me… I have two teenagers from a previous marriage, and one of them has a cognitive disability and some health issues. I’m just wondering if this has happened to anyone else? I feel alone in this…

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My parents who have been married for decades have completely different views on Covid and the vaccine. My mom believes the vaccine is safe and was one of the first groups to get it. My dad believes it’s even more dangerous than Covid itself with all the “possible side effects”. My mom didn’t even tell my dad she was getting the vaccine to avoid an argument of being called dumb and a “sheep”.
Point is, do what is best for you and your children. If your boyfriend is opposed to that maybe he isn’t the one you should be planning a life with. I know that sounds extreme but take it from me who has grown up with two people that have extremely opposite views on MOST issues. It wasn’t a healthy environment for them or my siblings and me. If it’s just this one issue that you two don’t agree on, come up with “do what’s best for you and I’ll do the same” agreement and leave it at that. Keep the relationship centered around the things you have in common and both value. If this is just one of the many things you disagree about, it’s going to make for a hard future together. Good luck!

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel like my relationship might end due to our different views on Covid: Advice?

Try not to let it , let one have thear opinions and the other have thears

I guess it would depend on what specifically is going on. Like say you don’t want him around your family if he isn’t vaccinated because you worry about your kids. That’s a big issue if say you don’t feel comfortable around him. Just giving an example here. So I guess you have to decide if that is more important than your relationship. And same with him if he feels what he thinks is more important than your relationship. Can you put your differences aside or is it something you aren’t willing to compromise on?

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel like my relationship might end due to our different views on Covid: Advice?

You just have to agree to dis agree and Don’t talk about it. If one wants vaccinated and one doesn’t so be it take care of yourself let him be him.

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Agree to disagree unless it involves the health and safety of your children. I have a child who cannot yet be vaccinated due to his age and the restrictions that we’ve put in place to keep him safe have ruffled some feathers but :woman_shrugging:t5:. Not a single **** given.

Keep the line of communication and your mind(s) open because new information is being presented about COVID pretty regularly. Remember that it’s okay to change your mind (s) when new information is presented. Good luck!

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I’d say it probably depends how bad of a gap it is. If it’s a “this is stupid and I don’t want the vaccine” vs “I’m getting the vaccine because it’s what I feel is best” than just avoid the topic and if it comes up, agree to disagree and move on.
If it’s some crazy conspiracy thing vs actual logic, then maybe it’s time to move on?

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel like my relationship might end due to our different views on Covid: Advice?

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel like my relationship might end due to our different views on Covid: Advice?

Prayers for your house hold

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My husband and I have different view s too…but to each our own…he thinks he should have the shot so he does…i feel I don’t need the shot so I didn’t get it. But we decided not to let our opinions take from our love. I hope you can too.

You need to both try to understand where the other is coming from.
You need to both understand that you’re ADULTS.
You’re not his mom and he’s not your dad.
Neither of you get to dictate the others actions and it is completely toxic to try to control the others opinion.

Honestly? I think the entire thing is entirely blown out of proportion and I don’t trust the vaccines.
I’ve done research. Read personal accounts. Spoken to doctors and that is the conclusions I came to. That’s my opinion. And I will say it also has a lot to do with my area specifically we’ve had high case numbers but low death rates…our docs have been prescribing supportive treatments all along…like Prednisone or Albuterol. 90% of our population is “essential” and of those most cannot work from home either.

But. But. But.

I’m not going to tell someone else off for having an opinion different than mine. I’m not going to try to force my opinion and conclusions on them.
They wanna social distance? Wear a mask? Get vaccinated? They’re more than welcome to it. I won’t condemn them for it.
I took my grandma to get her first shot :person_shrugging: she’s an adult. She wanted it and it made her feel better about the whole situation…so alrighty then.
It didn’t hurt me any.

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My husband got the vaccine, I didn’t. I accept his views and choice, and he accepts mine. That is what marriage is about.

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If something like this could destroy your relationship then y’all should walk now because when something else comes up neither obviously knows how to respect and tolerate opinions and boundaries. Its my way or the highway apparently. Never will be a healthy relationship.

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If you all are vaccinated and he’s not and he gets covid and gets really sick that’s on him, not you.

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Me and my spouse live by the rule that’s okay to agree to disagree. We have a medically fragile child who gets hospitalized for things like the flu,croup and pneumonia every year. Seeing your child struggling to breathe is horrifying, talking about options when their oxygen dips too low is unexplainably heart breaking especially when your child doesn’t have those cognitive abilities to understand that we want to help. That being said I am all for the vaccine, as soon as I give birth I will absolutely be in line. My spouse however while he takes COVID seriously like me doesn’t want the vaccine nor does he want our kids or myself to get it until further studies have come out on it. It’s okay to disagree, it’s all on how you handle it.

