I had a hysterotomy due to cancer and am upset that I will not be pregnant again: Advice?

I had a hysterectomy 3 years ago. Sounds like I am older though. I haven’t regretted it. If they took both ovaries, you might have gone right into menopause. He left one of mine, so I had no problems, with that. It will get better.

I don’t mean this to sound cold because that’s not what I want. Instead of focusing on what your body can’t do anymore, focus on the longer life that you have because the cancer is no longer in your body, focus on your children and the fact that you will around longer for them. You have your health and that is something other pray for. Don’t take for granted the gift that you have been given. It’s ok to grieve the loss or your uterus but don’t stay in that grief.

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It’s hormones. Perhaps a naturopath dr could give you some bioidentical replacements.

I had the sa.e happen but I already had three kids. I didn’t like the thought it was cancer and it do a lot of changes to my body. Being older it didn’t bother me if I couldn’t ha e more kids. Your I’m assuming younger. You mention having a child now. All I can say is give yourself time for your body to adjust… Enjoy your child and if things are still so difficult talk to your doctor.

Hi Sweetheart!
I’m a NCMA
(National Certified Medical Assistant)
I have never worked in the field of OBGYN, but I believe (I could be wrong) you immediately go into menopause after a “complete” hysterectomy.

So it would NOT be odd, for your emotions to be high.

I would suggest, making an appointment. And just for future reference, it’s NEVER strange or not ok, to seek for your own mental, emotional, or physical health!

If I feel it necessary … I will do it (and have) in a New York second!

Be your own best advocate. You know your body better than anyone. The worst that can happen, is that you were over cautious. :woman_shrugging:

I think it’s your hormones playing apart along with being upset that you can’t left your 18 month old. I had a hysterectomy in November and I was a little sad just knowing I couldn’t have more but I thought about I tried to think of all the positives about having my hysterectomy. Now when my son was born a long time ago and I went in for a procedure that ended up being worse and I couldn’t lift him I cried a lot, I felt bad, it broke my heart when he wanted me to pick him up and I couldn’t and I couldn’t do certain things like climb on the floor with him.

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It gets better, but do not lift anything until the Dr says. I am speaking from experience.

I was unable to have another child after my son due to our blood mixing while pregnant and causing our anti bodies to attack each other’s, but I was devastated knowing that the option was taking away from me( not that I was planning either) but it does good better I kept telling my self I am very thankful to have had him and that we both survived and I am able to be a mom. Keep your head up and keep telling herself that your thankful you became a mom and then got the cancer instead of not ever becoming a mom!! It’s hard and I promise that you will get through it!! Prayers

Give yourself time to grieve. That surgery took away your option of having more children (whether you wanted anymore right now or not). You’re allowed to be sad and work through your feelings.

I went through a similar grieving process when I found out I can’t have kids at all. I always wanted to be a Mom. It took away that dream for me and I had to let it go, thus the grieving process. It wasn’t meant to be.

Some of that grief will always be there because your choice was taken away but you learn to live with it and try to move on.

I have ovarian cysts… only birth control helps… but other than that my best bet is to take my ovaries out… which means I can’t have kids… and I have two littles and that gets me emotionally. Everyone goes well at least you have 2. And yes I’m the most grateful but its something deep down that puts me down just the thought I’ve have 2 surgeries due to my cysts rupturing. So if I have to do surgery one more time I’ve decided they are coming out. But I totally understand you to a perfect T !!!

I went through that
Dr did not give me any hormone pills when I was discharged
Called him up crying & saying What Did You do to Me. He immature called in some hormone meds & felt allot better

I think it is hormone issues…with cancer you probably would have never had children…but at least you are alive and could possibly adopt

Do you still have ovaries?

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I had a hysterotomy due to cancer and am upset that I will not be pregnant again: Advice?

It is completely normal you just lost a big part of you that makes you female and that makes hormones in your body and nurtured your babies. Cancer is pretty devistating to have. People will tell you to count your blessings your cancer free but they do not understand that if you have not decided to end your family and had it suddenly and tragically end for you your choice to concieve another little miricale they will never understand that devistating feeling of loss and guilt you feel over it. Sure you can adopt and foster children and that is a great way to heal and I eventually did this but it hurts and you grieve for years over it. I still have painful memories of it. People who love babies and want big families and cant have them understand your struggle… :heart:

I’m so sorry for what you had to go through. It’s extremely difficult to cope with a thing like that however I would try to focus on the fact that you will live a long life and will be able to watch your beautiful child grow. You will be able to pick them up again and you will feel better it will just take time. Good luck to you!

