I had a hysterotomy due to cancer and am upset that I will not be pregnant again: Advice?

I had a hysterectomy last Wednesday due to cancer, and now it’s taking its toll on me emotionally; just the thought of never being able to have a baby, not that I was planning it, but the fact it’s definitely not an option is getting to me. I can’t pick up my 18-month-old yet because he is too heavy, so he just cries for me. For anyone that has gone through this, does it get better? I’ve been so emotional everything makes me cry. I don’t know if it’s just changes in my body or what, but I’ve been almost falling apart lately. I try to explain it to people, and they just tell me I’m lucky to not have cancer anymore, and I’m so thankful and blessed for that, especially since I have two little ones, but I can’t help my emotions, and it’s like all I want to do is cry.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I had a hysterotomy due to cancer and am upset that I will not be pregnant again: Advice?

I so sympathise with you! Even though I have 3 kids and had gone through menopause, I still am sad that it’s so final that I can’t possibly have another baby. I think the hormones lost from the surgery might also have something to do with our feelings ?

Although, yes, it’s amazing to be cancer free. I understand it’s still a cruel thing to go through and forced to accept. I’m so sorry.

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I had a hysterectomy Feb 2020. I wasn’t planning on having anymore babies. But the fact that I could never again got me. It still comes in waves. It probably will for a while. We grieve the lasts. Hang in there momma

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I’m so sorry. Even though you have a lot to be thankful for you have every right to feel the feelings you feel.

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You’re experiencing a fresh loss… I’d say that’s pretty normal. Give yourself time and surround yourself with your people :heart:

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A lot of what you are feelings is your hormones out of whack. The surgery put you into surgical menopause at a rapid speed. It takes about 2 weeks and you will even out. It’s going to be ok :hugs:

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Your feelings are completely valid momma. Not to mention the major hormone dip your probably experiencing would 100% explain your emotions being all over the place. Dont be so hard on yourself love… You not only just beat cancer but you also just lost something too. So i feel like ANYONE in your position would be emotionally a mess. Praying for you love.:purple_heart:

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Can you lay on the floor.in some sort of way? I know it must be very painful. I’m sorry you are going through this.

I went thru the same thing when I had my hysterectomy it’s hard to feel like the decision to have kids is taken from you and it’s a lot of emotions to process it will get better though it just takes a little time

I’d say this is pretty normal and give it some time

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It’s normal. I too had a hysterectomy. I wasn’t going to have more children but once I knew it was now impossible to I felt like you do. The anesthesia also effects the emotions. Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. Don’t stay there though. But give yourself time. You are normal. You are a survivor. You are worthy. You matter.

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I had one a couple of years ago and just advice take it easy the emotions will come and go, I picked my grandson up a few days after surgery and my 2 week break from work turned into a 9 week break.

I’m so sorry. I suffered a miscarriage that lead to me having a complicated D&C. My daughter was 2 at the time, and she screamed for me to pick her up too. It hurts, I know. Just keep hugging and reassuring them… they’re too little to understand now but I promise, they won’t remember it later. Just keep going, mama. Sending the best vibes your way, and I hope you get better soon

I had 2 little girls 31/2 and 18 months. I was 25 years old and wanted more children. My husband and I really wanted a little boy to grow up with our precious girls. I had to have a hysterectomy at age 25 rears old. It was due to a precancerous disease. After my surgery I had all the emotions you are having. When you are young and have to have this surgery it puts you in what is called Surgical menopause immediately. I thought I would lose my mind. I cried and had kind of emotions while taking care of my babies. My Mother would talk to me because she had gone thru the the same thing. She told me it would get better with time and it did, but it took awhile. The doctor can put you on harmones which help most women, gave me other complications. Pray and ask God to help you. As far as wanting other children God blessed us to adopt the most precious2 year old, blue eyed, blonde hair little boy when our daughters were 10, and 8 years old. Oh, what a joy he has been and I thank God for him everyday.

