I need advice please my 16 year old daugter recently found out that the man i was married to is not her biological father. We busy getting divorced, she met her biological father in June and he bought her a phone, since she got the phone her behavior changed, she is chatting to guys a lot older then her, sending pictures to guys, telling them that she is very sick and have anorexia which she dont have, now over the past 2 weeks school send her to talk to someone, because the thought she is having panick attacks, this person she went to talk to then informed me that she want to commit suicide i am at witsend, she dont stay with me, i took the phone away on friday and discovered all this pictures and conversations and all the lies she was telling to this guys. Have annyone experience this with their child on that age. She refuses to talk to me and hates me for lying to her for the 16 years, I did it to protect her from her real fathers family.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I lied to my daughter to protect her and now she hates me
I was your 16 year old daughter 10 years ago. Different reasons but same erratic behaviour. What really helped me was 2 things… 1 I had cognitive behavioural therapy which really made me realise what I was doing and 2 my parents didn’t stop supporting me even though at times I was the child from hell! I ended up with depression and anxiety which was treated through CBT. Your daughter needs to learn why she has the feelings she does and how she can learn to control and recognise the signs of this behaviour, things I was taught in therapy, things I still use to this day to cope when I get overwhelmed.
Please, sit down with your daughter and talk with her. Take her out shopping or for a nice walk, take some picnic bits, take some time for just you and her away from any distractions, and really have a heart to heart. You need to explain the reasons why you felt you needed to protect her from her paternal family, and she needs to feel safe enough to open up to you to explain her erratic behavior and why she is seeking attention from strangers. She’s not going to be a silly girl at 16, but you need to reinstate the importance of online safety and explain that what she’s doing could put her in serious danger. Don’t get angry, no matter if she blames you or screams at you, you really need to be level headed and just let her vent. Good luck!
I was in a similar position, she’ll come around in time xx
She needs to speak with someone, the trauma of finding out she has been lied to and losing her dad, but gaining another can be very difficult for anyone never mind a teenager. She sounds like she just wants attention to be on her.
Get her some support to understand these actions/consequences even when you are hurting.