I feel selfish for not wanting to breastfeed my second: Advice?

Do what you feel is best. Never feel selfish for your decisions…Good luck mumma x

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There is no shame in bottle feeding your baby. Start weaning your 2 year old now. By January you may feel differently, but it’s o.k. if you don’t. If you decide to breastfeed, set a time limit on when to stop, for example 1 year.

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Formula cost a fortune I would not breast after a year old it’s much harder to break the habit

Nope do what’s best for you. Me personally don’t feel comfortable Brest feeding full stop myself. All my kids were formula. Ive no issues in those that do. But it what feels best for you personally

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Nobody can tell you how to feed your baby but you. There’s nothing wrong with formula. My oldest was formula fed. My middle had formula and breastmilk. Now my youngest is formula fed. Don’t feel bad mama and don’t let anyone tell you you’re wrong for whatever you choose.

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Try weaning her now and get a break. See how you feel when the baby is born. Don’t make a decision so far out. But if when that baby comes you still feel the same way then by all means. You shouldn’t breastfeed at the cost of your mental health.

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Your mental health IS important.

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I didn’t breastfeed any of mine because it wasn’t good for me…I don’t feel guilty at all. I still bonded with my kids and they were fed. They are no different than a breastfed kid

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There is nothing wrong with formula feeding. I did both my girls. It’s a personal choice in my opinion. No Mother should be shamed for not breast feeding or deciding to breast feed.

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Fed is best!! I couldn’t breastfeed my first due to medical reasons, breastfed my second and serious issues (mastitis that even my ob and sons ped had never seen that bad in their whole careers, thrush on both breasts, bleeding and blisters, so painful and stressful when my supply dropped even after pushing thru and feeding and pumping). I told my husband that the one I’m due with now will not be breastfed. I’ll pump as long as I’m comfortable doing so but baby will be on formula as well because I’m not putting myself in the position I did before. My mental health is extremely important and the care I give my kids won’t be the same if I’m struggling. Fed is best momma, however you feel best is what’s best for your children!! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Nurse but set a timeline for weaning. That way you don’t feel guilty

Not selfish. But you can always wean them earlier. I never produced milk with my first and so what I can tell you is how insanely expensive formula is, almost $40/week. If that’s not something you have to worry about, just make sure you are mentally the best you can be for your babies. If that means not breast feeding them, then that’s okay.

As long as your baby is fed, THATS what matters!
Wait and see how you feel closer to time, and go from there! Don’t let anyone make you feel less than for doing what’s best for you and your littles.
:sparkles:YOUR MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS :sparkles:

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I would say wean your oldest to give yourself a break and then see how you feel after the newest one is here. If you mentally can’t handle it then you can’t. I understand that completely

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I have 3 children, 2 late teens, 1 early 20’s…all amazing, healthy, bright, ambitious kids. First nursed for 3 weeks, second 2 days, 3rd straight to formula. I just couldn’t handle it. Do what’s best for you.

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Do not let anyone tell you what you need to do with your body. Baby will be fed one way or the other. So if you feel it will help you more mentally to not do not put that extra stress onto yourself. Make the best decision for you and your life. Good luck

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All my babies were formula fed. My last baby he’s 3 weeks, I tried to breastfeed but it hurt my nipples too much, I’d cringe every time he’d start feeding and tense up. I decided to just bottle feed him. Just do whatever you feel you need to. It’s your body and your life.

It’s not selfish at all. Your mental health is way more important. Breastfeeding does take a mental and physical toll on moms. Also I would say even if you don’t think she is quite ready, maybe start trying to wean her. Give yourself a break and re-evaluate later if you feel you want to. I breastfed most of my kids. Once I got to my 6th being born I said I was done and refused to breastfeed her. I haven’t breastfed since and I don’t plan to with our 8th who is due in a few weeks either. After my 5th was born I tried so hard to breastfeed and struggled massively with it. He was basically attached to me 24/7 because of his small size and he had a rough time with latching due to a small mouth. He also developed a milk protein allergy. Finally I said enough and switched him to formula and he honestly did so much better and gained weight quicker and I don’t regret switching. I developed postpartum depression that quickly turned to postpartum psychosis because I had never had postpartum depression and didn’t know what I was feeling because I felt like I was just numb and done with everything and couldn’t function. After going thru that I decided to never breastfeed again. I’m happy with my choice. My formula fed kids have done so much better and gained weight so much quicker than my breastfed babies and they seemed healthier and didn’t get sick as often. Plus my mental health quickly improved after stopping breastfeeding. Everyone is different. Feed your baby how you see fit and don’t feel guilty!!!

