No dating rule at 16? Good luck with that. If you fight her on this then she will shut you out, resent you, and not to mention sneak around. She’s at the age where it’s completely normal to have romantic interests. You need to sit down and talk with her and listen to her. Maybe y’all can agree on some ground rules. I mean do you not remember what it’s like being 16?
68 Likes
Ummm she is 16. If you do not want her to rebel then 16 is a good age. Sit down and talk to her. Explain the rules. Have a safe talk with her and just support her. If you are always fighting about it it is not going to turn out in your favor. This is coming from someone who had a strict father and I wasn’t allowed to leave the house and I ended up rebelling really bad. Trust me you do not want that.
65 Likes
Ridiculous rules deserve to be broken. She’s a kid turning into a young adult. Having some dating experience while she’s still safe under your roof is a good thing! She’s not being disrespectful, she’s becoming her own person and maturing in a way that is perfectly normal.
45 Likes
My mom had similar rules.
So I snuck a LOT of boys over while she was at work. Or I went to their houses.
When it’s forbidden, especially as a teen, just makes it more desirable.
25 Likes
And because of your strict rules she is going to bolt at the first opportunity. You’re pushing her away. If she is doing the things she’s supposed to do at home and school, you cannot forbade a boyfriend. You don’t have to let her go running off in a car with him, but you cannot possibly stop her from having a boyfriend. If you do, she will pick him over you every time and you’ll lose her. Prayers you find compromise.
27 Likes
This is about the worse thing you can do. You should set healthy dating boundaries. My friends parents were very strict and the night she turned 18 she upped and left the house and moved in with the boyfriend.
Strictness doesn’t make a good kid…it makes a kid sneaky.
23 Likes
Get to know the young man. Make it a family date lol they still get to spend time together but supervised. Bend a lil and maybe once you see how serious they are and depending on their maturity level, let them hang out in your living room together etc baby steps til she gains your trust back. Kids are going to be sneaky but the more you make it less of a thrill the less she will want to be or need to be doing stuff behind your back.
15 Likes
Connecting with a significant other is totally appropriate for a child of that age. Important, even. I’d consider re-evaluating your rules - they are certain to be broken because they’re overly-restrictive. There’s nothing wrong with telling your child “we’ve thought about this again, and have made a different decision”. It’s not weakness, it’s an evolution of ideas.
15 Likes
It’s the end of the world as we know it. 
I’d say what I came here to say but most momma’s have already told you.
Soooo… Correct her for lying and sneaking. Then allow her a boyfriend with limitations. 
Or else you’ll probably regret it because she will go crazy wild.
Good luck!
4 Likes
As a human, it is natural to want to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. if you want her to be open and honest with you, then you’re gonna have to accept the fact that she has a boyfriend and let her see him under your supervision. That would be better than her sneaking around. She may end up resenting you if you don’t allow it, you know how it feels to be “in love “
Even tho we know it’s not real love but she has to learn it her self. And who knows maybe he’ll be her husband someday. I only have boys so I can’t relate to having a daughter, but I remember when I was a child and I wanted a boyfriend at first my mom tried to intercept, but you’re never gonna stop her from doing what she wants to do. Sometimes being too strict isn’t the best option.
2 Likes
Get her on some bc because if she’s hiding the fact she has a boyfriend she will most definitely hide the fact that she’s sexually active. 16 is when teens are most sexually active 
the more you are against it the more it will happen 
good luck!
Is there a reason this is a strict rule? While she broke the rule maybe you need to approach this differently. Let’s teach them how to have appropriate relationships and boundaries young so when they become adults they don’t jump at the first person.
9 Likes
You are not doing your daughter any favors by doing this, you are only teaching her how to lie and sneak around. I was just having a conversation with my sister yesterday about how horrible it was that our mother never had conversations with us growing up about safe sex or anything and we both ended up pregnant at 17/18. Be a parent and educate her and be a support system for her. She will thank you and appreciate you a lot more.
