So my boyfriend and I have beautiful kids together and our biggest argument for our relationship is money… Because he just doesn’t like to work, I am the main provider and i make the most money. But one of my friends work with him and he’s always volunteering to take work off, and it’s like all these bills are due and it’s starting to tire me down… I’ll work 14-15 days in a row just so i can stay ahead because he’s constantly missing work and taking it off. But doesn’t see a problem in it… It’s so exhausting. I’m tired of it. Then here comes taxes and he feels like he should be able to claim a child because he’s their dad, which i don’t think he should. So am i over doing it or do y’all think he should claim a child too…
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I guess i need to vent and not feel attacked for once - Mamas Uncut
I’m in the same boat minus kids I just am cutting him off my stuff comes first !! You need to boot his butt out and take care of them kids ! If y’all live in the same house hall can file together !
If you’re paying all the bills, then you should claim the kids. There is no reason as to why he should get anything when he’s not paying for anything.
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You need to talk to him
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The IRS literally states if you are not married, live together and have children, the parent who made the most claims the children
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Nope you claim your children not him especially since he wants to keep volunteering to take work off or missing it. You’re the one who’s working 14-15 days in a row and you’re probably the one who takes the kids to the doctors or appointments babysitters school etc so I think you should claim your children and do it before he does.
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The man should be providing. You shouldn’t be worrying yourself too death and still not able to pay the bills. That’s not fair. And as for claiming them it should be you and you should be saving it for emergencies in an account he can’t touch
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A big NO but he doesn’t help with chores either.
File the way you want it. It’s your tax credit. Filing taxes is not even necessary, they actually decides your worth. I don’t file taxes because I live in a free country.
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You’re the main provider… you definitely should be the one to claim. Imo
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NO he should not claim a child. You are the main breadwinner and he wants a free ride. He can’t be that great if he doesn’t want to work and help provide for his kids.
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I’d be like remember every time you took off and didn’t work and I had to work twice as hard this is my compensation I would verbally unload on his head just saying
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Why are you with him. He is using you and your already paying all the bills anyway. Tell him to get lost.
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You should claim him as a child. No- you don’t get extra miney unless you’re putting in extra effort. If it’s gonna be like that claim all of your exemptions at the beginning of the year - so that refund is small ( you’ll get it in your check) and tell him grow up or get out
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The main provider is the one who gets to claim the kids. If he wants to claim one then he needs to provide as much as you
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Claim the kid. Your the highest earner
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He is only doing what he knows he can get away with. You have not made it a requirement that he do better. Change what you allow in your life, and IF he wants to be part of it, he will do better. As for the taxes, I wouldn’t see how he couldn’t claim one.
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Oh my. I had a relationship similar. Didn’t want to work. Rather stay drunk n I worked. Gentle hugs and prayers. No he shouldn’t be able to claim anything if he doesn’t contribute
I think you need to toughen up. It takes 2 people to create a child, that is supposed to be 2 people taking responsibility, you are already doing more than enough with working 14 hour days and he has been getting away with his lazy behaviour for long enough! Put your foot down and think about your children long term…what would he do to provide for his child if you took unwell and couldn’t work through exhaustion?? He is lazy and expects to get money for doing nothing. Unless there is something physically or mentally wrong with him, he should be out earning!!
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You claim the children he is a asshole I was in same situation he never paid mortgage did put a diaper on both kids ass but wanted it all very abusive physically and mentally I got divorce had a liver transplant with complications and his girlfriend said to me we will be glad when your dead kick to gut which I think injury to liver began and the law tend to defend these Freddie the free loaders and dead beat so called dad’s get rid of him asap he is a perfect asshole:+1:
As long as you are providing and paying the bills and not saying anything your great person but mess up and you pay for for rest of your life
I wouldn’t let him, what he need all that money for and your the one working paying bills. You need it not him
Find another man too
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Nope. No way… You should claim the children and his sorry ass
He is not fully committed to you and the kids. Because if he was, he would be also be providing. Is he planning for their future? Saving for college? Saving for holidays? He is simply being taken care of BY YOU. think wisely about whether you want to be with this person.
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Let it go you’re already doing everything by yourself he’s not bringing anything to the table and he sure as hell doesn’t deserve tax money he DIDN’T earn/work for.
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Well legally speaking if you pay more than half the costs of upkeep in the home and for the children then you should carry them as your dependents.
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It sounds like you should be able to claim him as a child. So the answer would be no to your question.
