I am happily married and we have a three year old son. We live in the same town as my husbands family and they are all really close so I respect that and I am always nice to his family and care about them liking me. The past few years I’ve started becoming uncomfortable around his family because my husbands brothers and sister in law like to pick on him, especially when he’s not around. It upsets me because I adore my husband and he is a great person. I really don’t think it’s polite for them to say rude things about him to me and when I’m around. I feel like I should always stand up for him but I don’t want the family to hate me.
70 Likes
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I have become uncomfortable around my husbands family
I mean if it’s just joking, they shouldn’t be offended that you ask them no to joke like that in front of you. 
3 Likes
Maybe u should record some of the conversation n make him listen n decide. Or give them fitting answers in a polite way
4 Likes
Stand up for him and also let him know. If its joking wise tell them your not comfortable joking that type of way.
2 Likes
Imagine what they say about you when you’re not around? I don’t know if they’re that important. I would let your husband know & I would stand up for him as well. They might hate you ,but it sounds like they’re a bunch of complete idi0ts
5 Likes
They are his siblings no matter how old they get they are always gonna pick on each other 
if it’s bothering you that much tell him what is being said and let him deal with it his own way
2 Likes
Stand up for your man! If he’s a good man…respect that
1 Like
Tell them that although you know they are just kidding, it makes you uncomfortable. If that doesn’t work, only see them with your husband present.
4 Likes
You should stand up for him .
3 Likes
Just interject when you’re uncomfortable & say politely “Well I think he’s a GREAT husband & Daddy & a good brother to them too & feel his feelings may be hurt if he heard them speaking about him like that & that’s all that matters to YOU.”
Good luck hun
6 Likes
When you say nothing, you are just as guilty. Nobody dares say shit about my husband. I have cut family and friends out of my life. My marriage is my sacred space, and my husband is my hero. Nobody will defile him in front of me. Just like nobody does about me to him. If you guys are not protective of each other what is the point?
Stand up for your man!! It could be a test!!!
6 Likes
Have you told HIM why they make you uncomfortable?? I would stand up for him. Even a: That’s rude… or That’s not nice… or something !!! Don’t let bullying continue
They’re gonna hate you regardless.
3 Likes
I would not let anyone run down my husband. Family or not. He is your priority not the others.
4 Likes
Ignore them tbh cause they always say to argue with a fool makes you a greater fool
If they make fun of him just pretend like you didn’t hear it
They’ll get the message and stop
Or go totally crazy and start screaming and drag one of them
The first choice is safer
I would just let your husband deal with it if it’s something that really bothers him
They’re going to make you look bad if you do anything or say anything
They sound fake I’m pretty damn sure as soon as you leave the table you become the topic. Stand up for your husband, I know it can be nerve racking but once you do it, you will feel proud of yourself. My narcissistic brothers would always picked at my husband. In my culture you have to have respect for your older siblings so I kept quite for all these years afraid to speak up. Till one day I had enough I told everybody off even my own father and since then it’s just us against the world. Don’t be shy tell them off. 
Tell them to tell him to his face, or turn on your phone recorder and record them, and let him hear it, who cares if they hate you, as long as you don’t hate yourself which is apparently where they’re at…or simply tell them to shut up and grow up!!!
Get up and leave the room. Every time they do it. Stay until you know they’re no longer speaking that way. Then go back in the room and jump right in the conversation. They’ll figure it out pretty quick. Now if they’re the type to turn it around on you, deny any ulterior motives. Leave it on them no matter what.
2 Likes
Hell nah girl you would like for him to stick up for you if it was you right ? So you should have his back no Matter if it’s he’s family ! Tell him what they say about him and how you feel about it it’s about you two no the family !!
1 Like
Trust your instincts and stand up for him . I’d put them to shame and sing his praise !!!
4 Likes
Tell him and let him set them straight if they don’t like it so be it. If have walked away from SIL and never looked back, her and her husband done the same thing to my husband. He passed away 4 years ago and I never spoke a word to them. His sister has no family except the husband’s no grandchildren or anything and she lost all of us and with my 3 kids and their kids and a great grandson there’s 14 of us that she no one sees her loss.