That’s why she hid it, because you have a strict rule and she is 16 years old with big feelings. You have the chance here to educate and guide her, I’d take it. My daughter had a boyfriend last year at 14 and she realized that boys are too much work for her schedule, so she decided dating isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. But I was open to it and let her make her own choices in that regard with gentle guidance, she was open and honest and that all we can ask for as parents. PS, I started dating my husband at 15 and we’re still going strong (stronger than ever in fact) 21 years later.
3 Likes
She obviously will do it anyway. You can’t stop her from growing up. I’m not saying let her do as she wants. Set ground rules. All you are doing is teaching her how to sneak around and hide it. Do you not remember being 16? To think of all the things I did at 16…honestly you’ll be lucky if that’s all she was doing. My parents had a strict no alcohol rule. Guess who drank all the time. This girl. My parents had a no smoking rule. Guess who smoked. This girl. Eventually they found out…some of it not until i was in my late 20s. Just because you have a rule doesn’t mean your children will obey it. She’s almost an adult. I don’t know where you live, but here if she were to move out of your house she could because by the time it went through court she’d be 18, so no one would make her move home. (I was told this by Children’s protective service and law enforcement). That’s the last thing you want to push her to do. Remember she’s almost an adult. You have to give her some freedom. If you don’t, not only will you push her away, you’ll make her want to break the rules even more and she’ll do what she wants anyway.
She’s going to do it behind your back and possibly more if you push it.
I remember being 16, my parents were very open with all of us and because of this I never had to hide anything from them.
Giving kids complexes and anxiety around dating and sex causes issues in the long run. Experiences are important to social development skills. Even the “kiddy boyfriend girlfriend” stuff when you’re in elementary 
Being “not allowed to have a boyfriend” gave me anxiety and an awkwardness around boys that continued when I got older. It also cut off vulnerability to my parents. I’d never talk to my parents or mom about sex or boys as a teenager and that’s followed into adulthood. It made it something “awkward” and “embarrassing”. Vs natural and comfortable. I let my kids have those little kid relationships that they call boyfriend/girlfriend. I explain things that are age appropriate and will continue to do so. And that includes teen years with open communication about sex. It will happen. It’s more important for them to be safe, protected and comfortable doing it than it is to keep them from it. I actually find it weird when parents try to hold onto their kids virginity or keeping them from natural things like finding others attractive or their first experiences at “dating”, “love” and “intimacy”. Those early “dating” games are still a learning experience. That you’re robbing your kids from having. You’re making them awkward, anxious, sneaky and uncomfortable. That’s it. The only reason I don’t want my kids dating is because I know that those experiences can be a painful and sad time and having my kids go through heartbreak or putting their happiness and focus into someone hurts my heart. But it’s a healthy part of life. You’re not disconnecting her from boys. You’re disconnecting her from you. You can start with “I know you have a boyfriend, you don’t have to hide it I’ve gained some clarity and remember what it was like being 16. So whats he like? Are you happy? Are you safe? How does he treat you?” Would you like my help with anything like protection?" 
Ijs. 
1 Like
My mom was super strict I couldn’t even go out with girl friends and I wasn’t a bad kid. She was just so afraid I would do the things she did (she had me at 16) but I was not “active” at that age. Anyways her strict rules and making me do chores all the time like I was the homes housekeeper and cook and taking care of my brother I finally came to a breaking point and I moved out when I was 17. Living on the streets was better than living with my mom where I had no control over my life. Don’t be my mom.
2 Likes
She’s 16. I understand it’s a house rule, but teenagers know everything at the ripe old age of 16! 
Seriously though, maybe your family should sit down and compromise a new list of rules. From personal experience, acceptance of things like this goes way smoother than trying to force them not to see each other. Maybe let them hang out at the house(your house)in the living room and kitchen only that way you can keep eyes on them and you’re comfortable while also allowing her to learn responsibility, respect, integrity, and understanding when it comes to all relationships… I would just be so heartbroken if there was strife in the family over something that she will find away to get around… Parenting is hard, and we all have our own styles, but acceptance, empathy, understanding, and love are the basis to parenting. Show her that she’s a growing l, developing young lady, but she’s still got a lot to learn. You clearly want what’s best for her, you’re her parent, you know her better than just about anyone else, find a way to connect with her and talk through it. 
