Use some of his money and get yourself a good lawer
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How can you say youāve nothing. Did you speak to a professional? If no then you have more than you can think right now, get yourself a lawyer and take his sorry ass to court, you could meet a millionaire while with a cheap ass like him, take proof and get going and get happy it will take a long long time but you will be so happy ā¦ Best of luck Iād love to hear an update in a yr or 2 to say youāve left him and youāre so happy 
If youāre married , doesnāt getting a divorce mean you get half of everything ? 
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You need to contact a lawyer ā¦ he supported you all this time he will have to continue to. He will have to pay to support all of you. Make sure you have proof of his Behaviour for court. There is always away out. The right lawyer will be all over this.
You get the house you have kids you can get alimoney child surport plus ssi for kids and you can work and still get alimoney from i was where you were but only 17 years if i can you can .it will be harder on the kids if you stay. A clean breaks work better for you and your kids
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First thing I would do would be to get a job and start to build up and emergency fund, secondly I would see a solicitor on my own and find out what I am entitled to eg house, pension etc., I would also suggest a marriage guidance counsellor, to try and save the marriage. If not you need to know the law is on your side. If he left, you would be ok financially and could get help with the kids Iād theyāre disabled. Also, speak to a womenās charity they will tell you your rights. Itās not the 1920ās
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Get a job, GET INDEPENDENTā¦ Confront him. He will regret it.
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All 3 kids are disabled?
Has he physically cheated or just looking up sites ?
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Firstly Iām so very sorry this is happening to you I an going through the same thing except he just up and left. It is extremely tough and you need atleast one person in your corner you can rely on. There is no way Iād be where I am right now if it wasnāt for my family and close friends. I also have a child with special needs. If you need someone to talk to youāre welcome to message me. If you get in touch with centrelink and ask for a social worker they can help you get on your feet. You can and will do this yes itās hard but you deserve so much better!
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Its not that you canāt leave
you donāt wanna leave and it doesnāt matter what advice people give you on here your guna stay, why? Cos your coming up with every excuse to why you canāt leave starting with your kids. so im guna say no more cos me giving you advice along with everyone elseās on here isnāt guna change your mindā¦
waste of time
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Get a job and get out.
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Your first problem is that you already think youāre stuck in that life. And until you change that mindset, you will be.
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Iām going through a very similar thing. I wonāt go into on here, happy for you to msg me if you like. We are doing marriage counselling and itās going really well. He will also see a sex therapist soon.
The person has to want to change within themselves and be able to see their wrongs. Counselling is helping to find the deeper meaning behind the reasons why and putting strategies in place to prevent it reoccurring. I believe if the person just does counselling because the other person wants them too it will not last, the person has to want to change. Things are ofcourse tough, and trust will take a long time to build.
Every personās situation /relationaship is differnt, but Iām glad we are giving it one last shotā¦ Things are going really well between us. Goodluck in your decison. Sending hugs x
Leave his sick, lying ass first of all!! He doesnāt deserve you! What a POS to lie to your face like that. Money or not, I could never stay with someone like that, you really donāt even know him. Be strong, pull yourself up and get him for alimony, file for divorce with him paying for all expenses, and you get half of everything you share together. There are people out there to help. You can make it on your own, and be so much happier. Remember thisā¦ Itās better to be alone than to wish you wereā¦ Good luck to youā¦
Make sure you have a bank account in your name. Does not matter what the balance is. Sorry that you are going through this. As above talk to a social worker at Centrelink to see what you might be entitled to
Try to find help from your local organizations with childcare for your disabled children. Then maybe you could find work and start saving money. Then when you have enough, you leave. Make sure to have evidence of his activities.
I am so sorry that you are in that position. Do you deserve being treated like this?? (In case you have to think about thisā¦) Answer is NO!! You are not stuck in a life. You have a choice to do something about it!! If you choose so, there are resources out their to assist you, but NO ONE can make the decision for you on how to proceed. No matter what you decide the only person that has to be happy with it is YOU!! Neither decision will be easy, so definitely think of pros and cons of both. Good Luck!!
