I found out my mom and boyfriend are sleeping together

I’m so lost right now. I’m angry, depressed, heartbroken and I need major advice. I found texts on my moms phone between her and my boyfriend of 5 years. They were pretty racy… she had his name in her phone saved as “Julian”… that’s his middle name… (I grabbed her phone while she was in the shower to text my sister). They sent explicit photos back and forth, talked about hooking up, said they loved each other… it didn’t show faces but it was clear it was him due to a birth mark you can only see with clothes off…and I’m literally so confused. That’s my MOTHER. It is Mother’s Day weekend and I was planning a huge surprise for her… my boyfriend even planned to skip Mother’s Day with his mom…. And now I know why… he’s sleeping with mine… I haven’t told either of them that I know but I feel like I need to make a scene over this… I can’t just let it go and be the bigger person… what would you do if you found this info out? What should I do? I can’t even think clearly right now… this can’t be real. This can’t be happening… while I know the texts didn’t reveal faces… I know deep down it’s my boyfriend due to the birthmark…


I’m petty I would have sent myself the texts and made her a Mother’s Day gift with the evidence! I’m sorry that you’re going thru it.


Print those pictures and decorate her Mother’s Day surprise for her :face_with_raised_eyebrow: you deserve better than this!! I’m so sorry x


Make a big SCENE!!! As big and bad and dirty as that sh*t is. :poop::tada: no good gifts and cut all ties lol. But I’m a little crazy :crazy_face: so…


Personally I would make a huge scene on mothers day in front of whatever family was there to witness it, but I’m petty like that. I would send yourself the screen shots so you have the truth when they try to back peddle. I would invite as many people over to see this so everyone knows how they really are :woman_shrugging: I’m sorry you have to deal with this, good luck!


Oh I’d be skipping Mother’s Day for sure… it’s always best to be the bigger person in the long run it doesn’t stop the pain or cure the problem being petty, but I understand why you feel the way you do and if you’re going to make a big scene out of it you only get one shot at it , so do it well and as public as possible. Maybe that should be your big Mother’s Day surprise? His mother, your mother, him and whoever else you can gather up in the most public place you can think of and then let the cat out of the bag and leave… :rofl::joy::rofl:. I’m sorry this happened to you I hope you love yourself enough to understand you are worth so much more and that you walk away from this man and situation with your head held high I know it hurts now but if you give yourself the chance you will heal… Good luck


I would have a Mothers Day dinner with everyone, all family, there… I would then say “it’s video time!!” and have a video of all their text back and forth for everyone to see.


Girrllll…let me just say this!! Send those messages/pictures to your self, keep the plans for mothers day (hell even invite other family members) get a mother’s day card/get well card( cause that’s just sick) write what you want to in it about your findings, stick the screens shot pictures inside the card amd hand it to her over dinner with everyone there including your boyfriend and watch her face as she realizes what it is and calmly stand up look at both of them and say with a straight face " you can have him, yall are made for one a other" and walk away and cut ties …that right there baby girl is a power move in it self!! Once your away from them release all the tears and emotions you need/want to and once your ready gather yourself and hold your head high baby girl!!! :muscle: :heart: :clap:


I’d say goodbye to both of them. Move forward as best I could.


Well, plan a dinner. You make it. Have 3 place sittings done. Tell them time and place to be there by. If you’re able to sneakily forward those pictures and messages to yourself. Print them out. Leave them on your place sitting on plate. Have the dinner and all done. Then not be there when they show up. They’ll realize they were caught. Then you go out and spoil yourself and treat yourself. Heck. Probably invite his mom out to dinner and let her know what her son has been up to.


My sister did this to my niece - we all cut her out of our lives including my niece - she is 40 and he is 22 now with a baby together - Disgusting. Her excuse “you can’t help who you fall in love with”- So sorry you have to deal with that


Hunny some of us are crazy. I don’t think you want to know what some of us would do if we found out. Let’s just say I’d probably end up on the news.


