I am a mommy to a beautiful girl who will be two pretty soon. She has been exclusively breastfed since the minute she was born. She still nurses to this day& I can tell she isn’t going to be ready to be weaned off any time soon… it’s taken a toll on my mental health & I hate to say it, but I want her off as selfish as that sounds. Last month, I found out we were expecting another bundle of joy in January. As my fiancé and I are so happy, I’m a little bit unsure what to do… I always said I would nurse all my kids, but going almost two years, I feel like I can not do it again. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for the past two years & I’m ready to work and go back to school… is it selfish of me to formula feed this new baby? I need advice & opinions. I know I have a long way to go, but it’s just been on my mind so heavy, and I have literally been stressing myself out over this….
It is in no way selfish of you to not breastfeed your second baby. There are many moms who choose not to/can’t breastfeed for various reasons. Your baby will be just fine. Also, your mental health is very important especially being a mom. No mother should be made to feel like a bad mother for choosing the method that works best for her. I highly encourage you to read the article “8 Reasons to Formula Feed Your Baby” on mom .com
It discusses guilt and breastfeeding.
I wish you the best! Take care of yourself.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel selfish for not wanting to breastfeed my second: Advice?
Not at all momma Fed is best!
So what’s best for you as well! You can’t take care of others if you can’t take care of yourself. Stay strong mamma
Didn’t even try to breastfeed x4 kids
Just wasn’t something I wanted to do
As long as they eat.
A happy mom is a happy baby.
Don’t feel selfish. As long as the baby gets fed my and it’s healthy, it’s ok!
You could always pump
Not at all. Your mental health will affect your baby as well so if it’s too much it’s too much. I would definitely wait until new baby gets here before making your decision though. Hormones play tricks on us sometimes especially during pregnancy! I didn’t breastfeed my daughter because it is what was best for our family.
Hell no lol breastfeeding is hard I didn’t even have to read more to kno lol
You can always pump. My son weaned 2 months before his brother was born. He was almost 2.5
Now i am 1y in breast feeding his brother.
Just know you can wean her but the clingy touching and grabbing for the boob doesn’t stop. Its been a year and my son still tries to twiddle for comfort i hate it.
I always do it for the first 2 months. Even just the colostrum then I have to stop to get back to my normal life. Working full time an breast feeding is not easy.
Not selfish. I formula fed both of mine and they’re health. You need to do whats best for everyone. Taking care of you is taking care of them. Congratulations
You know what’s best for you and your family! Don’t let anyone tell you any different! So nice to see so many supportive comments but there are lots of people who are judgemental on this topic. YOU are the one devoting time and energy to this baby and if you decide that you’d rather not, don’t let anybody change your mind.
Nothing is better than breatsfeeding!!! But you can Pump your milk
No, it’s not selfish. Your wellbeing matters too.
I pumped exclusively for my first & nursed my second for a whole year. When our third and last came around, I knew I couldn’t mentally do it again. Best decision I ever made.
Nope. I didn’t breastfeed any of my kids and they are healthy, happy and I don’t feel bad at all.
Fed is best no shame in Formula its about your well being and also the babies
As long as your baby is eating who cares where it’s coming from. If you want to for a week or a month so be it. If you want to pump for a month so be it. If you need to use formula so be it! Don’t feel bad
Yhooo breastfeeding is tiring. I just weaned off my almost 1yr old (3rd son) and boys love their nana. Perhaps see how you feel when you hold your bundle for the first time.
I have one child a 4 year old son and I formula fed him and he turned out just fine. Breast feeding wasn’t for me.
My niece pumped enough breast milk for a year.stored in a freezer…
I think breast milk iz best…
But if formula is your choice…then do it!!
Your opening a can of opinions your not gonna want from a lot of people BUT do what makes YOU happy as long as your baby is fed and your mental health is good that’s all that matters…
I pumped for the first 3 weeks the switched to formula. I am pregnant again 24 weeks along. Will do the same.
Fed is best! Do you mama!
Not selfish at all! I had one of each. And people that say breastfeeding is better, my formula fed daughter is healthier & smarter than my breastfed one so I say you do you!
No fed is best no matter what way u choose
MaYbe pump so part of the feedings can be from someone else
It isn’t selfish. Breastfeeding is hard for most women, and It isn’t for everyone. However, your daughter will likely not quit on her own. It sucks, and it’s hard to deny them what they want, but I just stopped letting my sons do it. I would gently redirect them elsewhere. I breastfed both of them until they were 2. I was honestly so glad to be done, and now I’m due with a very unexpected, but welcome surprise in October, and I’m already like “Here we go again…two more years.”
