Kick him out. Your finances are hurting probably because he is giving money to this other woman. After you kick him out he will be more worried about your finances than hers. Get a good lawyer.
Ship him to the curb and don’t even call him an Uber!!!
If he loved you there wouldn’t be a 2nd woman in the picture. Know your worth. Get some self esteem & throw the whole man in the dumpster.
Being a single mom is tough but you can definitely do it. Routine is important. You know what you want and that’s a divorce. Start saving money now if you can. It’ll help with getting a new place and starting your new life. Good luck xoxo
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They say the happiest family is just you and your kids .
Wow! Have you lost all self respect? Has he emotionally beaten you that far down ? You are hurting yourself and your kids by staying ! Perseverance is everything ! Build yourself up and take his cheating butt to the cleaners !
Does the other women know about you? He should tell her he’s married and just end it.
If you want to divorce……
- contact a bunch of the best lawyers in the area to see what their costs are and what your options are. Contact more than one so he can’t use them.
- DO NOT tell him you are doing this.
- Get all of your ducks in a row without letting him know.
- Find as much proof about the affair as you can and document it bc it may be possible to use this in the Divorce. It may also be possible to sue the other woman for Alienation of affection.
- If other woman is in a relationship let the other betrayed spouse know with the physical evidence you have collected.
- find real people in your life to tell and who can support you emotionally through this
- seek counseling for yourself
People are scared of being a single mom but this shit? This is what I’m scared of. Spending 10 years with someone to just toss it down the drain. Being a single mom is a cake walk compared to spending the rest of your life trying to repair a failed marriage.
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Please don’t stay. I know being a single parent is hard, especially in this economy, but your happiness is genuinely all that matters because your baby will feed off of whatever environment they’re in. He can honestly kick rocks. That’s absolutely horrible and nothing will change, especially if he does it for 2 YEARS and only decides you matter once you find out. That’s a red flag right there.
When you married, you made a covenant with each other to be faithful until death. He has broken that covenant. Obviously your husband still has feelings for this Jezabel since he is not willing to immediately break off the relationship. Even if he did, would you ever be able to trust him again? Only you can answer that question.
I was begged to stay after their choice of cheating… I stayed, things got better for maybe 2 months and then it went back to me being ignored, no affection in any way, he came home late everyday. I was alone with 5 kids most of the time. That happened in 2022. I tried to forgive him but I ended up feeling like I hated him for what he did because we bought a house together after we got engaged, I sold my house and put every penny into the house we called home. I ended up leaving this past November and before I moved completely out of the house he was back talking to the woman (his ex) and a few more ex’s and had them in our home.
I miss what I had but don’t miss how I was treated. We let these men tear us down to where we don’t stay bc we are afraid of leaving and they think we will never leave! Find your love and value for yourself again. Get the courage to leave because you are worth everything you want with someone!
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he don’t stop contact with her because his still seeing her and has zero respect get rid
He doesn’t or he wouldn’t be worried about how to break it off with anyone. He wants his cake and to eat it too and that’s exactly what he’s getting dealt with that exact thing. And when I finally had enough he became violent.
Nope nope…Nopenopenope .
Why gives a flying F what he says? Once he disrespected you his feelings didn’t mean anything anymore
You are dumb AF if you stay. …care about yourself MORE.
Him “needing a plan” to break it off with the other woman should tell you that he has no plan to break it off with the other woman.
I would suggest consulting a lawyer, but you may want to stay in the house. Leaving the house may result in him being awarded the house in the divorce. I would immediately file for separation and any kind of assistance that you can - including child care assistance to get your kids into daycare - and look for work to get your own income coming in.
Check with your local courthouse. The courthouse in my county offers free legal family law advice certain days of the week.
I’m so sorry, but it’s been going on for TWO years they have built up a full on relationship… Drop his 
Lemme tell you something…
An I speak from experience…
People WILL gladly help a single mother, you will be surprised and shocked at the help that becomes available to you be it from the government from the church from people in the community even from the schools! When my daughter was in preschool her teachers without my knowledge pulled together and bought her Xmas gifts and gave me a $100 gift card to a local grocery store I had my first at 18 and had two jobs just to pay.for a one bedroom apt that was almost 18 yrs ago… People would rather help a single mother than a woman with a disrespectful abusive (cheating is abuse) man hanging around. You will be just fine…Also there’s always child support and alimony in your case. Good luck 
Get as much proof as possible!
Sorry but I don’t share and you shouldn’t either. He wants you and her. I would be gone in a heartbeat
He messed up !! Why do you need to move out? Get a lawyer, pack his crap and place it on front porch, send him on his way. Child support, alimony restart your life for you and your kids.
