I have autism and an identity disorder: How can I get through the stress of parenting?

Hi there, I’m a mom for a 3.5-year-old girl, and I have Dissociative identity disorder and an autism spectrum disorder. I’ve been going to therapy for everything, and it seems to be working. But I feel like i don’t know how to deal with the normal stress of being a mom in my early 20s AND everything inside my head. I just wanna hear stories from other mommas who have D.I.D. and/or A.S.D. Please and thank you

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I have autism and an identity disorder: How can I get through the stress of parenting?

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I have autism and an identity disorder: How can I get through the stress of parenting?

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I have autism and an identity disorder: How can I get through the stress of parenting?

I really don’t have specific advice…I’m sorry. I don’t have autism or DID
I have anxiety, c-ptsd, and adhd.
I’ve got one kiddo with severe adhd, autism, odd, and several medical issues…
And one kiddo with adhd and sensory processing disorder.
So I’m gonna give this advice like I give it to my son and how I remind myself.
One thing that helps is reminding yourself it’s ok to take a step back, take a breath, and re-approach a situation.
Really. Unless your child is in danger, it’s ok.
It’s ok to need to take 5 minutes and let yourself breathe. It’s healthy to recognize that.

  1. Try identifying your kiddos emotions. I know that’s hard sometimes with autism but when you do…make your reactions… appropriate to their feelings. So if your kiddo is scared…being angry won’t help but offering comfort will. Then when he’s calmed down you can talk to him.
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Hi so I follow this woman on Instagram, her name is Jane hart and on hulu there is a mini series called the many sides of jane and she has DID and has 2 cute sons. So I thought I would tell you that so you could follow her or watch her documentary on her.

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I have autism the best solution or advice i got was u have to find a way that works best for u while it might not work for other it doesnt matter

My only advice would be since you have a child , make sure your child is safe . If you don’t feel stable enough to care for your child properly please ask a family member or a friend to step in

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I have autism and an identity disorder: How can I get through the stress of parenting?

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All mom’s feel that way. It’s normal to feel you re not ready for whatever they’re doing next. Get a book on early childhood development. It will help you a lot. I m a great grandma I survived they did too. They are 52 and 48

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… your daughter absolutely cannot and will not comfort your needs you are the parent… I’d say get alot of extra help.

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I have 4 kids and 3 of them have ADHD or dmdd between them. It’s alot to parent any child, so many questions come into your mind. All I can tell u is you love them as best you can. Keep up your therapy. There is no 1 right answer. A support system is key. Stay positive and keep asking questions if you need to.

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Just being a parent is difficult itself with a toddler. But if you have made it through the terrible two’s you are already a step ahead. Probably your therapist could point you to some support groups with other mothers and children too because that will help with your therapy. I don’t think getting any advice from people on social media is a good idea. Or reaching out to strangers when you are vulnerable is a good idea when you have a young child. There are to many crazy people on social media that you can not trust so don’t share your information. I will definitely pray for you though.

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I don’t know how to answer your question, although I would tell your therapist these exact words. Maybe she/he can get additional help for you. I will be praying for you!

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I don’t have experience in what you are dealing with but all I can say is make sure you have a support system that you can call in anytime you need to step away to breathe!!! Neighbor, friend, family etc. Having a good support system can make the world of difference in any parenting situation

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How do the other alters/beings in the system handle the child? Maybe they can also help…
As a neurodivergent parent it is hard sometimes to handle a small child who doesn’t understand completely. Be patient with both you/ your DID and your child.

Follow on Instagram: real.janehart She is a mom of 2 kids, and she has DID. Best wishes to you.

I’m a single mom on the spectrum with 2 daughters also on the spectrum. Remember to be positive. You can do this! There’s hard days but self care along side loving your child can overcome all of it.

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It will feel easier once they start school. Use the ASD to create a really good routine for you both so you don’t feel overwhelmed. We used to go to the park or the shops when everyone else was headed home so it wasn’t too noisy or busy. You don’t need therapy for ASD. It’s not a disease! Don’t try to change who you are, you’ll end up feeling far worse. Masking is also the worst and most exhausting thing. Coping mechanisms - how you deal with something - can be useful and are personal to you. Don’t be afraid to say to yourself ‘today is a stay at home day’ or I’m not up to going to this social event. Be aware that if you have ASD, your kid will most likely have it too. Make sure they have clothes in fabrics they like and don’t force them to eat certain things as they grow up. Be mindful that you both might take things literally. Don’t be afraid to ask for clarification. If you go to the Drs Office or ER, say you have ASD as they’ll usually be more patient with you. Use all types of Planner. Plan the food for a week and make a list for shopping in the order of the shelves where you shop. Use a handset so you can quickly pay and leave if you need to get out mid-shop. Have a Week to View Planner so you know what is happening each Day. Get stuff organized the night before. If you’re going on a trip, make an itinerary of times and important details such as bus or plane numbers and any Reservations (I got hassled at Tampa once in Arrivals and was starting to freak out. They were hugely apologetic once they saw my two week detailed itinerary which included Disney). This way you’ll feel more in control and have less stuff in your head to organize.

My therapist has me setting time aside to worry.
I get up to 30 minutes a day to worry. The rest of the day, I constantly remind myself “it’s not worry time” and it took a few days but I find myself worrying less.

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I have a great support system want to have bad I called my support system and then and they listen it just listen and they be there for you

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Here goes! #1 thing to remember, your child needs patience from you. Which is very hard to deal with in your situation! You have a meltdown, baby will have a meltdown. Baby has a meltdown, you will have a meltdown. You and your therapist need to come up with a sensory shutdown process. Where in you put both of you in a sensory timeout. To decompress. Then start over what tasks that need to be completed. It worked for me and my son. I am boarderline personality disorder, bipolar, and he is Aspergers and ADHD. He is now 21 with a job, awife, a daughter, and living in their own place. You can do this.

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1.delete all adults who cause you stress in your life.
2. Organizers yourself,write things in a notebook.
3. Ask for help don’t do everything yourself.
4.Do the best you can and love those babies.
5. Take a day off for yourself. Make a movie day and relax.

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Wow! I don’t mean to sound hard hearted but, if you have these issues, especially Dissociative disorder, why oh why would you ever consider a child?

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