🩷:yellow_heart:
2 Likes
My 13 year old has a bf. I met him. Met his parents. Some of his family. She tells me EVERYTHING!! Bc she even admitted herself. If I said “no” she’s gonna do it anyways. Sneak around. Not tell me anything. Which includes not being safe(like sneaking out)
You have to let her life her life. She’s gonna end up pregnant or in a horrible situation and not tell you. Or when she 18, she’s gone and she won’t care to speak to u.
Let her have a bf. It really isn’t a huge deal. Lol we all did worse at 16. If she is being responsible and good grades helpful around the house it isn’t a huge deal.
It’s pretty easy to see why…… What do you do about this? You lighten up and let your kid live a little. 16 is a completely reasonable age to date. What happens when Prom rolls around? They have to go alone because there’s a rule against dating?? It’s part of the high school experience, don’t ruin it for them. Just be supportive and make sure you cover your bases with the sex talk. The more you restrict, the more they will hide from you
So you have a rule that basically mandates that your child ignores what is natural? The attraction to another human being? One that obviously you yourself did not ignore because you apparently dated someone and had a child. This is stupid. Your kid is human just like you. Allow her to be normal and stop isolating her from you. She will have a boyfriend whether you approve or not unless you lock her in the basement. Communicate your worries concerning the issue to her and have rules in place to ensure her safety.
Well, she is 16! Clearly you don’t have a good relationship because she went behind your back. She will be 18 and a legal adult in 2 years and it is your job as a parent to help her navigate this moment in time. And if you are banning her from dating, then she will never learn how to go about navigating a romantic relationship. And when she is 18, she will end up leaving your house and getting into horrid relationships because she don’t know what a good one is. Use your head. She is old enough to date. She is old enough to drive and put her life in danger! Help her be aware of how she should be treated! And what is right and wrong. Duh
4 Likes
OMG she’s 16 as if she going to listen to you and abide by you rules at that age, you are definitely too strict, you are going to lose her if you keep this up, if I was you I would be more worried about an unwanted pregnancy cause apparently you haven’t got a close relationship with your daughter, so get with her and start discussing things with her and you will both benefit from it 
3 Likes
This is hilarious. My parents did the same. And then wondered why it was a challenge for me to have a prom date. 16 is a normal dating age. Don’t have arbitrary rules just to show control. It encourages sneaking. Talk WITH your kid.
4 Likes
She went behind your back because you won’t give. She’s 16, you gotta let her grow up some time. The more you say no the more she will hide behind your back. Maybe if you could sit down and find compromise, you could work on trusting each other.
4 Likes
Overly strict parenting causes lies and sneakiness.
I grew up in a very religious home. My parents told me I wasn’t allowed to date, I wasn’t allowed to go to certain places bc my parents didn’t like it. It got to the point where I was rebelling. This is what happens when you have strict rules in the home. Your daughter is rebelling against you, bc of those rules.
1 Like
Mama you might as well get ready she is 16 they think they grown anyway and their not.Let her know you don’t approve of her having a boyfriend most likely she will listen but good luck with that,set some rules just pray she doesn’t go out there and get pregnant at 16 sit her down talk to her
At 16 they should be able to date. You’re going to cause your child to hate you and as soon as their 18 they’ll leave with a guy for the wrong reasons
Telling a 16 year old they “aren’t allowed” to date is essentially like telling them to turn off their feelings and just not have any until you decide they can. Good luck enforcing it! She hid it from you because she knows you don’t want her dating, but she did it anyways because 16 year olds dating is basically as natural as breathing. Unclench and relax.
ETA: Being a parent is NOT about controlling your children’s lives and what choices they make. It’s about giving them the information and knowledge they need to make good choices, and then being there to support, comfort, and help them figure out how to fix their mistakes when they make 'em. That’s it. They are human beings, not your personal possessions. 
1 Like
Are you kidding me… 16 is the time Most teenagers are dating. She’s now less than 2 years from being 18 and able to leave home. So if you’re that closed minded, she’s going to cut you off completely from her personal life. You can’t stop a 16 year old from having a mind of their own already. Talk to her as a Mother and a friend and educate her with some Birth control.
