Am I being ridiculous? I’m upset with my partner because they went to a place with their family that I expressed just last week wanting to go to. When I said how I felt, they responded “I’m not going to not go with my family so we can go for the first time.” This hurts my feelings more because they totally could have said ‘no thanks, my girlfriend really wants to go with me. I’ll wait until I can go with her.’ My birthday is Monday, and at this rate, I’m questioning whether they will even come to my bday party or get me anything. Keep in mind, I struggle with severe depression and anxiety w/panic attacks, and I’m waiting on med refills. I cannot tell if I’m overreacting or if my feelings are valid. I told them I didn’t want to talk for a bit because I needed to gather my thoughts. I didn’t want to say something that would make me look like an ass while I was in such an emotional state. Please, no bashing. Am I in the wrong and just overreacting due to my mental health shit?
Why couldn’t you go with them?
You’re allowed to be upset if that’s how you feel.
How come you didn’t go with them did they go behind your back and do it or did they tell you they were going and you just didn’t want to go with them but just your boyfriend?
If you have kids and this was the kids first time going and you didn’t get to go with them, then I could see being upset. Otherwise let it go. You can still go on your own with your bf and it will be your first time.
I’m going to say ur overreacting. By u saying I don’t know if they will come
to my party or get me anything makes me believe u are this way often. I have a feeling u are a it’s all about me type of person. I get that ur upset. But u should be discussing that with ur man. Not his family. U need time to gather ur thoughts?! Where did he go that was so special without u that would make u this upset?!
Personally, it sounds like it was important to you to experience it with your partner. So I think your feelings are valid, it wasnt fair for your partner to sideline your feelings. As someone who suffers similar mental illness symptoms I know I’ve questioned myself over things like this.
Now that’s passed you just have to accept it was something you cant change and cope. I feel like maybe the birthday bit is more overthinking related to your symptoms.
I hope you get to go with your partner and they understand just how important that experience is gonna be for you, and make your first time going special
You’re overreacting. This is an adult, not your child’s first something that you’re missing. The only problem I see is if he’s unwilling to go with you now. THAT would be a huge problem.
I would be upset too. Im sorry that happened
Why wouldn’t you go with them when they all went??
You’re feelings are valid but expecting him not to spend time with his family because of the location is a bit much. You are probably upset for not being included in the first place and your subconscious is reaching. Mental illness is awful and it was smart of you to take a step back and question yourself.
Just cause you couldn’t go doesn’t mean they shouldn’t go and spend time with their family. Yeah it may suck youre unable to go but you’re an adult and shouldn’t make them feel bad
You are allowed to have your own feelings, i feel like it’s not that big of a deal though, you can still go for YOUR first time where ever it is, and it shouldnt make it any less special because it was something you really wanted to do, don’t let them ruin that just because they went, so what they went your next, and you’re gonna enjoy yourself
I dont think it’s over reacting, if he knew you wanted to go he should have declined or called you to ask to meet them or see if it was okay, not because your his boss for anyone who cries fowl, but because he should have a shred of respect for your feelings.
Don’t know all the info on this so, Pick & Choose your Battles.
I think you’re overreacting… you are expecting your partner to exclude themselves from family gatherings to appease your desire to visit said place. You can always go there with your partner, where family gatherings might not be as frequent as your time together. You wouldn’t tell your partner “no I don’t want to eat there cause you ate there with your mom” because that sounds ridiculous right??? But that is how you are reacting. Good luck. Go to the places, do the things, eat the foods and be happy
Girl you’re an adult lmao … and still expecting to be showered with gifts from your mans family lol … I think that’s more of something for YOUR friends and family to be doing. Just because you’re with a man, doesn’t mean his family needs coddle you lol
I think you may be over reacting. It’s just a resturaunt 🙍 and your partner absolutely can go places with his/her family without you.
Like you said you struggle with depression and anxiety…I wouldn’t say overreacting but I think you need your meds refilled asap . People who suffer from this are extra sensitive to certain things and sometimes obsess on things to get control. This is completely normal. Hope that you get your meds taken care of.
I don’t think you’re overreacting, with him knowing you wanted to go he should have invited you.
