I wish I could have a relationship with my mil she passed away 3 years after I married her son. Clear up all bad feelings, go to the party everyone else will see you for what you are, and see that she blew it out of proportion. You will feel worse if something were to happen and this was still between you. Remember there is a man who loves you both, for his sanity get the air cleared.
1 Like
Go and enjoy your sil and the party for a few minutes. Mil will probably be too busy to play with your son very much. Try not to put your husband in the middle having to choose between you and his mother. He should always back you but that’s an uncomfortable position to be in.
4 Likes
Nope, don’t go! Maybe see if you can take the sister on a “date” 
just because it’s family, doesn’t mean you have to suffer abuse. Nor the other crap.
2 Likes
Shot our situation is so similar just minus the bday party and I can’t even think clearly anymore about it.
1 Like
I would not go, she’s disrespected you and your family and spreading rumors and lies to make her seem like a victim wasn’t appropriate at all. Set your boundaries up now. Also since she tried to be violent at your sons bday I honestly wouldn’t let her around my children until she grows tf up. Good luck.
9 Likes
I’d call the daughter invite her 2 a bday lunch 4 u&ur son & pass the party. She wants things on her terms u gotta stand ur ground. My miL disliked me from day 1 & it lasted 40 yrs.l didn’t go 2 funeral why fake what we all knew.2 her l was never good enough 4 her son & he sided w his wife as he should have.the only thing she left me was a antique lamp l gave her 30 yrs ago & it arrived w the glass shade broken:cry:…lol l think that was her last kiss off 4 me not coming 2 her funeral…too funny tho.
Honestly I would go, my mil was tough also. It was her way and only her way. I spent one christmas literally by myself in the den because she was mad at me.
2 Likes
I’d go, smile and allow my child to see his family. Kill em with kindness. 
they ain’t gotta like you, and like you said, the little girl is innocent.
4 Likes
She even threstened me eith court because I guess there’s a law where you must allow visitation with grandparents. So now there’s zero visitation unless I get court papers. She ran a smear campaign to the whole family. I’m outcasted n I refuse to let their hate posion my son.
2 Likes
If you’re trying to be the bigger person then it shouldn’t matter what the others think nor say about you! You know the truth “why” let them bother you about it! Maybe you’re not ready to make amends with her bc she hasn’t came to see your son. And unless you forgive her for that you won’t be ready. Just know your son knows any child knows one doesn’t have show them for them to see nor feel for themselves!
3 Likes
Sometimes, holding on hurts worse than letting go. Never allow toxic people in your life. Family or not.
6 Likes
At least she apologized. Way more than my MIL has ever done. Go and enjoy 
2 Likes
If I was in your shoes I would stay away nun of what she is doing is unacceptable
2 Likes
Hold ur head up be the better person and go say your sorry even if your not it’s the right thing to do you can live with your self
2 Likes
Hear me out…Beat. her. Ass. Jk. But seriously dont go. No one deserves to be disrespected. U show up and youll look like a b*tch.
E ven if u were right you still respect ur elders
1 Like
I wouldnt go. Dont let anybody treat you like trash and if she doesn’t see your baby that’s her own fault.
4 Likes
I would go and if anyone said anything just make a mass announcement like you would a speech at a wedding tell them all what she did turn the tables on her so EVERYBODY ELSE CAN SEE WHAT TYPE OF WOMAN SHE REALLY IS! Trust me you will feel light as a feather and ALL EYES AND QUESTIONS WILL BE DIRECTED TO HER AND YOU can mic drop and 
out on the party! Sounds like you got the lady balls (GUTS) JUST DO IT!!! I say this bc I myself have found myself in a VERY similar situation but with a Grandmother!!! Needless to say her and I absolutely adore each other and she’s better to her GREAT GRANDCHILDREN than any of us ever imagined!!! Her and I are both Alfa females!!! But we worked it out bc I SPOKE MY PEACE WITH HER! In front of the whole family!!!
