Just need to vent or maybe needing advice. So me and my guy have been together for a little over two years. I love him more than anything he has treated me better than any man ever has and has loved me unconditionally. I’ve never had a reason not to trust him. Well…. I had a feeling in my gut to look in his phone (which I rarely do) well found he has been talking to two girls that he knows and has been hiding it for a few weeks now. I know he hasn’t physically been with anyone else but I still consider this cheating in a way. We do have children none together but mine do call him daddy bc he’s been here for them as a father. I never in a million years would’ve thought he would do something like this to me. He has admitted it was bc he liked the attention but that’s as far as it went. I’ve never found him talking to anybody inappropriately before this. I’m in shock and hurt more than anything because he knows what I’ve been through and has been so different from all the others. What would any of y’all do in this situation? I don’t want him to think I’m just gonna forgive him and everything just be back to normal because obviously it’s not going to be for a while but I don’t want to lose what we have built together. I know he loves me but at the same time I don’t understand how you can hurt someone if you love them. And on top of it all the girls knew he was in a relationship but still approached him with the messages.
First and foremost, I’m so sorry you’re hurting. That pain sucks, believe me I know. Secondly, that isn’t love. I’m not saying he doesn’t care for you, maybe a great deal, but you don’t hurt and disrespect someone you love, no matter how much “attention” you think you need. He was talking to not one but TWO women behind your back, despite your great relationship, despite the fact that you have built a life and family together (whether biological or not). By talking to those women, he knew there was a chance you’d find out. He knew there was a chance that he’d lose you and your kids and he did it anyway. That tells you everything you need to know. You deserve better, girl. Your kids deserve better. He can treat you like a Queen all day every day but if he’s this comfortable disrespecting you and risking hurting you, he doesn’t really love you. He made his choice and now it’s time for you to make yours.
When people show you who they are…believe them.
Love doesn’t hide things or people.
LEAVE! Honestly, he doesn’t truly love you, I’m sorry to say.
Also, this is the beginning of the end anyway, he will not stop and I’ll put $100 on that bet.
So what if they did approach him, what’s that got to do with the price of eggs??? He responded!
He owes you loyalty and faithfulness not them. That’s also probably a lie too by the way.
If you stay…good luck you’ll need it.
Girl, as painful and disappointing as it is, once that trust is gone, so is the relationship. …
If you meant the world to him, he wouldn’t even notice them.
It’s painful and heart shattering but save yourself anymore heartache and let him go.
I’ve been in this situation and it never got better after the trust was broken. Every time his phone goes off you’re gonna wonder if it’s another girl. Best to get out now before you put yourself through all the turmoil and heartache to come.
You should decide if you wanna build a foundation- either forgive and move on or start over. Everyone handles things differently, but you need to figure out what you’re comfortable with. If he likes the attention, ask him what it is that you aren’t doing that he wants. Also use this as a platform to think if you’re being fulfilled in the relationship and if not, ask for some change.
Been there. … it will never be the same in your eyes. Trust is gone
Counseling and talk it out. Safe place to vent. And express feelings. Need to rebuild trust
It’s easy to be in love and seek attention elsewhere coz you’re not getting it from the one person u so desire it from. It’s when the talking turns to an emotional connection it can get dangerous.
I know this is not your fault, at the end of the day every action has a reaction and we as adults are all responsible for our own actions. But maybe sit hik down and ask him what he needs from you so this doesn’t happen again? And also let him know you won’t tolerate this behaviour again. I get wanting to not throw away what you have built
Honestly, I would leave. If they do it once, they will do it again. If he truly 100% loved you, he would never consider breaking you or your heart in that way. Trust is important and once it’s broken, it cannot be fixed.
Love doesn’t seek attention from others.
Is there a site for “Lovers Uncut” instead of going to “Mamas Uncut”?
An emotional affair is still an affair.
That’s not unconditional love…LEAVE That’s his true colors showing.
If he loved you unconditionally like you said, he wouldn’t be talking to other girls.
I know it sucks but Those girls aren’t the problem he is. Doesn’t matter that they knew he was with you, he didn’t tell them no and he then crossed a boundary he shouldn’t. Take time to really think about what it means to forgive him and how you can move forward if you want but if you can’t get past it you should leave now. It is torture wondering if he may be cheating again and not being able to trust. You will drive yourself crazy
it’s okay to be upset with the girls, but don’t focus on them cause he’s the one who was supposed to be faithful not them. There will always be people who know he’s in a relationship but try anyway, It’s his job to ignore them and not give them the opening to start something.
If you still want to be with him after this, then do so but y’all need to sit down and discuss boundaries and he needs to know how he’s hurt you and y’all need to discuss consequences should this happen again.
