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QUESTION:
"A couple months ago my husband left (due to not being ready for this much responsibility but that's a different issue) we have a now 7 month old son together. (We're both 19) When he left I was really upset and happened to run into a family friend at the store (you know the ones that are like a bonus uncle when you're a little girl close friend of my parents) well later on this man messaged me (he's married with kids and he's around my parents age they went to School together) and asked me if I would like to go to the casino with him to take my mind off of it and I had never been. I said yes thinking it would take my mind off of things. Thinking that He used to take me to the park why would this be different. Well flash forward We're there and he starts buying me drinks. I ended up drinking to much and the night got spotty. The last thing I remember I was in his car and he was kissing me and doing some other things. The next thing I remember I woke up in my bed at home the next day. I don't know how far it went, I don't know how I got home, and he hasn't texted me or brought it up at all. I don't know what happened. I feel embarrassed and worried about what happend. Sober me would never have kissed a married man or a man this much older than Me. I feel guilty and discusting. I don't know how to feel or what to do. I worked things out with my husband and We're back together but that night is still heavy on my mind latley. I can't beleive I let that happen. I feel like a homewrecker like the worst type of person, but I also feel taken advantage of."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"This older man took advantage of you. My daughter’s 19 and if one of mine or my husband’s friends did this I’d be livid. I think you should tell your parents what happened. Dont feel guilty, you didn’t do anything wrong."
"You are not a home wrecker. Home wreckers are a myth that was designed to blame the other party when in reality its the married party who wrecked the home by intentionally stepping outside the marriage boundaries."
"Honestly I would track his wife down and write her a letter or message. Explain everything (honestly) that happened and how he played the part of family to deceive you and you wanted nothing to do with it. That would clear your conscience at least. Even though you did nothing wrong. The man essentially groomed you. Make sure to block his number and any other way he could contact you right before you send it. And let your parents know you don’t want to be around him (if they’re still friends). Be ready cause she’s either going to respond in a thankful tone or harshly. But know that she will be hurting. She may choose to ignore it. And that’s on her. But at least your mind can be free from that. But please know, you did nothing wrong. If you feel he took advantage, then he took advantage of you. That is his fault, not yours. He set his stage up and got you enough drinks to play along. He’s a sick man. Good luck to you & all the best. Try not to beat yourself up about this. Be open & honest and you will get through this."
"You were preyed on by a nasty adult. Youre 19 and he’s your parents age? He took advantage of you, sounds like he drugged you too. Sorry you’re dealing with this now but def stay away from him."
"You’re still very young at 19. He took advantage of you. If you don’t want to pursue anything, you should probably see a therapist to work through it so you don’t continue letting it eat away at you. We all make mistakes"
"This was assult, at best. What happened was not your fault. He sounds like a predator who was waiting to take advantage of you. I am so sorry this happened to you. If you can meet with a therapist I hoghly recommend doing so."
"That guy knew exactly what he was doing. Don’t be fooled. Sorry this happened to you."
"Um this isn’t normal you need to inform your parents"
"You sound super naive, which makes sense considering you’re 19, and he sounds like a creep. At the end of the day if you had so much to drink that you blacked out (which happens, without someone having to drug you) and he started fooling around with you, he took advantage of you. You weren’t able to give consent to anything. Your feelings are normal, I would look into getting a therapist and I would never talk to that man again."
"That man took advantage of you and you were assaulted. Do not feel ashamed or like you’ve done something wrong. HE is the one who was wrong."
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