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Awwww I had a hysterectomy also because of bad endometriosis when my son was 6 months old.
It did take me 6 months probably to feel better.
Every now and then out of nowhere the sadness will hit but I’m basically at peace with it now. I hope you feel better soon :two_hearts:

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You can still hug your baby, just don’t lift him. I’d suggest going to short term counseling to talk about your feelings.

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Be honest with yourself.If two children is all you were going to have, be thankful you have them and a cure of your Cancer so that you can be there for them.

If you had thought of having more, you could adopt a child and that would be a wonderful thing. You don’t have to deliver a child to be a mommy to one.

It is understandable what you are going through.

I was 30 when I had mine. I went in for an excitatory lap to find out what was causing pain and turns out I was full of endometriosis. The assisting surgeon(my gyn partner) the first surgeon was my Gen. Surgeon) no one talked to me or my husband about a need for a hysterectomy Bil.salpingoopherectomy(removal of uterus, tubes and ovaries) but they went out and spoke to my husband. He said no, can’t make that decision now for her, close her up.
I greatly appreciated that. Three days later, however after knowing and talking, I did have a second surgery and that big procedure.

Even though I knew we weren’t planning on having anymore children, surgery like that for women, makes it final. Unlike possible tube reversals for women or vas defrens referrals for men.

So, it is understandable to go through all these thoughts. Plus, if ovaries were taken, and assume they were for Cancer, your hormone levels are different right now.
Just take a breath, don’t be hard on self and make a plan to have a great recovery and enjoy the family you have now! Make other decisions later! Best wishes!

I didn’t have cancer, but I had a hysterectomy when my son was 16 months old. I couldn’t have the robotic/laproscopic because of scar tissue and anatomy, so I had to be completely opened up. I was on restriction for 6 weeks not being able to pick him up and having to explain that he needed to be careful. If your child will be careful, snuggle on the bed or in a chair with them if they can climb or someone can put them up there for you. I didn’t want amy more kids either, but that finality is a tough blow. Seek help if you need it from your doctor, mental health professional or family/friends. Hugs mama.

Just because you can no longer birth babies does not mean your time as a mom has ended.

You’d probably make an amazing foster mama :heart:

Talk to your doctor. As noted by others, the sudden shock to your system of losing hormones will take some time to adjust. You may need medication to help you with the mood swings. While it’s unfair that you will not be able to give birth again, it’s wonderful that your 18 month old will grow up with you still there for them.

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It’s very normal to feel that way. I had a hysterectomy at 23 due to medical issues and I already had 2 kids and knew I didn’t want anymore anyways but after my surgery I was very upset that I couldn’t have anymore kids. You will most likely go through menopause as well. I hope you feel better soon

I actually had my total hysterectomy today. I’ve been home a few hours and have cried off and on about it. Endo took my ability to have more kids several years ago, but it’s still hard. I tear up seeing baby clothes, and carry a little bit of bitterness with me. It’s normal. Mourn the loss. And remember that even when u reach a point of acceptance, it’s okay to occasionally still feel sad.

Its a very emotional rollercoaster it will come in waves but yes it does get better over time :two_hearts: sending you strength :pray:

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Adopt. Jeez be happy you already had a child.

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Your journey doesn’t have to end, there’s plenty of babies out there that need a family.

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Sit on the floor to cuddle your child.
Hormones depression. Have faith. You are a survivor. For now focus on you getting better
The rest will come in God’s time. Stay strong

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I’ve had 5 babies I’m 40 years old. Facing a hysterectomy here in a few months and I cry every time I think about losing my ability to get pregnant again. I always thought about having one more but now that I know I can’t it’s devastating. Talk about your feelings with someone and allow yourself to cry. You are not a weak woman you are just having a weak moment. :heart:

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I had a hysterectomy a little over 3 years ago. Im blessed that i have 2 gorgeous kids, but i hate that this took away my option for more. Would have loved a 3rd. It is really hard and it messed with my head for a long time. Im just at the stage where i have accepted it but it does still suck.
I had a bit of counseling which isn’t a bad idea. Hope you recover ok and have lots of cuddles with your wee one x

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Had a hysterectomy in my 30’s. My mother took a drug when pg with me that causes cancer of the cervix. Be very careful about hormone replacement. It caused breast cancer in me. Am titless but still happy and alive.

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Titanic analogy time- you and your 2 healthy children are floating on a door lucky to have survived but you find yourself longing to be back on the boat? I’m sorry for your painful longing over possibilities but you survived something many dont

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Been married almost 15 years. Tried for 5 years. Was never able to afford the treatments to get pregnant. In 2012 we completed our foster license. 2 weeks later 2 children joined our family. Adopted them a year later. 2015 a third joined adopted a year later. All the while still trying to get pregnant. Was sick from 2015-2017 when it was discovered that my Gall bladder had over 300 stones. While in surgery they found a problem with my uterus. It was huge but I was not pregnant. Several doctors over a course of 12 years missed the fact that my uterus was in my chest. In 2018 had my hysterectomy. Found several monstrous fibroids. The very next day was released and in the best health I had been in, in over 8 years. I cried when I saw my husband because I never gave him a child. He said and I quote " but you did, you have done everything to bring the three we have into our home and make them our family". I just passed the 3 year mark and I have never been this happy or healthy. I still sometimes long for a biological child. But it doesn’t last long.

I am so sorry you are struggling. Please know you are not alone. We all handle it differently and our stories are different, but we sympathize with you.

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This is normal! I had one a couple years ago. I did want more kids and it just never happened. I had to just let myself work through the emotions. I had to let myself kind of mourn and then accept it. It does get better with time. Once I finally got to that point I felt a lot better. I do get sad about it once in awhile still but not like after the surgery. Stay strong and just take it one day at a time!

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Oh sweetie there are soooo many kids out there that need a good home. Stay strong <><

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When I had mine they put me on estrace all was good

:pray::pray: Everything will be alright…

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There is a time for every season of our lives.

It’s normal to be very emotional, partly because of your surgery, but also because you have an 18 month old … so you are still in that hormonal zone that can contribute to postpartum depression.

Try to focus on the positives … you have 2 beautiful children, & you’ve had your cancer removed, so that you will hopefully get to be around to watch them grow up!

Yes, it’s sad for every woman, at that point in our lives when we realize we won’t ever have another child … but you have your life and you have your 2 children, and I hope you can bring yourself to realize how fortunate you are.

Speak with your Doctor … maybe he can suggest something that will help you. Good luck!

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IT definitely gets better…long story short. #4 baby weighed 10.1… #5 baby also big delivered 3 weeks early c-section 9.12 ( had tubal )11 months later found out I was pregnant with twins!! SHOCKER!!! During this pregnancy with #6 & #7. At 3 months lost baby B…went on to deliver baby A …1 month earlier to the fact another big baby. Another scheduled C-Section… #6 was 8.7 (4 weeks early)… When I went for my 6 week check up I had a pap test done. Two weeks later my Dr called and said by law I need to be seen and biopsies done within two weeks. Dr informed me on the phone according to my history and no vag delivery she was more concerned with the woman walking around with a class 4 pap. ( Dr was sure it wasn’t mine… She thought there was a mix up.)
Well the biopsies came back it was mine. :disappointed: I went through frozen cryo surgery. After 3 attempts the biopsies got no better… I ended up with a hysterectomy. Now mind you I was done having children! But after I had the hysterectomy I had a small stage where I was morning my loss of me producing another child… But I knew I was done having children!! I couldn’t figure out why this was so important???
Due to cancer I had the hysterectomy… Now no cancer… No period ( yeah) But it’s still a part of who we are. And it’s not given its taken away. This is from a shift in hormones. It gets better. But we have times of sadness… But we ARE HERE to see them grow!! I now have grandchildren and great grandchildren. I am truly Blessed​:heart::heart::blue_heart::blue_heart::heart::blue_heart:

Im 47 have 5 kids dont want more kids but when i had hysterectomy something about not being able to have more children bothered me hugs

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I had it have a hysterectomy when I was 40 ,I wanted more kids even though I had four, it bothered me for awhile, but then my grandchildren came and helped me a lot. I was upset with my surgeon he told me at my consultation that I didn’t want any more kids any way, you don’t want to know what my reply was, but I had cancer cells and had no other choice.

