I am back at work after my maternity leave. Baby girl is almost 5 months. So I’ve been back about 2. Her care during the week is split, two days with grammy and papa, 2 with auntie, and I have one off. Auntie days are in our household and she seems to do great overall. Days at grammy and papa’s aren’t so great. She practically scream cries from the moment I leave until I get back. I don’t know if it’s an environmental thing or what, but I’m at a loss. I’ve left work a few times but I can’t keep leaving every time she becomes inconsolable as much as I wish could. The mom guilt is unbearable and I just have so much anxiety on these days… They are getting harder and harder to get through. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I have mom guilt for leaving my daughter for work
If you 
trust her grandparent then it could be environmental. It might be noisier or quieter than her home. It smells and looks different. Maybe something that smells like you. A recording or video of you she can hear telling her it’s ok. Or if they could watch her at your home.
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She’s still little. It’ll just take her awhile to adjust. Do the grandparents “want” to watch her or is it kinda a have to situation? Bc babies can pick up on that to so if they don’t really “want” to but feel obligated then she knows!
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I have 9 grandkids. All have stayed with me but I have 1 that don’t Luke coming to my house. He is 1 1/2. He does not like me watching him. I keep trying he is good as long as mom or dad Is there
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You know he is inconsolable at the grandparents? Kids cry when you leave but often are OK once the door shuts. Maybe sleep with a baby-safe stuffie, and some baby clothes so they smell like you. Then send with baby to the grandparents’ house.
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Try having one of them do the 2 days at your place to see if that’s what it is
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I would ask if they would consider watching her at your house, you pay their gas & meals.
If they won’t do that, hire a sitter to come to your home on those days. Littles are already dealing with a lot in you leaving, so being in their comfortable environment at home helps them calm down some.
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Is the baby breastfed…My grandaughter did that because she wouldn’t take a bottle…very stressful for me…working full time and having her at night …screamed 5 hours in her own environment and couldnt go anywhere with strangers around…at 1 year she went to daycare…I was worried…She is 6 now and so social and a leader go figure…
Try having Grammy and papa babysit at your place and see if it helps especially since she’s okay while her aunt watches her at your place.
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Maybe they could watch her at your home?
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Send her with a piece of your worn clothing so she can still have your home /your scent
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Maybe granny and papa can watch baby at your house?
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Could they keep her at your house???
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Leave a piece of clothing that you’ve worn with your child, the grandparents can lay her on it or drape it over their shoulder while cuddling your child, hope this helps x
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Take something with her that smells like you when she goes to the grandparents.
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That’s kinda weird tbh. I can understand she cries when you walk out or hand her over but to the extreme you have to leave work??? Unless you carry her around all day at home and they put her in a crib, playpen etc and she hates it I’m at a loss because after 2 months she should be used to her routine…
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She will eventually adapt… if leaving work isnt an option, then you will have to let her be and get used to the arrangement. Shes 5 months old you say… i do find it alil strange that she hasnt adapted yet
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Some babies since nervous people easily not saying that is the case but if they tense up when the baby starts to cry a baby can pick up on that and it makes them tense to and cry more. Tell them totry to remain a calm feeling when holding the baby to that the baby doesn’t pick up on that. That’s something they’ll have to work on I’m sure but it will help out. Just another suggestion may not be the case.
When your off work spend time with them without the child knowing you are there and see if it could be the case.
The other suggestions from the others are also good ideas to.
Good luck and I totally understand your concerns that happens to be the case with some of the children that I’ve worked with. The others around me are like this and that’s the case in their situations.
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Separation anxiety. Try spending time with the grandparents in the same room in other occasions so she’s reassured you’re coming back. Have them over at your house for short visits if possible so they become increasingly familiar with you and them together.
When you do leave her there don’t drag it out. Just drop her reassure her it’s a natural phase some babies just peak earlier than others.
I would also try to spend a few hours over there with the baby on your off day just to get her more comfortable in the environment
You don’t know what their rules are or should I say parenting style? Something is wrong!
Sounds like she may have a degree of separation anxiety
And the older generation have different ideas then the younger generation does