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Quit letting him step all over you. He barley works. So no he shouldn’t claim a child.
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Does he work at looking after his children or cooking, cleaning, and taking them to appointments? Does he look after them when they’re sick Does he contribute other ways?
claim your kids ma!
especially if you can prove you made the most during taxes.
boot him out too while your at it, bc you already know your done with him mentally, so now it’s the physical removal
good luck
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You should claim him as a dependent at this point 
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Throw the whole man out!!! These men are a trip!!!
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He barely works, so if he does not clean, take care of kids, cook food, do laundry and keep the kids clean, then no, he doesn’t get the right to any benefits what do ever.
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Id show him the door and a child support order.
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You should claim the children. If he doesn’t want to work, I truly hope he’s being a good house bitch then.
I think you should be able to claim him as a child too!
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Noooopeeee I would not. My daughter’s dad’s the same way and I told him no cause i make more money I take care of everything I’m filing as head of household and he can go f**k himself if he thinks any different. The difference between mine and yours is mine won’t get a job but also doesn’t want me to work. My jobs amazing so I make like 900 in 3 days and I only work like 25 hours a week which isn’t bad don’t get me wrong but it does become extremely tiresome when I’d like extra money to do things with my children and I can’t because of limited financial support. I also get no breaks with my children. I work come home before I get in the door they’re already mine to deal with and the whole time before I leave in the morning they are also mine to deal with up until I walk out the door. All that being said there’s no way in hell my daughter’s dad will be claiming her. My children have different fathers and my son’s dad’s not in our lives so he’s mine regardless but I do everything for this house and these kids & that man. He’s a stay at home dad with out all the responsibilities of a stay at home dad 
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At this point he’s a dependent too. He needs to stop being lazy and expecting taxes and you to take care of him
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Sounds like you should be claiming all the children INCLUDING him
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Claim your kids and head of household
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Nah you’re the one paying out for all of their needs. Get your taxes filed asap with them and then look at dropping him bc he’s just using you.
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Nope. If he is not willing to put in the effort to support them, he doesn’t get to claim them just so he gets more money so he can work even less.
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You claim any/all kids and kick him out.
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You let him — tell him either help or move you are not his mommy
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Girl keep that money and pay your bills up for the next 6 months give his ass an ultimatum either shape up or ship out
If he was consistently supporting them then yes. But as it is nope…personally I feel you’d get further in life financially if you kicked him out and served him child support papers. Think how much money you could save if you weren’t feeding him paying for his use of utilities and what ever other habits he has…
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You better claim that child if you’re paying all the bills. It would be a mistake to allow him to claim the kids.
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Get rid of him. He is like an extra child to take care of and he"s an adult. This takes time and $$ from your actual kids. Your already doing it by yourself you don’t need him.
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Sweety… You have nothing holding you back. You are already providing for your kids. You can do this alone until you find a man who will work just as hard for you and your babies:heart:
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My sons take great pride in caring for their families and work so hard. My oldest told me if they ever got a divorce (they more than likely won’t but I know they love each other and their kids) that he’d live under a bridge in a cardboard box and give them everything he earned to take of his kids. THAT is a man!
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I think you should do however the household get the most back… assuming all money is joint money. But if you were to split he would claim either one every year or every other depending on judgement so just food for thought.
He can only claim if he’s provided over HALF the financial support for a child.
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Tell him you pay for them you claim them…. Oh wait he doesn’t pay for them so no claiming them
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If the child is his, let him. You claim one and head of household and he claim one.
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your live in boarder is a child in a mans body you need to kick him to the curb he is taking full advantage of you parenthood is a partnership he is taking all the spoils and you are letting him. He has not even put a ring on you he is just another mouth to feed. You need to find someone else who will fully appreciate you and be am equal money earner.Period.
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You’re the one supporting and paying more than 50%. You have the legal right to claim all your children, not him. Claim them first so he won’t be eligible to do so.
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He is dragging you down.
He needs to be accountable and help you or tell him to leave.
You are making it too easy for him
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I would communicate with him and tell him to buck up or gtfo. He is responsible for the health and well being of his children just as much as you are. There is no sense in the world as to why you are having to do most of this on your own. I would claim the babies and kick his ass to the curb
Not a friggin chance
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Of course your upset prices are sky high thanks to are government it gets worse everyday everyone’s upset if he does not see it your screwed you have to pull together let the lights go off and tell him you can’t pay the bill drastic measures give him fish sticks. Please let him feel the crunch He is not a bad man he’s just a brat
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Honey he ain’t love you if he’s just about money and his time off.
