My heart is broken…I just went through my husbands phone and found multiple dating wesbites downloaded…even spent $12 on tinder when its free…Idk where to go from here… I am pregnant with our 4th…what do I do?
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Screenshot/record/chose your words from casual to call out! Exit this relationship!
I also want to state … I KNOW it’s not that simple! I’m not trying to suggest it is!
Be smart! & TRUST the fact you felt enough to “look for opinions” PROVES YOU know deep down the REALITY!
SO NOW take the time you need to process & accept…& hopefully choice to CHOOSE YOU!
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QUIT GOING THROUGH YOUR HUSBAND’S PHONE!!!. If you don’t trust him enough that you feel that you have to go through his phone in the 1st place says a lot. If you feel that you have to go through the phone be prepared for how to deal with what you find. Sounds like your trust is non existence at this point. Time to move on.
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Keep copies of everything personally I would then get indisputable evidence , get a friend to make a false account and catfish him. Any savings get in a sole access account. Take your time to process and accept the situation, and think smart before you act on anything. X
I went through that and he definitely will not change even if he’s on his knees crying and begging. Divorce him and move on. It’s a difficult journey but it was the best thing I ever did, just wish I had done it sooner
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Been through this recently. Something was bothering you that made you look. Trust your intuition. If he’s paid for tinder then he’s definitely using it. Collect any evidence to use for divorce and get out of there. It only gets worse.
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Pack his stuff and get rid of him
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Forget him move on don’t waste your time
Leave. No excuse for cheating or abuse! He broke his vows!
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Throw the whole man in the bin
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Secretly find you big tract of Land and buy it…wait for kids get little older and with every penny start putting you a home on your land…Don’t cut your nose off spite your broken heart…
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Oh my god. If a person has to ASK what they should do in this situation, they shouldn’t be in a relationship.
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Start by taking screenshots of it. Open a separate bank account withdraw amounts that are not easily noticed. Once you’ve gotten enough to hire an attorney and serve him papers for divorce along with the screenshots.
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First you tell your doctor so you can be rechecked immediately for STIs, then you gather all of you important documents and put them somewhere safe and outside the home for safekeeping, then you go to the lawyers for consultations, make a plan with them and listen to them!!!, and get yourself a therapist, document everything depending upon what your lawyer needs, and be gentle with yourself this is NOT on you he has something internally that wrong that tells him it’s ok to destroy his kids and wife, also find yourself a different support person bc you need a safe person for you to help you get through labor and delivery.(not saying he can’t be there if that’s what you want but you need someone there for you) And make sure to change your medical powers to someone else.
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Join the apps and match with him!
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Screenshot for divorce evidence first, then set up a profile and catfish him! You deserve better !
Do you work? Support system?
Never Go Through a Mans Phone… Lik3 Ever.
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Send screenshots to yourself for probability and leave …… you can and will do it on your own…. 
Print the evidence for the lawyer later.
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You keep your dignity, get a lawyer and leave his sorry arse 
Get your ducks in a row and get out. It doesn’t get better. Hugs.
You don’t do anything except leave don’t even bother wasting your breath on arguing or talking , it won’t change anything. Trust me.
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Unfortunately you chose to have four kids with this guy. If you aren’t working you need to go back to work and start your own bank account. If the current bank account is under only his name then you do not have the right to that money it is his. Secondly you should NOT be going through someone else’s phone he could press charges against you. You got yourself in this mess.
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Download the same apps and enjoy the single life. I went through it and I took the high road and I regret it.
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Print the evidence and get a lawyer save you’re money and as echoed get tested for STDs
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Damn !!! He has the Upgrade version of Tinder 
Pack his bags and place them outside,get tested for stds and aids
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Get your own bank account. Get evidence if he’s dating. Can’t proof anything by just the apps. Got to have more evidence. Get a divorce lawyer and have custody of the kids before he gets a lawyer. Get support from him starting. But all that after your sure something is going on.
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Ah you leave… period.
Or stay bc you have nowhere to go and live off him.
Never mooch off a man bc this will happen. Always be 8 steps a head.
So, you can rent wood chippers nowadays for fairly decent prices. Also, bleach does NOT get out the stains. Don’t use kitchen cleaning gloves, use hospital grade exam gloves.