I have two kids as of now, 3 yr old and an 11m old. I have never ever breastfed or even felt tempted to it. I said from the very beginning that I never wanted to, and stuck to it. I wanted to have the freedom of other people could feed if I needed them to, and I wasn’t worried ab if my baby had food if I wasn’t around at a certain time. Idk, it just wouldn’t of worked for me and your mental health is important as well.
FED IS BEST!
You need to take care of yourself first or you’re no good to your babies… do what you need to. Who cares what others think. Fed is best
Congrats on your new baby!! It’s not selfish mama! I would definitely give the baby colostrum and then stop breastfeeding! Colostrum has a higher percentage of minerals, vitamins, and protein than breast milk does:heartpulse:
Whilst breastmilk is amazing stuff nothing can ever be better for a baby than a happy and healthy mother. If you will be happier formula feeding then formula feed! Fed is best
People always say breastfeeding is better and the baby is smarter etc… I don’t buy into it. I have two boys who are gifted and they were bottle fed with formula. They tested highest in the state in logical thinking. Do whatever you feel is best. The baby will be fine no matter what way you choose.
Do what you need to do for you. People will guilt trip you into it, unfortunately. My daughter breastfed her first, but not her second. It was her choice. She was working and going to school at the time. It was never a issue for her because she didn’t allow anyone to make her feel guilty. Babies have thrived on baby formula for decades and survived. All 3 of mine were bottle fed because I worked and couldn’t handle the extra it took to breastfeed. Whatever works for you is what is best.
It’s definitely selfish the question is are you okay with being selfish or not? Sounds like you’re conflicted because you know it is selfish. Everything you said was about “I” (you). Being a mom is not about you. Being a mom is a lifetime of sacrifices of what “I” (you) want for the kids that didn’t ask to be brought into this world.
It makes me sad to think of a mom and baby missing out on the benefits of breastfeeding. Do you know it reduces you risk of breast cancer and osteoporosis? Anyway, breastfeeding doesn’t have to be the same each time. You may wish to pump, only breastfeed part time, and supplement. And you may not wish to nurse for 2 years this time…
No it’s not selfish. Options are formula, your milk, and donated milk. All great options from a nutritional stand point but you have to take of yourself and your mental health especially having two kids you’ll need to be able to find a new healthy balance for life and if you can’t do it you shouldn’t do it if you don’t want to do it then you shouldn’t do it
Not at all. Formula is just as good. Don’t let these breastfeeding nazis tell you otherwise!
It’s not selfish. Fed is best. You could always either formula, breastfeeding, or pumping. Oh and you could always find some place that donates breastmilk. It’s okay!! Fed is best!
Uh no it’s not selfish at all. As long as your baby is fed that’s all that matter.
If you don’t want to breastfeed then don’t!
A year is good to breast feed but once they are old enough to drink from a cup they should be weaned … Its hard on the mothers body and its hard on the mental development of the child … They need to learn to self soothe and to mature … NOT be enabled to remain an infant
Fed is best. Period. Do what makes you sane enough to be a good mommy. Don’t worry. Don’t feel bad. The baby will be fed. And comfy and love you the same! also, try putting bandaids on your nipples and tell your 2yo that they got hurt every times she tries to nurse. Tell her there isn’t any milk since they have an owie now. After a week or so she will be good. It has worked for a bunch of people I know.
My first was breastfed and I also supplemented. My 2nd was breast fed til 5-6 mo. My 3rd was exclusively breastfed til 15-16 mo. When I have another I do not want to breastfeed at all either. Sometimes when your pregnant you make less milk so that might make it easier to wean.
100% your not being selfish.
You take care of you first… a fed baby is a happy baby. That’s ALL that matters.
Do it, even if for only the first week… two… a month. As long as u can, and then switch to formula and don’t feel guilty!!
You can always give baby both or pump for a few months if that’ll make you feel better about not exclusively breastfeeding. Thats what I did
Don’t feel guilty at all. Do what’s going to help you be better for everyone.
Do what you need to do for you and your family. I only bf for 2weeks with my second as I had nursery runs and a 4yr old to care for too. Do I feel bad about it, heck no. My baby is loved and looked after. How she is fed is irrelevant.
You’re not being selfish and she can have whole milk not formula at this age, give her a sippy cup it’s time to teach her some independence especially since you have another on the way and your body needs energy to grow a new little one
Try to pump and save since you are still producing and boom you have some supply for your baby at least the first months
I breastfed all of my children. I’m proud of being able to do it, but I would never judge or shame a mother who opted out of breastfeeding. It’s not easy and it takes a lot out of you. However, as a milk donor, I would encourage you to look into donor milk if you are unsure about using formula. Eats on Feets and HM4HB are available in every state.
Breastfed my first baby for almost a year, and have always said that if I had a second that I would not breastfeed again. It took a toll on my mental health huge and I feel like I couldn’t do it again.
