I just found out my daughter has been skipping school: Advice?

What would you do if you found out your child was skipping school? I just got a letter in the mail that my daughter hasn’t been in class (10th grade) for an entire week. They said they have been trying to contact me, but I just realized she blocked the school’s number on my phone. I honestly am at a loss. Her father passed away last year, and I am doing the best I can; and I know she is struggling; I just don’t know how to go about this. Please help!

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Just sit her down, and tell her you just want to listen to whatever she needs to tell you is going on in her world right now. And mean it. If she’s willing to open up, go into it with an open mind and heart and take it all in before responding. She’s probably going through a rough time… maybe grief and then the drama that can come from that age in school… it can all build up and be alot, especially for girls. If a sit down doesn’t work… try breaking the ice with some special time together. Doing something you both love, or something you haven’t done together in a while. She still should be held accountable for missing school and blocking the schools number, but if she opens up, that should be considered and valued. Hope this helps!

Talk to her, or get someone to talk to her. She must be going through a lot. Listen to how she feels and get her help, whatever that may be.

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Sooo you have to give it to her that was pretty smart :rofl: i wish I could have blocked the schools number when I was in school .

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Obviously you have to talk to her, but calmly.
Get all your mad/disappointment/frustration out first.
Then, maybe seek a counselor for her, actually, both of you.

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Definitely talk to her. Find out where and what she has been doing during that time.

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I heard of a parent who went to school with their child and held their hand all day in every class and even raised their hand & participated in classes - possibly even just the threat of that would encourage attendance

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R u low income if so there’s a military school over in Bremerton that takes dropouts to better them and is a High school too

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Sit Down & Talk To Her Try To Get A Understanding Of Whats Going On Is She In Counseling?

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There is special therapy for children who have lost a parent. She needs a ton of support. Be involved in that therapy.

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Sounds like a mental break is needed. No it’s not rewarding her behaviour. It’s acknowledging she’s a human being who is going through a fresh loss still. Creating space for her to decompress would be a great beginning for more dialogue, then when you’re both ready create a plan together

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Shes smart. And shes going to rule the world one day.
Talk to her. Ask her what you need to do to help her. Getting on to her will just make her rebel worse. So… idk… but that’s what I’d try

Go down to her level, talk to her, ask her if she is okay.

Organise a psychologist, so they can explain how her emotions and brain function etc.

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Talk to her. It sounds like she might still be having a hard time with the loss of her dad. That is such a confusing and hard age also on top of dealing with such a big loss. Maybe a therapist could help her too. Good luck! :heart:

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I am sorry for your loss. She may be screaming for attention

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Talk too her and try counseling I know my 4 kids esp my twin daughters needed both after there mom passed

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May be too much going to school. I dropped out in 11th grade and got GED bc health issues were too much after being in a car wreck and catching up felt impossible on top of it. Maybe give her the option of studying for GED if school is too much. Starts with a sit down talk to figure out the problem.

Well one thing is for sure she’s definitely smart

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My mama called the law on me. It was my senior year. I was very embarrassed as the police took me to school and escorted me to class I cut that out real quick as in I did not miss another single day ever again. Talk about scared straight

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So I was in her position when I was in 12th grade. It was the worst time in my life and school just seemed pointless. I did struggle to graduate, I had to go to summer school. But ultimately I couldn’t mentally handle being there, especially after he died and people I rarely/never spoke to were trying to talk about it. I’m sure most meant well but I just couldn’t do it. I agree cut her some slack. Not to say it’s 100% ok, but I’d let her know you know and ask what she needs and how you can help.

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Skipping is something most of us have done. With her father passing is most likely why its going on. I suggest you both go to grief counseling together and separate. Youth grief groups will also help her. Knowing other are feeling similar will help. Im sorry for your loss

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I was the child that did this after my parents second divorce with each other…
I needed support, therapy, lots of love, a change and a break…
I’m now my own boss and have a happy and healthy family…
So sorry for your loss. Best of blessings for you and your daughter :revolving_hearts:

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Talk to her calmly but give her no option to go back to school to empower herself. This is about her.

Surprised she’s skipping school considering most places are still under quarantine from this corona. However if she lost her dad an stopped attending school talking too her maybe counseling but honestly coming from person who lost their father as well. Counseling will only help manage the loss but it’s unforgettable it’s a huge imprint later on in life when you wanna get married an your dad’s not there to walk u down isle.

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Is she in councling? Does she need to do regular school?
Some kids do better on a homeschool program.
Sit and talk to her, let her know you are pretty disapointed that she skipped school, blocked scool and essentially lied but Understand she is struggling. Ask what she thinks she needs.
Councling will be a good start.

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As a kid who skipped a lot of school, just talk to her. Get her into counseling. She’s struggling and probably doesn’t know how to talk about it. Talk about options with her, taking time off school, switching to online or homeschool, dropping out and getting her GED. Good luck! You’ve both been through a lot and she needs you to just be there and support her.

TALK TO HER! Maybe she really needed a break but was too nervous to ask you or didn’t know how to tell you. It might not be her deliberately “doing wrong” but just needing to breath.