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Go talk to a lawyer and tell
Him if you want me I give you two weeks to break it off. You can stay or go that is up to you but let him know you are talking to a lawyer. For the divorce you can make it to where he pays for your lawyer and spousal
Support if the finances are tough but don’t stay with him bc of financial reasons and make him go to counseling.
Leave because he might have some kind illness by sleeping with her
Contact a divorce lawyer to see what your options are: child support, alimony and custody. The divorce lawyer should be able to make sure you and the kids get to keep the house and make him pay alimony and child support, especially because this divorce is because of infidelity! Find a good woman to represent you! Don’t stop looking till you find a good one because a bad one or someone who doesn’t care about your situation will not give you what you deserve!
I’m so sorry… I feel like alot of women are stuck in unhealthy/unwanted relationships because of this economy and its absolutely devastating… 
It’s either seriously suffer financially by yourself or be with someone who treats you like shit and still probably struggle financially but not as bad…
Im sry but he doesn’t need “a plan” to break it off. That’s 1000000% a excuse to drag it out as long as possible because he wants both u and her. If hes willing to throw away 10 years of marriage over another woman, thats on him. And i can bet u he won’t ever find true happiness with anyone if hes always got his eyes looking for someone else. I can’t give u advice. Because as I read this, i was thinking about what i would do if this happened to me n my husband of 15 years and in all honesty, I really don’t know hpw id handle it, if id have the courage or emotional well-being to leave, ect… but ur husband is putting u in a horrible and painful spot by asking u to be ok with him seeing his mistress until he comes up with this magic plan to break things off. He wants a plan? Heres one "im sorry i kept this going for as long as i did, but I need to show my wife that shes whats important to me so i can hopefully save my marriage. Im a ass and this is now over. Pls do not contact me again " boom. Done. Or just a simple 'we are over. I love my wife and she deserves my loyalty ’ why is that so hard for him? And even if it is hard WHO CARES! He shouldn’t expect u to deal with it because its the easiest way for him. He has put himself first for the passed 2 years, its time he puts YOU first and deals with the consequences of his actions instead of worrying about how he wants to do it. This guy needs to grow.
Men wont change even if he says he said he is sorry. Like my mom said Once a man does it again then its a Cycle but trust me once you leave him you wont feel that hurt anymore you’ll probably be sad for a few days or so but at the end you wouldn’t think about him.
You will lose yourself worth if you stay,once the Trust is Broken there’s Nothing Left I mean Absolutely Nothing.
I been a single mom for 7 years and it has been the best choice I have ever made… I believe that yes its tough but is worth it… think of your kids that they don’t need to grow around lies and fights. Think of your mental peace to go sleep knowing that no one is out there hurting you behind your back and think of what you want for your future. I personally don’t agree with bringing men around your children and thats why also I stay single. But there is plenty of women who redo their lives with good ppl. And trust me you can do it on your own!!your happiness and peace and the example you want to set up for your child should be strong enough to walk away from that. Just know that ppl don’t change and he can promise you that he will…but he wont…he will do it to you and the other one and who ever as long as you allow it…
Tell the gutless pig YOUR plan of action. The sooner he moves out the better
I’d be petty and make him break it off with her in front of me and then once he burned that bridge I’d leave his ass to fry on it
He leaves, you stay in the home with the children.
Seems your husband is showing your children that it’s ok to be unfaithful. You’re teaching them that you accept it. You need to show him you won’t stand for it. Have him leave, or you leave with the kids even if you need to stay in a shelter till you can get it figured out. You need to be there for yourself and you’re kids. Make sure he knows you won’t stand for his behavior and neither will your children. Sorry this is happening to you.
Contact a lawyer, get alimony and child support, get a job, keep yourself busy, you will be fine.
Don’t move out. Make him leave. Retain a lawyer when you can but for now, file a complaint for divorce, temporary alimony and child support. You can file an affidavit of indignency if you don’t have the funds to file. It is unfair for you and your kids to live like this
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If he was choosing to repair his family he would’ve done that. He has not so just focus on what you need to do going forward to be the best version of yourself and mom for the kiddos.
Go to the doctor and get tested and then again ina few months. Do not sleep with this man. Speak to several lawyers. Most co summations are free. Start gathering important documents and financial statements. Personally I’d run credit reports to have a firm understanding of the marriage debts. And just know it healthier for you and the kids to see a happier respected and loved mom than to grow up learning that how dad treats people is the norm and they should just accept it if it happens to them or that it’s ok to do to others.