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Breast fed, bottle fed, breast milk
Or
Formula … whatever that baby will have, will be fine- it will be fed. Your mental health is important… you need to do what you need to do to ensure your mental health is intact, and I think that’s a small sacrifice. I know kids that were formula fed from day one that turned out healthier than mine did and I gave breast milk (by bottle, as they would not latch) and followed the diet and so called rules to a T, however my kids still ended up with asthma and other health bumps along the way while those formula kids thrived … :woman_shrugging:t2::woman_shrugging:t2::woman_shrugging:t2:don’t overthink this …
do WhAts best for you mama, what’s best for your mental health is best for your kids in the long run!

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Your body, your choice. If you don’t breastfeed, it will be fine.

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It is not selfish! I tried to breastfeed my first, my milk wasn’t coming down and he was taking big chunks out of my nipples. The nurse at the hospital before I went home twisted my nipples, it hurt like hell. I didn’t even try with my daughter.

Fed is best I know people who been breast fed and still have many issue including austim

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FED is best. Not breast fed, not formula fed. Who cares which way is fed, as long as baby is fed. Dont even trip.

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FED is best…it doesn’t matter how you feed your baby. You got this momma

I only breastfed 1 out of my 3 because I had to work and I didn’t produce enough pumping. Whatever the reason for the decision as long as the baby is fed that’s all that matters.

Fed is best, mama. Take care of you to take care of the babies!

Not selfish at all, i formula fed and found it was easier and worked better for us, i had no intention of ever bf.

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NO, your not selfish. Your baby will be FINE!! Good Luck!!:heart:

I always recommend breastfeeding however mental health is important and if you can afford formula then go for it! Fed is best

I did not breastfed either of my daughters. Had no desire and they turned out pretty good. Don’t let people guilt you.

Wean your 2 year old and give new baby formula, I don’t see it as selfish you have to care for yourself to care for them so do what you need to do! Don’t let nobody make you feel otherwise! Congratulations!

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Not selfish at all! We forget we’re people too when we have a baby to care for. It is a huge strain and I don’t know if I want to breastfeed with my next one either :woman_shrugging:t4:

I didn’t breastfeed either of my babies. They’re happy, healthy, wonderfully intelligent and caring teens/ early adults. I was made to feel bad about it even though my kids are my world. You don’t need to explain why you’re not breastfeeding, it’s your life. Congratulations and I wish you the best!

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No guilt! You will have 2 kiddies and that is difficult already! Relax!

Not at all! I’m formula feeding my new baby (due in February) and I nursed my first for 2 years. I can’t do it again

Lesson learned here is not to care about other people’s opinions and do what’s right for you!

I breastfed my first for 3 weeks but it was too painful.
I breastfed my second for 1 day (the day she was born) and it wasn’t for us.
It’s definitely not selfish, formula worked better for us and I wouldn’t change a thing. I have 2 healthy kids.
Fed is best, don’t let all the “breast is best” people tell you otherwise.

I’m not a mom yet but I don’t plan on breastfeeding. And you know what? That’s okay! Formula fed, breast fed—as long as your baby is happy and healthy, you have nothing to worry about. You also have to do what’s best for you! Your health matters too, Mama. Never forget that :two_hearts:

You don’t really have to decided that yet. Work on weaning your daughter. I get it’s a process. Try the bandaid trick. It worked for me. Once you get a good break you might feel ready to breastfeed your new baby.

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There is always a ‘best’ option, that’s just the way of life, but what is YOUR best option? If breastfeeding is going to be a negative experience, don’t do it. Why would you put yourself through any extra negativity? Breastfeeding might be the best option nutritionally, but don’t ever let anyone tell you that it’s the only option, or that others are lesser. It’s your body, your life, your family… choose the best option for YOU

FED IS BEST, who cares!?

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You are not selfish at all! Fed is best momma. Your mental health matters more. :woman_shrugging: I’m currently weening my 2 year old as well and it is hard! You just do what you need to. Who knows maybe when that time comes you might change your mind. Or try brest and bottle. Or whatever you do will be perfectly fine.

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Learn how to tell your children no. And then breastfeed the second for a month, then supplement until they’re on the bottle. The vital nutrients are received the first month after birth. I guarantee you probably wouldn’t even know the difference is you just bottle-fed. However… If you don’t seriously learn how to say no… That oldest one is going to kill you… Or make you wish you were dead.

