Why is your child meeting someone 2 months into you dating them???
Hate to say it buuuut at 4 1/2 her development isn’t there to amuse herself for 30 minutes. They say 1 minute for every year. She’s also probably just settling into school after starting in September she has alot going on in her life mumma, alot of change and you adding a new bf in the mix probably isn’t helping her wrap her head around it all
STOP introducing your daughter to guys you barely know
So how many men have you been bringing around your daughter???
Wow these comments suck. Lol
She’s clingy? That’s your fkn kid! You need to put her needs first. She obviously is uncomfortable and doesn’t like when he’s around. I’m sorry but who knows if he’s a creep. Do better.
It was to soon introducing a boyfriend of 2 months. Should wait at least 6 months. Go to therapy. You created this situation. You need help fixing it.
For your daughters safety I feel like first we have got to not bring men we’ve only known 2 months around her. That’s not safe. Statistics prove this is dangerous behavior.
Please don’t leave your daughter alone with this man you’ve only known for 2 months!!!
My daughter was 1 when I dated again, but he took the time to pay attention to her ques and just be present and respected her and get to know her. She had never been around a man and was terrified of them. Eventually she grew comfortable and would play with him and it was easier. it’s hard when it’s just you and her for so long, it’s a transition.
Unlike most of these people I can understand you and you’re desires, being a parent is rough and mommas need love and affection too but you can’t expect her to become independent that fast. If you are comfortable having him around her just make her comfortable and make sure he is ok with her being put first. Try doing things together and not focusing on getting her to another place so you can be alone.
You just gotta remember you are her number one… these things take time, right now if it’s so important and you both are on the same page , just be together with her. There will be time for alone stuff later on. It’s just the way it is.
however if you can not take that time and he is not willing to do the work then I would suggest not dating right now or get a sitter.
Put her in preschool. So she could start learning to be without you.
She is 4.5 yrs old not all kids do things at certain ages
She is used to having her all to herself
I’m not trying to be rude
But you are coming across as putting you and some bloke your seeing needs
before your kid’s needs
I am curious to know Why you have introduced him to your kid
After only 8 weeks of dating him
Your child may be feeling he is going to take you away from her
I’m so annoyed that people think they’re helpful by telling you you shouldn’t have introduced them. What’s done is done, that’s not helpful… at all.
I will say, my daughter was that age when my son was born, and she had a really hard time coping with sharing me. I think that part is normal. If you’re into this guy, maybe make your time together more about “family time” - do things that engage your daughter too. Go bowling, family movie night, go to the park, etc. As far as alone time with him, have a sitter for private dates.
Good luck, momma.
You’ve only been dating for 2 months and you take your kid around them??? Ouch.
Why are you taking your daughter near a man you barely know . She is clearly jealous . you don’t even barely know this man . Get a baby sitter .
why is your daughter around this individual so soon? you know nothing of this individual & putting your child in their life why?
2 months and obviously he has been around your child since day 1…WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU…DESPERATE…GROW UP!!! WHERE IS HER DAD…ARE YOU GETTING CHILD SUPPORT AND DOES HER DAD HAVE VISITATION…GROW UP AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES INSTEAD OF SEEKING ANOTHER BABY DADDY!!!
I am 73, raised my children and "helped most of my grandchildren. How about just trying a couple of ,“ol fashion” spanks on the bottom???
I think all 3 of you should engage together do family things. And treat her no different then before he was in the picture. If she was clingy and you allowed it before you were with him but now you don’t want to allow it because he’s in the picture it’s showing her he is more important than her. I didn’t int3oduce my boyfriend to my son for a year… after a year we started slow family outings once a week but not at the house or his home. Then we started with dinner at my house. After year 2 we were more frequent and started over nights year 3 he moved in. My son had a tough time but my boyfriend was patient with him and didn’t take it personally. We have been together almost 7 years we have a 4 year old together my son and him are really close. I’d slow it down to be honest.
Ur kids over ur bf end of story 2 months… Red flag… This is how bad shit happens like assault and stuff…
Why tf is your daughter meeting someone you’ve been seeing for TWO MONTH?!?!?!
Why is your kid meeting someone you’re dating after 8 weeks?! Wtf
Deep down in her own way she is trying to tell you something important. She evidently senses something just isn’t right & she isn’t comfortable. Please pay close attention.
Quite a bit of judgment from people who don’t know your circumstances. Is it just your daughter and you? Most of the time? Is there friends, acquaintances, kindergarden time, play ground time for her socializing and play with others than you? To raise a somewhat independent child she needs some self-assurance and guidance to do things for herself. It starts small with learning to set breakfast table, getting her bowl and cereal and milk out. Dressing herself, washing and brushing hair herself etc. Numerous smaller tasks with lots of praise and develops into ‘mommy’s little helper’ with house hold chores. Instead of expecting her to amuse herself, when a guest comes in, greet together as a unit. When coffee is offered you get the cup, she gets the spoon etc. I’m a different generation, my kids are grown and I have little ‘grandma’s helpers’ now, who fill my washing machine, throw the tide pod in. They vacuum, they shop for the stuff on the lower shelves. Yes, it’s a little more time consuming, but the independence, knowledge, self-assuredness gained by taking care of themselves is worth it. Let’s just say I’m not demanding that my kids and grandkids get taught basic life skills at school.
She’s being normal.
I feel some forget you also need adult company.
Daycare a few days a week.
Have special days with her with yourself, have special days with the three of you, get bf to have time with her : play toy games, reading time.
Big hugs mumma
2 months is to soon for you to have some one around your kids in my opinion I’m sorry I would wait until you know the relationship is going to last instead of have your children around people coming in and out of.there life … if there acting out now wait it gets worse if you have multiple relationships … don’t want to sound rude just being honest
Kids come 1st. And she still needs her comfort person.
I’m sorry but if you have been dating someone for 2 months you have no business having them around your children.
I get it I understand I re-entered the dating world after divorce with a 4 1/2 year old and a 2 year old. It’s not easy. It’s hard to put forth the time that some people want from you. But at the end of the day if that person is for you they will understand. I didn’t introduce anyone to my children if I hadn’t been serious with them number one not dating I’m talking this could go somewhere let’s see what my kids think. My girls are number one if they didn’t like who I was with. That’s it. It’s done. My SO who is my youngest father came into the situation well aware of my rules and expectations in regards to my children and me dating and he respected that. If I had my kids I didn’t see him we would FaceTime after they went to bed and chat and we would text but there was no seeing me when I had my kids unless I had a sitter. He respected it and it wasn’t a problem if your guy was for you then it wouldn’t be a problem.
I’m sorry it’s your choice what you do how you raise your children. But I just don’t agree with children being brought into an adult relationship too early.
As far as a the self soothing and potty stuff. She’s 4 1/2 and she may just need more time to learn how to self soothe and cope. she’s a child. She needs your support and love in the moment then you should indulge her otherwise she won’t grow up emotionally regulated at all. Too many people try to force a child to grow up too early. They are not little adults it takes them a while to learn coping techniques and if she has external stressors and changes going on you’re her safe space. She should always be able to come back to you to center.
It’s hard my nephew is and he’s 4 but due to things happening at his dad’s it makes him clingy. When she does do something on her own praise her. My daughter is 6 and likes yo try to get me to do things for her I wont I tell her if she wants to do big kid things she has to do it herself. Or you can try when you get hugs make her feel involved and loved with the person your seeing so they can bond and grow a relationship
I would say that 2 months is too early to intruduce someone to your child, especially if she is that young…and even more so if her relationship with her dad is strained. Stop taking her around the new bf, clearly she isnt comfortable and isnt coping well. I’d wait until YOU’VE known him significantly longer and get to know him and his intentions with your guys relationship.
Um ma’am… child independence doesn’t happen at 4yrs old. I have an almost 15 and almost 17 yr old who still demand much attention… part of being a parent is knowing and loving that the human you created depends on you. One day ur gonna miss the hugs and cuddles and playing on the floor… they don’t do that at 14 or 17 anymore. I know I miss it.
2 months is long enough to have been dating someone and have introduced him to your daughter. My opinion
Maybe she misses her biological daddy. She’s still a baby. Take the time to nurture her, and gradually take time for you.
You’ve been dating this guy for 2 months & you’re involving your daughter already? That’s your first problem.
You can’t be alone but you expect your daughter to be alone?
You need to concentrate on being her mom not filling your bed.
I wouldn’t have ANY Man Iev barely known 2 Month’s around My child. Thats Way too soon in My opinion, Nor would I be displaying ANY form of affection with this STRANGER Infront of My child. STOP and ask yourself, If it could be the reason for her Acting out. It’s 100% OK for YOU as an adult to be READY to Date, But as a PARENT You have to consider that Your CHILD May NOT be ready for you to be Dating Nor should they know you are UNTIL a Relationship has been established and long-term goals have been discussed and agreed on.
It’s been 2 months with this guy and you got your kid around him. Is this someone she already knew? She’s 4 how independent should she be? Sounds like you have your own interests ahead of hers and you need to grow up.
Stop dating whoever ur dating she obviously doesn’t like him and it will cause major issues in the future
It’s crazy amount of shame on here. I don’t see anywhere in the post where she wanted to be judge on here maybe she doesn’t have a sitter. You could wait 2 months or 2 years. I personally rather wait 2 months so you know how he is around the kid
Maybe she has adhd. I never thought my daughter had it and was very puzzled as to why she was so clingy. I couldn’t.t leave a room without her acting out. She grew older and just refused to be normal. As an adult she found out she had adult ADHD.
1st of all she’s 4 & already asking 2 much from her & now after only 2 months of dating some guy u want to bring him around ur young child ? & u want to know why she’d acting out ? If y really want to date do it for awhile then slowly talk 2 her about it & slowly bring him into the picture ur child should come 1st
Your child comes first no way this guy would be around my daughter after dating 2 months get a sitter n go to his place. Hope u wouldn’t think of moving in together at all. You have a child u need to protect u need to really know this guy a long time before he’s around your child. Sorry life s not perfect don’t be selfish thats how it is when u have children.
Get a babysitter you trust and know well for times you’re with your new…and keyword very NEW boyfriend. You shouldn’t be bringing a man you just met two months ago into her life. She’s can be acting out when you take her to his house because she doesn’t know the place or the man and it’s unfamiliar therefor probably makes her uneasy. Yes you deserve to date and yes you deserve a break but you have to do it in a way that keeps your daughter safe and cared for so you can get that alone time with him and really get to know him and introduce him into your daughter’s life slowly only when you’ve been seeing him for long enough to be sure it’s a good choice and even then always keep an eye on your child. Acting out and behavior changes can also mean they are being sexually abused so if you are leaving him alone with her or letting him stay the night under same roof as your child even just sometimes, you should not be. And I’m not trying to sound rude and not trying to be judgemental. I’m just saying it is always better safe then sorry when it comes to our kids.
She didn’t say that its for this boyfriend. You all so dumb. Give her advice instead of assuming BULLSHIT. GROW THE FUCK UP