1 Like
Get in where you fit in! Stand up for your man and if they don’t like it, F them!
2 Likes
Who cares if they like u or not. If that was my husband and people were talking crap I wouldn’t care who it was. Especially if it’s upsetting u as much as you say. Then it shouldn’t matter. Stand up and say something.
2 Likes
I would tell them they are being very disrespectful to you and your husband. If they don’t change just stay away.
1 Like
Families often have banter and inside jokes. If it’s not bothering him then let it go. And if it is bothering him then it’s his place to address it.
1 Like
At the end it’s you & him. Who cares if they end up disliking you.
Stand up for him
3 Likes
You don’t have to make a scene to stand up for him. You can nicely say “hey, I get y’all have your own dynamic in your family and I respect that. I don’t share that kind of thinking though, and I would just rather you not bring those kinds of thoughts to me please.”
Now if they turn it into a whole deal after you’ve nicely set a boundary that’s a red flag, and y’all might want to reconsider how much time you spend around them.
You would want him to have your back right? Soooo have his back. Dont make a scene but you will be the bad guy.
1 Like
I ask them nicely not to do that and if they don’t respect that then stay away from them
1 Like
Talk to your husband about it, ask him how you should handle it and see what he say:)
1 Like
I recommend always phrasing things as questions: “Does he know you talk about him that way? Does he talk about you that way? How do you think this makes/would make him feel? Do you really think that about him? That seems so mean. I’d be sad/hurt/devastated if you talked about me that way. (This lets them know they are out of line and to cool it when they talk behind your back). What are some things you like/admire about your brother? Tell me a sweet story about when you all got along and worked together as kids. What are your happiest memories from childhood?”
Ruts form in the brain from taking the same (insulting) route all the time. See if you can derail their routine behavior. If not, maybe see them less, and let them know why.
2 Likes
Hold up, you won’t tell them to get bent for your husband bc you want them like you?
Are you in high school? 
IDGAF who likes me bc nobody trashes my husband & I stay quiet. I cussed out my mom ever that behavior. So I’m floored you haven’t chosen to respect your husband & marriage bc you want them to like you. 
Who are you loyal too?
If your child is bullied what will you say “Get them to like you?”
I’d go off on his family & then go off on you for not protecting what’s yours. Smh
5 Likes
Follow your heart and have his back cause he’s the one who likes you. And to nit pick in front of his lady is disrespectful to you both. I’d say next time, avoid the family and just you two go somewhere romantic.
Um no, F that. You’re not talking shit about anyone I love. I’d tell them once to knock it off, the second time I have to say something…
Who cares about his family liking you. Seriously your number one priority is your husband NOT his family. Why would you want some hateful people around anyway and they probably talk crap about you behind your back. Snake in the grass is what they are watch out cause they will bite.
1 Like
Does it bother him? That may be how they’ve always interacted.
1 Like
Talk with hubby and ask how he feels about what is happening…personally i wouldnt care what they thought of me but if they were putting him done in front of him or even behind his back i would be saying " why would you say that its not very nice and he is such a wonderful person" something along those words…because people like that are do doubt talking behind your back too…i would spend less time around them…
1 Like
Learn how to turn the tables, clown them back “nicely”(lol), come up with some puns abt them and go for it! Also stop trying to walk on eggshells ard them…
2 Likes
Are they just messing around with him? Does he know about it? What does he think of all of this? Does he care or want you to say something? Are they trying to get you to join in or agree? You could always just be like no I don’t see that or I disagree with that.
1 Like
Girl…stand up for your man…who cares if they hate you…they are hating on your man…
1 Like
Setting healthy boundaries is no reason for someone to dislike you/ if they do it’s just a Narcissistic and toxic trait if you do it respectfully and say something along the lines of “I appreciate you feel comfortable discussing this with me how ever it’s very upsetting and really inappropriate to discuss these issues behind his back”
1 Like
Stick up for your husband …… the family should like you more for sticking up for him
2 Likes
Who cares if the family hate you For sticking up for ur husband.
2 Likes
I’d say it straight out.
If you’re that worried about their opinion of you, take them (one at a time) aside and talk to them privately. Ask why they do it, explain your side. See if that helps. I’m guessing it’ll probably get you in the burn list, but maybe then you’ll stop caring so much about what they think and have your husband’s six.
2 Likes
Maybe its called having a sense of humor and you could be taking it the wrong way.
5 Likes
Definitely stand up for your husband. Tell them what is on your mind
1 Like
You didn’t marry his family, you married your husband. Stand up for your husband! Wouldn’t your husband do the same for you?
1 Like
Sometimes in life we have to do what is right regardless of whether or not someone will be angry or nasty to us. You should always defend your husband…even to his own family. You establish boundaries and you determine what you will allow or not. The only person who’s opinion of you that matters is your partner.
3 Likes
Annnnd youve let this go on for years??? Youre trash with no backbone to allow that to happen.
Perception and context here…some family’s “talk shit” about other members when they aren’t around but it’s never meant maliciously. It’s like venting or poking fun to vent instead of being rude about it. Then there’s the actual rude talking shit and being rude. The poking fun and seemingly joking thing is VERY common. My family does it. We vent to each other about family members or their spouses out of frustration of just not agreeing with someone’s choices. Still love them the same, would still take a bullet and all that jazz. If you feel they are being disrespectful address it. They will respect you more for speaking up then idlely sitting by. Tell them it sounds disrespectful to him and if they are going to do so to do it when you are not around because you don’t appreciate it. You married your husband not the family, but if he is close knit with his family then they are going to be in your life, so whatever decision you make will affect the relationship with them in the future. Who knows, you may even join in on the poking fun eventually.
His family is you and your son. Your family is him and your son. When you start your own family, yes, parents, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles are still your family, but they become your extended family. You should ALWAYS defend your spouse, especially in their absence, when they can’t defend themselves. So speak up. If his family dislikes you because you won’t stand for someone talking down to or about your husband, then that shows what kind of people they are and you shouldn’t want to be a part of that family. Neither should your husband!
1 Like
I’d crush ppls souls to standup for/protect my husband no matter who it is, you should do the same
6 Likes
When they say unkind things, ask them why they’d say that. Put them on the spot. You’ll either get a laugh and the info that the remark was made in fun, or you will get your point across that you didn’t appreciate it. Probably both.
1 Like
Absolutely voice how you feel. Stand up for your husband. You can say what needs to be said in a nice way.
1 Like
Is his family and friends this way in general? My husbands friends and family “pick” on him and everyone else and he does it too, it’s funny to them and to me. Now if it’s hurtful or offensive to your husband, that’s one thing but if he’s used to it and does it too, than you’re just being hypersensitive.
3 Likes
it’s a family dynamic between them, and you’re better off staying out of that mess. He knows how to stick up for himself. Let him.
Set boundaries. Teach people how to treat you. What you allow will continue
1 Like
My husband’s sister legit blocked me for not allowing her to share pictures of our children after my latest pregnancy announcement.
Just say a good little comment to combat their bad one
2 Likes
Always protect ur own no matter what
1 Like
I see more than $ 110 an hour working from home. I never thought I could do that, but my best friend made over $ 14103 a month and convinced me to give it a try. The possibilities are endless.
Details HERE… https://Dollargarage27.surge.sh
Are they joking? My family and my SOs family are always roasting us/each other lol like we legit say mean/funny things all the time. 
Nah stand up for him! 
their feelings. Start recording it too!
Dear you do the right thing defending him. but show them you won’t tolerate by saying PARDON, pardon and keep saying til they either stop or explain. Do it every time they start.
IT will soon shut them up.
Consider the source and know nothing you say will change a thing. So have pity on the losers. It is the least you can and should do.
1 Like
Girl you gotta have his back!!
1 Like
I have had to say hey , I get your family but please dont talk abt him like that around me because as his girl/ wife I have way to much respect for him to be comfortable with that thanks .
2 Likes