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Never nurses any of my kids. I knew I mentally wouldn’t be able to handle it, plus I take meds for my mental health that I can not take while breast feeding. It’s not for everyone. Don’t feel guilty about it.

Like the airline says: you have to put on your own oxygen mask before you can help others. Wean the 2 yr old. Then decide whether you want to breastfeed the next one.

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Wean her, she’s two, so its not necessary any more. And take your body back and buy formula for the baby. No one HAS to breastfeed, what people NEED to do is make sure the baby is fed, whether it’s bottle or boob… who cares, your body, your baby… I did it when I could or if I could, and I stopped when I wanted to…

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Fed is best regardless of why you choose either option. The ones saying “yes your selfish” what if you were unable to breastfeed? Some babies don’t latch, some mother’s need medication that is unsafe when breastfeeding, some babies just refuse the breast. I’m a firm believer in as long as a baby is fed and healthy that is what matters

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I have 4 kids and my oldest was breastfed for about a month and each kid was less and less. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to, it was because of all the circumstances. Looking back, I wouldn’t change anything. You have to do what is best for you.

If it’s bad for your mental health, don’t do it. Your babies need a mentally stable mom more than they need to be breast fed. You got this!

I Bottle fed both of mine and they grew up fine

It’s not selfish you have to do what’s right for you to be able to do right for her, she will adapt to the change probably quicker than you lol

No its not selfish. Do what works for you!! Put your baby on a bottle and make life easier for you and your baby

You do what’s right for YOU! Your mental health is so very important and if breastfeeding another baby for possibly two more years doesn’t sound doable then you formula feed That baby!! FED IS BEST!!

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FED IS BEST!!!doesn’t matter if it’s breastfeeding or formula. As long as baby is happy and healthy, that’s ALL that MATTERS!!!

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Stare at your husband violently and scream at him “you and your useless nipples leave me to do all the work!” Once you’re inevitably satisfied taking it all out on your baby daddy (as you do for everything he can’t control) you’ll feel much better and want to connect with the new life God has blessed you with

A happy healthy mother is what is best a for a child. If it is causing a decline in your mental health that is so much worse for the baby. I had to choose my mental health over breastfeeding for my son too and I don’t regret it. Both your children deserve a happy mom.

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Don’t decide now. Give it a try and decide.

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My two were formula fed. They are perfectly healthy adults. My daughter just had her first and breastfed him for a month. She really struggled with it but felt like she had to push through. I sat her down and told her that her mental health and happiness is more important. He is now 3 months and doing great, growing like a weed. Prioritize your health and happiness and your baby will be healthier and happier for it.

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Wean the toddler yesterday. If you never want to breastfeed again, don’t. Your body, your choice.

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Wean the 2 yr old off.

There are health benefits for a newborn to nurse, but they don’t need to nurse that long to get the benefits.

You don’t have to breastfeed, but if you decide you want the baby to get the benefit of breast milk, you could use a pump for a couple of weeks or so, and then switch to formula. There are all kinds of options … no breast milk at all, breast milk for a short time right after birth via pumping, or breastfeed directly for a specified period of time. It’s up to you. Babies benefit from breast milk, but there are some mothers who can’t breast feed their babies … sometimes they don’t produce enough milk, sometimes they have to take meds, etc.

Your on/gym can advise you. Just explain your preferences to the doctor, so that you’re prepared to make sure you’re doing what’s best for you & the baby at the same time.

Don’t feel guilty or selfish for wanting to do what’s best for you and your baby. All mothers learn from their experiences with their first child what they need to alter for the next child, and any other children they may have. You learn with each one, and you make adjustments for improvement … for everyone. Good luck, and congratulations!

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It’s not selfish! You do what’s right for you. I gave birth to my one and only daughter and I choose not to breastfeed bc of her dramatic entrance and things were already rough and last thing I wanted to worry about was if she was getting enough to eat and I was also medicated during the pregnancy afterwards. I would of had to quit my meds to breastfeed but that really wasn’t an option to me bc my mental health is just as important

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If it were me I’d stop the 2 year olds nursing yesterday, give myself as much as a break as possible between now and when new baby arrives then I’d set a more short term goal for breastfeeding my newborn like 6 to 10 months… i mean momma fed is best so do you boo, :point_up_2:t3: simply stating what I feel I’d do if faced with this sitch in my life rn :black_heart::black_heart::black_heart:

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I formula fed my last one because breastfeeding is stressful and not something I ever enjoyed. Fed is best. Don’t feel guilty. Just do whatever works for you.

