I got in a fight with my family and now I don't want them to come thanksgiving: Advice?

Because your 4 year old the dog got pregnant?! What

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I think you should tag them in this post and let them read all of the responses.

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Fuck that shit. Bye, Felecia :wave::wave:

Don’t go. Send her and your FIL a message explaining that his reaction was uncalled for and that you will not be attending.

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Blaming a 4yr old for a bred bitch. :joy::joy::joy::joy:.
Funniest excuse yet.

I’d be giving a big HELL NO until he personally apologizes

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U got a good man. Cuz my ex husband always let everyone talk about me. And disrespect me. Do what u feel. Its ur life. Dont add negative vibes to ur tribe.

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Well FIL sounds like a control freak. I don’t blame you for being mad. The invite,my guess, is mom trying to smooth things over. Your husband’s reaction tells me this is not a new problem. M I L sounds as if she wants peace but if you guys are feeling defensive, I don’t think it is a good idea. I wld be a little worried about the pup too. Here,s my suggestion: talk to mom and express your concerns. She will probably promise wld be well. Maybe have a short visit before to see if he is in control. If things are dicey tell mom you don’t want a fight on a holiday so it wld be best to celebrate apart until feelings die down. It wld be great if everyone cld talk about why but it may not happen. If you do meet and the hostility arises then jut say time to go and leave. I wld be careful about leaving the pup. FIL sounds harsh.

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I absolutely would not go to your in-laws for Thanksgiving or any holiday. Nope not a chance.

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Decline politely, find a home for the puppies that doesn’t include them. Be cordial, don’t be petty and stoop to their level, enjoy Thanksgiving without them! Kudos to your hubby for supporting you, some won’t. Good luck!

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It’s not your 4 year olds fault, it’s yours.
Be responsible for yourself, the pups shouldn’t leave their mother until 8 weeks, simple.
They either take the pup them or not at all.

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I read the whole thing and all I can focus on is how it’s the 4 year olds fault the dog got pregnant??? Lol wut am I reading that wrong??

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Can we get more details on how your 4 year old got your dog pregnant?! Completely and utterly lost but like very curious. You also don’t have to give them the dogs but this needs more details

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So you drove 2 hours away to show her these puppies. Then they threw a fit over having to wait 2 weeks. Over that, he spoke to you like that? Then sent a half apology by text to your husband… nope. I would not go.
Side note, idk how it could possibly be your four year olds fault that your dog got pregnant. Also you have an awesome husband for sticking up for you.

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I wouldn’t even give them the puppy cause if he’s short tempered like that he doesn’t have the patience for a puppy and puppy behavior ( chewing stuff and peeing and pooping in the house until trained ) the puppy could be in an abusive home if he’s just gonna snap like that if the puppy shouldn’t leave till 8 weeks and he can’t see it’s in the PUPPIES best interest…that’s a FUCK NO FOR ME ! Save your gas and eat at home :grin:

Nope. I wouldn’t go back until I got a heartfelt apology, and I would make it clear that if he ever talked to me like that again, he wouldn’t see me again.

For the record, you are right. Dogs are literally my passion. I work 40 + hours a week with them every week, and I’m always researching and expanding my knowledge regarding them.

The bottom line is your FIL is the retarded loud mouth bitch. It isn’t just about being weaned, pups learn so much about social cues, bite inhibition, manners, basically being a dog, in those important few weeks. Personally I prefer a pup stay to about 10-12 weeks.

Pups who are separated too early can suffer from separation anxiety,poor socialization, have no play manners, bite a lot, all sorts of things! Accidental litter or not, it’s your responsibility to give those pups their best start/chance at life, and you are doing a great job!

And for God’s sake, we need to get rid of the notion that you have to allow family in your life! If they are toxic it’s absolutely OK to love them from a distance!

Stand your ground! And your husband should stand with you! I wouldn’t let not even parents talk to my wife that way, if they disrespect her then they are disrespecting me.

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Lmao at all these people questioning how it’s the 4 year olds fault. Common sense would say that the 4 year old let the dog out, maybe opened the door, didn’t close the door fast enough. Who knows but helllllllllo

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I wouldn’t be going for thanksgiving. And they wouldn’t be getting my puppy. The only thing they’d get from me is the silent treatment!
You don’t NEED family. And you don’t owe them anything. They respect you or they can kick rocks :woman_shrugging:t3:

Then don’t go to Thanksgiving?