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You know, Iāve been there. Someone made the point of calling this out on you choosing to stay. I have to agree. You are in a vulnerable position. But, until your mind is ready to leave, you wonāt find a solution to help you leave. Truth. If you get all the evidence of cheating together, you shouldnāt have a problem getting both child support and spousal support. Since you are the main caregiver they will most likely grant you these. My suggestion is you speak with a good attorney before you do anything. Generally they will guide you in what you should do with a free consultation. Also, itās possible that attorney fees will be paid by your soon to be ex. Seek your options, this is not the end, just a chapter in your life that may be closing. 
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Confront him. Copy his info. Print copies. Go to his favorite hook up site and JOIN IT !!! donāt just let it slide.
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screen shot ALL of the evidence. use it against him to get alimony for the divorce. file for child support. There is ALWAYS a way out
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Iād personally confront him, why keep all your hurt inā¦ I understand you donāt want to leave the security but there is help out there to connect to the right services maybe itās time for you to put yourself first and find yourself a job just for your self esteem even if itās a couple of hours a day. Iām sure there are respite services for the kids you might be able to access. Good luck amd Iām sorry this happened
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Your not stuck ā¦ donāt tell yourself that ! U can do it soo many avenues and things that could help u financially and emotionally than staying with this person
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Heās supposed to pay you child support n alimony. Start saving, you canāt wasted no more time
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Make him more soup. Soup is good
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I would stop talking to him and definitely not doing anything else with him.
Uh take ur proof of cheating to court take everything you huys have from him get ur kids in ur full care child suport him take the house the kids the cars and leave him to his hook ups and court orders to provide since yk being caught the cheater really helps u lose it alll ans still pay for it somehow.
Does your child tax credit not go up without his income attached to you? I just recently separated and I now get the max childtax available and also get my gst again. And also take him for whatever you can and make him pay.
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You need to get all the evidence you can . I know it will be hard for you and the kids .But you can make it without him you may have to relie on your family and friends for a while but you can make it without him.
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Hopefully heād have to give you spousal support plus child support Iād find a way out
show him what it feels like
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You need to talk to him, just because he looked up these sites does not mean he cheated - yes i understand you are hurt and who wouldnāt be, but it doesnāt mean he cheated!!! Talk to him and see if you guys can save your marriage, the most important thing in a marriage is love and communicationā¦ but at least you are giving him a chance of pleading his case. look for marriage counseling and try to work things out, but in case one of the two doesnāt want to work things out, than find a lawyer and battle your rights as a mom with your kids.
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I mean this in THE nicest way possible but are you satisfying him at home in the bedroom? Or because youāve been together for 20 years is that nonexistent? You need to make sure your hubby is pleased. Men have needs that need to be met. If he is still getting it from you, then there is NO excuse and he is a scumbag. You deserve better. But if sex is lacking between you two, then you also have to step your game up. Iām just being honest. Good luck hun
Are you sure heās actually cheating? Maybe heās feeling emotionally unattached at the moment but not cheating. Confront him and let him know what you know. Youāll drive yourself nuts if you donāt and your thoughts will only get darker
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Kick him out, let him pay for his mistakesā¦ pay the bills
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Start saving up and putting away any little bit of money that you can without him knowing. Then leave him, and divorce him while you still can. He will have to pay you alimony because he makes more income. I know it seems impossible and that you are stuck, but you will never forgive yourself if in 10 years you look back and you wish you left sooner!
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I I would talk to a lawyer
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Im living the same BS its disgusting
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I donāt think he is actively cheating, is probably a way to evade the routine and mundane life tasks. If you confront him and he will insist that he loves you and want to remain with you then forgive him, the real heartless and ruthless cheaters will always leave their partners and their kids and run to their new love interest. Is easy for people to say :" just leave" but you know how much youāve invested in your marriage, leave only when is clear that there is nothing that can be done anymore.
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Ok serious question. How do you look all this up
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Protect yourself. Oh you canāt work, invest in a business. Funnel money to an undisclosed account. If heās doing thatā¦ Thereās no telling what else you donāt know.
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I donāt understand so many women what they are commenting that it isnāt cheating! That is emotionally cheating. What if your partner did that to you! Everyone is different everyone has set different expectations on it. What if it was vice versa, she would be called the wrong person or what other names. What he did wasnāt right, and if thatās something they had agreed on he disrespected her. Itās not okay for his behavior! If he really cared about his marriage he would come to you and discuss the issue instead on going on sites and doing stuff that his wife wouldnāt approve! Itās sad in the world we live in! Women shouldnāt put up with this type of shit
Believe me, if you just caught him he has done this before or has been for quite a while. Make him leave, he will have to pay the bills, you will get alimony and depending on your childrenās ages, child support. If you can physically work, at least in Kentucky, they will base your alimony on what they think you could make and will give you time to get a job. Iāve been through this, end the relationship now as it will only get worse.
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Sites donāt mean cheating. You are assuming!!! dudes beat off and no they donāt do it to someone theyāve had for 20 yrs. woman who think that are 
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Men go through menopause, much like woman. It appears to be a mid life crisis. Spice up yourself and make yourself enticing, if you love your man. 20 years of the same ole, same ole becomes a life of isolation. Get out more-- together!! Its not a lost relationship.
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First - please go to your dr and get tested for all STDās . Then , get yourself a great counselor ASAP . Then , document , make copies of etc. everything you can get your hands on and lock all of this up . Get a PI if you can afford it . Make pictures of everything. If you canāt afford a PI , become one yourself . Have a friend follow him whose car he Would not recognize and get pics . If you have not already , do not tell him what you are doing . You will need a great divorce attorney if you want to divorce. Do not make a hasty decision. Let things rock along until you get all the proof you need . If he makes good $ , he will have to support you and the kids ( I pray ! ) . Dot every I and cross every T ! Do not break or crumble for you will survive ! I did and I am living proof that life Goes on !!! P.S. if you want to save your marriage , it will take couples counseling and i would also recommend individual counseling. Never let go of the proof you have for you may need it now or later . Best of luck !
Girl you need to get all the evidence so you can claim alimony your a stay at home mom with a disabled child you could definitely collect alimony.
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Donāt leave, he will have to pay you half of his income plus provide you a home and car. Try if you want to work through this before making a permanent decision.
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Just looking at these sites is cheating, it is daunting and hard but you will find the strength. And you can ask him to leave cause your still looking after disabled children 
Get proof of his infidelity and hire a lawyer using your joint resources. Have them file for separation. Youāll be able to stay in your home with your children and heāll be ordered to pay alimony and child support while you figure out the long-term solutions for income and child care.
Idk where youāre located, but in my state if youāve been a stay at home parent majority of the relationship, the spouse who worked is required, by law, to pay spousal support until you are able to support yourself/children.
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Ok.
Is he physically cheating?
Yes it does matter. Men chat and look. And it makes them feel aliveā¦ he may looked to see whats out there.
Has he gone and done anything about it all?
Im not trying to make excuses for him at all. Because what hes done to his wife is way out of order. And its killing you. I can see that.
Can you sit and talk?
Can you do a date night every now and than
Maybe he feels hes not wanted or loved and needed to feel valudated.
Now youve discovered its also making you feel unloved and worthless and everything else inbetween. Ive been there. I know how you feel very much.
Try councilling. For a couple and self.
However also cover your own butt. And have a plan too. Check out all your rights. Where you stand with children and disabiled rights etc.
And most of all sending hugs. As you need them. Xxx
Iām so sorry. I know exactly how you feel. I wouldnāt wish it anyone. 
Hope you find what works best for you 
This canāt be real. Who airs their dirty laundry on FB and then expects honest reliable advice. Please
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You can do it donāt have the I canāt mentality. I am a single mom of three and I had no support I left with nothing Iāve worked crazy hard and 2 years ago I bought a house. So pull up your woman here me roar pants youāve got this. Tell him to get the fuck out!.
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Gather all your proof! Pack up your kids n try to find an emergency service to help u get section 8. I would divorce him n have him pay childsupport n alimony, possibly even give u guys the house. He knows u might be stuck. Thatās ammo to play u some more.
People will only encourage an tell u to leave but its not especially when u have kids an no savings an u dont have a place to call Homeā¦
Going back to family is a No No sooner or later u an ur kids will be treated horibbleā¦
Suggest u should get counseling on how to deal with things an talk about it with ur husband ā¦
Talk to a lawyer about the divorce.check into disability SSD for the kids . They will probably eligible for SSD , he will have to give you alimony and the damages he had brought to the table of his marriageā¦he has broken the laws of marriage.
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What I did was punched the arse in the face (yes I felt better) then I let him explain! All men look at other ladys itās different if there is messages (I found messages)
Be separated under the same roof.