Ok I’ve been here with my step mil … she did the same to me. Dont go! It will get ugly with other family members as soon as you show up because of the lies. Cut your losses now cut them out. No drama and honestly best decision
3 Likes
I’d go for your son and the moment any drama starts leave
4 Likes
Personally, I would go… I understand the mixed feelings but as you stated, it is not the daughter’s fault. Even if she has said mean and hateful things about you, if you don’t go… she wins. Everyone will assume her lies are true and no one will have an opportunity to see the real you. The best revenge is to prove them wrong. My grandma taught me that. Plus I’m pretty spiteful and vindictive and believe my presence would piss people off more 
All jokes aside though, don’t stoop to her level of pettiness. Be the bigger person even though it’s hard. The truth will eventually come to surface and the satisfaction that comes with that is worth far more than a couple hours of discomfort. Good luck Mama
5 Likes
Let her know that you never unwelcomed her from coming to see him. And talk to your SO about the possibility of going, and if they become rude/hostile, politely excuse yourself and pack your family up and leave
1 Like
Send your husband with your son and stay home yourself.
I’d go with my head held high and show them Who I am. If things get tough, leave… with your head still held high. That means you went and tried to be the bigger person and if things go bad it still won’t be your fault.
I’d go for the kids.
If it were me in ur shoes I wouldn’t go. Gives me anxiety jus thinking about the tension. Iv been in those situations but I get there make an appearance make an excuse to leave and I’m out lol but that me I cant handle those situations. As for the mil thing I mean u need to make it clear her actions need to stop the lieing, starting drama even almost physical fights. Either she stops or she out ur family life like that’s how I would personally do it
2 Likes
Any adult who tries to hit me would not be anywhere around my children. Clearly, they’re not stable. You don’t have to subject yourself to abuse because they’re family. That’s not how adulthood works.
Also, I know there may be more to this story but I’m curious what your husband thinks in all this. Why isn’t he the one making the decision to protect his family?
4 Likes
By staying away you will never improve things. If she is the source of the problem…then going, acting like the bigger person, and trying to have and maintain relationship with other family members is the productive thing to do. Don’t participate in bad or rude behavior when there. If she is convincing family that you are so horrible and you are avoiding interaction with them. There is not good behavior on your part to counterdict her claims. You are empowering her and giving her free rein to bad mouth you. And where is your significant other? He should be able to speak to his mother. If she is disrespecting you she is disrespecting him.
2 Likes
I think if my mother in law ever tried to put her hands on me I’d cut her out of mine and my kids lives. If she wants to see your son she shouldn’t have acted like that. What’s immature of you is feeling like you have to consider her in anyway. You are not a child and she is not in charge. Dont invite chaos into your life.
1 Like
I wouldn’t go. I was recently invited to a party. My MIL and her family will be there. I’m not going. I like not being in jail.
1 Like
Hey you’ve got an excuse to send the kids to a party & have some you time 
Nope, you don’t need to be around anyone who doesn’t respect you. If she has lied to the point where that side of the family doesn’t like you, you AND your child do not need to be around that woman. You should also have a sit down with your husband and maybe ask him to talk to his mother about respecting you.
My dear, I’ve never cared what others thought of me, and I’ve not died from it, if you aren’t comfortable w/ her, don’t go!! I won’t go anywhere I’m not comfortable, so why should you!! If she cares enough she’ll make the effort, f she doesn’t it’s her loss!!!
4 Likes
Don’t go 
She doesn’t really care and the more you take her shit, kids or not, the more she will expect you to keep doing so. Cut the shit now and move on with life
Think it’s time to be an adult and suck it up to make things right for your whole family. Yes, she is your family now whether you like it or not.
1 Like
GASLIGHTING NARCISSIST - get professional psychological help
4 Likes
Go. Act like nothing is wrong. Be sweet. Maybe they will think she is crazy. Be the bigger person. If she try’s to start something say sorry u feel that way and walk away! Been there.
3 Likes
Send your husband and your son.
That’s what I would do. That he is there but you don’t have to take him.
Go for a hour or so, then say you have an appointment or a pervious engagement
1 Like
You should grow up. Who acts like a fool at their kid’s party? Ridiculous.
3 Likes
My MIL is a douche too. Don’t go eff em.
You can go and if it feels like shit is gonna hit the fan just leave
Jeez. That’s hard. I’ve been in a similar situation. My MIL hated me, as after yrs of running around, her golden boy finally married me! That said, I often tried and made an effort
Then learnt not to care about what others thought of me. As she said all sorts to the family.
People that got to know me knew I was alright.
She never changed. Before she died!
I’m now happily divorced and her sons a twat. Still to this day! Do what you feel is right.