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I’d definitely give it a try, I fed my first for 9 months then my second for 6 weeks they are 6&7 now and I still feel sad that I didn’t feed my second for longer :disappointed_relieved: my girls are 14 months apart so it felt like I was pregnant for 2 years straight and was over it by the end haha, but if I could go back I would deffs feed my second for longer

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Fed is best either way. What i would do though is ween your oldest and then pump your colostrum and give that to baby just so he/she gets the good stuff. Then dry your milk and formula feed.

It’s not selfish, mama. You do what you think is best for yourself. I bottle fed my first and breastfed my second. It just didn’t work the first time around. Whatever keeps you and baby happy and healthy :heart:

No it’s not selfish to put the bub on formula it’s totally your decision at the end of the day

I’ve been in your shoes and said the same exact thing up until babygirl number 2 was born. I tried doing both breast milk and formula for a month because my firstborn would not take a bottle, but my second ended up projectile vomiting every time I supplemented with formula so I went back to just breast milk. Then I got lazy and didn’t feel like pumping so she took only the boob (just like my firstborn :sob:). I breastfed both until they were 2 years old. Mom guilt got the best of me and I LOVED the connection I built while breastfeeding. But I’m not going to lie I dreaded it once they got to a certain age and had all their teeth. My biggest advice is do what makes YOU happiest. Baby won’t know the difference if you do formula or breast milk :heart:

Take care of you. If you are not at your best how can you be your best for your children? Don’t feel bad about putting you first.

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No need to feel selfish. Here’s two mottoes for you “fully belly is best fed” and “well being over opinions”. As long as baby’s belly is full and your well-being (both mental and physical) are good, nothing else should matter. Not even a bunch of strangers or family. I rather your baby having a full tum and you being the healthiest and safest you can be then you bowing to pressure, breastfeeding and possibly putting yourself and bubs well being at risk (even unintentionally)

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What about pumping for new baby then you can do what you need to and dont get the mum guilt of one having something the other hadnt.

Its not selfish to want a two yr old not to nurse :slight_smile:

Either way mh has to come first, because this can impact more dramatically on your children than anything else in my opinion

Formula/breast it don’t matter
HOWEVER, be prepared to spend upwards of like $12 per can on formula
That plus extra daycare expenses for you adds up

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel selfish for not wanting to breastfeed my second: Advice?

FED BABY IS HAPPY BABY!!!
Breastfeeding okay
Formula feeding okay
As long as that baby is eating it shouldn’t matter which way you as the babies mother decides to feed

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I tried with my 1st and was not successful so we did formula. i do not plan on going through the mental part again that i did the 1st time so i plan on going right into formula with my 2nd due at the end of october! you should never feel guilty about the way your baby is fed! FED IS BEST!! you deserve to take time off n chase your dreams!!

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You need to do what is best for you. They will love u either way. But they need a happy healthy mommy and u only know what is best for ur own sanity. Keep your head up whatever u choose will be the best.

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Fed is best. My doctor told me that she can’t tell the difference between a breast fed and formula fed baby, but she can tell the difference between a happy and unhappy mother. Do what is best for you and your family and don’t feel guilty about! Formula feeding has really helped my mental health and made me more comfortable and present with being a momma

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Fed is best.
If breastfeeding again is going to take a negative toll on your mental health then don’t do it, and don’t feel guilty about it either. Your baby needs for you to be stable and healthy more than it needs breastmilk, formula contains everything that baby needs and they won’t ever know that they’re “missing out” on what their sibling got.

As long as baby is fed it doesnt matter! But your mental health does and you deserve to be happy as well!

I hate that social media has led us mommies to think we are selfish for wanting our lives and bodies back. It is perfectly OK to wean your two year old. It is fine to bottle feed your newborn. I promise they will feel just as loved and be just as healthy. I breast fed one. Hold and couldn’t take it. I was so unhappy and stressed. The others were bottle fed because it was what was right for me. They are all happy and very healthy.

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She’s 2 yrs old, she has no need to breastfeed. As long as they are fed, they are fine.

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I formula fed all of my kids and they turned out fine. A fed baby is a happy baby

What about expressing and giving formula too? Do whatever suits you best. Babies need a mummy who is happy.x

Fed is best!! I formula fed all three of mine (11, 9, and four months old) and all are happy and healthy! Do what’s best for you momma, everything will be fine :heart: you don’t need any extra stress, and you can still fully bond with a strictly bottle fed babe.