1 Like
You creating rules such as no dating at 16 is creating a sneaky teenager. I’d lighten up a little before she resents you .
Strict parents create sneaky kids. I know because I was one lol I lost my virginity at 14 lmao Be honest with your self and your kids. Tell her the risks of dating and sex but also remember that she’s growing up.
I’m 50. My mom had the same rule and I was sneaking out and doing “adult” things at 14. I gave my kids facts! My daughter is 31 my son is 24. I shared with them the obligations of acting like an adult…… pregnancy, STD’s, assaults…. Etc. I explained that I couldn’t control their choices however their choices always came with consequences. (Newton’s third law) the universe levels itself. God, universe, nature…… regardless of belief system the universe levels itself. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. I taught them love, respect and that they could tell me anything openly and we would figure it out. Drawing really hard lines with no communication makes them not talk to you. My two cents.
I knew a girl whos parents wouldn’t let her date til she was 18. By 14 she was having sex and by 16 she was pregnant 
by being strict you are creating an environment where she feels she needs to lie and deceive you so she can feel some freedom. I don’t know why the rule is set in place but it might be time to sit and have a discussion with your daughter about dating. Don’t be the only one who talks and don’t make it a “my way or no way”
She’s a teenager, you can’t stop her from wanting to have a boyfriend, like most everyone else! My mom said the same thing and I didn’t care, I went behind her back and ended up dating an 18 year old. Some of the best memories of my life were when I was her age!!!
Your daughter is allowed to date period…You’re not allowed to intervene and make decisions in her life. Let her live Her own life and make her OWN decisions!!!
That won’t be the only thing she hides from you if you don’t lighten up. My parents were strict too. I kept lying about where I was, who I was with, what I was doing and I ended up pregnant in high school
I learned the strict rules make kids rebel. So maybe instead of no dating. Bring him to meet the parents. Or invite him to go out to dinner and get to know him. At the same time when you meet him scare the crap out of him to treat your kid like she’s the only one and no one matters. Also have the sex talk with your kid. Condoms. Stds. Pregnancy. All the good stuff. I watched videos on stds in health class I didn’t want to have sex ever.
You want the kid to trust you and come to you with things and feel safe. You don’t want your kid to be afraid to come to you and sneak around. You can still get your way but also gain the trust from kid.
I discourage dating and girlfriends in my house. I wasn’t happy to hear my 15yr old decided he needed a girlfriend. I allowed it enough to let her come over until they wouldn’t listen to the door open and not under blankets rule. They aren’t together of course for quite a few months and this girls mother called me just learning her daughter lost her virginity to my boy. She was very angry but I have a text and remember a phone call I had with this woman about their behavior and she tried to tell me her and her daughter have no secrets. Lol right. My son lost his virginity too and she’s on the phone telling me she’s going to press charges. Trying to tell me I’m racist or and stuff. Unfortunately I just let her rant. Now there’s a cease and desist at the school but that’s it. Oh it’s not fun. But my son at least told me about it because I didn’t forbide anything and was real about why I was doing things the way I was. His experience with this girl has made him hesitant to get another girlfriend. Not that he doesn’t talk to girls and he has tried to make a date with a girl in another ton that fell through. But all you can do is let her know your concerns, ask her to practice safe relations and be there for your child. It’s not fun by no means as a parent but like many have said here that forbidding something like this isn’t going to end well.
Stop having strict ridiculous rules. It’s natural to seek out love and affection from those outside your family. 16 is not a baby and you are being controlling. She is her own person. She shouldn’t have to hide normal life from you.
Maybe let her date bro. Why are you trying to dictate her entire life?? Let her branch out maybe you could chaperone if that makes you more comfortable
16 is not too young to date…I starts dating my hubby when I was 16 and he was 18…we married 4 years later…my Mom invited him over lots so she could get to know him…good luck 
Lighten up. Rules like this will only push her away & seriously damage your relationship. Cuz guess what she’s gonna do it anyway! The more strict you are the more she’s going to sneak around. This is exactly how you end up with a teen pregnancy & rebellious kid & one that feels she can’t go to you when she needs to.
1 Like
Of course she went behind your back.
