I have been with me FH for 2 years, we are supposed to be getting married this year. Issue is, i feel so unloved and unwanted by him recently. We haven’t been intimate in over 2 weeks… any time we argue i try to sit and talk it out and he shuts down and refuses to engage or discuss anything. I have cried so much the past few months. I love him and i want to make this work but he refuses therapy and says i need to get out of my own head and stop creating issues…he calls me names when we fight and always blames me and never acknowledges when he hurts me. when is it time to walk away even if you love someone with everything you have? Is this fixable?
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It’s not fixable if only you are trying to fix it…NOW is the time to walk away you deserve to feel loved and wanted EVERY SINGLE DAY!
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If you can’t see yourself or bring yourself to ending it now, you definitely need to postpone that wedding to work out those issues. Growth exists. It could get better but the fact that you’re seeking advice on when to leave says you know you deserve better & that you should probably leave sooner rather than later. If any part of you is saying to leave, listen to it!
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You can’t fix an asshole.
If it’s only been two years and your still not married I think id see how it leads. If you’ll truly be happy or not. I married young to a older man and ended up having two children by him. ( Now the not sharing feelings, not talking about it shutting you out ect must be a guy thing, because all I men I’ve known has been that way!) Anyhow, the name calling issues don’t get better! My husband calls me a bitch, honestly after 11 years it doesn’t hurt me now, yes I’m a bitch the biggest red head bitch you’ll ever see, is what I say to him. Wait untill your married, now you can’t talk about marriage problems. Especially if your not the first wife. ugh they get the better husband on that part lol. I’ve had a few more older men in my life. One died in an accident. The other I left for my husband. He was a grown man having me pack his lunch for work. Getting up for him to go to work then me school. Video games then and now is his life other than work ya what a surprise! Anyhow. think about the f,uture. If this continues will you truly be happy and have a happy family!
Do you have anxiety? I used to create problems in my head all of the time!!! Not saying he is right at all. But my anxiety has ruined a few of my relationships. Counseling would definitely help you two if you guys love one another so much! Best wishes hon
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You don’t call someone you love names. He doesn’t love you. Get out mow
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Marriage ain’t a bandaid. Those red flags are there for a reason, head their warning. If you feel unloved now, just wait till the hard times hit.
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Get out now name calling is verbal and emotional abuse. He is a an abusive narcissistic fucktart. You are entitled to better treatment than that.
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I treat mine how he treats me. It took a long time but we are good now. If he’s worth it work on it because some people think different than you. What might be an issue to u might not be too him
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I just ended a 4yr relationship that was like this… Walk away plz you dont want to keep trying when he dont give a shit!
Sweetie if you’re not seeing the signs just re-read this post. Just cause y’all wanted to get married doesn’t mean y’all have to. Be smart and don’t enter into a compromise or something you may feel is the next step unless y’all are both truly happy. I called off my wedding the morning of because deep down I was so miserable. We can’t change men only they can when they want to & lately all I’ve met are grown ass men having temper tantrums if they don’t get their way. Think it thru before making the long term commitment. Love you and be happy for you. You can’t carry the both of y’all. No compromise! A relationship must be earned whole heartedly
Calling someone names and expecting things to be fine…is narcissistic behavior. Been there and lived it. Move on 
He won’t change
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Yes really think hard
I hate to day stress does alot. You pull away for many reasons
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Yes don’t put up wit name calling. Once it starts they dont stop!
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If he treats you this way now than it will get much worst after you marry him. Walk away unless he is willing to change
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Could be he dont want to get married ever! Or there is another girl in the picture.
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It was time to walk away months ago. Prove is wrong and actually do it 
Stop trying to make it work. It’s over.
For her
Because you didn’t want to lose him, you lost yourself in the process. You became a girl who kept being mistreated and you formed a habit of saying “I’m used to it”. You became a girl who kept being unappreciated and you begin to tell yourself “it’s okay”. You became a girl who kept being undervalued and you learned how to say “I’m fine”. You became a girl who kept being put last and you naturally reacted with “it’s whatever”. You became a girl who kept being taken for granted and you dealt with it by repeating “everything’s ok”. You became a girl who kept being unhappy and you regularly told people “I’m going to be fine”…And if you’re reading this right now, then you need to understand that no guy is worth losing yourself for, no guy is worth suffering for at the expense of your happiness! So KILL your old self and focus on YOU! GET YOURSELF BACK❤
#SelfLove #BestLove #DepressionFree
Idk what a FH is but…if he’s already treating you that way it’s never gonna change
What’s an FH? Also don’t marry him. There are RED FLAGS ALL OVER THE PLACE
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Im assuming FH means Future Husband.