I’d make a scene on Mother’s Day but that’s me lol :laughing:


Get them messages printed. Put it in a binder. Wrap it and give it to her. :tipping_hand_woman::nail_care:


Be very loud and do it around family members!! I would even invite his mother and family!! To bad, you didn’t screen shot the messages and send them to your own phone, so you had that as proof!! Be loud…very loud!! I would plan a cookout and invite ALL family and I would loudly let it all out.
Update us and let us know, how it goes!!


Personally, I would disappear and let the chips fall where they may. Making a scene makes it appear that you want attention. Just dismiss both of them and walk away. Save your efforts for those who actually care about you. Never forget what they did and why you have walked away from them!
So sorry that you are having to deal with all this, Hugs to you.


Relationships come and go throughout life so the boyfriend is a disposable problem, your mother however is THE foundational relationship of your life, besides cannibalism this is the ultimate betrayal she could commit, words cant express how sorry I am for you


Sometimes being the bigger person, isn’t meant to be. Reverenge can be bitter sweet


I would wrap a box up with a paper inside that says, “I know your sleeping with my boyfriend” and I would move on without both of them!


Couldn’t imagine being in this situation. I’d drop them both after figuring out how to tell them I know. What timing to find out also…


I wouldn’t cook :poop: but I would send those texts and pictures to the whole family, his and mine, especially my grandmother her mom and dad brother etc…. ALL the pic!!!


Buy a cake for Mother’s Day, or a card. Have the writing be “I Know You’re Sleeping With My Boyfriend”. She’ll react, starting the “scene”. Leave his a**with her, and be done with both.


My mom married my boyfriend. So I know exactly how you’re feeling right now. I’m so sorry. You’re welcome to message me.


I’d be cutting both out of my life!


In the spirit of Jerry Springer, I’d still surprise her have my boyfriend in on the surprise. Get pics printed of the explicit messages and have your boyfriend give them to her in an envelope and you give her a card in another explaining how done you are with both of them. Come on out Julian!


I would cut them both off and move on. Cheaters never change and if it’s with someone that is very close to you (like ur mother)…even worse! I would NEVER TRUST EITHER OF THEM AGAIN!


Make her a mother’s day photo album with the screenshots printed out :slight_smile:


Get those pics off her phone. Print them and make a lovely little boxed gift for her for Mother’s day. Present it to her with him


Depends your level of pettiness.
Invite his mum to a meal with you all instead of the special plan. Ask outright if his mum wants to sleep with you. When they all look at you weird act confused and ask is that not what partners and their mother in laws do. Seeing as that’s what your mum and him are doing


Not give her anything at the Mother’s Day gathering and when she asks why not say “well I wasn’t going to embarrass you but since you asked I’m not sure you deserve a gift since you’re sleeping with my boyfriend and everything”

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Make it a family thing prepare this speech that your so thankful to have a mother like her say loads of nice things about it how she makes you a better person and you would be lost without her and say got a surprise for you and grab your bf hand give her him and say the best thing I could give a woundful mother like you is my Julien seen as you been sleeping together he obv loves you so I’m letting I’m being a good daughter like you have mother and you can have him and walk out without looking back


For 1 there would be absolutely no mother’s day celebration for her. I would call his mom and spill all the tea about why he doesn’t want to spend mother’s day with her and then loudly and publicly out them.

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Wow … this is an amazing situation … this is your mother … your blood … your closest ever blood … it is so hard because she has been everything to you … If you make a scene and nix her out of your life, I think you will regret burning that bridge with her … I could not allow a “boyfriend” to get in the way of my relationship with my mother … I would def be very upset for a very long time … but I can tell you that at some point I would forgive her … trust her again … no … but I believe once their dirty little secret is over , which is part of the excitement for them, they will both lose interest in their relationship with each other and it will be over between them and they will split … but I would NEVER see that 'boyfriend" again … that is a bridge I would burn a bonfire on! Prayers to you, sweet girl, I am so sorry you are having to face this … Sincerest Best Wishes to You …


Besides the birth mark what other evidence is there that it’s your boyfriend?

