You need to ask yourself, do you really want your son growing up in that environment and having that sorry excuse of a husband being his role model , u need to show your child this is unacceptable but more importantly show his father that it’s unacceptable , he would be leaving if it was me
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Honey, he assaulted you. Get out now. I’m sorry to be blunt, and I know I’m not the first to post the answer you don’t want to hear. The fighting isn’t worth it, and your son is picking up how to treat his future partner through your interactions.
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He is a selfish, abusive man. He does not care for you or your son. You need to leave and take your son with you…immediately.
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Start sleeping in a different bedroom and pull away emotionally. Hang out as a family only then go your separate ways, do your own thing, achieve your own goals. Become friends only.
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Have you thought of going on strike ??? If he cleans the kitchen, tell him he’ll get “lucky”… don’t yell back. Don’t even talk to him if he yells… just walk out.
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That is abuse. I know this is a lot to take in but I highly recommend therapy for yourself. These are some big subjects, not something to be taken lightly. Find a therapist who can help you find the best course of action for you and your son. I can’t say what the right answer is but hang in there love. You are deserving of someone who respects your boundaries and treats you like a queen.
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This is mental abuse plain and simple. I’m sorry I would leave. He gaslighted you into having sex. This is repulsive.
When you say you dont feel like it(having sex) to me is a flat out no…so in my opinion yes he did violate you…If he truly loved you he would of cared enough to say ok I understand and left it at that…but he kept pushing and nagging you until you finally gave in…THATS NOT LOVE!!..I’d tell him either shape up or ship out…Good luck…
Babe, you WERE violated and it 100% makes sense that you feel the way you do. Spousal rape is a thing. Consent isn’t consent if it isn’t given freely and without coercion. This man is abusing you and obviously does not care about your feelings. I’m not sure what your financial situation is, but I’d be trying to put aside money and start planning to leave. If his income is the only one, start getting cash back everytime you go to the grocery or drugstore. Start packing your important non-essentials like photo albums, keepsakes, etc and see if you can store them at a friend or relative’s house. That way when you finally leave, you’ll only have to pack the stuff he’d notice missing. You and your son deserve better than this. This treatment is NOT OKAY. And honestly it will only get worse if you stay. You don’t want your son to grow up seeing his father treat you this way. He will think it’s okay to treat you and other women this way. Divorce is better than being sexually assaulted and mistreated.
If he won’t even consider therapy. Divorce will be your best friend honey! I hope you find what you deserve xx
If a random man comes up and pesters you for your child, are you going to hand your kid over to him? No. Your husband is no different. You have 0 obligation to have sex with him when you don’t want to. It’s your body and your choice. You may not like the idea of a divorce but unless you like living this way, that’s the route you have to take since he doesn’t want therapy. Is there any way you can you can get into therapy by yourself? a therapist might be able to help you work out some feelings and get a game plan on
You two need marital and individual therapy, now. I understand that you are having issues. I also understand that we are only hearing your side. I’m sure he has some valid points also. Very rarely is anyone is 100% at fault or 100% correct.
And I understand how you may not be in the right head space for sex feeling the way you do. And it is perfectly acceptable to say that.
But made me pull up short your saying that, “he doesn’t deserve it”
Whhhhaaaaat?
You are using sex with you as a reward? You decide whether he “deserved” it???
And even more amazing is that you would say such a thing out loud. If my spouse said such a thing to me, I would have booked our first therapy appointment that day. Or I might leave.
Using sex in such a manner is awful. What if he thought in that manner?
What if he said or thought to himself, “Well, if she doesn’t give me sex, I am not helping around the house or with the kid.”
Jeeeeeeeez…Doesn’t sound so nice when he says it or even just thinks it.
If I were you, I would get into therapy asap for both of you as a couple and individually. Fix these problems now while they are still small or you could end up divorced.