If you don’t want to stay with him, then he should understand why, cause i bet you if you’d done what he did, he’d be leaving you. Most cheaters can’t take what the dish out.
How inappropriate was the conversation , if it was just harmless flirting , get over it omg , if he has not met up with them , or physically cheated , Its called having a friend other then you , just because your in a relationship with a person you do not own them , they have a right to talk to other people weather it be male or female , I don’t consider talking cheating , that’s just. Bull shit. I have been married 21 years, I talk to other men, my husband talks to other woman, . Honestly if you expect , the person your with never to talk to anybody else , your crazy . If you don’t have trust in a relationship , you have nothing , so give it up. A little harmless fitting is ok , every now and then . Even if married you don’t own that person. Talking is not cheating. I’m sure your not innocent . And obviously the girls know he’s taken , did he tell them different, so it’s just as much him as them . He admitted he likes the attention , , just as long as nothing physical happens let them talk omg your ridiculous
If the girls still approached and continued it’s because he told them you 2 aren’t serious and that they have a chance. He owes you trust and loyalty as you are in a relationship, not the other women. The women can’t come into your relationship unless HE opens that door. If he loved you he would not have you in this position in the first place. He has now broken the trust. With me, I’d be out. It’s a red flag. He hasn’t cheated physically yet, however trust was betrayed. If the opportunity came up could you be sure he wouldn’t take it, especially since he knows them? Nah, that disrespect and sneakiness would linger in my mind too much. Would second guess everything and would drive me crazy.
Try counseling first. It’ll help get the truth out & give you tools to move on from here no matter what you both decide to do.
Nope! Don’t blame then girls here! It’s all on your man! He chose how to play on this one. Now it’s time to learn his lesson! 
a nice high 5 to his face and send him packing!!
They will keep doing it been there done that no worth it …its disrespectful and it is cheating
LEAVE…if it bothers you enough to haunt your thoughts then leave
I’m not reading all that. They’re not his kids, count yourself lucky for that. He absolutely would have physically cheated and will definitely bleep at least one of them in the near future. Dump. Him.
Editing to add: him liking the attention is an excuse. That’s the same as a man saying they cheated because their wife hasn’t been feeling frisky. Sure it’s a bit of a spectrum but it amounts to the same which is cheating. He will do it again. He will do it physically. Ask me how I know.
If he could talk to other girls in a type of way that hurts you, then I’m sorry no he doesn’t love you. Well he may love you yes, but he isn’t in love w you. He isn’t 100% in the relationship period there’s something he isn’t sure about or he’s just a pos.
I stopped reading at “My BOYFRIEND is talking to two other girls”. He’s not YOUR boyfriend if he’s doing that. He’s an immature, insecure little b!ch. Your fake relationship is over & cannot be fixed at this point, so let it go.
Obviously he isn’t with you if he’s entertaining other women. Why on earth would your kids call some dude you only known for a couple years daddy? Run that past your individual therapist. Wildly unhealthy dynamic there. Resolve your codependency and develop some standards.
Do what makes YOU happy. Everyone’s gonna say leave 
all of this depends on age. And so many other factors. I did this dumb shit when me and my husband first got together. I was young and dumb. We forgave each other for our ignorance and have one the strongest relationships I know of.
You teach people how to treat you so if you allow him to get away with this it won’t be the last time. Real love doesn’t hurt and it most definately doesn’t cheat.
Men like this are garbage-basura
Why are you asking us,?you’re a grown woman and have a mind of your own
Treating you better with “unconditional” love DOES NOT INVOLVE CHEATING 
Look for trouble you’ll find it. Not the girls fault.
Leave before you’re impregnated and stick with him
Run dont walk out the door .
Girl…you have proof. Why stay with him? You deserve a guy who isn’t going to cheat on you.
He doesn’t love you if he did this. WhT you guys have built to this point he’s destroyed by doing this. It smashes that foundation. Leave. You deserve better
What kind of attention does he want? If he’s doing this after just a couple of years he will continue with it. If trust is gone everything is gone. Say goodbye and you and your kids lead a happy life
Hun, time to move on. Him talking to other women has nothing to do with you.
You mentioned the “girls approached him anyway” but it’s not them who are obligated to you, it’s him. He agreed to be in a relationship and share this life with you, they are irrelevant. If the roles were reversed, how would he feel? You should have a conversation like this with him and determine how you both would like to proceed.
I think you are a bit of a control freak !
He was getting his ego stroked, next it will be his ding dong
Whatever you do,take care of your kids
They have been directly effected by choices you’ve made for yourself