I have helped my friend by babysitting for her: Advice?

Hi ladies in need of advice… for the past 3 weeks I’ve been helping a friend by babysitting while she worked as she’s a single mom and also has bills to pay. I offered to get paid less than what any baby sitter asks for and was promised id get paid on a specific day. Fast forward to her pay day and she hasn’t paid me but asked her ex for the money. I don’t understand though it should be her paying me not him… anyways it’s been 2 days and I haven’t gotten the money mind you she’s gone for 6-7 hours at a time. That’s reasonable I can handle her child but my main motivation was the $ bc I’m a sahm. My question is should I continue to help her? She saidddd she’ll pay me back tomorrow but that’s what she said yesterday and the day before


Execute a lil common sense here would u!!!


I would just be blunt with her and tell her that you are there to help her out and cheaper than other sitters, but you have a family to provide for as well! If she can’t pay you on the day she says then it will no longer workout. Or tell her each day that she doesn’t pay you past the scheduled day that you will add late fees to it! Or something! she is taking advantage of you and it isn’t right!


I would give her a 48 hour notice. If you do not have the money on X day you will not be able to watch her child any more until you receive payment.

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Get your money or stop.

Well, first, why do you care where the money comes from? So what if she gets it from her ex. Why does that even matter to you? Seriously, that’s fucking ridiculous to be mad over the money coming from someone else besides her. Grow up on that part.

Second, no. You shouldn’t keep helping. She said she would pay you on said day and hasn’t.
I would tell her, until you pay me, I will not be able to babysit. However, you will run the risk of never receiving that money. But, I would tell her from here on out that you need the money in advance since she can’t be trusted to pay you when she says she would.

Lost a “friend” over this. I watched her. Hold for 6 weeks nonpayment. Tried waiting, negotiations, days of notice and all she did was find another sitter to con out of their time and again not pay. I no longer babysit past the arranged payment date and for the first pay period I require daily payment to prove they can be trusted an entire pay period.

Yes…be firm, she owes you period whether shes gets you your money from him or herself. Dont let her walk all over you or take advantage with the friend card. :+1:


Its probably her ex’s kid so he should be helping with payment and be blunt and honest with her.


If the ex’s is the child’s father I believe its only right that he helps her with child care no matter if they’re not together.


Just tell her straight up.

It’s ok to give a friend some extra time, but give her a set date. "Listen, I know you’re struggling girl and I’m glad we worked out a plan that helps you out and helps me out too. I really need the money by Monday if I’m going to watch the child next week. I don’t want it to get messy and I certainly don’t want it to cause trouble in our friendship, so I’m just trying to keep the plan in line so that we can both keep reaping the benefits :slight_smile: "


If she’s a friend just be honest with her. Tell her you want to help by giving a cheaper date but have to be paid or you can no longer sit.

Just be upfront and honest. Tell her how you feel about this…and you have every right to feel like that. If she doesn’t understand…then she doesn’t deserve your help and is taking advantage of you.

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I agree that the father should be helping pay for child care like some of the others. However, SHE should be paying you and asking him to reimburse her. She is the one who hired you, not him. It’s her responsibility. (I’m a single mom too, when I hire someone, it’s on me to make sure the sitter gets paid) I wouldn’t babysit again until I got paid in full for the time that is already owed.

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Just tell her she needs to pay you or you stop babysitting. And it doesn’t matter who pays you as long as you get paid.


I would not enable the disfunctionality

It’s an agreement between yourself and her. The problem between getting money from her ex has nothing to do with you. Her most important person to pay at payday is her child care provider because that is who makes it possible for her to work in the first place. I would just tell her I couldn’t do it anymore.

Get the money or tell her you can no longer help her.


Wait 3 days no money no babysitting, that simple nothing in this world is free unless u are truley financially stable enough to help your friend out without being paid

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To me it doesn’t matter who the money comes from. If her ex is the kid’s dad, maybe this is the arrangement they came up with, having you watch the kid is less expensive and maybe that money is part if his contribution to the kid. If I were you I would tell the friend that you need to be paid before you watch the kid again, and then stick to your guns. Friends aren’t immune to being taken advantage of by a friend.

I would also add that she likely qualifies for childcare assistance as a single mother (not sure what state/country you live in). The reduced rate might be cheaper than what you are charging.

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Personally I would keep helping because she might be struggling but if something else comes along I would tell her I have to do it and can’t babysit anymore

Been there done that. Give her extra time
However one " friend" still owes me $500. Picked up and left the state and blocked me on everything.

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No cash no babysitting

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No she’s taking advantage of you tell her you’re no longer babysit unless you get paid first in advance every week


Sometimes we thought that we are being a good samaritan actually we are making this person to live her life in a good spoiled way with out us helper knowing it we are being silently abused and leading her to more wrong way of life because she can get away so :stop_sign: and don’t even hope for the money God will Bless you for your kindness

I had this same issue. Becareful. You’ll get walked all over for being a decent human being.

I’d sit down and have a talk with her. Maybe there are some things going on that you don’t know about. I’m guessing she is working her butt off and really trying to make ends meet and wants to pay you. And you definitely deserve to get paid. Just don’t write her off yet. See if maybe she needed that money for medications or something else that is important also.