I wouldn’t go. And until he gave a REAL apology to your face (and the pup is 8 weeks old) they can’t have the dogs

There’s soooo many bigger problems going on in the world… legit just give them the damn dog. You pregnant, with a four year, and now a bunch of dogs in your house. Save yourself the stress. And also you sit at home and miss thanksgiving don’t make their grandchild. :woman_shrugging:t5:

Honest opinion:
Where I live, it’s perfectly legal to give an animal away at 6 weeks, but no younger.
If you felt comfortable enough to take them that long of a drive and stay there and spend more time there. With the puppies not with their mom. You should have been comfortable to give them away or you never would have took the puppies. That makes absolutely no sense. It’s like bringing just cookie dough to your kids class. “You can only look at it and play with it, but then i have to take it back home so I can cook it a bit first. But then I will come back later with cookies.” Does that make sense? No. Personally, I wouldn’t have brought the dogs until they were ready, aka me being comfortable enough to have them away from their mom for a long time. Because it’s kinda a no brainer they would have want to kept their dog that you brought for them to chose. Their dog at that point, not yours.

Secondly, the father in law also completely overreacted. His apology was utterly ridiculous.

Don’t be mad at your MIL. It’s just as how your husband is taking your side, she is going to take her husbands side. That’s kinda like a given. And if you are mad, don’t hold it against her.

Lastly, and apologies for the really long comment. Kudos to your husband for sticking up for you. Most guys don’t to their families. So it’s really admirable he did and is standing his ground for you. But it would be fun to host your own thanksgiving with your own little family.

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Screw them. Have your own thanksgiving away from them until they can GROW UP :roll_eyes::unamused:

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I think a break is good. They need to think about their actions. Definately put them in the naughty corner for thanksgiving this year. It will hurt, but time apart is good for reflection.

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I wouldn’t go to anything until they apologized

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You do have a good husband but your in laws are something else. Tell them no thanks for the invite and fix your own dinner or go out to eat

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I think it’s great that your husband is standing up for you against his father, as he should. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to spend a holiday with anyone who treated me like that, acting like a spoiled brat who didn’t get his way, without so much as a DIRECT apology to me. His apology was not an apology at all. His behavior is disgusting and the fact that his wife couldn’t even tell him he was wrong is messed up as well. I would honestly question the pups safety with anyone who loses their shit like that. P.S. everything I’ve read about separating a pup from its mother is always 8+ weeks.

Just remember everyday is not promised. Choose your battles wisely. Yes he was mean as hell and shouldn’t have said those things but is this something you want to just write off your family because of.

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Don’t go, keep the puppy. Get your fucking dog spayed.

Nope keep them away.

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Give them the damn dog, eat the turkey and let it go. More could and will happen. Make sure the 4 year old doesn’t make such a terrible mistake again😁. Just kidding move on to real advice…

Sounds like your in laws have serious issues

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Hell no I wouldn’t go. What trash. You can make your own. Don’t even settle for that treatment. If you do it will happen again.

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I would for sure not give them a puppy. Like no way Jose. Nope. Window has closed. Your FIL has a hot temper and with being so disrespectful to you over YOUR puppies I’d take that offer right back. He’s not paying for that puppy he can stick it where the sun don’t shine. I also would not go to Thanksgiving until I received a formal and heartfelt apology from the both of them. Don’t be a door mat.

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If you don’t want to go fine! No big deal. I would worry about the dog. If you feel uncomfortable, then don’t go. You are an adult, listen to your gut. If you don’t feel comfortable then you don’t feel comfortable! It is sad when family doesn’t get along but sometimes things don’t work out!

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Make your own plans. And find a good home for all the pups one that does not include them. Until you get a proper sincere apology well your FIL can go F himself for talking to you like that. Your pups your rules they don’t like it well that is too damn bad. They are the ones that are alienating themselves. And good for your husband for standing up for you. Of course your husband is the one that should communicate all this information to them. How rude and uncalled for from your FIL.

Dad seems like he’d beat the damn dog.

I wouldnt go and u husband needs to stick ip for u, your his wife.

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Good for your husband girl!!! And it’s your FIL who’s being petty, not you. You said this isn’t the 1st time you’ve had trouble with him, then it probably won’t be the last. If you don’t feel comfortable with him in your home then don’t invite him to dinner or anything else until HE apologizes to YOU!

Good for your husband don’t be talk to like a animal I would never talk to my daughter-in-law like that ever that would hurt my son so bad an they would never forget it

Damn what kind of a dog is it? :laughing:

All that over a dog, that’s ridiculous. I wouldn’t go and just cause I’m pretty I wouldn’t give them the dog wont even say anything until they ask about it. Give it to someone else who will be grateful your thinking of its well being. Go have Thanksgiving with your parents or your own and invite your love ones. Also you have an amazing husband congrats!