If you’re able to move out of the bedroom and share with the kids. Ask him to leave I mean he got his side piece to stay with. Put on a lock on the door to whatever rom you stay and keep your things in there. If he gets crappy call the police every time. If you feel he could be violent at any time call the police and set up a safety plan.
Guidance - if he loved you, he would.
Guidance - if he loved you, he wouldn’t have.
Guidance - if he loves you, he would have found a way.
Guidance - if he loved you, there wouldn’t BE a romantic relationship on their end.
Guidance - he ain’t it.
Document EVERYTHING for proof of his cheating and file for custody of the kids, child support and spousal support. Lawyer up and see what can be done about housing and such, you maybe able to get the house. He can go stay with the mistress. Period. Why should you and the babies be uprooted because he chose to act single when he knew he was married with kids? Nope. Take whatever you can and leave him with the one he cheated with. But definitely get a lawyer now, file for child custody, and divorce.
Change the locks don’t let in the family home u stay there with your kids
Rant away Hun
You and your kids deserve better
He is obviously using you and the other woman as a safe zone
If things fall apart with the other woman or you
Skip the couples councilers
And leave him
You deserve someone who actually cares and wants you and is dedicated to you and your family. 2 years is a full on relationship and the disrespect of someone who can lie to your face and then say he loves you is absolutely disgusting. He appreciates that you were free child care and housekeeping. He wants to work it out so he doesn’t have to deal with the consequences of being a pos. Or pay child support. Unless he’s actually involved in day to day activities with his kids and does more than work and screw this other lady-You have been a single parent this whole time anyway. He will still be their dad. He will just have to work harder to be a parent if you are divorced. Don’t worry about a timeline you figure it out and he can deal with it since he’s the one that messed it all up being a selfish ass. You are right he’s not going to give up the other woman. 2 YEARS !! Not days or months with this person. What was his plan? How was this going to work out for all of you?
Stay strong take your time and don’t let him guilt you into anything you don’t want to do.
Narcissist. Leave him now
#1, you don’t have to move. The kids have been raised there, he committed adultery which in some states is a crime technically. The court would rule in your favor more often than not, that you keep the house. You’ve been married 10 years, if you haven’t worked for majority of that, you’ll get alimony and child support. You’ll keep the house. This should help you get started. As long as he agrees to your terms, an uncontested divorce is not that much. I paid 900$, for mine with my cheater. I got the house, primary custody, child support, and I declined alimony. I didn’t want him feeling like I needed him in any way to support me. I worked full time, eventually made more money than him 
and now I own my own business. Being a single mom IN an active relationship is much harder than just being a single mom. Truly I had 4 kids and I left him when my youngest was 1. He has been living off of and mooching off of the woman he was cheating with ever since. (4.5 years). She’s a moron. He has no license, no car, he’s on his 4th DUI which is how he lost his license. Have no fear, you can make it! If he really loves you and his kids, he will leave and pay you timely so you can move on with your life. Good luck.
Contact relate,they will give you excellent guidance.
I put it this way: if it would be other way around, do you think he would stay beside you?
OP Send me a PM! You have the power here.
No trust , no Marriage. It took me a long time to understand this.
2 years? That’s more than cheating. He has a whole different life. And he won’t cut her off? Why does he owe her anything? I know it’s such a shitty situation but u need to leave. U deserve to be the only one not just one of his choices. Sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too.
If he loved you he wouldn’t have had a 2 year long affair. I’m all for working through infidelity when it’s a one off, or truly a lapse in judgement etc. But he ACTIVELY chose to be unfaithful for two years. He knew what he was doing.
The fact that he “can’t let her go”(translates to WON’T LET HER GO) says enough. He wants to continue to have his cake and eat it too. If he cared about you he would disregard this other woman’s feelings and not need “a plan to break it off with her”. Dude just say “I’m married and want to make it work with my wife” end of discussion. Truth is he doesn’t want to end it so he is keeping her on the line while he smooths things over with you.
Struggle, work two jobs, whatever it takes, but leave this jerk immediately. Staying with someone who has zero regard for your emotional and mental health is much worse than whatever you might have to overcome as a single mother. Besides, ten years in, he’s going to have to help support you anyway. Talk to an attorney ASAP but leave as soon as you know where you stand when you divorce.
I don’t understand what guidance you need…HE CHEATED, HE’S STILL CHEATING, LEAVE HIS ASS
Don’t forget in divorce you get AT LEAST half, possibly more because of the adultery, and can go for spousal and child support