Partner and I have been together for almost four years. I have a child from a previous relationship, and we also have a child together. Since the birth of our baby. Almost two years ago. I have had 0 sex drives. I don’t want him even touching me. It isn’t that I don’t love him. It’s just like affection to me now is gross(?) Not sure how else to describe. He has never been one to push or make me feel guilty. He’s been amazing. We have done it maybe three times since the birth of our son, but I can see he wants it more. He mentioned a friend couple of his do this challenge every four months or so where you have sex every day for 30 days. It’s meant to bring you closer and all this other stuff. I would like to know if anyone on here has done something similar and how you thought it helped? TIA.
If that were me, I’d speak to my doctor and go from there. Possibly seek therapy as well. I’d want to seek the root cause of this. Maybe you should consider professional help over a “challenge”?
Read this. It might help
3 times in 2 years is more than a dry spell. You don’t need a challenge you need to talk to a professional. Be that a therapist or a doctor.
You may need to have your hormones checked. When they are out of whack, you can lose your drive.
Well doesnt sound like he is being pushy but trying to bring you guys closer that’s better than most alternatives men choose. Why not atleast try…
You should dive deeper into why you now feel this way. Your body is reacting to a belief you’re holding onto.
Possibly try experimenting new things such as buying a lingerie, go for a date or a romantic dinner
I lost it too…and it took work to get it back. You have to take an active role in finding it again. First you may need to do some solo missions. From there, you may need to work at it with him.
Idk but I can understand the feeling… we have 3 kids and it’s been this way since the 1st
I’ve been in the same boat for years. I hate even being touched. I’d much rather be left alone.
Go to a sex therapist together
The sex everyday thing for a month actually can work I think for people to get their sex drive up again. It brings those hormones back and creates a bond
I lost it too and I had to take action to get it back. Hes kinda right… work to get it back and itll feel right again.
Are you on birth control by chance? When I had the implanon just the thought of sex and all made me want to vomit
I have no idea… maybe try sex more often … like exercise…maybe you don’t feel like doing it the first few weeks but after a bit its so good and you can’t wait to get back in there… my husband and I have sex almost everyday for the last 4 years… it makes me feel so close to him,so connected … like … its the closest I can get to him and something about that is so sweet to me! Just bc you lost it doesn’t mean you can’t get it back!
Are you breastfeeding? On birth control? I would reach out to your OB GYN
I’d see about maybe having your hormone levels checked.
This is me exactly. Ever since my son (he’s 20months) I don’t want to be touched at all. Affection from anyone but my son annoys the eff out of me and the thought of it grosses me out. Glad to know I’m not the only one.
See a doctor first to see if it is a medical reason. If not see a therapist. Having no sex will ruin your relationship. You gotta get your groove back! Good luck!
Please go get blood work done!! Its your hormones!! They regulate everything in your body!!
Birth control can lower your sex drive. I was prescribed birth control when I complained about my sex drive being to high. Try some solo missions to get comfortable with your body again and speak with your doctor.
Listen after having a baby taking care of the baby and then taking care of you and your family on top of that and working I can imagine how having someone touch you is like the last thing that you want but I promise you that if you do this challenge that by the end of it you guys are going to be so much closer so much more in love with yourself so much more in love as couple and so much more in tuned with each other girl you owe it to yourself to get busy you’re young you’re alive and having sex with your husband is part of your Healthy well-being of your body and your emotions you want your husband to be happy too I’m sure so even if you can’t do it everyday for a month how about having sex you know three times a month nothing planned just something spontaneous and you have to be open to it and be open to the thought of him touching you and you enjoying it again cuz that’s how you got that baby in the first place good luck girl
Honestly this is more than a dry spell. Two years and only three times? I would start with getting your hormones checked at your doctor. Are you on birth control?? It has made me that way before but never for this long. To get out of my funk, I had sex with my husband to meet his sexual needs. After a while it became a need for me again. I don’t know if that’s the right or healthy answer, but it worked for me.
Go to your primary care doctor or ob and see if your hormones are out of whack. I’ve gone through this a couple of times, but not for 2 years. Also, please don’t do the sex every day for 30 day thing. It makes something that is supposed to be fun and intimate feel like work and a chore. Pretty sure it would just turn you further away from an intimate relationship with your SO.
Maybe try an herbal stimulant? I bought some FemStim Max off Amazon after had our first, bc for 8 months after I just had our first I couldn’t get in the mood. Also…maybe try watching kinky movies together. Might help some. Try to do a regimen of not going longer than 3 days a week without and sex drive should get boosted once get back to doing it more often. Maybe buy some toys…things to get excited about trying out…Spice things up some. Romance each other. Try spending more quality time together.
I have to be honest. The 30 day challenge was a DRAAAG. It turned sex into just one more thing I had to do until I snapped.
I worked OB=Gyn and there are meds for this condition. Apparently it worked pretty good.
This is me too! My youngest is 16 months and I have zero interest in sex! I don’t think lockdown has helped either.
Same here… after giving birth to my baby girl, the sex drive is gone…
Do it. It can’t hurt. Also, take some time to yourself every day…and I don’t mean taking a shower. Leave the house and go for a walk in the woods, walk around in goodwill, get your toes done, have wine with a friend, go paint pottery or just sit in the library with a book.
Try lighting candles and soft music, oil and massages… reconnect with each other
Definitely see a doctor! and just hope he’s not getting it somewhere else
Possible/most likely hormone imbalance…check with your close est Health Food Store…natural hormone helpers…might be worth a try…plus they have libido helpers too…
Same. My son is 15 months now and I’m the same way. I went to my doctor last week and told her everything so I got all my hormone levels checked,libido she ran a full screen to make sure everything was ok. And everything came back normal. So I have no idea. I did start to work out last week, so we will see if that helps but seeing your doctor to get a work up is always a good idea to do first, cause you never know! Our bodies go through so much during pregnancy and birth!