When you have ridiculous rules, kids won’t trust you to express themselves to you and go elsewhere.
Maybe loosen up.
16? Not babies. Tell her she can have him over or go on dates to public places where you drop off and pickup. If it becomes serious, ask to talk to his parents and see what you can do to encourage healthy boundaries.
1 Like
16 is Deff old enough to be dating. The fact you have this rule is why she didn’t tell you. Instead if you would have made it an acceptable environment she would have told you and been excited to do so.
Having strict rules is gonna make kids wanna rebel. I had the strictest mom out of all my friends and i was constantly sneaking out and fighting with her. I promised myself that when i had kids i wouldn’t be that. I found out my daughter had a boyfriend and didn’t pressure her into talking about it bc she didn’t know how to feel bc it’s new for her. I told her when she’s ready to talk about it or if she had any questions I’ll be ready to listen. Our only thing is her grades don’t get affected.
My parents were very strict growing up regarding the same things. I ended up moving out when I was 15 because I was convinced they hated me and were out to get me, then wound up pregnant at 16. Just support her. If she wants to have a bf, I feel like 16 is a good age just discuss safe sex, birth control, etc
Good luck with that. Your going to make her sneak around more if your that strict. I was one of those teens who had a very strict father and it don’t work. I became more rebellious.
Those strict rules you have are exactly why you’re 16-year-old is going behind your back. I don’t really think there is anything you can do other than teach her the things she needs to know to be safe. At this point if you push any harder and you restrict her anymore than you obviously already do she’s going to hide even more than the boyfriend from you she’s probably hiding even more than you realize now.
Your lucky she waited until 16. If you forbid a teenager they will do it anyway and hide it from you. That’s how teens get pregnant. Better to keep an open line of communication and protecting her with birth control.
1 Like
She’s 16… She’s Going to date no matter what you say. The best thing you could do is have a safe talk with her, and remain a safe space. Because the stricter you are the more sneakier she is going to get, and when that happens you’re going to look back on it and say wow maybe I should have stepped back a little bit.
1 Like
If you want a healthy relationship with your kids - you need healthy boundaries- being this strict isn’t one of them.
Keep going - and you are on the first step to losing her - and her already feeling and showing that she feels she can’t trust you to be open with you.
You’re suppose to teaching them to be healthy independent adults - and this ain’t the way to do it.
It’s your choice - have a relationship where your child feels they can come to you
OR
The current relationship where they feel they have to hide things from you - and sneak and not feel comfortable coming to you.
1 Like
You have to stop being so controlling. I have a 16yo daughter. Her 2 best friends are 16 and both are pregnant because their moms wouldn’t help them with birth control because they said it was a passage to have sex! News flash, they were already having sex and now going to be teen mom’s because their own moms wouldn’t teach them how to be safe from the things they were already doing! Instead they got mad at them and put more restrictions on them. Now those moms are going to be grandparents. What you should be doing is talking openly with your daughter about safe sex, her right to say no, contraceptives, stds, and the consequences of not having safe sex, if they decide to go there. 16 is a perfectly respectable age to start dating, and it works even better if they have supportive parents who they feel comfortable talking to about these things.
I met my boyfriend at 15 and we have been together since. We are 23 now and have one daughter. Weird rule.
She’s 16… I think being super strict will only make her want to rebel because I did and did a lot of things behind my moms back and because I was too afraid of her at the same time lot of things actually happened in my life but because she was they way she was I never chose to tell her either. You can be a parent and at the same time have boundaries and levels of respect go both ways. Just allow her to be open and honest and you do the same you’d be surprised at how well the communication gets with understanding in both sides.
2 Likes
“Strict no dating rule” I see that’s going will for you lol.
Don’t try and control your kids! Teach them about boundaries, healthy relationships, and safe sex. When you start to try and stop these things from happening with your strict rules, that’s when kids rebel and start sneaking around (which your daughter is now already doing). You can’t stop your kid from doing things, they WILL find a way. May as well form that safe environment now or your kid will never feel comfortable telling you anything, and that’s when things get ugly. 16 is a pretty typical age for kids to start developing romantic relationships, be happy for her and support her first love. It’s a beautiful thing really.