5 Likes
Something i have learned from having been married before… Pick your battles. Show up to the party for the daughter and if anyone has anything negative to say tell them not the place or time and walk away.
2 Likes
If your all good been treated like that then go- because her treating you that way will not stop no matter what you do or how hard you try. If you dont want to accept been treated like that now or ever again then do not go! And dont allow anyone else to convince you otherwise. Who gives a shit what other people think. Ive wasted alot of my life like this with my own mother. Not anymore and i am finally feeling happier for it.
Yeah don’t go. How old is your sister in law maybe take her out before or after the party to celebrate with her and explain you don’t want to cause any issues at her party that should be about her. Some people just don’t get along and that’s ok.
2 Likes
Where is your husband in all this? His mom, his problem. If his family is sending hate your way he needs to man up and handle it
3 Likes
This scenario, this issue, is a tiny, should I say miniscule, part of your whole life. Don’t let this ruin your entire week, your entire month, your entire year, your entire life. Do what you wanna do as long as you’re not hurting anybody. Be so grateful for your life that you don’t dive into negativity so easily. That is all.
1 Like
Stay away from the bitch
This is a hard one. To me. None of us know what caused the altercation. That being said, I’d go. Stay civil. No need for drama and childish behaviour. Talk to those that she has spoken ill of you to, be happy! Don’t allow others to put you down. You get questions, you might hear comments, fuck them. What others think of you is not your business. People will hate you regardless of what you are doing in your life, whether it be good or bad. So, just stand strong, attend the party for your sister in-law and tell your husband, if you haven’t already, to shut his mother and family up🤷
I’d say go to the girls birthday …stay long enough for a happy birthday and a gift and show you care enough to come say it in person … if she is like this she will be nice to your face at the party and as soon as you leave it will be back to “that bitch” Just keep it about your son YOU don’t have to have a relationship with her the only one that matters is your child
I wouldn’t go! Ive had my fair share of issues and just decided I’m an adult and make my own choices for my own sanity and don’t put myself in those positions anymore. If you have your own car drive yourself. Say happy birthday drop off a gift and bounce when you feel you have had enough
I’d get a sitter and go as a united couple. I took my daughter to an engagement party to please his mother and I so regret it, wasn’t at all the environment for such a small baby.
Grow up & be the adult. What do you mean her time only? Opossed to your time only? Why not ask her if she would like to spend some time & when will that time be OK THEN compromise & meet in the middle. Maybe she hasn’t asked because shes afraid of objection & as far as the party goes …she put out the invite… so GO. IF she hadn’t invited you would be upset at that. Stop being petty and put it all behind you and move forward. Your child deserves their grandparents. Somebody needs to give and by the fact you said she has invited to a bithday party she is given I’d say shes has already done it. So go…start fresh and compromise on visiting with your children & the grandmother.
Ur husband should be standing up to her and the family. I wouldn’t go and go out to lunch or something with the birthday girl. It will get to her more if she knows you won’t play her games. Good luck.
The birthday is to celebrate someone else. If you want to celebrate that person your sister in law then go celebrate her and be mature. It isnt time for family drama its a day to celebrate the birthday girl so hopefully all parties can respect that. There will always be people who dont like you but if you just stay true to who you are people find in in time if they care enough to form their own opinion. And if not their loss. Its definetly tough for sure and I wouldnt want to be in that position i cant handle toxic people I cut them out if at all possible and when I cant I am strictly civil and that is it and only when have to be.
5 Likes
Sounds like you have serious boundary issues with your entire in-law family, which is your husband’s clan. 
It’s probably time to take a time out from all family events. Work on your marriage boundaries and see if a good marriage counselor can get to the root of the ongoing power struggle. Be cordial by sending a bouquet of flowers delivered by a florist to the birthday girl, who is your sister-in-law (??).
Show them how good you are. Act like no bad blood
Unless she has been violent towards your baby let her see him but with only you or your husband in the room
I would reach out to the birthday girl and maybe suggest one day you all take her out to dinner, or do something special for her outside of this party. Your MIL is completely in the wrong and I wouldn’t step foot into her house until she clears the air.