Absolutely invite his mom and family members! Make sure as many people as possible are there to witness the big surprise you have for your mother and scum bag boyfriend. Ohhh how I wish I could help you plan this. Good luck and God bless you.

I’m so sorry you are going through this :disappointed_relieved:
If I were in your shoes I’d cut ties immediately…with both the mother and boyfriend…do you all live together? It must be hard to keep all of this to yourself. I’d take pictures of the evidence you have, take pictures of the contact name and number, the pictures. Always trust your gut, but always protect yourself with evidence.
I’m praying you’re in a safe place and can find peace with this crazy situation!

Whatever you do can we get an update :flushed: yikes


Take her to a nice place, all of you. Then make a speech about how much you loved finding out that she and your boyfriend are hooking up, loudly, so everyone can hear. Then, let them both kiss your ass goodbye.

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Did you check if his phone number was the same? I’m sure you can see the phone number.

People they aren’t married. Mother sleeping with Boyfriend. I’m like the rest of you about being petty. Print out the text and pictures and send them to his mother since he doesn’t doesn’t want to spend Mother’s Day with her. Then like someone else said put the pictures in a Happy Mother’s Day card give it to her and walk out and spend the money on yourself that you would’ve spent on a present for her. Then cut them both out of your life. You deserve better. So sorry you are going thru this.

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I’d be flipping all the tables over on Mother’s Day.

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Be ABSOLUTELY sure you have definate proof. Does boyfriends father have same mark as boyfriend. Just tell your mom what you found on her phone,maybe she has a different explanation

I’d forward all the messages to my lself print them wrap them up and give them to her on mothers day in front a a restaurant full of people. I’m petty and proud.


Oh My!!! If it is your boyfriend I would definitely confront them together. No better day than Mothers Day!! You will definitely need professional help processing this. I’m so sorry!!! I’m a mother of adult children and can’t even stomach the thought of this.

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Time to let them go. Praying for strength for you but atleast you know before you get any further involved. That’s pretty darn lowdown. But let it go and get on with life. There’s someone better for you. God bless you sweetie


See I’m the petty person that would still plan a Mother’s Day surprise. I’d cook a good meal and decorate. Act like everything was good and as we all sit down to eat id ask them how they like sleeping together and how long has it happened. Also I’d sent them pics to my phone and made big copies of them and that been one of her gifts!


Um maybe it’s his daddy with the same birthmark or a brother. Snooping is a bad trait that hardly ever ends well. Ask them straight up that would be the grownup thing to do.


I’m really really sorry you’re going through this. I don’t know that I have any good advice. I guess if it were me, I’d take some time for myself. Obviously kick the BF to the curb and go no contact with mom, at least for a while. And if you don’t want it, avoid the drama. You don’t owe them any explanation. They know what they’re doing and will put two and two together once you stop speaking with them. I hope you have a support system outside of family, ie your friends. Lean on them for a while. What a shitty situation. You don’t deserve this and I’m really sorry you’re going through it.

Every one out here talking about causing a scene and being petty…idk maybe. I wouldn’t blame her if she did, but is that really what’s best for OP’s mental health? Probably not :woman_shrugging:


It’d be a mother’s day they’d never forget… I’d send any kids off for the day and id swear I’d make a sideshow of all the messages and pics and let everyone watch it…hell to the naaawww


Is it his number? Call the number and find out first. But if your gut tells you you’re right go with it and cut them both off

I’d print out the evidence, go eat somewhere nice, wrap a nice size box, and make sure it’s beautifully wrapped and it would actually only have the evidence and a note that said, “I hope you enjoyed the last Mother’s Day with your daughter, last any day for that matter. You both are dead to me. PS y’all can decide which one of you are paying my bill… would watch her open it and read it, but then I would permanently excuse myself from the meal and both of their lives.

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If I would’ve found out before my mama died I would’ve went ape shit but in my case it wasn’t until after.
Exile them both. Neither deserve you in their life. That’s a hurt NO mother should cause.

Omg I would rat them out at the Mothers Day party in front of everyone. Print their texts and photos for all to see.


Nope that’s bullshit make a scene! Your own mother . I’d lose it .