If you all were on the street would he be there with you?
If you are doing it on your own then kick him to the curb and do it on your own. You’ll be much happier believe me. BELIEVE IT.
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Women are funny. Start off meeting theses bums and taking them home thinking they can change them. Naw he was a bum when you met him and he’ll be a bum when you leave him. Love it or leave it and as far as those taxes are concerned, doesn’t matter who claims the kid the bum will still benefit.
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Sounds like you are doing everything alone, and you have an extra child to deal with instead of a partner…
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Useless. My husband just worked 50 hours this week. He worked today. I didn’t even want him too. Find a man who provides.
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Do your taxes on your own with it both ways and see which one is better and do it that way but put the money in your account and send him a certain amount and keep the rest for you kids
Money will get you every time!! Money wins! DONT LET MONEY GET BETWEEN YOU BOTH.
People will do anything for money.
I get it…we all need money to live, take care of our families and pay the bills.
My advice, Why don’t you find out why he’s doing what he’s doing. Why he takes days off and time off. Ask more questions and maybe there could be a reason why he does it.
As far as him claiming a child, why not?
Do you both live together?
Do you both take care of the children?
Do you both provide for the babies? You might provide more but sometimes it’s like that.
I’m not being negative or against you, I’m just trying to see from both sides.
From my experience, during my divorce I claimed both babies. I worked and went to school. It definitely helped and it was a good bonus at the end of the year. It helped my savings account grow and I used it for emergency’s.
He was around but not. I bought him groceries and paid for all their stuff when they went with him and paid medical out of pocket bills and meds. He did have insurance for them which was great. He bought them clothes and shoes when they needed it. But for the most part it was me.
Their dad asked me to claim one kid after 2 years of him not. He came to me and asked me, I didn’t want him to because I did it all and it wouldn’t have been fair to me. But then I thought, why not?
They are his kids. It’s just money. I agreed to let him claim one. It helped him so much at the end of the year. I know it’s not my problem, but it’s also ok to be kind and help even though the other isn’t kind or helps.
I know others can say “leave him, keep it, don’t let him have anything, claim them first” ……Make this decision without the money.
Is he a better dad and boyfriend then a better provider? I mean these days both couples split rolls. He can provide in different ways.
It’s not for everyone.
My husband now is amazing. He works, does house work and takes care of the kids too.
But I also provided for him and us when he couldn’t. That’s how relationships work.
It’s for better and worse (I know he is your boyfriend)
Try to figure out why he is like this. ((Sorry for the long response))
Prayers for you and your situation.
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No, no no he doesn’t claim any of the children you do. Claim them first so he can’t. Your doing most of the work load.
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Hell no & don’t share $$ with him either if he’s not contributing he doesn’t get the benefit or leave him
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Nope. You claim them. He not doing his 50% share of work. Your not wrong.
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Are you happy with him in your life ? First question . Clearly you can prob make it in your own if your doing most of it yourself anyway. Sit down and think about how things would be with out him in your life …. Less stress ? If he is not working as a team player in your marriage then why is he there ?! Marriage or a real action ship is a full time job for both parties!!! If he is not bringing his half to the table then why is he there ?! Sounds like your hard working find someone who will appreciate that and treat you the way you should be treated
I was married to one of those, ended up with nothing but bills, when I finally had enough. Took me 17 years, to get enough guts, get out with my 2 girls. Years later, I still look back and regret, wasting my best years, with such a looser. Get rid of him, you will do much better, for you and the kids.
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Looks like your doing it on your own so you might as well tell him to move out… you won’t be looking after him too… NO you claim the children…
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You also have a grown man who is acting as a dependent. He is choosing to be a drain on resources that should be going toward the needs of his children. Shame on him. Stop putting up with this foolishness. Send his sorry behind home to his mother.
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Does he contribute in other ways? Does he do the primary child care, most of the cooking, cleaning, repairs, car and/or yard maintenance? Makes the schedules and takes the kids to doctor visits, sports, is in the PTA? Teaches them useful things, handles the potty training? That might justify his claiming a child. OTOH, if he’s largely useless, cite the IRS rules that you claim them as the primary wage earner. You’ll also have to file fast and first. Once you claim them he can’t.
Maybe get his friends, family, clergy, co-workers to encourage him to step up or he’ll lose you and the kids if all he hears when you talk is “blah, blah, blah.”