yes you may not be able to have another biological child, but have you considered, especially if it the mothering instinct playing a bigger role in the way you feel…how about adopting a child

Take time to grieve the loss of your womb . I had a hysterectomy and gynaecologist asked me a few weeks later how I was feeling and told me to take the time to grieve as it is a big loss . I sat and wrote it all down and yes in time it will get better .

you have been thrown into menopause- your hormones are crazy- it will get better eventually. I am thankful you do have an 18 mo old to cherish. find a stepstool for your child && she him how to get up on the couch so you can snuggle. Don’t ever forget there are other options like fostering or adoption :heart: best wishes for you & your family

I wish you all the best. I had cancer at 28 had 4 children already so I figured it would be great. Well was I wrong. I can say I was crazy for about 8 years. Loss My career. Got Divorced. Done the most crazies things, looking back. Thank God I got off all the pills they had me on. Took control of my life. Rededicated my life to the lord. Now I’m happy and Thriving. I pray you find peace. Hug them babies.

It’s a normal response I glad you don’t have cancer anymore but I am sad fir you that you won’t be able to get pregnant again my heart goes out to you. God bless you sseetie

I had a hysterectomy due to me getting my tubes tied (Not by choice to have them tied and was forced to)after having my second son.

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I also had one in 2002 after my daughter was born and i did the same thing but i also had hot flashes you will get through it …sending prayers to u

I had a hysterectomy when I was 28 and felt the same way, it does get better, just takes some time to accept

I had a hysterectomy not bc of cancer, but bc I was severely anemic. Same feelings. I don’t really have advice, but just wanted to validate your feelings. No one really understood my pain, but it was real, and you’re not alone in having those feelings. :heart:

My mom has had this problem, but not from a hysterectomy. Just from getting to menopause. Her doctor told her it’s a normal feeling! I think hers has gotten better. My mom is 42, and know she doesn’t need to have anymore kids lol but just the thought of not being able to was really hard for her. She cried a lot

From a medical standpoint I imagine your feelings are heightened due to hormones shifting now. Not to discount the feeling of not being able to be pregnant again but looking into balancing hormones might help with the overwhelming-ness of the emotions! I didn’t think I would be able to have more for about six years and it is a tough feeling! Then I had a “surprise” after I started back to school and that came with a whole different set of tough feelings! However you feel about any of it is completely valid and as good as people’s intentions are- more often than not people will say things that don’t really help. Give them and yourself grace and give yourself time. If the feelings continue or intensify- seek therapy. It will be far more helpful and focused on you than well meaning people who end up making you feel worse!

honey tell your doc should be on some pills anyway 4 this

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I am so sorry for your loss… you could always foster babies … you can get a foster care license through the state or your local tribe

That is a completely normal way to feel. You will eventually work through your feelings and it will get better. I am a loss Mom and know so many women that have struggled with fertility and or have lost their only child and now find that they cannot have another one. You are not alone there’s so many of us out there. It doesn’t make it any better but you shouldn’t feel alone. Some of these women never get to have a living child it’s very sad to see but unfortunately I have learned is very common. Just take care of yourself you can only do what you can do. Unfortunately things happen in life that we have absolutely no control over.

It will get easier count yourself lucky you have a child there is women out there that didn’t get the chance to have children and they had to go through this am 14 years free for cancer now keep the chin up xx

I had to have a hysterectomy last month I’m 27 with 2 bio kiddos and a bonus kiddo. I had my tubes tied at 22 after my daughter was born due to medical reasons and I honestly don’t remember having a hard time with this. My SO snd I don’t have any kiddos together and he only has 1 bio. I was told on a Friday and they wanted to do it that following Tuesday but I couldn’t cause of work so I had it the following Tuesday. It’s been super emotional for me as I have a hard time believing I’ll never have anymore kiddos especially with someone who is an amazing dad. He had told me time n time again that he has 3 that he’s ok with not having more but I’ve dealt with a lot of depression

In the beginning I didn’t mind because I was happy that i have 1 kid, but now I do regret it because I wish I could of gave her a sibling. It breaks my heart that I won’t be able to have another baby again.

Most women are bothered when they learn can’t have any more kids. God blessed you with children at least. Some women will never know that joy. Cry if you need to. You will get past this.

