So I got married, long story short. We got a divorce(still in the process) cause we do live in different states. Just right after we filed for divorce I found out I was 4 1:2 months pregnant with his child. So on all our divorce papers there’s nothing saying we have a child together. My baby is 17 months now. How do I go about everything and adding the baby to the papers doing custody. Or should I leave it alone(p.s don’t know if you can get In legal trouble for the baby not being apart of it) also another disclaimer I can’t contact the dad (haven’t been able too) also he is military. I am going to get a lawyer but I just wanted some advice/ support. And I don’t know if it’s too late.
11 Likes
Why did you not mention it before the divorce?
1 Like
File for support and custody ASAP.
4 Likes
File for custody and child support. The government will take it from his pay.
3 Likes
It could be because baby isn’t born yet? In my divorce my children’s names and birthdates were in the divorce papers and it was asked if paternity had been established for child support reasons. Contact the clerk of courts and verify what is going on and what steps you need to take when baby arrives.
1 Like
Why didn’t you mention you were pregnant 
or did you not tell him either.
3 Likes
If you have a decent relationship with the dad, talk to him first and see if you can come to an agreement outside of the courts. It’s better for everyone if you can .
It depends on what you want from dad. You wont get in trouble for baby not being on divorce papers. You can do custody separate. I did.
1 Like
If he’s military your baby gets benefits. So definitely go about getting his paternity established and letting him know.
8 Likes
Leave it alone that happend to me and all I got back was big problems.
2 Likes
Did anybody read the entire post?
2 Likes
Geez every single one of you women are so quick to jump for child support, ridiculous!!!
11 Likes
You have 300 days after a divorce for child to be considered child of marriage unless proven otherwise by denial of paternity or dna test
3 Likes
I’m just coming to the conclusion that there are way more mouth breathers in this world then I thought… this is going to be judgmental so if you cant handle that scroll on now - Seriously move on. 1) Why did you have sex, unsafe sex at that, with someone you’re getting a divorce from, THAT’S STUPID! 2) If you knew when you were 4 1/2 months during the divorce why did you not say anything, THAT’S EXTRA STUPID! 3) why are you finally thinking about this almost 2 years later. Sounds extra fishy to me - hope he gets a DNA test.
14 Likes
In PA when you are married and conceived a child he is the presumptive father even without documentation and can still go through custody proceedings even the child isn’t mentioned in the divorce paperwork.
You cant just leave it alone.the kid has a right to their father.and vice versa
7 Likes
The baby is 17 months, and you were pregnant for 9 months and you havent been able to contact the dad that entire time?
10 Likes
Child support is different than divorce. You can file for child support even if you were never married. I’m assuming he knew about the pregnancy? If he doesn’t want to be in the child’s life he can sign away his rights.
1 Like
The military will make it pay for child support on top of even possilbly getting helathcare and other benefits. Find out parentage laws where you live. If you know the name and state hes in it wont be hard to find him lol
1 Like
You said the divorce isnt finalized yet so yes, you need to tell someone that’s involved in the divorce (his lawyer or yours). He can use this against you if you dont bring it up & that can jeopardize your custody chances.
4 Likes
Custody can be separate from divorce papers. Talk to your lawyer. FB is not the place for legal advice especially since you didn’t specify a state.
2 Likes
All the judgemental assholes that can’t read🤣🤦
So does the man not know about his kid… He may be military but in 17 months you’ve had more than enough time to tell him. That’s shady on your part
16 Likes
If you know where he is stationed at you can call the base, they can locate him for you and you can speak to his chief or him.
Lawyer ASAP add baby I’m sure there are amendments. You want your baby to get support and it’s gotta be documented.
Need DNA test because of not being together at time of birth
You can add it with the courts
The dad should already know.
You found out at 4 1/2 months baby is 17 months. So you’ve had time to get in contact with the dad in some way. To let him know. He has a right.
Definitely do what you need to to let the dad know.
4 Likes
Baby has to first be born with social security documentation for reference and will go from there with constant communication back and forth from you and the appropriate agencies.
Handle everything legally through the lawyer…
This sounds like a nightmore mess
2 Likes
Can’t find dad? That’s when you contact the military. They know exactly where he is at. No clue about divorce. Sorry
1 Like
I found out I was pregnant after the divorce started. He is military and was overseas at the time. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I let my attorney know. When our daughter was born, I sent him a Red Cross message to notify him of her birth. He wasn’t granted leave but because we were married his name appears on her birth certificate. Once we went home I notified my attorney and they notified the courts. She was about 2 months when a mediation meeting was scheduled to discuss visitation. It is something that should have been mentioned a long time ago and can be considered parental alienation if the dad has not been informed or kept from the baby.
9 Likes
Get a lawyer and tell them what you want. Not saying anything could turn into a legal headache down the road. Best to get it taken care of asap.
1 Like
The military will guve child support and health care, go to your attorney the age of thebaby will shown he was part of the marriage before you divorced…
1 Like
Talk to a lawyer ASAP to know your rights in your area please. Most give an hr free
I’m confused? Is the divorce final or not? If not that usually automatically makes him the father unless it’s proven otherwise and you should go about establishing custody through the court and set up child support. If it is final, then you will more than likely have to establish paternity and when you do you can finally go about custody and child support. The father should have been notified long before now though. All of this can be done outside of divorce. When I was pregnant and still in the middle of a divorce my lawyer made me wait until after I had the baby so we could include baby in the paperwork, my ex isn’t her father and the bio father signed an affidavit to be put on the bc. But if the divorce isn’t completely over then tell your lawyer about the child to get the child added.
It’s his baby. The baby has a birth right to know it’s father. You want get in trouble. You didnt know
Just talk to the lawyer as you both are from different states… and that’s what making the divorce process so long. So best advice get it from your lawyer.
1 Like
There was no baby when you divorced. You were pregnant so the baby wasnt a legal person. I would reach out to a lawyer to discuss custody and child support. If you know where he is stationed reach out to the base.
Your child should have tricare health insurance! That is a huge thing you want.
2 Likes
Y’all always so quick to dog and dig at other women. You don’t want to be judged but you sure as hell do a lot of it yourselves. Smh
4 Likes
Lawyer up. Your gonna have to make a whole parenting plan.
The military knows. Contact them and a lawyer
Wierd story If the divorce is still in process you are still legally married and the kid is 17 months now?
Also the military has stricked family guidelines a soldier obeys by so something is off in your story