Talk to your doctor and don’t leave anything out. I did and I’m glad I did. We tried everything and we finally found that really worked for me
Please get your meds soon. It will help.
Overreacting, definitely! U should have went with them! However, that wasn’t the last day on earth the place would be open so ask your significant other to take u on your bday! Problem solved. And if he doesn’t want to go, just go with a friend and enjoy yourself (take pics, make memories).
If you werent free to go it shouldn’t be a big deal. I wouldnt go to your party either after you a acted. I suffer from depression anxiety and PTSD. So I get that part and how it can make things seem bigger then what they are. Please take a step back next time you feel like this and ask yourself is this a hill to die on. I wanted to add that when I’m in the middle of a panic attack and dont have my meds and get angry and upset indo have to stop and ask myself is my level anger match the situation and with out meds most of the time it’s no. I have a right to be angry at just not at the level
Overreacting massively. Ask to go on your birthday or another time. It doesn’t need to be there first time going for yo uh to enjoy it.
Why didn’t you just go with them?
I think you may be overreacting. Were you not invited to go with everyone? Did you have to work or something so you had to miss it? If you were intentionally left out I think there is reason to be upset. But if it just happens to be circumstance that they went to this place and you werent available for whatever reason than I don’t think there’s reason to be upset. I’d just be like ‘omg! Tell me how it is! I’m so jealous!’ or something like that and probably ask them to take pictures of the food of it was a restaurant hahahhaa cuz that’s just me, I love food pics lol. But j don’t think I’d be hurt or mad unless I was intentionally not invited and left out. Otherwise I’d just be slightly jealous but in a light hearted sorta way and then I’d make my husband take me ASAP lol.
Some of you people really suck as human beings. A person says they suffer from depression and anxiety, asks a question- you can answer kindly or keep your mouth SHUT. Telling people to grow up or other disrespectful things is disgusting. If you can’t help keep scrolling. This isn’t the bashing place ESPECIALLY when they ask you not to. WTF.
Sweetie, unfortunately, you are overreacting here. As someone who has anxiety and depression (yes, also with panic attacks) and PTSD, I would never ask my hubby not to go somewhere with his family just because I wanted to go with him. It’s not like he can’t go with you another time.
You still get birthday presents?
First of all…why are you waiting on refills? With Depression (& anxiety)…you call in your refills about a week before running out! Don’t let your meds run out because that will definitely make things worse! I might have my feelings hurt a little, but let it go! When you & your partner go…go by yourselves! It will be a different experience when you guys try it alone! Therapy really helps too! I’ve battled w/ both my entire life! Good luck!
I think it might be your anxiety getting the best of you , especially if you’re in between med refills.
The anxiety makes it seem like an overreaction to a minor problem.
Talk with your boyfriend & just tell him you’re having a hard time while you wait for your prescription. Once you’re back on your meds & had time to process the situation, you’ll be able to decide if it was a legitimate reason to be upset or the anxiety.
Unfortunately that’s the ebb & flow of living with Depression & Anxiety. Remember to Take One day at a time…breathe & get your bearings if you start to feel anxious. Do some grounding exercises to help you thru it. And above all else, remember you’re human:blush:
I understood exactly where you are coming from. You wanted to go with your boyfriend as a special day and it seems like he didnt care and went anyway.
Yes, you are overreacting. The place will still be there when you two can go together as a couple.
Why didnt you go too. Were you not invited that is strange if your a couple
Girl get busy with life. School, makeover, self value, esteem and worth classes. Get busy helping someone else. Start meditating and seeking a spiritual journey. Never make someone else your earth, moon and stars. Do something on your own. Go a million times with friends or alone. Develop your sense of self without weighing down anyone else. Pray to end jealousy and in tune with reality. Pray for a Clear and sound mind. You do k ow you cannot compete with his family like that. You are thinking too much about your external and not building your internal. When thie jealous energies rise tell it to shut up.
There should have been conversation between them before he just went I’d think. I had an ex who would do things like this and I would always tell myself I was overreacting but ultimately it came down to the reality that he didn’t care about me or my feelings or making anything special with me… It was all red flags that I told myself I was overreacting about and turns out they were actually true. Had I listened to my gut instead of my head and everybody else telling me I was overreacting I would’ve saved myself a lot of time and a lot of heartache.