I had to have a hysterectomy a month before my 28th birthday i only have 1 kid and it still hurts that ill never have another baby and its hard when my family and friends have baby’s

I went into the hospital with a mystery illness. during a surgery they found my uterus had ruptured and I was going septic. They performed an emergency total hysterectomy. I found out as I was coming out of anesthesia. I too mourned the loss of my ability to carry another child. It’s been 7 years and I still find myself a little spiteful. It’s ok to feel however you are feeling. Just don’t stay in that space. Rejoice in the positives in your life. This too shall pass. It does get easier with time :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: hugs.

I had the same feelings with my hysterectomy… And trust me… I didn’t want more kids. But not having the option was a scary feeling. Definitely best decision I made.

I am sorry this happened to you, But the fact you had cancer, the outcome most likely be worst, If a hysterectomy wasn’t done & you had to do the chemo, the outcome unfortunately most likely also be the same, except the hair lost ,t he vomiting & everything else that goes with chemo, Again sorry you had to go thru this, but again the outcome could have been worst, Sing to your baby, talk to him, have someone can hand him to you, while you are on the couch or bed. He still can sit on you lap or lay down next to you. Breathe, don’t think of what could have been, Think of what you have now & treasure that, Be grateful for that & love life

It will get easier. You need time to process everything! That’s two major things at once. Hang in there I am just now 3 years post hysterectomy

It will get better, hang in there

It will get better over time. You body has been through a lot and your hormones are out of whack. I had a hysterectomy at 28 and I have 3 children, however it’s the idea that even if you didn’t want anymore kids you can’t. I also went through that. It’s ok to be all over yhe place I promise it will get better. When you having a rough time yell into a pillow go in your closet and let it out. It’s normal to feel this way just don’t live there!!

Your body is definitely changing. Give yourself some time to heal. If you feel like you are falling apart, talk to your doctor about getting some help!

If you want biological children you can get a surrogate if you still have your ovaries. (It is pricey though.)

Go see a therapist. I think what your feeling is totally understandable and I think talking it through with a therapist will help you process it healthier.

Your feelings are real. A process of grief. If you feel your emotions are all over the place, maybe the doc could check hormone levels and change Dosages.

That’s a natural feeling you have to give yourself time and stop explaining yourself you’re just over a very big op you will come to understand everything your body is coping with hope everything gets better keep your chin up

You are grieving for your loss, hopefully time will help heal you, blessings on you!

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I was relatively young when I had a hysterectomy due to broken tendons that hold the uterus in place. We had the option of having a temporary fix in order to have another child, but we opted for the hysterectomy because I would have had it at some point either way.

We figured we could always adopt if we wanted more kids. And we did try that, after failing to adopt because the mother decided to keep the baby, we talked about our options and the pros and cons of foster care. In the end we decided to not adopt or do foster care. We were young when we had our kids and realized that we would be in our early 40’s and be empty nesters. Now we are in our mid 40’s and I’m retired and we are enjoying our lives. We do have moments when we regret not having more kids, however, we know we made the best decision we could at the time.

Just know you can have a range of feelings about this and none of them are wrong. I felt cheated out of the large family we had dreamed of having, yet I also felt happy and looked forward to spending time alone with my husband and no kids in the house as we grew older. I also felt guilty knowing we made the decision we made had some to do with the fact that I had previously lost a baby and suffered from some serious post-partum after my youngest was born. Now looking back, I feel we made the best decision for us. So just know that you are allowed to feel how you feel and some days will be worse than others. Tomorrow is always a new day.

Just love yourself and don’t be hard on you too you are you your best after all speedy recovery friend …

Yes it will get better. You are so lucky to have two healthy children and yes you will wonder WHAT IF… I could have had more children. That’s normal to think things like that but it will get better. God is with you and he will help you through this no matter how long it takes.

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go to dr that can help you to except it… be thankful and pray to be able to be here for your little ones. put your mind on them and not what something that you know is impossible… some people never had any children. feel happy u did. pray and get busy with mind and hands…

I had my hysterectomy in 2002. I still go through phases of “ why was I chosen to nit be able to have kids? I wanted a big family “.
Be happy that you have had a child. You will still grieve. You’ll be ok! Just love that baby every day and be happy that you had that one chance!!!

Well, coming from someone that had a hysterectomy with no kids, be thankful you have one! I don’t have kids, never will! And everyone just tells me “At least you have a niece to love” or “You can always adopt”…It’s not the same​:broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart:

It do get better. Some days I have to tell myself. Well I have my two boys. Or wow no more pads and tampons.

It will take time l hadthe surgery way back 1976. .