There is a place for you to vent and get support from others going through the same thing.

Maybe you should try counseling. It could be hormonal, it could be something else. Reading through these comments, it seems quite normal to mourn the inability to have more children after a hysterectomy.

I always wanted 3 kids but had to have a hysterectomy after my second. I just loved the 2 I had and cried at every “last” first. But when my baby was 5 we ended up doing a kinship adoption. I figure if I had the 3rd we would not have been blessed with him. God’s plan maybe way different than ours so embrace what you have been given.

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Let it out and cry. Once you’re done grieving for your loss, use what you have left to live your best life, as cancer could have quickly taken it all away.

I haven’t had cancer, but it’s ok to grieve what was lost. I would look into support groups :heart:. I’m sure you’ll be able to find ones with other women in your shoes.

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The emotions thing is real. Anxiety and your feelings all over the place is real. Knowing that means you somehow need to will yourself out of it. Focus on getting strong to be back in a routine. That surely helps.

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Don’t allow anyone to tell you what you’re feeling is wrong. ‘at least you don’t have cancer anymore’ is quite an awful thing to say. You’re going through a lot more than most of us could understand and just try to take one day at a time. My suggestion is to find something that brings you peace (a flower, a quote, favorite picture or something that genuinely makes you happy) and when you’re feeling sad concentrate all your emotions on that and hopefully that helps in the moment. Try to find a councillor to speak with as well. I’m sorry you’re going through this

Foster too adopt or just foster a bunch of babies they need it!

I had my 6 years for the same reasons and I am just now starting to realize the impact of it all.

I had a hysterectomy at 28. I really didn’t want to have anymore kids. I had an almost 2 year old. But when I found out that I had to have surgery I struggled with the notion that I will only have the one. My daughter is now 21 and I still struggle sometimes with it. Keep your head up. It does get some what better

I’m currently dealing with almost the exact same situation :disappointed:

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I had a hysterotomy due to cancer and am upset that I will not be pregnant again: Advice?

I can relate to that also! I had a hysterectomy on Monday and had my break down today just feeling overwhelmed and almost like a burden so I am also hoping it is just my hormones and everything from surgery! All I can say I to keep your head up high and be the strong women you know you are and everything will get better!

Hormonal changes due to hysterectomy.

Sounds like your hormones are out of balance. I also had a hysterectomy several years ago. The thought of never being able to carry a child was very sad for me. Even though I was done having children. It’s natural. It does get easier. Best of luck to you. Hang in there

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It’s partly hormones and partly because you’re grieving your “what if’s”. You have every right to grieve the future children you can no longer carry within your body. Yeah, not having cancer is great but you likely had a whole future planned and cancer came in and ruined it. You have a right to grieve that and anyone who doesn’t see that should f off.

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I had a hysterectomy at 28 due to cancer. I didn’t want anymore children but the fact the option was taken from me made my depression 100 times worse for me. I would talk to my counselor about it and she helped me thru it alot. I’m almost 34 now and I’m in a better state of mind. It took time but I’m able to look at pregnant woman again and not get angry

I feel so bad for you and I certainly understand your feelings​:cry: I have/had one son when I was told in 1979 I had severe endometriosis that I had been seeing Drs. for years to treat. Bottom line with all of the cysts, I was told I needed a hysterectomy…I was 29 years old. Cry is an understatement, depression like I never thought I’d survive. To tell you it gets better would be a lie, the crying stopped, the depression got better but as a woman I miss holding another baby of mine, I miss that I could not give my son a sibling. My blessing was that the good lord did bless me with the most precious son a mother could ask for and he filled that void everyday of his life. I’ll pray for you​:pray::pray::pray:

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I guess I don’t get it, why aren’t your two children enough? I hate to think you might not be satisfied with what you are already blessed with, must be hormonal. Try some bio-identical hormone replacement therapy to see if your priorities get back into balance too. Good luck to you and your recovery - I think the two children you have deserve a mom that can be satisfied with them and give them the attention and love they need instead of yearning for someone you can’t have just because you now can’t have them. You could always adopt or foster if you still feel you have more to give. Balanced hormones do wonders for your emotional well being and allow you to think more clearly and you don’t have to stay on HRT forever.

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Oh sweetie feel so bad for you. Hopefully your hormones get balanced out and you can go on knowing you were able to have two beautiful babies. Praying for you :pray::heart:

There is always the option to adopt!

I had one in February, not cancer related however, my doctor told me that if feel that emptiness so I was somewhat prepared. I did luckily I did have children before hand but the procedure is so permanent it definitely took time to heal emotionally.

Lean on Christ if you can. Let your toddler crawl up on you/beside you if there is no one there to place him in your lap.
Think about possibly adopting if you want more. Or fostering. Get on hormones. I was terrified to do HRT b/c of risk but found some natural ones. Counseling is also a good option. And know that it is ok to not be ok for a little while.

I kinda understand…because that choice was taken from you…when I was 45 I had to have a hysterectomy, …I do have a daughter I adopted. I got her at 9 days old…I knew I would never give birth to a baby as I am a lesbian, but after my hysterectomy, I needed to be alone to grieve that part of me that I no longer had , not that I would ever give birth to a baby especially at the age of 45…but it still hurt that choice was gone…I did cry over my uterus being gone…I know it sounds stupid, sometimes you can’t help silly emotions
Just give yourself that opportunity to grieve over the part of you that you no longer have…be thankful that you have the children you do have and a life to raise them.
I have had young women who had to have hysterectomy after their 1st pregnancy because of a tubal or a miscarriage that went bad…and they were never able to have kids …young women in their 20s…it is :disappointed_relieved: and it upsets me for them…

I’m 38 and had a total hysterectomy 2 years ago and still feel sad I can’t have anymore. I have a 4 year old and would love to give her a sibling but can’t now. I have a 19 & 16 yr old and it saddens me that my youngest won’t have a close sibling

It does get better I had a hysto

I was emotional for a good six months after my hysterectomy, I was told it was my changing hormones. It gets better, maybe you could find a support group online or in your area. It helped me to have people out there who understood and could sympathize with how I was feeling.

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I had a tubule.pregnant and lost it I come close to death. I was :drop_of_blood: inside. I had one daughter thy did leave one overe and I had another little girl thy are 5 years apart . She weighed 4/2 well the doctor wanted me to leave her in the hospital for a few day I told him I was taking her home.I didn’t think thy would take care of her like I would’ve fed her every 2 hours if you seen her now you wouldn’t never think she was so small. I love my girls but I just wanted two children. Both are spoiled she is 56 now the lord has blessed us.

That must be an awful feeling I’m ss

I’m so glad that you are cancer free and you have little ones.I pray it gets easier for you daily, physically and emotionally! If ever in the future you want more children,you could adopt.Good luck :four_leaf_clover:

Think about counseling /therapy. This is a traumatic event

I had one because of stage 4 endometriosis. I never looked back. Almost 20 years of feeling like I was wrapped in barbed wire almost totally went away

It’s more important to realize you are there for your loved ones.
I don’t mean to be insensitive. I just hurt SO bad for so many years. I wanted to be as pain free as possible for the babies I was able to have after 3 years of infertility.

Were they able to give you hormones? If not that’s totally going to mess with your emotions. I went one day without hormones after my total with a bilateral removal of my ovaries.
I needed add back therapy immediately.

hen I had mine, for the sam ereason, I just sought out the positives…caught the cancer early didn’t need any chemo or radiation (it’s been 31 cancer free years), no monthy periods, no need to worry about contraception, just to name a few. Look to the positive and brush the negative aside. Good luck.