Fed is best! Should its be by breast feeding or formula… However that may happen and as long as baby is fed and happy that all that should matter! Do what you feel is right for you! With my first I only made it 4 month breast feeding her before switching to formula. Now that I’m due any day with baby #2, I plan to breastfeed him as long as I can, but if it gets to hard for me, then you bet I will be switching to formula!
Wean her now before new baby comes to give yourself a break
Don’t feel bad. I feel the same way. I’m having my third in a few weeks and everyone wants me to BF. I’d rather just bottle feed, I will be returning back to a demanding job and won’t have time to pump, etc. plus with my other 2, I struggled with milk supply, demand and such, I don’t mentally want to go through it again.
Fed is best. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.
its however you feel you want to go with it. do not listen to any of these other comments because they obviously dont know that they have formula for a reason. i still breastfeed my 1 year old and it is very tedious and it does get to the point where you wish they would drink regular milk, i am in the same boat. im expecting my second and im debating if i even want to breastfeed because ive been doing it so long as well its very draining and my mental health after having my first went down hill so bad and you still have SO MANY hormones with breast feeding. its hard and i think you should do what you thinks best. even if you start breastfeeding a week and realize you dont want to continue that is okay and your baby will not resent you for it they wont even know. do what is best FOR YOU and your mental health because your baby will eat no matter what.
Your choice. I exclusively pumped for my youngest for almost a year & it took a major toll so I get it. Sometimes you just want your body back. If it’s not work for any reason, it’s not working. Don’t worry about what other people think dear.
I would suggest pump and bottle feeding or just nursing for the first few weeks over formula feeding. But in the end as long as your child is fed its nobodies business how. And you need to take care of yourself as well.
Love… you’re asking for “permission”
To not breast feed your babies. They are your babies and you know what’s best for them and I’m sure rheum have a happy home and great loving parents. I couldn’t breast feed longer than two weeks with my two. It’s ok momma. This will not make you a bad mom in any way.
Do what’s best for you momma I’ve breastfeed 3 babies and have one on the way the clingyness gets to you and I barely got a break cus all my babies had to be with momma at all times because I had a hard time pumping don’t let any one make you feel less because its your choice either way babies end up healthy
You do as you want. Babies don’t care how they are fed, as long as they are fed when they are hungry.
As a Breastfeeding Consultant & M/B RN . I don’t nor have i ever forced or made any mother do what they don’t want to do. . If a mother wants her baby to have the breast milk without breastfeeding , yes pumping would be the thing. But again, don’t feel bad even if you don’t want to do that. Just love your baby, feed your baby when your baby is hungry & protect your baby
I didn’t breastfeed simply because I didn’t want to. Your body your choice.
You are not being selfish. What your children need is a happy and well Mama. You need to look after yourself to be able to look after them. Please don’t be so hard on yourself
Do what’s best for YOUR mental health. There’s nothing wrong with bottle feeding.
Lol bc one breastfed two years and the other is getting a bottle
That is nothing to feel guilty about
I mean unless one day u tell them it’s bc u didn’t love him as much lol
There’s nothing to feel bad for
I formula fed my second as soon as he arrived. I exclusively pumped for my 1st for 8 months. I wanted to get back on my antidepressant and I wasn’t going through pumping again. If I did get back on my medication, I wouldn’t be able to breast feed. He’s 2.5 and hasn’t had any issues. He incredibly bright and picks up concepts easily. A happy moments to a happier baby. The nurses at my hospital completely supported my choice to formula feed. Don’t feel guilty you have to do what’s best for you to make motherhood easier. It’s hard enough as it is.
Take the boobs back momma
Not judging u still breast feeding but it’s time. She may be pissed for a minute
But she will survive and move on to new things…like sippy cups thatshe gets mad about cuz u packed the purple and she wanted pink raaaaaarrrhhh
Do what is best for you & ypur family! Best wishes!
What if you breastfeed atleast for 6 months, then from 6 months you can bottle feed…
Your mental health and physical health matter. Feed your baby in whatever way is best for your family’s situation, and that includes you.
I support this! Breastfeeding is no joke! trust your gut!
FED IS BEST for you and baby!! Your mental health is just as important, if not slightly more, than breast feeding.
No it’s not selfish! I didn’t breast feed either of mine, my eldest I didn’t produce and my second I didn’t want to… at the end of the day fed is best as long as your baby is getting milk and food your doing a great job as mumma! Your mental health is important to give your children a happy life
You’re not being selfish a fed baby is a healthy baby. I breastfed both of my kids while I worked as a breastfeeding mom your job has to give you time to pump so that’s what I did I pumped while I was at work and I latched when I was with them. But there’s nothing wrong with formula feeding.