That’s why she went behind your back…. This post comes across like you aren’t approachable and she can’t come to you.
The kids I grew up with who had the strictest parents ended up being the worst kids .
In my opinion 16 isn’t too young to be interested in dating, but definitely having rules for said dating.
The more you usually tell kids they can’t do something is when they’ll always find a way to do it.
Maybe find some middle ground.
1 Like
Overly strict parenting leads to rebellious teens, who are doing nothing wrong but following a natural path in life. Instead of thinking of punishment, perhaps take the time to get to know your child… bc clearly you don’t, and she doesn’t feel like she can be honest with you.
I would look into your States laws first. Some are strict 18 yr States. Some aren’t.
If you are in a 18 State, you can speak to the others kids’ parents and explain your rules, file a police report, file a restraining order, ground them etc. I wouldn’t expect that child to actually listen though.
Maybe ask yourself why this is such a absolute rule as well. Family counseling with doctors or your trusted religious leaders etc.
I understand parents not wanting their teens to date. It can be psychologically damaging and all-consuming. Whatever your reasons, fight for your standards and beliefs in a dignified and mutually respectful way. Don’t damage your relationship with your kid.
Not sure if this post could even be real it is so ridiculous, but if so of course she went behind your back you have unreasonable expectations. It’s not just a rule but a “strict rule”. She is old enough to drive, Old enough to get herself emancipated if she shows just cause, She’s already learned everything about sex in school, she surrounded by kids who right or wrong have been dating and having sex for a year or two. But her mommy says she can’t date so she’s gonna fall in line. That’s completely unreasonable. For her sake I hope that she has other adults in her life that treat her her age,and have taught her enough that she does not make horrible decisions.Since she does not have a mother that she can rely on to teach her anything but no you can’t do that.
I have to agree with people telling you to lighten up,let her date,get to know this young man, she will be rebel if the rules continue,etc,etc. please update us in a bit and let us know what you decided and how things are going. It’s hard,Mama, but you do get through it.
Ngl, this is how you wind up with teen pregnancy, of she can’t trust you enough to mention she has a boyfriend what makes you think she can trust you enough to tell you if they become sexually active and to take the right steps for protection? If she expects you to be upset she WONT come to you about anything that’s happening in her relationship, and if you “forbid” the relationship it’ll just make her to want to do it even more. Trust me I should know
1 Like
Have the boy over your house to meet him. Invite him to dinner. Get to know him.Let them watch a movie together while you are in another room. 16 not too young to start dating. If your rules are too strict she will rebel. You may not be comfortable with this but if you don’t make some sort of effort she will find a way to see him.
1 Like
Honestly I would talk to her about lying. Then I would relax the dating rule cause you are teaching your kid to just be sneakier and to lie more.
Is she home schooled? If not at any school public or private school there’s a lot of social activities. Dances ,sports , field trips, student council. Lots of female/ male interaction. If you take away the innocent stuff that naturally happens there she may make it dark.
Yeah because she’s 16. She’s testing limits and try to establish independence. Also why is there a strict no dating rule? If you raise them right and teach the to respect themselves and protect themselves then you should be able to trust them. This is apart of growing up. The stricter the rules are the sneakier she will become. Trust me I raised 3 girls. I made a lot of mistakes with my oldest daughter and being overly protective and strict was one. It became a power struggle. Invite the young man over. Sit them down and have a talk with them about safe and healthy relationships. Have reasonable expectations but also talk about boundaries. And the sex talk and maybe the need for birth control. As long as she keeps up with her educational responsibilities then she should be allowed a social life. The more trust and independence(with limits of course) you give her the more open and honest she will be.
What is your rule exactly??
Let your 16 year old date or don’t be surprised at what else they’ll hide from you.
My dad had told me when I first became a teenager that I could date when I turned 16, but for some reason changed his mind when I did turn 16 and wanted to date a certain boy. You know what? This only made me want to do it more and I became a very rebellious teen. I got pregnant at 18 (I’m very surprised it wasn’t sooner) and married that same boy at 19. We’re still together to this day, but what I’m saying is if you don’t pick your battles now and at least be willing to compromise on some things, you’re only going to make the situation worse and she will end up rebelling.
