I found my little sister on facebook and want to contact her: Advice?

I went through this SAME thing, but finding my sister was harder
I’m bawling reading this as it brought up so many emotions for me…
Talk to the adoptive parent, shes still under age and it’s a respect type of thing, since you don’t know what she remembers or of she has trauma from the past it’s the only correct thing to do, if they don’t let you talk to her just understand it’s out of safety for her…
My search ended with me not being able to talk to my sister and she’s also disabled from my mother’s drug use :sob:
Good luck and feel totally free to contact me, your not alone!!

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As an adoptive mom- reach out to mom and not the child. The child shouldn’t even be on FB.

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Be careful what u wish for it might come true.Its not always the way u think it will come out.Contact the parents 1st.

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Reach out to the parents and see how they feel

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You need to go through the parents first. Plan and simple.

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Contact the parents first I get your excited but as a younger sibling who’s older sibling found me at 16 it was ruff I know it’s hard but wait till shes a bit older so she can be more mentally aware of all that comes with the memory of you.

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Watch from afar. She’s too young

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Reach out to her adoptive parents first.

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That’s how my oldest sister found our other sister and her oldest son. You should definitely say HI.

Since she is still so young, her needs have to come first. I would strongly encourage you to contact the adoptive parents and let them know your purpose (want to connect and support and offer love, etc) and ask their permission so they can let you know what she needs and how to best help her with this. You’ll have to be prepared they may say no. You can also offer alternatives like sending letters or pictures in the mail first. Good luck, I hope you are able to connect with her and that it gives both of you opportunities for healing. God bless.

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Is little sister adopted or still with foster family. Legally it should be easier to arrange contact if in foster care. Is she still using your family surname, if yes then she prob has not been adopted. Contact CPS and arrange a meeting with a social worker and take it from there. I can’t understand how the children weren’t kept in contact as innocent siblings. Surely it would be in the best interest of the children involved. If the services won’t help reach out to the foster/adoptive parents. Best of luck :green_heart::shamrock:

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Your sister is extremely young to be on fb. Firstly she may not be aware she is adopted so it is paramount to go through her family to see how they feel it should be handled. All the very best

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She’s only 11, so I would maybe message her parents first if she has been adopted.

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I don’t think they would freak out… but if you do message them, make it very clear what your intentions are and that you are thankful she is so loved and taken care of♥️

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Reach out!! Good luck and God Speed!!

At her age definitely reach out to her parents first

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Contact adoptive parents first! Be respectful.

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Thats ur sis if she’s on Facebook then go ahead and reach out to her

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Definitely contact the adoptive parents tell them your motives and all that good stuff and go from there since she’s still so young, also in case she doesn’t remember everything

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If she’s in foster care call Dhs to set up contact. They’d be in charge of that seeing she isn’t adopted. If she is adopted reach out to her parents first.I’m not sure why you weren’t able to stay in contact with her…that may play into the equation. But I’d till say talk with Dhs and get a social worker involved. That way foster/adoptive parents can’t restrict you from seeing/talking to her unless Dhs says no. Good luck!

Wait until she’s 18 to contact her directly. You could try contacting the adoptive parents and hopefully they will be welcoming.

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Yeah your sister could not remember anything or she could remember every single thing and wonder why nobody ever came looking for her. Why nobody ever saved her. So if she’s old enough to have a Facebook she should be mature enough to handle the fact that you are her sister. You said what when she was around six years old? I remember everything from when I was 6. People don’t give children enough credit maybe she has a Facebook so that you would go looking for her

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She was removed from her mother’s care not yours that’s your little sister girl do everything you can to contact her but be gentle about it and definitely talked to the parents first

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I know most would say reach out to the parents first. But do what you want. Just say I just wanted to reach out. And see if you would like to talk or get to know each other. But no pressure. I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you

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Friend her. See if she accepts.Just treat it as though she’s anyone see what happens. Mabe she accepts mabe she doesn’t. :two_hearts:

I’d message her and make sure she’s ok. Yes the polite thing to do would be to contact adoptive parents but you don’t know these people. They could make your sister block you. Some adoptive parents become super jealous of any blood relatives. I’d just want to make sure she’s alright and being treated alright.

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Contact the parents. Depending on how old she was when she was taken away she may not know she’s adopted if they never told her.

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She’s a minor, you need to contact the parents first. Introduce yourself, express your intentions, how you see their love/support and I’d mention that you’ll respect their decision - You’re not looking to uproot her life.

Talk to the parents first

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Just text her “hey do you remember me?” If she says no then leave it at that but if she does then you have every right to get to know her. You didn’t do anything wrong, your mom did.

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As someone who was adopted myself, and since she’s a minor, I would message the parents. It shows them respect and they can talk to her about if she’s ready to contact you. They know her better than you do and they will have a better idea of what she remembers and what she doesn’t. That’s where I would start.

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I actually went through this myself except with my older sister. I have an older sister that my mother put up for adoption before she even considered having me and when I was old enough my parents told me about her and I searched for years for her and one day I did the same thing and looked her up on Facebook and there she was. A spitting image of my mother. I didn’t stop to think about the damage it would do to all of us and I reached out to her. She didn’t even know about me and was told by her adoptive parents that my mom never loved her which was so untrue . She came to meet us once and that was that . It broke me and my mothers heart because her adoptive family filled her head with awful things about us

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If she is on Facebook her parents must have given her permission to have one… I’d say message your sister and the parents just to give a heads up that you messaged her.

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I would contact the parents first as she is underage to start with , it would be a different matter if she was an adult then she can make her own decisions but at the moment I would contact the parents and just ask how she is doing and u would like to get in contact with her even if only by maybe a letter to start with give them a chance to speak to her to see how she feels about it all first before u go jumping in it could scare her off

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I found my sister on MySpace in 2007. I had always said I’d wait until she was 18. She was 8 months shy of 18. Her mom was not happy.

I do not regret it.

Definitely contact the parents first you aren’t aware of her mental state she may be ok and fine but she may be not handling her past well which you contacting her might bring up emotions she’s not ready to handle

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Message the parents first. Be polite and courteous. She’s 11, if she was of age I’d say contact her directly.
I’m sure they won’t freak out, she is your sister and it’s only natural you will want a relationship with her. Id say given the circumstances I’d say they may be expecting it.

And BTW, an 11 year old with a fb? Wtf?

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I would contact her parents first and go from there. It never hurts to try.

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I think as she is under 18 I’d suggest contacting the parents 1st, they know her best and how she will handle it. If they say no or block you just wait until she is 18 and old enough to make the choice for herself. Good luck!

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Don’t. She’s only 11 let her be happy

Contact the parents. They likely won’t block or blame you if you go through them. They may even send you updates even if they’re not ready for you to meet her. However if you go behind their backs, they might be more inclined to block you.

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Friend her,and just go as a friend for awhile then let her tell u her story,an go from there

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Contact parents first

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I definitely believe that you have a better chance of getting to know her if you lay down a path to the doctor trust and respect with her parents. I also firmly believe that you have the right to know your sister, but please go slowly as to protect her.

Contact her parents first. You never know the can of worms you could be opening.