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QUESTION:
"I’ve been with my husband for 14 years and have been struggling with depression off and on. Our sex life has slowed a bit, I’ve lost some weight and have an increased sex drive but I feel like my husband doesn’t care to please me. I met a man at work and we really hit it off long story short I had an affair, I felt terrible after and told him I wanted to end things but can’t seem to stop talking to him. I don’t want my family ruined by this but I’m not sure what to do any more. Any advice would be great please. Preferably by people who have gone through a similar situation."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Be honest with your husband. You’ve already made your decision based on choosing to have the affair & continuing to entertain at this point. There’s no going back."
" It’s already ruined. Tell your husband and if he leaves you then you’ll need to deal with that as a consequence, unfortunately"
"Think you need to do your husband a favour and leave him he doesnt deserve that"
"Tell your husband and let him decide on whether or not he wants to stay."
"Be honest. I had an affair and was open and honest. My husband was hurt but we stayed together at first. Other things happened and we are no longer together but you have to be honest. He deserves that. He may not be ok or give you another chance and you have to respect that because you made the choices you did."
"Honesty is the best policy"
"Ask yourself why you did it, deep down, the real reason. What is missing within your marriage or within yourself. If there is anyway you can work it out with your husband and if that’s what you want then try to do that"
"Looks like you're not trying to please him either …two way street. Fact is you cheated and your husband doesn’t deserve that. So do the right thing and tell him. Truth always comes out in the end. Don’t let him find out from someone else."
"Move on. Because you would be livid had he done this to you. He deserves someone that’s going to be 100% faithful and honest. Communication is key, not running and finding another man."
"If you love your husband, Stop the affair immediately & find a new job, then tell your husband and go to counseling. If not get a divorce and let him move on with someone who does love him. Either way, stop being deceitful."
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