You feel what you feel. Even if your feelings are “overreacting” to someone, maybe you ARE overreacting but to THAT PERSON. That means that’s NOT your person. Find you someone who makes sure you feel special and validated, not someone who doesn’t care if you feel special or not. It’s just incompatible and will only cause harm in the long run
You are not talking to him over a restaurant ? Stop being selfish in making the world revolve around you. You act like he cheated on you or stabbed a kitten.
I think you’re overreacting. Honestly. There is nothing saying you two can’t go together. Why should someone miss out on a family outing?
Over reacting. He didnt say he wouldnt go with you. Why hould he miss out on family time because you want to go. You il can still go later
There are WAY bigger things to worry about. Was this on the scale of a restaurant or a Disney World vacation kind of place? I doubt they deliberately went just to hurt your feelings, and you can’t dictate when & where your guy sees his family.
How old are you? Probably too old to worry about birthday presents and parties. As long as your birthday is acknowledged you’re better off than most adults.
It seems your underlying issues & being off your meds has caused you to have an outsized reaction to events that are very insignificant in the scheme of things.
Good for you for realizing taking a step back to deal with your feelings and coming here for a reality check. Let your man know you are feeling hurt and need some extra TLC right now. Hope your back on your meds & in therapy soon to help you cope.
It’s totally valid for you to disappointed and sad. But it was totally appropriate for them to go with their family. Maybe just tell them you understand but you are sad and need a big hug. A good, tight hug will help with the anxiety, too.
How old are you…? Yes, you are overreacting. And what do you mean “they went to a place” like a vacation? It a restaurant? Like how petty is this?
Hi oddball here.!
I would be pissed!
1)my husband is MY FAMILY so if I wasn’t included he wouldn’t have gone. the only time I’m okay with not being included is fathers/Mother’s Day because they are his parents not mine &I spend time with mine.
2) if he went somewhere he KNEW I wanted to go too I would be pissed as he would.!
Get over it.
Stop making excuses and belittling your boyfriend to make yourself feel better seek proper mental health care and sort it out before you ruin your boyfriend and relationship to.
As for family they come first.
Why wouldn’t he.
Sounds Would you expect him to make a choice between you and them. Honestly you need to ask yourself deeply what you want because your being rude and only going to hurt everyone involved if you dont sort it out.
Sounds like a bad case of FOMO, fear of missing out, mixed with your depression and anxiety making it worse. I say try to get over it, you really cannot expect for him to decline his family’s invitation because you cannot go. Move past it and go another time with him.
If that’s all it takes to set you off he is in trouble already
You are totally wrong. Not because u want to do something,ur partner should not do it with his/her family. Why do women always depend on a man to validate themselves? U r an individual… are u married?
My daughter suffers with severe anxiety, and I’m sorry that your husband hasn’t learned to be sensitive to that. YOUR FEELINGS are always valid and he needs to learn how to help you especially when you do not have meds not make them worse.
Men can be thoughtless so that should be no surprise…but dont let that upset you enough to get depressed. You need to make sure you dont run out of your medication.
I understand you’re depressed, but just cause you’re depressed doesn’t mean you could treat him unfairly. I to have anxiety and depression and I would never get mad or try to keep my bf from seeing his family, even if I’m not with him. He has a very right to be with them whenever he wants to, without asking for permission. Sorry but you’re over reacting. The restaurant, I’m sure, is still there. You should go have some ME time, learn to be happy and do thingsc that make you happy on your own. It will help with your depression
Is anyone else confused about how many people are in this realtionship?
You’re overacting. Take a breath and remind him you still wanna go. Maybe you guys can go for your birthday
Overreacting, just because he didnt do it the way you like doesn’t mean to say screw the whole situation an pout. Also his family is not obligated to want to even come to your party, let alone buy you gifts.
I can see being a little bummed but I think you’re overreacting.
What the he’ll waiting on meds ? You need depression meds every day not stop and start that’s your issue right there