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Honey start packing your bags, when he’s at work get the rest of your things. Move out!! Verbal and emotional abuse are just as harmful as physical abuse. A womans value and self worth should never be defined by the mouth of a cowardly man. You don’t need a man to feel loved and wanted honey, that starts with you!! It is hard, and yes it may hurt because you do love him but that doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve better, If you can close your eyes and see your future without abuse you should be together , but a person with his temperament is prone to violence.
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GET OUT, NOW!! I married a guy like that, had kids. I was lucky to finally get out with my life. I have a ton of physical and emotional scars. My children are effected for life. It will not get better, only worse. And, you will end up wondering what you ever saw in him. He is brating you down, emotionally…don’t allow it anymore.
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Emontioal abuse is far worse that physical. Yet people tend to turn a blind eye to it and make up all the excuses in the world. Look up gas lighting also narsasistic. Don’t accept this as normal. This is not love
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It’s not worth trying to talk to someone who doesn’t want to talk about anything, if he is like this with you now what would it be like if you married him. You can’t be the only one trying. Love hurts
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Maybe he is getting scared of the commitment marriage is? I have a friend who says marriage license is nothing but ownership papers. It’s easy to leave when living together dating etc. But marriage is different! Not giving excuses for him calling you names! I have been married for 30 yrs since I was 15 it’s hard and scary
Dont expect him to change. Calling you names. Move on Now. That’s not love. And will only get worse.
Why aren’t you already 2 blocks down already…
You are not in a healthy relationship. When someone shows you who they are believe them. Get out now.
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Leave. Right now while there’s nothing binding you to him. Once you’re married and have kids (if that’s your decision), then it’s harder to walk away. You will hurt. You’ll want to go back. But take the time to heal and then move on. He clearly doesn’t value you so leave before you start to question your own value.
If you’re asking this question, it’s time to go.
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Get out now efore it gets worse
I’m in the same boat when he’s good we’re good but if I dont do what he wants he gets mad and calls me names and argues with me and puts me down and makes me feel worthless
No honey…its NOT fixable. If he treats you this bad now…can you imagine how abusive he will be after your married? This is the part of your relationship that should be the very best. My husband & I are getting ready to celebrate our 46th anniversary…he has never called me names or purposely hurt my feelings. This guy sounds immature & rather mean. Please break up & don’t look back. I promise you that you will meet someone else that won’t make you cry.
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He could be cheating on you. I’d walk away.
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Does not want to marry you for whatever reason. Let go.
It don’t get any better. Sounds like he’s got something else going on if he’s just shutting down. RUN…get out now and find someone to treat you like you should and want to be treated. Also, you could just be single as ND enjoy your
Start walking and keep going. Find the one that you can make happy and he returns the favor.
Walk away name calling is not love (I have been were you are) you deserve so much better then this. X
It’s time to walk away now
Move on other fish in the sea his loss not urs
Go into counseling yourself. He’s emotionally abusing you.
If he isn’t even willing to try to work on it right now, he’s not going toin the future either. Is it worth it to you knowing this going in to it? Wouldn’t be for me. My happiness COUNTS and if he can’t see you’re unhappy, then he doesn’t care. I’d leave now.
It’s already time to walk away this will only lead to more abuse and a miserable marriage.
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Walk away. This is not fixable! This is the type of person that many of us ladies or gentleman would call a narcissist. I lived with things like that for 7 years. I tried fixing it. Nothing fixes it! Nothing is ever their fault. It is always you. He has ruined me. 6 years later I’m a little better but still have some quirks. Please, don’t marry him and leave him!!
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It wont get better trust me
Yesterday, he’s not gonna change I did 4 years of this on and off.
I have been in this situation before, and my best advice to you is: leave!!! Leave now. Leave today. Leave asap. From my own experience, this situation only gets worse.
He’s shown you red flags - show him white and get out now… just leave while you can and still have enough of yourself to see what’s going on
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Time to walk away and cut your losses
I say walk away while you still have nothing to hold you back. Marriage isn’t about fixing someone you love, they have to love you whole heartily in return. If he keeps avoiding you and calling rames like this he’s a lost cause.
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This is beginning of the end, trust me…been there. They make u believe u are crazy for seeing things that’s not there. U starting to doubt yourself…leave right now!
Walk away now. If you’re feeling this way before you’re even married that’s not a good sign at all. These are all red flags that are being waved in your face for a reason. It’s hard to make the decision to walk but you can do it. You’ll eventually look back and be glad that you did.
Walk away and dont look back
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Without knowing more about your relationship other than this post - two things come to mind - maybe marriage terrifies him and he doesn’t realize he is acting different because stress does weird things to people- or those could be red flags for your future if you get married. - Only you know the entire situation but maybe you can look at it from an outsiders view.
Red flags girl! Trust your gut. He will never change and you will waste years of your life finding that out.
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Has he been watching porn?