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What a prick…No respect for his wife or kids…
Test for stds and contact a divorce attorney before doing anything. Maybe hiring a private investigator
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Document. Document. Document. Don’t confront him yet. Get as much evidence as you can! Rape him in court.
You deserve better! 
praying for your heart
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If you hold value on yourself you deserve better
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Punch him in his sleep and then leave 
… Nah but in all seriousness confront him and tell him what’s really going on ?
You leave …life is too short‼️
What made you look thru his phone?
Ask him when he became a private detective, and when he says what are you even talking about, give it to him. All of it. Tell him you will not tolerate this behavior, and that he needs to spill his guts out right now. Don’t be nice, be strong, and serious. Tell him he needs to straighten up and fly right, or you and those kids will be out of his life, not his house, he can move. The key to this is you wear the pants this time, don’t pussy-foot around.
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Put a tracker on his car too…
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You said “My heart is broken” so my question is how many times do you want to experience that feeling? if you had found one dating app there may have been some possibility of salvage but multiple apps tends to suggest he’s shopping around while your home being his private brood mare that he assumes is oblivious, protect yourself, protect your children, and protect your heart from a future with him filled with that “broken” feeling
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Documentation! Screenshot, record have evidence of him using these sites & paying for them use those for divorce. If you don’t already have your own bank account open one up and try to work (if you still have the kids with you I would recommend work from home jobs, cleaning ,daycare jobs) once you have enough money over time file for child custody either sole or 50/50 whatever you are comfortable with & divorce. Also get your self checked out for any STI’s. Always be steps ahead of him. You got this. you will get through this This wasn’t your fault it may seem like you have no where to turn but I promise there is so much more than being with a person like that you deserve better mama 
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I think you knew what to do before you ever picked up his phone. You don’t need a bunch of strangers to tell you to go ahead.
first find out of you have no fault divorce in your state…all the screenshots and what he has done doesn’t matter if it’s a no fault state
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I’m sorry about this. But I am also sorry & sad that you have to ask people what you should do, Only you can decide what to do 
Leave. Men like this don’t change they just get better at hiding it 
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Get rid … run and never look back… u will never be able to trust him.
Despicable human being with no respect or morals… u and ur baby deserve so much more.
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You leave and end the relationship no questions asked
Same thing happened to me said he would work on it we tried building back our relationship, while pregnant with my second after two years of me thinking he changed I found a hidden phone. They will never change once a cheater always a cheater especially when they don’t care that you’re pregnant. Make a plan save money and find a way to get out
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Contact a good divorce attorney.
Take screenshots and take him for all he is worth! Attorney.
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Boy bye!!! Been there, done that! Once they cross that line the trust is gone forever! I will NEVER understand why anyone would entertain staying with a lying cheat!!
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Start putting money away before you go. You need to take care of you and your kids. He could easily take all the money out, so you have to plan it all out be smart, even though I know your heart is broken.
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Like others said screenshot it and withdraw money from accounts unnoticeable amounts and talk to a divorce lawyer. You will get everything you ask for because he is stepping out on your relationship. Sounds crazy but I know a few friends of mine who’s husbands did the same thing and this is what the lawyer said.
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Make sure you have copies of all financial records. Copies of taxes. Copies of his pay stubs, investments. This is a perfect time to have a realtor give you an estimate of your house value. Protect yourself financially.
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Having dating apps doesn’t prove (in court) cheating. If you have the money or credit available hire a private investigator to get court admissible proof. If you have been married over 10 yrs you can get alimony. These rules might be different where you live.
I recommend doing some research and talking to an experienced attorney before making any decisions.
You know he’s cheating or at least looking to cheat. So, think with your head and not your broken heart. Don’t let him see you behave differently and be smart about this.
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I personally would get std tested !
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Seriously wake up. Kick him out
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Rebecca Machacz what a horrible response to a victim. She didn’t choose for her husband to cheat on her blah! In a marriage everything is 50/50. She can take 50% of the money in their account. She contributed to their finances by allowing him to work without paying for childcare.
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I don’t agree with the “once a cheater, always a cheater” theory.