I breastfed my second after struggling a ton with my first and finally giving him formula which saved my sanity at that point. Both of my boys are smart, healthy, and well adjusted and have a healthy attachment to mom. What is best for you BOTH is what you choose to do as long as you feel good about it.
You may be experiencing breastfeeding aversion while pregnant. My daughter just turned 2 and I exclusively breastfed her too. I am now 24 weeks pregnant and experienced an aversion as well. I didn’t know it was even a thing until I researched. It was becoming really hard on my mental health and as guilty as I felt I knew it was time to wean. It was really hard at first. I took away all feeding except nap and bedtime. I planned on taking nap away and waiting a bit then taking bedtime. But the aversion got worse and I had to just stop. It took lots of cuddles and affirmations to myself and her. Today is 6 days weaned and my mental health feels like it is getting so much better. Being a mom is hard enough without us being so negative on ourselves. Sometimes what is best for you is best for your babies too!
My firstI breastfed forfew months!
My second I breastfed exclusively for 9 months!My third I didn’t at all because I just couldn’t do it anymore!
Do what works best for you!
nothing wrong with it! I was breastfed but my brother was formula fed, we are 3 years apart in age
Girl. I feel you. My spawn nursed 2 1/2 years straight. Just weened him in November. I’m trying for another…but struggling bc I dont want to go through the struggle of nursing again. But I feel selfish and I feel like I’d be shorting my second in if I don’t.
Breastfeeding was 100% not for me. I did it for the first 6 weeks or so with all my kids and supplemented with formula before doing formula only. I don’t regret it at all.
Fed is best no matter if that’s breast or formula… never let someone make you think you’re doing a bad thing by not breastfeeding.
Only YOU can decide what works best for your family. While breastmilk is the better choice for many reasons, the saying “a fed baby is best” still applies. Do not let anyone make you feel any type of way for doing what works best for you and your family, ever!
Since you have no actual proof I would just let it go and just take a step back from your mom let her calm down and just focus on your family.
You do what’s best for you! You can’t take care of everyone else if you don’t take care of yourself first! Period‼️
As long as your baby is being fed do what is best for you and your family
So what’s best for everyone, if you can’t bring yourself to breastfeed then that’s ok. Either formula or even if you can pump will be fine.
Just feed your baby honey, don’t feel bad or put your self down it takes A lot to raise two little ones.
Your baby, your body end of discussion.
Breast fed my first for 9 months then weaned her onto soilds and pumped at 12 months she went to full fat milk.
Second was more bottle feed as i had issues during pregnancy with mastitis and milk dried up earlier than expected. Both r healthy thoug my youngest has some mad allergys and is 1 in a billion for one of her allergys. But am sure thats just her not formula milk
No, you’re not selfish, life situations change and as long as baby is fed, loved & cared for, you’re good
Fed is best I found that expressing was a way to get abit of time to myself it’s exhausting at the time but baby is drinking from a bottle so you can swap between formula and breast milk but remember taking care of you is so so important so do what feels best for you xx
Fed is always best! However, maybe to help ease your own mind and guilt start freezing your supply you have currently in (since you said your current little is still breastfeeding) and give that to baby when they arrive! Once your frozen supply dwindles integrate a mix of formula/breast milk weening the tiny one slowly to formula. That way you know for at least the newborn phase she is getting the best nutrition possible with out you having to pump/breast feed at that time. You know what’s best for your family, whichever option you choose is the right one I’m sure!
Maybe pump and bottle feed then that’s kind of a sanity saver compromise. But fed is best and better to be happy and healthy than miserable and not enjoying your family.
you are not selfish of course, however it doesn’t seem fair to the second child to miss out on the benefits of breastfeeding because you haven’t been firm about weaning the older one. Tell her it is time to stop and offer ways to connect --often toddlers just wnat connection with mama and bf is a way to get you to sit down and pay attention to her. Offer to read a book and cuddle instead. With a few months break you may feel more like bf the next one.
No way you are not selfish for wanting time to take care of yourself! Breastfeeding is hard af it’s so time consuming and it takes a lot out of you! 2 years is the perfect time to wean her off! I don’t know if I want to breastfeed my daughter or not this time. My goal is 6 months but it was seriously so hard on my mental health the first time and I went way longer than I actually should have. This time if I start to struggle with ppd or just have a really difficult time with it I’m not risking my mental health because of Mom guilt. I’m setting a goal and if I can’t do it then I’m not going to beat myself up this time around. I want to go back to work and school too so that’s more than a good enough reason to want your body and your sanity back!
Awww i love all these positive comments on here
I’d say breastfeed as long as you can. Do both bottle and nursing so it’s easier to stop when you need to.