I had this same emotions. My son nursed till he was 25 months and I stopped due to drying up being pregnant. At first I didn’t want to, now I breastfeed full time again. There are days I just wish I could have my boobs back and be able to do whatever without knowing I have to time feeds but I love our bond

Not at all! You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of your littles. I have 2 kiddos. 1 was formula fed, the other breastfed. They both are happy and healthy.
Do what’s best for you so you can be your best for them. It’ll be ok. :heart::heart:

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Take a break and start weaning your toddler. You’ll have to stop eventually anyways as you’ll start having contractions s while BF. I bet that with the small break you’ll miss it and want to with your newborn. If not that’s okay too! A fed baby is a happy baby and a happy healthy baby makes a happy mama. And if you want to go back to work start making the plan to return. Don’t let anyone sway your decision one way or the other. You do what you want to do and what’s best for you and your family. And nobody knows that better than you.

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I breastfed my middle child for 2 years and during pregnancy. I swore 10000% I wouldn’t breastfeed ever again. And the baby was born and I breastfeed fed both of them for a while then just the baby for 2 years.
I often think I was crazy to do that. But honestly I was just drained from the lack of support and understanding from people in my life.
If you choose not to breastfeed that’s fine because your body and mind are the only things that matter. When you are taken care of they are taken care of.

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Fed is best. Do not beat yourself up about not breastfeeding the second one. It’s so much less stressful and you can use programs like wic to help with formula costs.

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Its okay to be “selfish”!..happy momma = happy kids… do what is best for you and tell any judgemental Judy’s to eff off

Breastfeeding is a partnership and if it’s not working for you anymore you need to wean her.

It’s never selfish! Fed is best! As long as your baby is fed with a full tummy that’s ALL that matters! Take care of you first and if that means using formula, or pumping, or doing a little of both then that’s what you do!

As stated…fed is best, happy mommy is paramount! Start to wean your toddler now, so when you bring new baby home breast is a non-issue. By that time your toddler will be more confident about using a cup, and the association to breast will have no impact on new baby relationship when feeding bottle. Toddlers tend to regress a little when new sibs come along, this will be one less challenge for all of you

You do what you need to do. I breast fed both of my kids and honestly it was not a great experience for me. I breast fed first one for about 10 was and weaned because had to go back to work and job was so busy unable to pump. I breast fed my Second one for about 5 weeks. I just could not do it anymore. Don’t feel bad. Everyone knows that breast milk is good for your child but the world will not stop spinning if you feed your baby formula.

You’re feeding your baby. Either way baby will be taken care of. Fed is best. Even though it isn’t breast fed.

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Fed is best mama! You gotta do what’s right for you! Both my kids were formula fed because I couldn’t keep up producing and they came out fine lol. Do what you gotta do!

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You’re not selfish! Fed is best and it’s extremely important to take care of your mental health

For your mental health - it is not selfish. You have to be sure you prioritize your needs as well, so you can best care for your little ones.
I struggled to breastfeed my first two kiddos, when my third came along I chose not to even try. For us, it was the best decision. I was able to actually enjoy him being a baby. (Not to say I didn’t enjoy my other two, but it was a real struggle to form a bond at first since feeding didn’t come natural to me)
As long as the little one is fed, that’s what matters :heart:

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I’ll be blunt with you. Ween your first and don’t go as long with your 2nd. I am very much for breastfeeding since it will change to meet all your babies needs. If your baby is sick your breast milk will recognize that and start producing antibodies. It’s cheaper than formula, it also helps expose babies to different tastes and flavors of the food you eat. Breastfed babies have a decreased risk of SIDS in the first year of life. Slightly enhanced performance on tests of cognitive development. And with breastmilk babies have a decreased risk of developing eczema, asthma, and food allergies. I could go on and on but you get the point lol. Of course a fed baby is a happy baby and if you choose to do Formula that’s okay! But scientifically speaking BREAST is BEST so I personally will choose that option time and time again for my kids. My eldest breastfed until 13 months (I had to ween her due to sore nipples from baby #2 pregnancy). I intend to only feed my youngest for a year. And will do the same for each one after. I think if you ween your first and have these next 9 months sort of to yourself that you may feel differently about it, especially once your baby is born!

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Not at all. I have 5 kids and I didn’t breastfeed any of them. You do what is best for you and your family, screw whatever one else thinks.

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