But multiple apps = untrustworthy and a crappy human.
You talk to a lawyer and gather evidence. Then when you are set up, you drop the bomb
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Um rum & go asap u shouldn’t even have 2 question it
4 kids? I’d leave them all with him and go get you a Hawaii guy and let him poor coconut oil all over ya…
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Document EVERYTHING, leave and never look back.
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Devise your exit plan - this takes time . Put $ aside slowly —- so you can hire a lawyer without his knowledge. You will need quite a bit to retain a good lawyer . Document EVERYTHING that you see . Watch out ! Take pics of his texts and also his dating app stuff . Write it ALL down . Hire someone to follow him and get any proof you can that he is cheating . Do you work outside the home ? If so , keep
This info at your work locked up
. Don’t let him know anything is wrong . You must prepare yourself for your future . Get the meanest divorce lawyer you can get . Please write it all
Down and do NOT let on that anything is wrong !!! If you have anyone ( family ) that will be your confidant , only share with one person . Also , I highly recommend getting a therapist to help you during this time . Lots of luck 
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Go through his phone again and take photos on your phone as evidence in court because you should leave this man. Paying to cheat on you, he’s fully mentally left your relationship. You should too.
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I divorced my husband when I found he had Tinder.
You aren’t going to leave him, just let him know you found it and how it makes you feel. If he loves you, he’ll change.
You make like a baby and head out ! Kick him out, leave. You deserve better
Leave! It will continue to happen and he will just get better at hiding it!
Take screenshots with your phone and hire an Attorney. It’s time to leave and get on with your life with someone who doesn’t cheat and lie.
OMG don’t listen to all this pack up and leave stuff. Cheating is never okay in a relationship. But STOP!!! BREATH. Assess all points of your marriage. How long have you been together? You have four children together? Has this happened before? Is your husband a good man who can change? If he still loves you and made a mistake can you go to marriage counseling if both parties want to continue to work on it. So many times people just throw their relationship and marriages away and I understand the broken trust can hurt your soul to the core, but if you want to be with someone until you die there needs to be room for forgiveness, understanding, friendship, growth. This isn’t a just pack up and leave situation think about every option you have if there’s an honest conversation with him and he is willing to own up and change and do the work and you’re willing to do the work then things can change and you can be with him until the day you die having never to go through something like this again. Obviously it could happen again and then yes get out of there, but sometimes our significant other’s just need reassurance with life kids bills stress sometimes it’s an honest mistake that can be fixed. It’s way more than just pack up and go. I wish you nothing but the best.
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You are pregnant, try to not stress . Take care of the kids and yourself. If you have what you need financial try your best to keep life as normal as possible. Kids need stability.
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I’ve been through this for the last 7 years and I also have 4 kids with him and I’m a stay at home mom while he travels 3 weeks out of the month. If I feel there’s something going on then I will look at his phone and most of the time I find what I’m looking for. But after going through it so long I told him I was done and I’m not doing this anymore and I wasn’t crying. I told him when I don’t cry you know it’s over. We have a 15 yr old son and my husband wanted to tell him that we was splitting up and he told him everything he did and that it wasn’t my fault at all well my son started crying and so felt bad and started crying for my kids not for him. I told him I will never cry for you again but since I love my kids and they love you I will give you one more try and if you mess it up you will be out and I will keep everything it’s been since march and so far he’s been going good unless he got better at hiding it. There was a few times I found deleted messages from woman but he told them we was working it out and he isn’t doing that anymore then deleted the messages but that still bothers me a little bit but I let it slid and we will see what happens
You divorce his ass. If you’re married with a fourth on the way, when is he going to change? He won’t. Personally, get yourself out of that marriage and live your life for you and your kids. Get a lawyer now, get all the evidence you can. You deserve better.
Screenshot everything all documentation you can find. Call and attorney and get things in motion. Time for him to leave!!
How far into pregnancy? Leave either way. I wouldn’t be giving him a child though.
Make him some exlax brownies and let him know what a piece of shit he is!!!
Don’t make any quick decisions. You will need to have a conversation with him and with yourself.
Is he willing to make changes? Are you willing to work through it?