2 Likes
I say go and let your son see his Dad’s family. Yes, it will be awkward because of the things that were said but just keep your head held high and don’t say anything negative to ruin the day. I would just keep to myself and if it gets too uncomfortable to be there you can leave that way it’s not said that you didn’t even bother to show up and whatever else they want to add to it. Good luck
6 Likes
I have lived this. I went to everything for years. My kids saw how my husband’s family treated me. I really tried to be the bigger person. But I’m the end after 20 years of their crap. I was done. I haven’t gone to any thing in years. And I feel so much better for it.
5 Likes
It’s not about being the bigger person. It’s about your peace of mind and wellbeing. Have you spoken with your SIL? How does she feel about you? Has her mother poisoned her against you?
If your MIL has made the environment toxic for you do not attend. There are other ways for you to celebrate your SIL outside of the confides of your MIL’s home. Both you and your husband can take her out to dinner or send a gift with your love.
4 Likes
I use to have this issue too. My x would run to his sister and friends and talk crap and then when I didn’t wanna be around those people it was the end of the world. Your mil is going to have to mend some bridges before she can espect you to be all about coming to family events. She needs to sit down and fix this if she doesn’t then I would stay away
3 Likes
I would hold my head high and go. Do not let her think she got the best of you or that she can break you. Act like you don’t give a f___ about it. Don’t let her think she can control what you do
My personal opinion is that I wouldn’t go or have any contact with MIL and the family that dislikes you. You’re happiness/sanity is just as important. Sometimes ties need to be cut. Toxic people need to go.
19 Likes
Be firm and tell the air needs to be cleared and she needs to own up to the lies she has told if she isn’t willing to work this out it’s her loss and of course your son will miss out on having grandma in his life
1 Like
I would be mature and go. Its not that serious that anyone misses anymore time. Who cares what other people think.
Until your mil is willing to sit down with you and talk to settle this then no I wouldn’t go but I would send the birthday girl a nice gift
2 Likes
If the MIL is so deranged that she would start an almost physical altercation at a 1 year olds birthday party then I’d say keep your distance and keep your kids away from her.
I think it may be in your best interest to not go. Why put yourself in that position .
I feel your pain. I wouldn’t go. Jmo. You can Always go another day.
1 Like
My opinion is that your husband should be the one settling this. It’s HIS mother and he shouldn’t be having you defend yourself solo. He should also talk to the rest of the family and honestly hun if you are not comfortable with going then dont… but warning she will be bad mouthing you regardless and use this as more fuel to the fire!
Damned if you do…damned if you don’t! But also keep in mind you can use this time to also prove her wrong as well… let those other family members see that you aren’t what she is saying and whole you think that they might all be on her side…well they might not be ya know?
Do whatever you feel is right and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise ! If she is gutsy enough to start a almost physical fight and your son’s 1st birthday I kinda cringe to think what she would do at her daughters birthday party ya know?
4 Likes
I understand completely what you are going through doesn’t make sense but you want to marry into this family and by you being the bigger person in this issue just might make the others in the family be less critical about you and your family
i would go ,if it gets shitty all you have to do is leave
Go!!! It doesn’t mean you have to be best buddies with anyone, but life is too short to hold grudges. But as far as the family that believes the lies… let them keep believing them, the truth will unfold.
1 Like
Refuse to be bullied. Send a her a gift off of Amazon or something in the mail.
1 Like
I wouldn’t talk to her anymore. You had a discussion. Leave it at that
1 Like
Kill them all with kindness and show them how good of a person you really are… And if someone tries pushing your buttons just smile and nod and take some deep breathes through the fake smile
1 Like
Nope I wouldn’t go and I wouldn’t allow any of them near my child. Don’t allow people who don’t like you near your child.
2 Likes
I’d go just to show everyone that the shit they say isn’t true.
1 Like
I’d go and prove her wrong!
1 Like
What does your husband say?
All these posts from My Kids Are So Loved are to cause drama between a lot of people, theyre just random comments & questions
I would just write her off
First and foremost did you except her apologie? And if so are bygones bygones with you because it sounds like their not and how does your wife feel about you not going to her mother’s birthday party she’s having because you know everyone that’s going talks crap about you. If she’s ok with you not going then it shouldn’t be an issue for you to stay away. I’ve always said you can pick your mate but you can’t pick your mates family and if grandma wants to only see her grandchildren on her time that actually is her choice but if her time is not the right time you well tough shit for her