Don’t let something like that break you guys up

Due to one of your children having health issues, I’m assuming the issue is whether everyone should get vaccinated as a safety precaution.
My husband didn’t want to get the vaccine. I did because I am a Healthcare worker and pregnant. I have a higher chance of coming into contact with the virus so for my safety I got vaccinated and because my daughter from a previous relationship also has respiratory issues.
He didn’t want to get vaccinated and that’s his choice. I let him be, I never pushed the issue. But I did push for him to be precautious. Wearing his mask, social distancing, washing hands, disinfecting wipes to clean off commonly touched surfaces. Which he didn’t mind complying with.
Now that I’m getting closer to my due date and it sinks in more that we’re having a newborn, he finally made the decision to get vaccinated. On his own will.
I never pushed the issue. It was what HE decided.
You have to let him be autonomous about his decision on whether or not to be vaccinated. If he chooses not to then just take those extra precautions that I listed to keep safe.

Your health and your kid’s health and safety should come first. Do what is right for you and set rules, if he doesn’t agree on your terms of what you think needs to be done to keep your family healthy then he is being selfish. Show him the door

Please stop right where you are your love for each other is much more important than which one is right or wrong over this issue as the others have said agree to disagree and get on with your happy life you have a man who is taking you and your children under his wing and wants to marry you there is no way you should let this be the reason for a split every one loses especially the children if it’s a good home then keep it that way please share these posts with him so that he knows were pulling for both of you to have enough love to let it go and just enjoy your lives together as a family God Bless

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I may be the only one responding as such, but I feel that if you feel the health and wellbeing of your children are at risk because of a difference in ideology, I see it as an impasse. Personally, I’ve had issues with family members differing opinions but with a newborn on the way, I won’t take chances because I see myself as my child’s only advocate. As a mama bear, you know your limits and your boundaries when it comes to their safety. If you can’t trust your partner to at least go along to get along with what your needs are, I don’t see it lasting long term.

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If you all let it effect your relationship then that’s on you all. Every relationship is going to have disagreements and have different point of views. But that’s normal and healthy. Ending a relationship over this is proof ya all never really loved each other.

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It might happen hun.
You have to be firm on what you believe and if he can’t understand that especially knowing you have a child with a disability he should be more understanding

You were a perfect match but matches burn. This happens to everyone. If you feel that ure both becoming toxic to each other just try to give it another shot and heal. Covid affected so many lives and people are divided.

This is touchy, if u feel getting the vaccine is going 2 affect the health of the child with health issues then yes u should just move on. U need someone who is going 2 understand u only want what’s best 4 the child. If its it’s in no way going 2 affect him either way then just agree 2 disagree. Almost 3 years is alot of time 2 just throw away over something so ridiculous but at the same time almost 3 years isn’t that long if he can’t understand there are other factors he needs 2 consider about ur kids health.

You do what YOU feel is best for you and your children. But you need to have an adult conversation of how you feel bs how he feels. If one or the wants it then fine. But both parties need to be heard in a non hostile setting

My partner and I also differed on our stances (I’m a cancer survivor and our son is disabled so I’m super cautious) and we have only been together 3 years. I worried the same thing (we also differ politically). We sought out counseling to help because we just couldn’t talk about certain topics without jumping down each other’s throats. It helped to a degree, but it is still rough at times. Fortunately his job required the vaccine (and I gave him an ultimatum as I ended up needing to have intensive surgery and didn’t want to add another risk factor in our home) so he at least got that which helped, but we still differ on how to best protect our kid who’s too young to be vaccinated. I don’t have any advice other than to try counseling to talk to each other about it more productively and openly. But you aren’t alone - in the same boat :heart:

You haven’t been together long. If this is causing such problems in your relationship, how will things work when other large scale issues arise? This may be a good point in reflecting on whether it’s best to continue down this road. While having a partner who always thinks like you, is boring and annoying at times, remember that when it comes to basic fundamental world views- which usually involves religion and politics- many people who sit on opposite sides of those issues don’t make it. And that’s ok.

Something as controversial as Covid can be a hot button. If you differ so much that neither can see the other side…perhaps you should both be spending more time learning to communicate openly and effectively…if you don’t want this to collapse.
I feel strongly about what Covid has done but I don’t begrudge anyone their opinion at this time of great fear…I just might prefer mine more :purple_heart: Heartbreak isn’t easy and I am sorry you’re going through this - you’re not alone

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I feel like if you guys can’t respect each other’s viewpoints and opinions then it isn’t a healthy relationship

Y’all were still getting to know each other basically when covid hit. It’s been 18 months. Y’all have spent more time allowing a difference of opinion “destroy” your new relationship than y’all have even been together. He doesn’t have to agree with you and you don’t have to agree with him, but if y’all can’t respect each other’s view points, agree to disagree and then move past it, then why prolong the inevitable? A great relationship isn’t about being with someone that thinks the same way as you or is so easily persuaded to change their beliefs to make peace with the other partner. A great relationship is finding someone that is respectful enough to see past the difference in opinion and love them anyway without considering it to be a “relationship ruining” deal breaker.

I’m going through this with my partner of 6 year I’m high risk I have lung problems low immune system and history or blood clots we also have a 1,2&3 year old boys he’s had the vaccine I refuse to have it

If I had to guess you probably support the vaccine and he doesn’t. You guys have different views because you’ve lived different lives. And that’s okay. But you should also respect that you both have different views for that reason and so what both of you are comfortable with it doesn’t have to be the same thing. You just have to support each other.