Simply tell them you have already made plans ( and make some)

Is this a one-off, an alcohol-fueled rage, or is his blowing up & ugly name-calling a frequent occurrence? If it’s a one-time deal, say you need a break from them this Thanksgiving, but suggest getting together after everyone’s had a chance to cool down & reflect a bit. If you think they’d be good dog parents, let them have a puppy, but if you think FIL would kick the dog, make an excuse why they can’t have one.

If the explosions and rude language happen often, it might be time to only meet them in public places. Maybe Thanksgiving at a restaurant could turn out OK. Or switch it up & help out at a homeless shelter, nursing home or similar place this year.

Also, see if you can take the mom aside & ask if she’s OK or if she’s being emotionally abused. Give her some literature from a women’s advocacy group on what constitutes abuse & who to call to get out or help if things get ugly.

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You don’t have to go. Stay at home and enjoy the day!

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I’d tell him to go get fucked. Be done.

It use to be 6wks. But now the recommendation is 8wks. So I can see where the confusion has come in, but there’s no need for him to act like that. I’d still give her the pup, simple fact you wanted him to go to a good home and you know he will, at the age of 8weeks like you wanted and not sooner. Stick to your guns.

As for thanks giving I’d give it a miss and have a day off at home with your fam, like it sounds like you need

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Sounds like they are both too immature for a puppy. Honestly, if you’d prefer not to be around drama, don’t bother going. But, if you’re willing to forgive and move on (although I would be asking for an actual apology if this were myself before I could do so), then go.

A lot of the comments here are from petty minded people. It’s family, you go. Not going instigates you keeping your husband from his parents, if they die and he has no relationship with them, he will resent you. Put your pride in your pocket and go. Be civil. Be better than them. You chose your husband and unfortunately that’s the family he comes with. Go and be the better person and show them you don’t hold grudges

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I’d say just because they are family doesn’t mean you should put up with that level of disrespect! I’d say they can have the puppies because like you said all you care about is them going to a hood home. But as for family dinner I wouldn’t. Seems like that’s pointless drama that no one needs in there life. Hope it all works out! Good luck!

First of all I’ve raised 3 sons and blaming a 4 year old for your dog getting pregnant is messed up…NO that’s 100% on you… second of all you should have never taken the puppies over there at 6 weeks… you should have waited 8 and that train wreck waiting to happen couid have been avoided… third of all your father in law is a nut case & his behavior is completely unacceptable… I’m glad your husband is backing you up & your father in law owes you a HUGE apology & no I don’t think I would be going over there for thanksgiving…

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I wouldn’t go or give them a dog. If he treated u that way how’s he gonna treat a helpless puppy :face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth: his behavior is horrible and to not even have the all’s to apologize you for how HE behaved, instead reversing and saying u did what he did, what a man child :confused: fuck that

You were in the right. Puppies do need to stay with their mommas til they are 8 weeks old. Your in laws are wrong, they’re bullies and they’re brats and they’re apparently not used to hearing “no”.

It sounds like you did an awesome job setting your boundaries and sticking to them. I would just continue to calmly let them know what is and is not acceptable behavior. You will not be spoken to disrespectfully and you will pack up and go home if it happens again.

As for the puppy if you think they will provide a good home I’d give them the puppy. It would be nice to be able to see it and have it in the family.

As for the side business…guard your resources and seek legal advice before continuing to invest in anything not legally yours. Especially if your husbands father is disrespectful to you and your husband.

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I would not give them the puppy, they’ve proven themselves to not care about the puppies development. As a vet tech, the longer the puppy stays with its mother and siblings the better it will be growing up. And as for Thanksgiving, that’s up to you. I’ve gone to a family get together while there was a feud and I just ignored the person I was mad at and spent time with the family members I did care about.

I would stay home and host my own Thanksgiving. Who wants to be uncomfortable. Especially since you will be at their house…nope stay home!

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Stay home. Keep the pup.

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Dr. Phil addressed this: “I wouldn’t take my wife, or be around you until I knew you were truly sorry, and could show me how to respect my wife” phil McGraw…

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12 weeks before you rehomed pups.
Just cut your ties I say.

Just because it’s family doesn’t mean you have to tolerate being disrespected. I would tell them if they want the puppy than they need to apologize to you to your face. If they can’t muster up an apology than no puppy and cook your own thanksgiving or go and don’t speak with them. However I would think long and hard about giving a puppy to a man that can yell a woman like that when he gets mad…puppy’s get into everything…so if he can talk to a grown woman like that ide be concerned how he would yell/treat a puppy when it makes him mad!