No cash no more babysitting…

No. You need to write up a contract that details Both of your requirements. I usually give them 2 days past payday and then care discontinued until payment was made. Dont let her take advantage of you.

I’m a single mom with a similar arrangement. I pay weekly on time sometimes earlier. There’s no reason for her not to pay you.

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If you stop babysitting now you will never be paid, could lose a friend. If you continue she will owe more and you’ll never be paid, eventually lose a friend.

  1. cut all ties- no friendship no more babysitting, lose money and a friend, save the drama-your choice.
  2. keep babysitting, except that you’ll never be paid, tell her that you are not expecting past payment but will discontinue care on such and such date, but eventually resent her or not depending on you being a good person-but remain friends with no trust, could be drama so be prepared.

she will make you feel like the bad one but remember she is leaving you no easy choice. Give her these options, see if she’s willing to pay up.

I would just say, I know this are hard for you right now but unfortunately I won’t be able to keep babysitting until I’ve been paid for the babysitting I’ve already done. Say sorry if that makes this hard for her but you had an agreement and you can’t babysit for free. Then see what happens from there.

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She’s taking advantage of your friendship. Talk to her about getting paid for babysitting.

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Its a hard one. I would want to help cause shes my friend…but at the same time it sounds like ur being used.

I did this for a lady thru a mommy’s group and she and her ex tried claiming that the child was crying and that I wasn’t changing her diapers so I dropped them real fast. She wasn’t paying on time and was insinuating that I wasn’t taking care of her child? No, I don’t need your money that bad.

you are being used stop it now before it gets way out of hand.

How good of friend was she before this? Is it costing you anything to have her child at your house(meals, snacks, and drinks)? How often is the child at your house? Is it worth losing a friend over? Personally, I don’t charge to watch a good friend’s child, but I’ve never done it more than occasionally. The last child I watched regularly, the mom would bring everything needed (food, drinks, diapers, etc. Even enough snacks for my kids too). I would say cut some slack, but don’t get used. Good luck.

I wouldn’t babysit anymore for her unless she pays.

First, it’s not your concern where she gets the money if she pays you. Like it should not matter if she gets it from her husband or ex husband or her mom or a job or a loan or whatever as long as she pays you as agreed. As far as her not paying you, you should just talk to her about it. She’s your friend right? Just ask her what’s up? Tell her how you are feeling and find out the reason she hasn’t paid you yet. Just talk to your friend


I do home child care. This is how I finally learned to require payment in advance of care. I work hard all day to care for children and I should not have to beg for my pay!

Give her a deadline to have you paid in full (ASAP) and then require all future payments be made before or at drop off the first day of the week or the child/ children can’t stay. You have to have a backbone though, because they will test you. If you can’t do that, tell her it’s not going to work out, consider the money a loss and most likely your friendship since she’ll probably stiff you. Sorry :confused:

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Stop doing so she willhave excuses . U r being taken for franire and advantage i been through this now myself cut ties. They think u not doing anything that it wont matter taking up your time

Nope shes using you because your her friend. I wouldn’t babysit anymore

Okay so I’m the OP. Shes a friend from HS. she did provide some snacks. I babysit her child 2-3 days a week for $20 a day! Less than $5/hr. She provided some snacks but I do share my own kids stuff with her baby. I’ve baby sat 5 days the past $ weeks and the amount was $100 for her to pay me Thursday. This morning I called her for the money and she came and gave me $60. I said it’s supposed to be $100 and she asked why? I luckily wrote down when and how many hours I babysat in my calendar and she said nothing else just “ill pay you later tonight”

The reason I’m upset is because I’ve been needing the money for a couple days now and she’s taking her sweet sweet time. She sent me a SS of her and her baby daddy saying she paid for groceries and her phone bill. But I feel like I should’ve been the priority. What made me more upset is that I planned on going to the club with her + others tonight, and have been planning it since Wednesday, the only way i get in is if she pays me, so it’d be messed up for her to hit the club and not pay her baby sitter. Anyways after I get the $40 she tried to not pay me, I am telling her I can’t babysit anymore. Originally my plan was to help her babysit until I move out (too far from her job to bring me her child).

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Im a single mom.msybe she needs the help

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She’s using u. Drop her…

No leave her high and dry if she really needs a sitter she will find one when someone takes your kindness to help and takes advantage of it just walk away she is not a friend she is a user and will keep doing it unless you put your foot down and stop it God Bless your kind heart

No don’t watch the child anymore. If she can’t pay you & keeps making excuses then you don’t need that kind of headache. Unless of course you need the money that bad, then that’s a different story

Sorry, I cant watch kiddo anymore until you are caught up on payment. And going forward I’ll need to be paid upfront.
That’s how daycare is.

Dont give her any more time to pay you she mostly using you if she goes out to party she needs pay you first cut her loose.she not you friend.always get paid up first day week friend or not. In business you have no friends or you. A non profit. Bet your making this you in this to support your family!and be with your kids.dont let any one take advantage of you . Your doing a service.