We arent allowing our 11 yo to date, yet.
16 is an age where being strict isn’t tremendous effective. There are certain areas you can/needs be strict (like if you use a phone while driving, the keys get taken) but the parent choosing to just say no instead of exploring why the teen thinks they are ready for this step and meeting them half way, coming up with a safety plan… 100% that teen will end up in a situation that they need to call Mom or Dad to get out of but they would rather get graped than get in trouble and/or run away to be with that person in which case you will have zero say. Choose your hard. IMO, it’s better to have some relationships while still in the home so you can help guide them and be there for the bumps but only you know why not dating is such a big concern for your family 
Please let your daughter date. There’s safe ways to do it. There’s conversations you can have. If you’re too strict, especially as she’s only 2 years away from adulthood, you can make her rebel & her go buck wild & put a wedge on yours & your daughters bond & relationship. Lighten up please. 
Super strict parents create good liars. If you trust her, give her room to show that she can be trusted. If she violates the trust, give consequences (for example-making curfew). Meet her BF and get to know him. Talk to his parents.
That’s the problem right there…… she didn’t feel comfortable enough to come and tell you.
I suggest having a more open communication with your children before it just gets worse and she hides even more from you. Unfortunately teenagers have feelings too, as much as we try to pretend they don’t.
I wonder why she hid it. 
At 16, you’re not being realistic. How about embrace it, LISTEN and learn. Talk to her and use it as a teaching lesson. You want to wait until she 20 and start? The world will eat her alive atp.
Light up… I grew up in a strict house…
I lied, snuck out all of it… Just be open and honest and educate her…
Let her live, let her be a teenager. Have the conversations, make sure she’s making good decisions. I have an 18 year old and and I would love if she had a bf/gf! I feel like she’s missing out on so much! Remember how exciting everything was as a teenager?
Ah man I ain’t ready for that either but my girl hasn’t even been born yet so I don’t really have advice. Who knows what she has been doing behind your back. I would def get her on bc asap though.
Get to know the boy and let her have a boyfriend? She’s almost grown. The train has left the station. Time to set some new rules more appropriate for a young woman than a child.
 No dating is a good rule. But it’s a tough rule I always encourage my kids not to date till they’re older but no dating isn’t my rule because I don’t want them to feel like they have to hide anything from me. But now that you know you can talk to her about it and make sure it doesn’t get inappropriate who knows it could just be a fling and end in a couple weeks then you’ll have nothing to worry about 
She 16 she going to date with or without your permission dating is a normal part of growing up the fact u did a no dating rule is the reason she didn’t tell you or feel she couldn’t come to you… your daughter should be able to talk to u about her school life friends boyfriends and yes when she is ready for sex it’s all part of her journey to grow from child to teen to woman
How about invite him over get to know him etc he might b3 a lovely guy etc your daughter happiness is the important factor in this not your rules especially as 16 she old enough to leave your house and you can’t do nothing about it time you treat her the age is not like a child
She hid this from you because by being restrictive about not dating at 16 you aren’t giving her a safe place to talk to you. She’s 16 and the more restrictive you are, the more she’s gonna sneak around and the less safe and smart she is going to be in the event that she decides to do the deed. You should lighten up and have conversations about healthy relationships and safe sex rather than forbidding a 16 year old from doing what teens do. That’s crazy
Rules that are too strict make for kids who are more rebellious. Parents can set rules, but cannot actually enforce total control over their kids, even though some think that they can. We consider ourselves to be strict parents that don’t play around when it comes to our kids. They know what is and isn’t allowed, and they know how to respect themselves and others, but we also allow them to have lives and make mistakes and learn. My oldest is a more mature and responsible adult at 20 than I was.