This is going to be a very hard time for both of you, praying for you
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Take screenshots, use it for divorce!! You don’t need that kind of heart break especially while being pregnant. The way a man treats you while being pregnant says a lot about him as a person.
Document EVERYTHING. Keep notes daily of anything like excessive phone time or coming home late, going out with the “guys” suddenly. Keep a journal in writing…… hidden. Journals and calendars are admissible in court. Screenshot and forward what you can to your phone and delete the transmissions. Don’t tip your hand. Gather evidence for now. It’s not what you suspect it’s what you can prove. Most states are no fault in divorce cases but check for where you live. Just document EVERYTHING!!! I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this mess. Sending hugs and prayers
Don’t confront him just yet. Take photos/screenshots of everything. Including the bank statement showing he spent money on tinder. Send them to someone you trust that way if he sees your phone and deletes them you’ll still have proof. Open your own bank account. When going to the store start getting cash back. Even if you just go for a pack of gum take out what you can. Start looking into lawyers, there are some that do free consultations. See your Dr asap for STI testing just to be safe. I know it’s a lot but you can do this!
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I suggest get proof, get an attorney, get a new husband.
Do yourself a favor - before you over react and do what everyone is talking about on here - BREATHE…then ask him about it….
It’s not always what it looks like. Sexually - men and woman both fantasize. One of those fantasies might have to do with cheating because of the risk associated with it. (Kinda like having sex in public).
Talk to him. Don’t jump to conclusions. And don’t attack him over it. Or else he’s going to shut down and you’ll never get a straight answer.
Goto marriage counseling. If it’s not a fantasy then clearly he’s missing something in your marriage that he’s looking for elsewhere. Try and get to the root cause and work through it.
Or…you can listen to the masses and just leave and bring down your marriage and separate your family and make things ever more difficult for your children.
It’s never going to hurt more then it does right now. So… you have a few choices…you don’t need to just screenshot attack and leave.
Go on pack up and don’t look back…
First number one confront him tell him how you feel. He will automatically go into denial. If you don’t get the answers you seek and he says he’s sorry he won’t do it again you can’t give us a second chance that’s what I would do but I would never ever trust or feel the same again. Once your trust is violated it’s very hard to get back believe me.
Leave girl. He’s not worth it you deserve so much better. If he’s on dating sites then more then likely he’s out seeing other women. Kick him out throw his crap out let him go stay with one of the women he’s talking to.
Divorce! Obviously he is a cheater .
Consult an attorney first.
Depending on your financial situation, they may be able to set you up with a private investigator.
Screenshots could be throw out in court. Bank statements he could say you did it.
Don’t tell him you know until after you’ve talked with an attorney or decided to let it slide
Take pictures. You’ll need documentation when you file for divorce. And that is what’s gonna happen. You also need to get checked for diseases. Once you have the pictures and whatever else you can get showing where he’s been unfaithful then you should let him know that you know and that you plan on filing for divorce. Do not leave your home, if anyone leaves it should be him.
Be done with his cheating ass.
Definitely been through this. But my ex had a second phone and the only way I found out about the phone was by seeing an email about the minutes expiring. His personal phone he used was always a secret anyways. So I expected it because of the way he had everything set up as u couldn’t see anything but emails pop up on the screen. Sneaky ass 
Get out while you still can it’s obvious you’re not as important as you thought make sure you do things right you have a child that you have to give 100% of your time to a cheater always a cheater and just focus on you and your child and try to move forward day by day don’t overwhelm yourself to make a long story short when I was eight months pregnant he had another woman pregnant as well I think she was about six months along it was Christmas weekend and he completely disappeared I cleaned out the apartment and I never looked back Two kids with the turd I apologize if you don’t like what I’m saying but it’s the truth Best wishes love
This group really makes me wanna stay single with all the unfaithful men i keep reading about. Damn.
Pack his shit and make him leave tell him he knows what he did and until he realizes it then he’s not going to fucking understand it but I’m sure he’ll put two and two together soon so sorry you’re going through this
Smash the phone on his head, pack up the kids and leave
Leave his ass. There’s no coming back from this.
Cheating for sure. How sad when ur having his 4th baby. Men ain’t shit