Before you do anything - get a good divorce lawyer. The rest depends on how low you are willing to go. Personally i would also make a gift and buy myself something really nice on the cheaters dime for mothers day. Including a nice hotel room while he gets his affairs in order.

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I couldn’t even imagine
But walk away don’t say word and leave
I would screen shot everything and make copies from printer and just lay them somewhere you know him and her could find them
Leave it at that
Making scene will make worse for you
But not saying word to either of them and walking away block all communications from them
That will show more then you get back from it
I was petty like that and all it did was make me look like crazy psycho and I still got lied to my mom never did it but a very good friend did and I should have walked away
Keep us posted on how you handle it
Your worth more and deserve better
You did nothing wrong this on him and your mom

I thought my mom sucked. I am so so sorry!! This brings out the pettiness in all us women lol. I can’t say I wouldn’t be petty. I would blow this out of the water with pettiness.

You should screen shot the conversations and texts, but it in photo book or scrap book and give it to her for mothers days honestly because what she did you as mother is extremely messed up. I’d definitely make a scene

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I’d make the big scene on Mother’s Day. And cut all ties with the both of their nasty selfs.

I would surprise them both on Mothers Day with a little slide show😊 Happy Mothers day


Just wow, be done with both! You should totally still do Mother’s Day for her. But buy her one of those pop out photo book things instead. A suprise she’ll never forget. Happy not your f-in daughter day!

As painful as this is don’t forget she’s your mother and he’s just a boyfriend don’t ruen you reputation in all of this play it cool just tell them you know and move on exposing them will only hurt you more this situation it’s not worth your embarrassment I’m sorry you have to go through this but think of your reflection on this :heart:

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Girl don’t be the bigger person get any healing you can now by calling them tf out and letting there actions be known


Look at the phone number under the name. Is it his?

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I would make THE BIGGEST scene and literally never talk to either of them again. Idc if that’s your mom. If they will do this they’ll do anything! I would never be able to trust or hold my tonge.

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Just buy them both a thank you card; they’ve taken the trash out themselves. Take time to compose what you want to say, and don’t utter an actual word…

Or… Make your mum a photo album of every picture she loves of the two of you, and let the title page be… How to destroy a family!

Please know you’re worth better than this, I don’t even have words to describe this, the ultimate betrayal :broken_heart:

Keep the plan for mothers day.
When she’s happy and shit announce to the room that she’s the best mother a girl can ask for. She gave you life, she provided for you, and she even test drives your boyfriend’s to make sure they’re good enough in bed. Call them both a piece of shit, tell him his shit is packed for him and he can pick it up and move it into your mom’s place when the nights over.

I would certainly make sure you were correct before you do anything. But if you find out before mother’s Day get her a gift card for a hotel or something and tell her she can bring your man since she is already sleeping with him. Be creative wrap something sexy for her with hotel stay

Omg!! I’m so sorry you are going through this :cry: I would set something up and call them out in front of a bunch of people! Don’t even make a scene just make it extremely uncomfortable! Unreal​:face_with_symbols_over_mouth: I’m so sorry

Go to Mothers Day together and while there slap a bow on the “EX” boyfriend and push him her way. Happy Mothers Day, hope its life long love cause you just lost a daughter over it! And then leave without the boyfriend.

Did you check to see if it was coming from his phone number?

I’ll throw a cook out invite his mom and family of course and have your mom and family and everybody sitting down. Print out the pictures wrape them up as a gift and pass them out and tell them to open it when I count go 3 :grin:

I also agree on inviting them out for brunch or something and out them infront of a TON people. They deserve to feel publicly humiliated for that! I’m so sorry :disappointed:

I would go crazy who cares about making a scene cause I wouldn’t at that point & he would be gone asap.

Yea I’m petty like that to. This has happen to me when I was younger. So I got pregnant really young and when I was pregnant with my son I actually caught them in bed and they were together for like 3 to 4 years . I beat both of there asses. And don’t have any ties to either one of them. The father of my son has nothing to do with him and now he is 17

I’d say go out to lunch for Mother’s Day and start the scene :joy:

I’d also try to screen shot my moms phone and send me the evidence, but make sure to delete the messages sent to you from her phone…
I’d print them out and hand them to her out in public and then walk out girl! You deserve sooooo much better from both of them!