At 16 they will rebel if you put your foot down harder. Give your teenager the talk, a safe sex talk also and explain to her about absolutely everything even dv if needs be. My mum had the same rules until I met my first ex. I wish that she’d of clamped down, and hadn’t encouraged it. But I had never been interested in dating etc previously. I told her to begin with its just a crush, it’ll go, that I didn’t feel ready. But I think her mental health nit being great at the time made her encourage everything instead of protecting me. Don’t get me wrong I’m glad i had my kids, but the relationship was traumatic and took me a very long time to get out off. It was abusive, he cheated with a mutual friend, had lied about his age at the beginning to even my parent’s, it led to the worst day of my life in 2008 Support her, but have a time she has to be home by, her bedroom door needs to be open when he’s around etc. And keep a good eye on her, her behavior, attitude, any changes etc. Because we need to protect our kids from going through the same things we did etc.
Instead of keeping her from dating talk to her explain why you felt the need to have that rule (not just the because I said so or I want you focused on school) kids at that age need to learn how to navigate relationships. In 2-3 years she will be an adult legally and will be thrown into life and won’t have a clue how to set boundaries with in relationships or even what a healthy relationship is and won’t feel confident in going to you for advice due to the no dating rule set in place. I get that it’s hard seeing your kids grow up and make choices that you don’t agree with but that’s part of life there will never be a time when you both agree on every part of the choices they make why not teach them how to evaluate situations and make choices based more on facts that emotions. That way they are making informed educated decisions rather than on impulse. Why not teach her how to be in a healthy relationship. Take the opportunity to create a safe space where she can get advice. Help her learn what red flags are and green flags. Help her learn what she wants or doesn’t want in her relationships.
I also had that same strict rule as a teenager among other strict rules and I ended up pregnant at 17 because I was being rebellious. Yes kids need rules but not such strict rules that they feel they need to hide things from their parents. They need to be guided and taught these things and how to have a healthy relationship at this age while you’re there to help them. There also needs to be trust among parents and children and it seems there isn’t any trust on your part given the fact you forbid her from having a boyfriend. Believe it or not some teenagers are smarter than you think.
I’ve always wondered why parents will not let their 16-17 year olds date…
These kinds of strict rules typically ends with teens pushing their parents away and the moment they are old enough, they will take the first opportunity to leave. It also ends up with no real connections between parent and child later in life. Resentment will always be a huge factor in your relationship with each other.
At 16 you’re going to be driving soon and she can’t date oh boy. Good luck. Strict parents get sticky children.
A strict no dating rule for a 16 year old? Get a grip.
She hid it because of your “strict rule.” Question yourself on why the rule is in place? I don’t tell my children no unless I have a valid reason. Because I said so, is not a reason. I have 2 extremely well behaved children and I can trust they can make the right choices, or if they need help, they’ll come to me first.
Well you could either buckle down and she’ll end up pregnant and not living with you by 17. Or you can loosen the reigns and still have contact with her when she moves out at a reasonable age.
If you can get past her having a bf then make sure she’s on birth control so there isn’t any babies. That’s what I would do. I mean I’d rather my daughter not have a boyfriend but if she’s going to continue seeing him, make sure she’s protected and he’s doing the same.
You change your rules and accept that in two short years? Your daughter is going to leave home and be on her own. Teach her about boundaries and safe and healthy relationships instead.
Absolutely nothing good will come from “forbidding” her to date.
16 is pretty standard for starting to explore intimate and romantic relationships. Prohibiting it will just make her a good liar and not feel comfortable talking to you when things do happen. Best to have the conversation about sex and contraceptives, just in case. You cannot keep her a little girl for forever. Nature will have her way, always.
Allow him as a friend. Dating at that age is absurd and ridiculous. She has a friend. Treat him like a friend. Do not allow them together at his house, strict limit of he goes home before dinner, no phones all night back and forth, absolutely no time alone, supervised at all times together, no hugging/kissing/touching.
This should have been a conversation all along, so she has him now it’s too late. Just downshift the whole situation and it’s “importance” and don’t allow any together time.
I would rather have an open relationship with my teen instead of them hiding everything from me. That way I can help them navigate through their decisions and make better choices. ( Mom of Five)
1 Like
I would go behind your back as well. Let your kids date, let them be open with you.
2 Likes
I’m going to tell you it straight. Regardless of what you want they’re going to do what they want. Only it’ll be without you knowing 
She damn near an adult and you’ll be LUCKY if she doesn’t go full out of control. Or you don’t lose her as soon as she comes of age.