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Hun truly this sounds like hormones going crazy after a huge change… Its ok to have them feelings and it is sad… But do be grateful for having the ability to continue to live… Big hugs

First let me say I’m so sorry your going though this. I’m glad your cancer free but I understand your feeling. With my second I end having a emergency c section that end in a hysterectomy. Even tho I plan on having my tube tide it took a emotion toll in the beginning after my hysterectomy knowing I could never get pregnant anymore. The feeling hint me really hard. I cry at the thought knowing I could no longer get pregnant anymore. After a year it has got better for me my emotions feel better and I hope your does to. Let it out it know it’s okay to have those feeling and give time to adjust.

Take it easy. I have had my tubes tied but I knew I was definitely done having kids so it was my choice. With that being said I can’t honestly say how u feel but I pray u have a speedy recovery and get some mental clarity soon. It really doesn’t help when u feel those around u dont understand. Maybe look into a local support group of people going through the same thing. Cancer in itself is a hard pill 2 swallow and takes it’s own toll on the body but having a body part removed takes time 2 heal. Once u get past that healing time u should feel a lil better and able 2 come 2 terms with the emotional side of things. I had my gallbladder removed and was sore 4 about 2 weeks after my c section and tubal ligation with my twins it took roughly 2 months 2 recover and in that time it seemed like everything I did made me cry 4 some of the goofiest reasons too. I didnt understand it but of course my hormones were still out of whack just having my kids. Ur uterus provides those hormones so just keep iin mind the body has 2 get used 2 not having it anymore and u may need hormone therapy if it continues 2 be an issue 4 u. Goodluck and I hope u have gotten some advice that will help u cope.

I went through that. 28 now. Diagnosed at 27. I didn’t have a hysterectomy, but I am in forced menopause now after having chemo and surgery. Mine was stage 2 breast cancer. Hormone related. I can’t have anymore either. It sucks. I was very upset about it for awhile. It’s like the choice was taken from you. You have every right to mourn for it. People that haven’t been through it won’t fully understand. I have two also, and get told the same thing. Just cry it out when you need to. I promise that it does get better. Hugs mama

First I’m glad you’re cancer free. I had a hysterectomy in my 30s cause of medical issues doctors thought was female related. Turned out it was my heart…discovered it in recovery. My youngest was turning 2 at time of surgery and I felt my family was complete. However I still felt a feeling of loss. It’s now been 14 years and the feelings have gotten easier but will still come back occasionally. Even though I’m now a grandma and know I’m past having my own…I still sometimes have a feeling of….best way to explain….like the choice has been taken away…even if I had decided I want another I no longer have that option. I do recommend talking to family and friends about your feelings even your doctor. It does help.

You are allowed to mourn the life you thought you would have and or wanted.
Yes you got rid of your cancer and that is amazing.
But yoh weren’t done having children. And for that, you’re allowed to be upset.
Don’t let others tell you how to feel mama.
Live in the moment. Cry if you need to. Be present and acknowledge your feelings. .and know that a year from know you will be in a totally different place. Mentally and physically.
:hugs::heartpulse:

Thats a very natural reaction…. Your body, and mind have been through a lot… give yourself time to grieve the loss…and take care of yourself

This is quite normal as you have had a sudden change in hormones. I experienced this at 32 when I had my hysterectomy. I does get better in time but do let your physician know what you are feeling as their are medications that can help if needed.