Grief counseling ASAP. It took 7 years for my middle son after his father passed to help him get on track. She’s trying to process grief and it’s hard.

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i quit going to school after my dad passed away, it was just so hard. i would recommend asking her if she wants to vent with you about it, or if she wants counseling. counseling helped me out quite a bit.

Just talk to her.

When i was skipping school my parents didnt care enough to talk to me about my problems and why I was skipping, they just tried to scare me with the police, which didnt work.

Maybe public school isnt for her right now, maybe its too much for her. They have alternative schooling where you go 2 or 3 days a week instead of 5.

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I would let her know that I knew she was struggling. Then ask her what she needs from you to help her. Counseling home schooling a date night just for the two of you maybe once a week. Let her know you are there and willing to do what it takes to get her through this tragedy. Good luck and God bless.

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All I can say is what I did for my daughter, what was the right move for us. I drove to the school, pulled her out of class, removed her from the school, took away her cell phone and enrolled her in home schooling. She never saw those people again and she’s doing awesome in school! She made new friends and went on trips with the school. This is what my daughter needed, she needed to be saved and I believe it was the only way. I was a bad kid so anything she was doing, I had already did and worse so she couldn’t fool me. The only difference was that my mom took a different approach because she didn’t know better and I was lost to the world and pregnant by 16. I had to do what I needed to do, she has since gained my trust in her, she has a cell phone, has plenty of outings with her new friends and I even allow her a boyfriend that visits at my home and that I accept as part of our family when he visits. You know what is right for your child and when it’s right, you just have to do what you think is best and don’t be afraid. Once a parent fears their child, you’ve lost.

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Me being a single mom years ago mam I found that scolding didn’t work. She’s missing you. See if there’s a school councillor. It helped.

Choice go to school or do it online but grades are what matter so how ever she can make that happen. Some kids are still ft on line and doing good.

Get her in to see a therapist. Losing a parent is crippling. Ugh I was her at 13 and honestly without the tools to cope and grieve it’s going to come out sideways and get worse. Intervene now. Spend extra time with her.

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Has She been in therapy for the grief.? Might be a step in the door for therapy.

May want to check out the kids she’s hanging out with too. Peer pressure. A boyfriend too. Ask the if you can escort her to and from class for 2 or 3 days.

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My mom passed when I was young I ended up doing the same thing. If she’s not in therapy I recommend it. I knew I needed it but no one would listen to me and it took a long time to deal with the loss. And I was doing a lot of self destructive behaviors in the meantime. I am so sorry for your loss and wish you the best.

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I did this as a teenager. I see alot of people saying oh be calm seek a counselor. Honestly coming from my experience you need to be firm and put a strict punishment in place. If a child knows there will be no punishment they will continue to repeat the same actions.

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Maybe counseling
And I must admit she’s pretty smart​:woman_facepalming:t2::rofl:

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Haha. My mom would’ve escorted me not only to school, but sat through my entire class to make sure I stayed there.

Now, obviously that’s probably not an option. But this is two fold. 1) shes not going to school, so you need to find out where she IS going and who she’s with.

  1. She deliberately planned this and deliberately blocked school from your phone. There should be separate consequences for that.

It’s ok to struggle and not be ok with her dads death. What’s not ok is to do whatever she wants with no regard for the consequences. Sit her down and talk to her. Then decide consequences.

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So when I was in high school I was dealing with trauma and of course I didn’t tell my parents about it and a few times I intentionally did not go to school or go to class but I never thought to block the schools number. Honestly you said she is dealing with grieving first I would sit down and talk to her about that person to person and don’t be mad with her. Ask her is there something bothering her and ask her what she’d like done. Now of course her using your phone obviously without your permission to do something that should be a different punishment

I too in my highschool years skipped school for 2 weeks. I was going thru trauma myself. I needed some total understanding and love that’s all. But I never got that from my folks. so my rebellion carried on and on and on

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My best friend did the same thing (blocking the school from calling her parents) . I’m not sure what to tell you mama . Our parents would drop us off at the door and we’d still skip . My mom ended up letting me drop out and her mom put her in homeschool where the teacher came a few times a week . Sending good vibes your way :heart: is she interested in any sports / teams / clubs ? They’ll kick you out for skipping so maybe getting her in one of those may help . But only if she wants to cause it’ll just have the opposite effect if not .

I got A/B/C’S all thru highschool and I gotta say I skipped ALOT… sometimes its just being in the classroom and sitting there and your just bored of it. You need to escape.

Who tf laughed at this??

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Confront her and the behavior and get yourselves a game plan and maybe a family counselor.

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If she just loss her dad that’s heartbreaking enough for her. Talk with her about her dad, maybe she needs to release some pain, and under stand what happen. Let her know you are there for her no matter what.

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My mother actually did that to my youngest brother she went to school and sat in his class
He still talkes about that and just how stupid that made him feel
She was good at doing that

I agree with the one comment above saying that there needs to be a firm punishment.
I skipped school and without going into my personal business, I really screwed everything up.
I do believe if I had firm punishment, I think I would’ve been a lot better off. I was in counseling as well and for me, it didn’t work though I do acknowledge that it may work for others. I hope you are able to get the help your daughter needs. :heart: