I Have Dreams of Going to Medical School, Should I Have a Baby with My Boyfriend?

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"I am 27 & have never been pregnant. I just got into a new relationship about 2 months ago after being single for a year and a half and I like him so much, (he is 25) Ever since the day we first hung out I knew we were going to be together and together for a long time. We have literally spent every single day together since we met. We aren’t perfect and do get into arguments at times, but I definitely do feel like this is something special. One of my biggest dreams has always been to become a doctor which is what I am currently working on as a premed student, & ironically his sister is a medical student. He always tells me about how happy and grateful he is for her fiancé because he treats her so well and has helped her so much financially while she is in school, he tells me he looks up to his soon to be brother in law & that is the type of man he wants to be to me. He promises that’s the man he is going to be to me. One time while having a conversation with his aunt (he was not there) she told me in confidence that he was asking her what she thought about me, & telling her that he wants to be how his brother in law is to his sister, to me & that he is ready to be serious in his life. I am normally not one to believe everything a guy tells me, but he seems so genuine & for him to tell his aunt that, it made me feel like he means it. Anyways we are very sexually active and are not protecting ourselves at all. I have taken plan b once before, but now any time he finishes in me and I talk to him about plan b, he tells me he doesn’t want me to take it. Today I asked him if he is trying to get me pregnant and he said yes that he really want to have a baby with me and that he has never felt this way before, I told him I am not sure because we just got together and I really want to get into medical school & things will be so hard for me in school and there is always an chance of us not working out and me being a single mom and he said I will go to medical school, that he will be here for me, & that we won’t break up to not even say that and I continued with it’s a possibility because we are so new and he continued with “we are not breaking up I promise you”. A small part of me day dreams about me actually getting pregnant and having a baby and making things work & conquering my goals but the other part tells me I need to be realistic because we still are in the honey moon stage and we are barely getting to know each other. What do you guys recommend I do? Am I being dumb?"

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The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"Your relationship is way too new. Way too new. And you want a child and Medical school. Give yourself a chance. You are piling up way too much. Talk is cheap. Don’t let someone else hold your dreams in their hands."

"I can’t even finish reading all this madness. First of all , I do believe people can fall in love and they can fall in love fast. But I don’t believe if you are already arguing at any point- that ,that is love. Because, I have had a disagreement and it be over in 5 seconds and be over it completely. When you’re in love with someone you agree with things and you talk about things before they happen. The way you are describing things, decisions have been taken from you. You need to stop going without protection and you need to reevaluate yourself. Because, honestly I do not think this is love. This does sound however, like a past relationship that I’ve personally had with a narcissistic abusive person. I am afraid for you."

"I’d just like to say this screams red flags to me. He is actively trying to get you pregnant after two months of knowing you … without even discussing this … he has known you for TWO MONTHS . I personally would run a mile from this person . IF this is the man of your dreams and you are meant to be he will still be there when you are a doctor… go become a doctor as this has been your dream not just for two months. You will 100% regret having a baby with someone who is trying to get you pregnant after two months … that sounds so controlling"

"Girl forget him go to medical school."

"After two months? Umm no. Absolutely don’t get pregnant by this person. He most likely tells every girl he gets in a relationship with that “he’s never felt this way before"

"Go to school and wait on a baby…that way if it don’t work out your set up to financially support this child one day when u have one…"

"Too soon. Go to school and continue to get to know him… you’re only 27, you have plenty of time."

"It takes 4 or more years to truly know someone!!! Wait! Protect yourself and finish working on you first!! If he’s the one on down the road y’all will have plenty of time for kids!"

"Finish school and protect yourself. Make a life then think about a family."

"If you are asking for advice then you already know the answer."

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