Love is blind !..and apparently also deaf !..amazes me people think they deserve so little 
Had exact same story found out more and more crap each phone search. Run.
If he said leave that basically says he doesnāt want you hun. Itās hard to believe but trust me when you leave a narcissist, you feel so much more liberated and much more like yourself x
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Just donāt get knocked up by him!!!..if you plan on staying, cuz it would be a Great Mistakeā¦cuz he wouldnāt be there for youā¦or another option Leave him
Read up on narcissistic behavior.
ā He told me he was a selfish person, and still is to an extent. He said he didnāt really consider us serious until the end of summer 2018ā āBecause heās still telling me I deserve better and should leaveā āBut he is kinda narcissistic, so it makes sense, I supposeā- Run run run RUN RUN. Narcās will DESTROY you in the end
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if you donāt trust him, leave him, Why are you asking others for what you should do with your life??? This is your life, either trust him or not. Plain & simple.
When they say they donāt deserve you but they want you, leave. Find someone who you can be on the same page with from the get go. Donāt let the little moments that confuse you keep you there.
If he is telling you, that you deserve better and you should leave.
He isnāt being truly honest with you. He is holding something back.
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Hmmmmā¦well the fact that you feel the need to go through his phoneā¦ pretty much says it all. And if you are insecure just because you are an insecure personā¦ maybe you should figure out how to get secure. If you are insecure because of the way he is in the relationshipā¦ you should leaveā¦ he isnt going to change.
He left his old phone for you to go thru it, maybe itās time for you to move on. If he make you feel insecure youāre wasting time with him.
What about therapy? How old are you guys? I have found that younger insecure men will act in such ways. I missed part of it im sure. Was any of it physical?
Heās a narcissist, heās telling you to leave and that you deserve better so do better and leave. Heās making himself the victim. Do some research on narcissistic relationships. They donāt end well.
If you donāt trust him you donāt need him.
You shouldnāt have even looked in his phone in the first place. Then it was that long ago?.. Heās basically telling you he wonāt completely change so just leave him you donāt want to but you want an explanation and he gave you oneā¦ He didnāt consider yall as dating. Iām not understanding what more youāre wanting.
You probably should do what your head is telling you to do. Iām sure you know that this wonāt be a happy situation for you . Him saying you deserve better and leave is his way of telling you are not all that special to him. People like him donāt have the decency of just telling you how he feels or wants. Donāt mean to sound harsh but heās just not that much into you. If he was he would beg you to stay. Cut your losses and move on donāt waste another minute on someone that just canāt tell you the truth
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I stopped reading after she said she wasnāt leaving-bye
Thatās hurtful, but ultimately the decision is yours no matter what anyone here says. If you can forgive him and you love him enough AND he feels remorse and he loves you, go for it. If not, leave the relationship on decent terms and call it quits while itās not nasty.
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If you want my opinion nothing good comes from any relationship dealing with a narcissistic person. Iām sorry to be blunt but it is probably to your best interest that you part ways now and try to end it on a good note.
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Run and never look back. You DO deserve better!!! From a psychological point of view, heās telling you that you can do better solely b/c of what heās doing behind your back. Think of this, he has many secrets, you probably discovered maybe 5% of them leaving 95% you havenāt discovered.
As a narcissist, the attention you provide him, no matter how much, will NEVER, and I mean NEVER be enough and he WILL seek added attention else where.
YOU DESERVE BETTER!
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I loved a narcisst in fact I still do but it took 4 years after a very painful departure to realize that nothing was what it seemed. If he is a narcisst, supply for their egos is whatās important and the cheating just comes naturally for them. Iām sorry but my opinion is to run as fast as you can in the other direction. Breaking up with a narcisst leaves devastating scars the longer you stay.
A narcissist will provoke you to cause a response so they can then turn it around and blame it all on you.
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Sounds like he is trying to do right by you if he stopped once he realized yāall were going to be together. If heās a good guy and heās trying why not leave the past in the past.
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Iād leave. He showed, and told, you his true colors. This will forever haunt you and cause resentment to be laced through everything moving forward whether you intend for it to or not. You canāt excuse it away.
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In my opinion, he told you what it is. You canāt keep a person who doesnāt want to be kept. Who tells you ā You should leaveā? After that whatever he dishes out he already told you and heāll say itās your fault for staying. Which it would be.
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In my honest opinion if he is saying that you deserve better and that you should leave then it seems like heās saying that he wants to end the relationship just doesnāt want to be the one to do it.
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Stop being so damn insecure, if you look youāre gonna find so be prepared
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What Iāve learned from guys that say, āYou deserve better. Leave me. Iām horribleā etc, are awful people that are seriously trying to turn tables and make you feel bad and reassure THEM that they are WORTHY OF YOU! And if heās that quick to jump on the āletās break up trainā as is, then do it. Not trying to sound harsh or anything, Iāve been there and hearing/reading these kinds of things always hurts because I was once in your shoes love 
you DO deserve better.
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Leave. If he says you should leave you should. And he also said we was still selfish. He hasnt stoped. Leave.
Leave!!! Iāve been there all to wellā¦it will get worse! Once a cheater always one in my book but save yourself some heartache and leave him!
Is that a deal breaker for you? If so, then say goodbye.
If you have to look, thereās already a problem.
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You really need to look up the definition of narcissism ijs
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He doesnāt want the relationship anymore i seen this a hundred times before they want out but will only put up a fight due to them being a narcissis Just have to say your piece then leave if not he WILL do it again some people just canāt handle a one person relationship they need more
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Go and donāt look back. If he says leaveā¦he wants you too but he donāt want be the bad guy. Once a cheater, always a cheater. I learned the hard way. Listen to the facts
I would leave u can find better
Wow thatās a tough one. My opinion when they cheat with other women thereās something going on inside himself. Itās not something they can just quit. This is something youāll have to decide in your heart if you want to keep trusting him that heās stopped and wonāt ever do it again. Itās real hard to decide something like that. Iām sure theyāre are some men that can quit cheating but in my personal experience they donāt stop cheating until they are ready. It doesnāt matter how much you love him if heās not ready, heās not ready. The girl working with him would make me insecure too. I wouldnāt be able to deal with that. Because he could still be cheating just be better at hiding it. You just never know until you know.
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When people tell you who they areā¦believe them. When people show you who they areā¦believe them.
Heās trying to warn you. If you choose to stay, then from here going forward just know that you chose this !! Did you ever wonder why or ask why his other relationships ended? You say that you are insecure. Do you really believe that this relationship is a good fit for you?
The problem with this is thereās no need to leave if your heart isnāt ready to let go because you will only continue to run back to him. You have to ask yourself, if you really believe that he stopped cheating? Could it be that you just havenāt caught him recently?
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Bail. It will never turn out well. Heās a douche, through and through. Those types never change. Heās probably guilty about something now, by the sounds of it.
He is a narcissist. They have no remorse. He is trying to make himself the victim. Iād leave. You deserve better.