Was he always this way or has it gotten worse? Can y’all cut back on expenses if he is wonderful in every other way? Maybe cook and eat at home more, eat more vegetarian meals (better for the earth and your health too), take advantage of more free entertainment, cut back on cable or other services, use LED bulbs, live in a cheaper home, get a car that’s less expensive or requires less maintenance, see if he can pick up a less stressful side hustle or work from home job, shop at thrift stores (also better for the environment).
Why doesn’t he work more? Lazy, depressed, afraid of failure, never needed to support himself & doesn’t see a reason to, responsibilities overwhelm him, doesn’t have the skills, not willing to learn? Is he even capable of improvement?
Try couples counseling first to see if you can change the balance of labor, income and improve communication. Get yourself in counseling separately where you can learn more effective ways to deal with his personality and behavior. Discuss the pros and cons of staying with him and decide what you want for the rest of your life. Maybe separating, getting child support and co-parenting would be a better option. Or not. It’s up to you.
Maybe find a financial counselor to help you both set a realistic budget and plan to have enough in the future. It might help him see what needs to be done. If he’s just mooching off if you, it might be time to cut your losses. Good luck! Hope things get better whatever you decide. 
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Claim him as a dependent since he wants to act like a child 
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Unless he is the primary caregiver to your children and staying home for that reason, he should be out there working just as hard as you do.
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Leave him so he can learn that he has to work to live.
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Yeah…… I would leave…
Go to work or look for a new home. Simple as that x
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Nope u shld if u r doing most of the work. If he was a sahp then yes cuz we dont get pd to take care of our own but if he just lazy u claim them.
Sorry “NO”…that money is for you and the kids…sounds to me your bloke needs a kick up the arse…he’s not being team player and not helping you at all…your working your arse off and you will soon be burnt out…which can’t happen your the glue that holds things together…it’s not fair on you at all.on a personal level I kick his arse out.
You get the taxes pay the bills and any left put in a emergency account
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There’s no way I can be with a man that doesn’t wanna work. I get that they have mental problems too or get depressed and things like that. But what would he do if you suddenly died or something? What would he do about providing for the kids? He’d have to boss up and go to work. If he’s grown enough to lay down and make kids then he needs to be man enough to go to work and provide for them as well. You need to send him back home to mama cuz she clearly ain’t done raising that one yet. And claim them kids on YOUR taxes. Forget him girl.
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And your stil with him?
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Claiming a child is not a parental right . The one who supports them is .
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Ohhh hell no I wouldn’t even let my ex claim a child of ours only because he don’t work he sits at home smoking complaining about his back AND ALWAYS IN HIS FONE that ain’t watching no child at all
He only had his house for like a month maybe 2months idk can’t remember
But he’ll to the no don’t your partner claim child
If you are the primary wage earner, you claim them. That’s the IRS rules. Look it up.
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No… ur right… stick to ur guns… make sure u don’t pay any of his bills or luxurys… if anything needs to be dropped from the household make sure its his stuff… lazy a hole
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Tricky. Cuz he worked too but maybe you should have a strait talk with him first. Tell him your feelings. As a sahm I’ll tell you child care is a hard job. If he holds it down at home while his work hours lack. Then it seems he’s pulling his weight and you guys need to communicate a work balance that will sit well with both of you.
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He doesn’t want to work however he wants to claim the kids?!? Girl, he’s stupid. Claim your kids. I would give him 2 choices, either man up and get a job- don’t call in, or good bye. You don’t need a grown kid I. Your house
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He wants your $ no boy maybe give him a hundo not even
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no tell him take off that thought like he does work! Lazy suck!
Well if that child has lived with him for over half the year, working or not he does have a right to claim the child.
Who’s watching the kids so you can work?
School
Daycare
Him
Babysitter
I don’t want to be rude but why are you still with the man. It’s like taking care of another child
Is he doing any housekeeping, care of the children, contributing to the care of the family?
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He’s lazy. You claim them!
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I couldn’t be with him. Just nope.
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You…do…NOT…need him. You claim them. And make him leave. He serves no purpose is ehat im hearing im sorry. If youre doin it all by yourself anyway and he has no drive to do better or DOESnt to provide then no maam. Just NO!
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Its only a tax exemption. You want to pay less in taxes. Figure out how much you would lose either way. Did you opt out of the Biden child tax stimulus? If not, you’re going to want to claim them. If you received a monthly check from the Fed government you will not get this in the form of a refund as you have already received it, but you still need to claim them for the tax debt calculations.
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