Walk away- your relationship is toxic and will get worse. Don’t worry, you will find love later, one who loves you for who you are and appreciates you without the abuse! Walk away and don’t look back.
As you read from all the comments you should know what is best for you.Stay if you want but you’ll be crying for a long time.
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No no and no
You’re very lucky to not be married…
Dump him
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From the words of Elsa…Let it go!!
Time to go fishing and look for another good one
Maybe he’s depressed? Stressed?
Narcissistic behavior. Run now.
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NO!it isn’t you need to get out now he is no good
Get out now before it’s too late.
You are young, please please get out now. You can love him with all you have. He is not going to change. And if he dose it’s only going to last a week or two and it well go back the to the same old ways but worse. I have been in a unhappy marriage for 30 years, i kept praying and thinking if i could get him to believe how much I loved him he would change. But now im so depresses, and unhappy, i cant leave i dont have the money. And Now im old and hate my life.
Sounds like hes got a new love ditch him there’s plenty more where he came from
Leave if he loved you he wouldn’t be name calling you or belittle you red flags get out
He’s not ready to be married and I bet he didn’t even invest any money into the wedding. It’s not worth the time or money so just cancel it and walk off first
What’s he done wrong,
Run run while u got time I no
He might be cheating…you need to check yourself and get out now…he wont change and might get worse if married…self preservation…JDL
No
Best that you not marry.
Just walk away you don’t need that .
For her
Because you didn’t want to lose him, you lost yourself in the process. You became a girl who kept being mistreated and you formed a habit of saying “I’m used to it”. You became a girl who kept being unappreciated and you begin to tell yourself “it’s okay”. You became a girl who kept being undervalued and you learned how to say “I’m fine”. You became a girl who kept being put last and you naturally reacted with “it’s whatever”. You became a girl who kept being taken for granted and you dealt with it by repeating “everything’s ok”. You became a girl who kept being unhappy and you regularly told people “I’m going to be fine”…And if you’re reading this right now, then you need to understand that no guy is worth losing yourself for, no guy is worth suffering for at the expense of your happiness! So KILL your old self and focus on YOU! GET YOURSELF BACK❤
#SelfLove #BestLove #DepressionFree
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Change is possible but is the wait worth it? Are the rough months of working through & making things better worth the end result? Could it be that you are possibly making things up in your head to fight about? Can you bring to his attention that the name calling is beyond uncalled for & making things worse & if you bring this up will he deny that he did it? These are just some things to ask yourself when trying to figure out what to do!! Communication is KEY. If you don’t have that you have nothing. Try to bring the conversation up about how you feel when youre NOT fighting so that he doesn’t stone wall you. Don’t make it a fight either, don’t accuse just ask him things & let him know how you genuinely feel. Sometimes it seems easier to just let the relationship go but working to move past things like this can make relationships sooo much better! Best wishes. I know what it’s like to be stuck in a situation like this but know that it is possible for things to get better 
The time is now. If you express to him that you’re upset. So upset that you think you need therapy and he doesn’t acknowledge your feelings, then he doesn’t care. No matter how much you think you love someone, he is not making you happy and meeting your needs. There’s someone out there that will. And more importantly, wants to! As hard as it is to walk away, you will be much happier in the long run. Take it from someone who put up with the same shit for years because I was married and had a child with him. He ended up having an affair and that was when I decided to walk away. But now I wish I had done it sooner! I could’ve saved myself a whole lot of heartache. Good luck to you. Do what feels right to you but please don’t wait on him to change when he is clearly showing you he won’t!
Run don’t walk! I know that seems harsh but take it from a 63 year old that had a terrible first marriage that I thought I could fix. You can’t fix anyone, they can only do that themselves. You sure don’t want to be getting married to someone you can’t talk to and are having these kinds of problems before marriage. I saw all the red flags but felt like everyone had spent so much money and time preparing for my wedding I hated to disappoint them and then right before my dad walked me down the aisle he told me it wasn’t too late. I wish I had been brave enough to have changed my mind then.
I have now been married to a wonderful man for 36 years. Always listen to that inner voice. That is God trying to tell you it’s not right, not the right man, not the right time, something is just not right. It’s up to you to listen.
God’s blessings always and I will say a prayer for you.
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If he is that way, you can’t change him. People make their mind up about how they will treat each person in their life. If he has chosen to treat you this way then you can’t change his mind. He has no reason to treat you good if you are still there when he treats you bad. If you break up he will be super nice to trick you. He will go back to treating you bad once he gets comfortable again. Just advice from my experiences.
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You cannot change or mold a man. If he puts you down, call you names (verbal abuse), he shows who he is. You already know what you must do…since you are asking. You deserve better, you deserve more. Love yourself more. If he doesn’t respect you now, he won’t during marriage. Take a good, hard look in the mirror…really…do it. Then ask yourself, “Am I willing to put up with this?” The tears, sadness, feeling alone…when he is present, but absent.
