Today I found a torn piece of a condom wrapper on my boyfriend’s bedroom floor. We live together, I moved in the end of November. At the time I moved in I was working and we decided things were going too fast and I moved out for about a month until we decided to live together again in his home. I remember cleaning his room spotless, under the dresser, behind, and EVERYWHERE. Swept everywhere. And that was before I moved out. I moved back in January and things were great relationships wise but I lost my job and car until I was able to get both of those back. As I was cleaning our bedroom today, and I found a torn condom wrapper and I talked to him and he claims he didn’t cheat. He says I must have missed a hidden spot from under the dresser and that his ex wife of 10 years used to make him wear condoms before he found out she cheated on him. He also said that if he didn’t want to be with me and/ or that if he wanted to sleep with other people, he wouldn’t be with me. He told me he used those specific kind of condoms with his ex wife when they were together. They divorced last summer and my boyfriend and I have been together since November. He’s the kind of guy I never expected to be with, and in a such a good way. He’s mature, works hard, and he’s not the kind of men I used to date. But the thing is, every time I’m around him, he puts his phone away/ shuts it off, and I talked to him about it and he said it’s because he’s doing it out of respect that I possibly want attention and that his ex wife used to yell at him for always being on his phone so it’s a habit. I’ve never been on his phone, nor I want to. He hasn’t been on mine either but he’s welcome to. Not that we should, because I want that trust for each other. Until I found the torn condom piece on the floor. Should I believe my boyfriend or what? I truly love his guy; but we aren’t even in the love stage yet still. Before I found the condom (only saying when so you know the timreline) He tells me that he’s getting there, and that he truly feels like he’s falling in love but he needs a little time because hes scared of being broken again due to his ex wife cheating on him. It’s a complicated story. I just don’t know what to do.
Honestly, were you guys still together when you took a break and moved out for a month? My guess is it was a small break. During that time, he probably reconnected with his ex. And why wouldn’t he, if he felt like things weren’t going well with you guys? I’ve done dumb things like that when I;felt jilted by someone new… I’d go back to an ex just because I thought maybe it was a good idea at the time. And because loneliness is real, and the idea of having some comforting, even just for a few minutes it allows you to go to bed feeling somewhat better. It wasn’t a good idea, and people got hurt. Im guessing that he probably doesn’t want you knowing this as he’s trying to build something with you. Once you came back, he decided to make it work with you. Despite you living there, did he ever fully commit to being only with you. It sounds to me like you fell on hard times and he was helping you out. Maybe you should just ask him to come clean with you. If it happened during your break, I’d forgive him, but if it’s from lately, then it’s time to move on.
Why y’all moving in together without being in love?! Tf?!