I know this is tearing your heart out right now. (Been there, was married over 20 years) Just know that you WILL come through the other side of all this and You Will be So Happy. You don’t realize this now but you’re only living a half life with this man and once he’s out of your space you will go on to so much fulfillment and joy! Now down to the (very important) business. Start protecting yourself financially. Start your own personal account and start moving some funds and saving. Go see a lawyer and file for legal separation. This will protect you from any lines of credit he might open that you would be responsible for as well. Legal separation will make him responsible for financially supporting you and the kids until there’s a divorce settlement. Be prepared for him to throw a giant fit or love bomb you. He will try his best to manipulate you because he will want to continue being “married” while seeing others. The universe has a way of pushing you out of your comfort zone and stagnant energy. Know that while the unknowns are scary, be brave you are on your way to where you’re meant to grow♥️
So get a job, start saving up and bounce. What are you going to do when he leaves you?
You can’t depend on any man.
Take picture’s of his searches talk to a free laser start looking for a job and a affordable place to move
Alimony & health insurance for your children. You are literally being abused.
Shit start with doing you and getting a job. Alot of places have hired with good pay, with no college degree…Dont stay stuck when you really dont have to be!!! Thats not a happy life at all
I would screenshot proof. Then confront him. Offer counseling. If he refuses, then find employment where you can work from home. Save up your money and LEAVE.
YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO STAY IN A MARRIAGE WHERE YOU ARE NOT RESPECTED.
You deserve so much better and so do your children. 
You should clean out your bank account. Change the locks and pack his bags. When he confronts you say, “now that I have your attention, here is what I know” then Explain that he’s going to move out that any protest from him will be met with a police escort.
Tell him that you’re going to give him a few days to process his new life path before you petition the courts but that he will definitely be grieving under a different roof. If he protests with any kind if violence even a raised voice, call the police and have him removed.
#1 you are entitled to half of everything
#2 you are entitled to maintenance
#3 you are entitled to support considering the disability status of your grown child.
#4 you will be granted the marital home until its sold and the equity divided.
#5 live the rest if your life in peace
Never let anyone make you feel less than. He deserves all of what I mentioned I hope you have the courage to follow through.
Nothing!! Suck it up and keep your blinders on. You’ve been Ok so far 
If more women would be less concerned with what their man is doing outside of their presence…and more concerned with what THEY’RE not doing while in their presence…there would be less of this. If I ever got in another relationship (which is highly unlikely) I would not go looking for things I did not want to find. As long as he’s doing what hes supposed to at home…idgaf what hes doing when hes not. just my opinion. relationships arent worth the twenty something fkn years you put into them…then to just walk tf away… that shit is dumb. pick ur battles…we as humans werent even meant to be monogomous…and very rarely are we… food for thought.!!
I’m thinking it’s just a matter of time before he leaves and you’re ultimately without his support, so I would start planning on having to support yourself and the kids. I would definitely confront him, but see what he does. Divorce is messy and ugly so, I would focus on getting a career and set up to support yourself and take care of the children without him - then divorce if that’s what you decide. I’m sorry you are going through this.