It does get better honey, I’m recovering from ovarian cancer and January 2020 had what they call de-bulking surgery after chemo and they removed everything and like you I wasnt planning on anymore pregnancy’s but knowing for sure there would never be any was hard but on the flip side knowing that I would see my youngest grow up was a feeling like no other, the feeling will pass honey then you can concentrate on what you have got and your kids still have their mummy xx❤

I had a full hysterectomy. I needed the patch…it worked wonders…ask your doctor.glad you are cancer free.love those babies you have.i cried a lot too…:kissing_heart:

I am glad your cancer free but i no it hurts when told no more children i was only 23 at the time when i was told having anymore would give aby other children i had would have many problems so what i did was i had a lot of love to give so became a foster parent abd helped me so much knowing that i could still give love to other littke people i no its not for everyone but it helped me just take tine out for you get well and stronger and atleast your littke one can come to you for cuddles and hugs while you heal chin up mumma you will get there

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I had a hysterotomy due to cancer and am upset that I will not be pregnant again: Advice?

Your body will adjust to its changes. I’m sorry you’re going through this. If u find u still want another child, find a baby who does not have parents to love them and give them a wonderful life. Adoption is always an option love. You will love that baby.

I’m just sending hugs to get you thru whatever … :heartpulse:

I went through the same thing years ago. My emotions were definitely up and down. Every now and then it would hit me that I’d never be able to have another child. But through the years it has gotten easier to deal with but the sadness has never left me. But I’m great full that the cancer was caught early enough and because of the surgery it saved my life

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You went through something very traumatizing and your feelings are valid, it is ok to not be ok. Time will heal, yes its emotional, maybe go to couseling, pray and just be thankful cause You are still alive. :pray:

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I had one 10 years ago last week. I was 27 when I had mine. My kids were 5 and 7. I had really bad endometriosis and a few other things. For me it has gotten a lil easier I guess. I love the fact that I am no longer in massive pain constantly. But at times I still struggle with the fact that I can no longer have kids. I have also accepted that if the option arises there is always adoption. Although as much as I would love to have another I can’t fully see myself starting over again. It is hard and very emotional at times. But I look back on what I was going through then and how hard ot was to spend time with the kids I already have here and play with them I am happy I went through with it.

Can you sit and have him get on your lap and hold him. Perhaps that would appease him.

I am 43 and I had breast cancer. I am haven to take shots to put and keep me in menopause. It been 3 years. Found my lump when my son was 8 months old. I still have my ups and downs.

You say you are upset you can never have another child. Yes your uterus is gone and maybe your ovaries, but that means you will live for the child you have. Hormones are affecting how you feel. You can have another child. It could be a foster, a family member who needs a home, or an adopted child. The world is yours to command. If you can sit on the couch, have your child sit next to you. Sit at the table and color with him. Tell him mommy had a booboo and you need him to help you walk. Take his hand and walk in the house. Good for you and even at 15 months he will know he us helping.

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You deserve to mourn what could’ve been. You don’t need somone to tell you that you should be thankful you’re cancer free. You already are. Allow yourself to grieve. Allow yourself to hurt. Don’t feel guilty for letting your mind heal along side your body. Sending you tons of love. I’m glad you’re here. :heart:

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I know people mean well with their words but sometimes there are no words. I am so sorry for this pain you are experiencing. A loss is a loss…plain and simple. I hope over time you can begin to heal, but for now grieve how you need to grieve. :heart:

It’s not fair to invalidate your loss like that. Of course you’re glad to be cancer-free, but you’re still allowed to grieve the end of your child-bearing ability. Try not to get caught up in how other people think you should feel, and just sit with your true feelings, and let yourself process. It’s a huge change.
You’ve also had surgery, and your body is using lots of energy to heal, so you feel more vulnerable. And as others have mentioned, hormones play a huge role, and it might be beneficial to talk with your GYN.
Take care of yourself, and do what you can with your little one. Give yourself time, and advocate for yourself to family, friends, and your doctor if necessary until you’ve had your needs met. :heart: Good luck, mama!

My Dauvhter went through it for severe indometriosis- it took her about 3 weeks- shes always been tough. Prayers, you’ll get through it.So sorry you guys are hurting.

Just let him set on your lap. Or lay in bed with him an just snuggle with him. That’s what I did when I had 3small kids when I had mine