I’d start put like ur doin the mothers day surprise but instead of any gift I’d bust out with the proof of what’s going on and show ur natural born ass…sometimes being the bigger person just ain’t it not in a situation like this. Ur mother committed the betrayel of all betrayals and ruining mothers day for her will not be something she’d ever forget.

Go big or go home… throw a big ass party for her… invite the whole family, all her friends, ect… then let them know the surprise dont forget to show the receipts :wink:. Fuck that kinda betrayal

I’d be tempted to screen shot the messages and get them printed onto a big card and give her that for Mother’s Day, in front of him and the rest of the family including his parents,and Leave them both there. They’re welcome to each other imo

She is not a mother because a real mother would not do that to do their child, that’s disgusting! Say goodbye to both, they can have each other and you can move on knowing karma will take care of the rest.

I’d definitely be making a big scene on mother’s Day and calling them both out on their betrayals and embarrass the shit out of them then walk out and cut ties on both your boyfriend and mother

Confess that you saw her pictures… Get her to call Julian and invite him to the Mother’s Day party. Or at the party, call Julian and see if your boyfriend gets a call :rofl:

I’m pettyyyyyy!!! Id print it all out and give her the book for Mother’s Day🤷🏼‍♀️

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I don’t think I would be able to contain myself. I would tell my bf to gtf out of my life and as for my mother I think I’d like to punch her out but as she’s old id let karma get her and not want to know her.

Give her your man for mother’s day then be done with both of them…very disturbing situation…sorry for you but obviously they have no concern over your feelings

Roses are red,
My boyfriends a bum,
I know you’ve been fucking him,

I love the idea of keeping all the plans and giving a card with printed pages of evidence during dinner and then walking out on everyone.

I would love to know after what you chose to do!

Is Facebook the place to air this dirty laundry if it’s true


I would have sent screen shots and the pictures to myself and had a special mother’s day card made for her :two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts:

Thats so shitty! Since your boyfriend is in onit ask him for his card and use it to book yourself a holiday. Tell him you need it for decorations. Get a cake print the evidence and send it to her and get him to meet at hers. Make it a set up :joy:

Personally I would gather all the texts and pics and invite everyone to a Mother’s Day cook out and prep a slide show to show your appreciation for all your mother has done for you.

Girl make that scene. For her present, print all all those messages and pictures and give them to her in a scrap book. :kissing_heart:

Ghost them both and never speak to them again.
Not even for an emergency.
I’m hoping you don’t have kids with this monster but if you do, perhaps try and get back into moms phone, or his. Save the pics and texts to your phone for evidence and take him to the cleaners. Normally I’m all for an amicable breakup when kids are involved but I’d be seeing red.
Then, get some therapy. You’ve just had the 2 people you should trust the most in the world breech that. A counselor can help you navigate these feelings.
I’m so sorry.

Invite the WHOLE family… his too and play a special video of all their text for everyone to see…

when you record your moms phone with evidence, take the name out so everyone can see it’s his number… drop a vase on the ground as you walk out of the party and let them deal with the aftermath.

Also, I’m dramatic :woman_shrugging:t3:

Make sure you have all your ducks in a row like if he lives with you or you live with him plan your escape or anything else you have to do for your safety if that makes sense… then once all that’s done make the biggest scene and expose them both. Just make sure you are safe and prepared first. I’m so sorry this has happening to you darling, you deserve so much better xxxx

Ask her dose she like how you taste LMAO :rofl: :crazy_face: sorry :disappointed: for whats going on sending big hugs :hugs:

I’d make shirts for him and her. Hers would say “mother”. His would say “mother*u**er.” A ss of their texts would be on the back.

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I print off the messages and give it to her in front of him for Mother’s Day

I would absolutely be causing a scene!!! And ya mom should be disowned for that.