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Family can be toxic too. They dont get a pass because they’re family, and they dont get a pass because they’re your inlaws either. Until they apologize , I wouldn’t go and if your husband u backing u up then he wouldn’t go either. My in laws are also trash, in a different way, but garbage none the less. So we decided to cut them out, our family and mental health matters more than DNA.

Create your own thanksgiving. Set your own family traditions. Some famiky are worse than enemies. Keep away from those that cannot respect you

Out of that whole scenario, I don’t get how you can blame a 4yr old for your dog falling pregnant!

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I wouldn’t go and I wouldn’t give them the pup

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“because of my 4 year old my dog got pregnant” ???

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Be glad you have the support of your husband and you are right about the time the puppies need to be with mom.

Ask your husband, who took sides with you, how would he like to handle THIS Thanksgiving.
How would you handle this if it would have happened in your family?

Dont miss Thanksgiving over a misunderstanding. The thing is, people fight…it happens everyday. Its how you behave afterwards that shows your character. Don’t let anybody make you feel bad enough to miss this time with your family. P.S. puppies can go from their mom at 6 weeks but ONLY if they are eating solid food on their own.

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Say you got other family you need to see this year :ok_hand: fuck them

I would let them come to thanksgiving. Idk about the puppy because I’m not there on my journey yet :woozy_face::joy: but you could let them have to puppy speak to your MIL and FIL about how you don’t appreciate being disrespected and move on

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I would talk to your husband about it and see how he feels. But I would probably skip going to thanksgiving this year and give the pup to someone else. He acted crazy.

Have your own Thanksgiving and share it with your dog and puppies! I’m so glad to hear that your husband is standing up for you.

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Well first thing that caught me off guard was that its your 4 yr old fault that your dog got pregnant?? Um ok!
Anyway, no i probably wouldn’t go if it was me, i wouldn’t give them the puppy at all & I probably wouldn’t have anything to do with them for awhile…
Kudos to you on standing your ground tho, no, the puppy shouldn’t leave their mother that early although lots of people do it… Its not right & shouldn’t be done no matter the size or breed.

So your own Thanksgiving… however just because FIL was a complete asshole about the puppy. Was MIL? If she stayed out of it… wasnt insulting you etc… still give her a puppy. It’s not fair to her just because he acted poorly. I’m so sorry you are in this situation

Also as an animal rights advocate I would like to thank you for doing the right thing for the puppy

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First…how is it a 4 year olds fault that your dog got pregnant???
Stay home…no pup for them. Never allow people to treat u horribly. I’m sorry that happened. Doesnt matter who it was, family or friend…disrespect is something that is just installed into the person, and that wont change.
Stay home with your family and do your own little Thanksgiving. We have before and it was so fun. We played some games and had a great meal. It was stress free. Do you…

coming from someone that has dealt with this dont see or speak to them until they change their attitude towards you and give you a real apology… that apology was him still blaming you… i hope your situation gets better. good luck

Okay, first of all, how was the the 4 year olds fault? Secondly, don’t go and don’t give them the puppy.

I would have my husband bring the pup to them, but I wouldn’t go to Thanh

I wouldn’t go to thanksgiving

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I would politely let them know you have other plans. Be courteously firm. Let their lack of courtesy be what stands out.

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Dont go and dont give them the puppy. Screw your FIL.

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If you dont want to be around them then domt be around them. It’s your choice and do what you feel comfortable with.

You are right, it is best for them to stay with their mother until they are 8-10 weeks old.
As for the rest…I would not go, and I would not give them the pup either.
I would be polite, but firm, about it.

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I’m more concerned about where their 4yo child was during the argument. :cry:

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Say your starting you own traditions now that baby is four. You choose to stay home .Tell him his puppy died ,and give to someone who isnt angry.

He’s act like that at other times too … heck no !!! Don’t go
I wouldn’t feel comfortable around him anyways after that… I’ve myself can’t stand a person in the family and don’t want anything to do with them… all the times we have helped them out got nothing in return only jealousy and ignorant…I was never comfortable in their house anyways feels like they were talking about me…
Just do the holidays with your husband and kids

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From a man’s point talk to your husband then follow your heart have a nice thanksgiving

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No puppy and no holiday with those horrid people!

I would never talk to them again. I wouldn’t want someone who can’t control their rage around myself or my children.

Accept ad see what the consequences are. Happy days or war, then feel free to improvise

Just stay away period ! And I never would trust them with a puppy, that poor bully will have a screaming life living with people like that. Not good.

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I wouldn’t go. I wouldn’t want to feel those feelings just being there. Do something else and enjoy yourself

Be proud that your husband stand by you on this and I wouldn’t go and instead do it with your own family it just stay home

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