Where is the love,the joy the happiness, the peace in your home. The two of you must be on the same page…especially before marriage. Change does not and will not happen overnight. You put your concerns and feelings on the table…and I’m sure more then once. If he ran or went silent, he already has one foot out the door. You already know what to do!
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nope 
it takes two in a relationship obviously he is preoccupied somewhere else so let him be 
and believe me when someone shows you who they are believe them he is showing his true colors I know you love him but please love yourself more and move on life is to short to beg him to love you and appreciate you move on live your life be happy well …whatever you choose to do I send positive thoughts and vibes your way 
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Leave him for like two weeks and see what happens…then he might realize what he could loose…And if he don’t see that Run and never look back…
Get out while you can. You will find someone that doesn’t treat you like that. I know how it is I have been dealing with it for many years and only because I feel guilty if I leave him. Save yourself the pain, he is showing you his true colors now, make a run for it.
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Sounds to me like he is emotionally and mentally abusing you. You can’t force him to go to therapy and you deserve to be treated with love, kindness and most of all respect. From you say it sounds like the situation I was in with my ex-husband. You can do one of 2 things and that is you can stay, continue to try to get him to open up to and hope the abuse stops or you can leave and start a new life. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy and it’s going to take time to get over the pain and the love you say you have for him if you leave and I would suggest counseling to help with that. If you decide to stay and continue to try to make the relationship work I wish you the best of luck.
And how many of these people on here telling you to get out, have or have had a successful relationship… don’t make you decision based on people you don’t know…so many man haters out there…
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Okay, you are placing way too much of your personal value on the way that he treats you. That is a failing on your end. so what you need to do is get rid of that person who doesn’t see your value and don’t get into any more relationships until you see your own value. That way you’ll attract better people and you’ll stop putting your self-esteem in the hands of your lover. It’s not their job to make you feel validated.
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It’s time to walk away before a marriage, when you have to ask when is it time to walk away. If you are already married, do all you can to work it out then make the right decision for your life. Before marriage is the best time to go if you feel you should.
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This is why I dislike pages like this ! Like I totally get you want advise but mainly everyone on every post regarding a relationship issue says to leave him / her or get out while you can
Sad !!!
We get a small post that says some but all n all it always takes two !! Two to fight , again two for everything
Nobody is perfect
I’ve always learned
Worry about yourself as we can’t change others . Change things on yourself that you know need to be changed
We can’t make people love us , we can’t make people be who we want them to be .
Sometimes all it takes it thinking things out before you speak . At times those arguments are your fault or how you came out and said something started that fight .
Think things through , and remember you can only change you
Love yourself , you can only make someone love you if you love your self first
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I think you know what you need to do. You need to look at what the barriers are that are keeping you there and decide how to get around them. Is it financial? Is it “stuff” that will be hard to split? You can go to counseling to get the strength that you need to make your life better. Let us know your progress.
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That’s a sign usually their cheating and waiting for the right time to leave you.thats how cowards do when they have it both ways because they can’t look you in the eye and be truthful.you got to realize your worth more then that & life is to short to want someone that doesn’t want you back.
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Go seek therapy for yourself. If that’s how he treats you now just think how much worse it might be once your married. If he refuses therapy, don’t say I do!
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Walk away. No, RUN! That is emotional and verbal abuse. It will only get worse from here.
My personal opinion only!! There is no fixing it when only one side is willing to work. A relationship is work and compromise. The name calling is a clear sign he is not ready for marriage. Always remember your mental health is more important than a relationship that is one sided.
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My issue here is that if you have to come to other people and ask them if something will ever work then it won’t. Here’s the thing you have to learn to be single within yourself and love yourself. If you don’t get that in return then go on about your business. Anytime a person is treating you any type of way when you’re single don’t turn around and get married to the problem. When I see women put post like this on social media I’m starting to think it’s not the man it’s the woman who has low self-esteem and doesn’t know how to be by themselves. When I was single I was my best person. Get by yourself and build up your self-esteem. Once you build up your self-esteem and you know your self-worth then you won’t accept a toxic person.
I’m sorry , it’s not going to get any better . I have been there . You deserve to be treated better , there is someone out there for you .
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I would leave if he’s refused help. Red flags everywhere. I wouldn’t marry right away. Speaking from experience
This should be the best, most romantic, easy, enjoyable time of your relationship. Marriage and life cause our relationships to become lax and take work. If this is what you’re experiencing at this phase of your lives, it will only become worse.
If he refuses to discuss or try to change anything then, no, it is not fixable. It takes two people to make a relationship work. You can’t do it by yourself.
Time to hit the road your wasting your time Good luck with whatever you decide