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QUESTION:
"My gut is telling me my husband of 19 years cheated, but he swears nothing happened. I want to know if I am over reacting or not. As far as I know he has always been faithful. He has always said the he would never put himself in the position to even give the appearance of cheating. He meant he wouldn’t be alone with another woman or talk to women online, etc. Until recently, I believed him. Here’s what happened. He had to work out of town. He is the “superior” at his job, and this particular placement meant that during operating hours, as the project manager, he had to remain on site with the other employees at all times. He stays at a nearby hotel and comes home on weekends. His company also had contracted other companies to work on this project. Those employees are from other companies, and though directed by my husband, they are not his responsibility in any way. They are also staying in nearby motels. One day last week I called him and he didn’t answer. He called back about an hour later. Unusual because he rarely misses my call, but usually calls back within a couple of minutes if he does. When he called back he told me a crazy story about how one of the ladies from the other company came up to him in the middle of an asthma attack that was so bad she could barely tell him she needed her inhaler from her car. He says they walked to her car and she leaned on the hood out of breath while he looked and couldn’t find the inhaler. She then reached in her jacket pockets and pulled out the lid only and told him the inhaler must be back at the location she was staying at and asked if he could drive her there. He left the job site, just her and him and drove her about 10 minutes away to the motel she was staying in. He says her asthma attack went away on the way to get the inhaler, but they went on to get it in case she needed it later. When he told me this I instantly got sick to my stomach and something clicked in my head that he did more than just take her to get an inhaler. He risked his job had he been caught off site, for an employee that didn’t even work for his company. I asked why he didn’t call an ambulance if she was breathing so bad she could barely talk. He says he was just panicked trying to help her. Why don’t I believe him?"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"I mean in the 19 years you guys have been together, has he given you a reason not to trust him around females? Seems silly if you don’t believe him just over this one event over the course of 19 years. If there was other things that had happened, makes more sense."
"You definitely have trust issues he helped someone and you think he cheated grow up"
"19 years is a long time and at least he told you something instead of nothing. Idk I wouldn’t toss 19yrs over this"
"I wouldn’t believe that either. You never leave your job and all medical issues at work should be reported and the proper medical procedures should have been done. I call BS on this. He’s not a doctor and she should have not involved him so they both smell dirty."
"You say he’s never given you a reason to doubt him before…so maybe he’s telling the truth. Are there any areas of your relationship that you can sit back and truly feel something might be amiss? If not, humor him. Seriously. Don’t be blind and ignore obvious signs but perhaps he’s being a true gentleman trying to help someone. He didn’t have to tell you about this to begin with. He didn’t hide it from you. Don’t let the comment trolls and negative Nancy’s set up your relationship’s demise."
"Girl you decided you don’t trust your husband because he was a good person. Sounds like you have your own trust issues."
"Sounds to me like he helped someone in an emergency situation and you should be proud of him. If this has given you the feeling that he cheated you have underlying issues and insecurities."
"He literally was being a caring, good human and you turned that dark and twisted. If you don’t trust him it’s internal issues or there’s good reason. Or maybe you’re just looking for an excuse to leave him. Be honest with yourself, don’t blame him."
"As someone with asthma it doesn’t just clear up or stop if it gets really bad however if steps are taken while it’s in the beginning stages it can clear up but it sounds like no steps were taken to try to ease it before they drove off and if that was the case she would’ve needed an ambulance"
"I work construction with men everyday. Anyone of my superiors would do the same for me or any other employee. I know some women aren’t trust worthy but I would trust your husband. My husband is also a superior on jobs and I wouldn’t expect any less from him either. They have a duty to take care of all employees on site."
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