Donāt do anything for him. No cooking , washing his clothes etc.
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Child support & alimony
File for legal separation. Request he pay the Bills since youāve the the stay at home mom. Iām pretty sure he would he would have to continue to pay them.
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Fake it to make
It. And do you !
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Best you guys talk about itā¦ Know whatās bordering him, is good to talk youā¦ Is healthy
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Does he have a app called KIK? So is he physically or virtually cheating
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Unless you have proof he is dipping his sausage in someone elseās batterā¦your way overreactingā¦looking and searching is not cheatingā¦idk how some women create a shit storm in their own mind just because their husband beats his meat to someone elseās imageā¦you are only staying with him for financial stability, at least thatās what someone can assume by telling us all you have worked in the home and been a full time caregiver ā¦you need to focus on your husbandās needs, men have visual attractions, women are emotionalā¦this is a time for you to think with your crotch, not your brainā¦seduce your husbandā¦spice it up!
constantly ask for money save it up and while looking for a job or use the money to come up with a business. Now that is if u think he will never change at all. But for now try to spice up. Try to see if u can still seduce him. Fix urselfā¦ You may ask a baby sitter to look after your kids for a while then try to fix your marriage.
Mid life crisis. Talk to your husband. If heās otherwise a good man. 20 years is a long time to be with someone and not try every avenue possible to help fix what is broken. Be straight. Ask him to do the same. If he has cheated. Counseling right away. If he hasnāt and is thinking about it. Counseling, to fix what is broken. It takes 2 to create a life together,it takes 2 to break it down. Itās not your fault heās cheating or is gonna cheat. Let me make that clear. However, communication is the number one cause for divorce. Something somewhere a need isnāt being met. And spouses look for it else where instead of communicating with their partner.
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Says a man that probably cheatsā¦ 
Dude. Why are you here?
Judge. Show all proof of infidelity. Alimony is a thing, he will end up paying child support out the ass in general so go for it. Get rid of him. If heās violent in anyway get a restraining order and keep him out of your shared home 
Go Watch āHow Stella Got Her Groove Backā and then go Cheat back.
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I mean, what do you called cheating? Do you have proof that he been with women locally?
Unfortunately, You not going anywhere because at this point you looking for whatās best for your children. Like you said, you donāt have anything because you depended on him this whole time. Big mistake but Iām not here to judge. Talk to him and keep it real.
Pack his bags. Either work on the marriage while separated or end it. He still has the responsibility to support his family. You donāt deserve to be treated this way.
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Screenshot shot the proof save it in the cloud etc. you leave you get alimony and child support. If you donāt want to leave then Itās your choice
I know this will sound crazy/stupid. But listen.
Reach out to the local biker community. Iām serious. They will know who to talk to for legal, financial, and housing help.
The biker community has been helping women/mothers/children out of bad situations for generations.
Itās not gonna be some big Hollywood roll up and fight response. No. Itāll be an information network, contacts, and action.
If there is no local womenās shelter or reputable establishment, two wheel family will know where to go.
We do this all the time.
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Detach yourself mentally.
Care for yourself, your kids.
Pray for Divine Support.
Build assets.
Rooting for you,Sis ā¦stay strong.
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I know u r in a crisis
Explain him that u know the facts
Still u r ready to forgive him fr ur kids
Ask him to be away from trouble
Be strong
Be patient
Give him time
Ask his brother or sis to counsel him
Either talk to him and help him seek help or tell him to leave he will still have to support u and yāall kids especially if the separation is on him because if infidelity looking at naked women I get it but trying to hook up with random women is another level
Donāt say anything and start using him
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Go to him! Lay it out for him, tell him you know, and you want it to stop. Ask him why he would want to do this? And make him understand that you want to WORK on your marriage instead of things like this happening if he has an issue.
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Get urself a good attorney. U will get alimony and child support. R ur disabled children on disability? If not plez apply them 4 this.
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Get a job and make your way if you want to leave. There are ways. People do it everyday.
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Talk to a lawyer. Find out what you can get and leave the douche bag. U can do this on your own as well. It takes time but u got this. No one deserves to be hurt like this 
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Cash back every grocery trip and throw away the receipt before you get home. Open a bank account he doesnāt know about. After 18 years you could probably get alimony especially if you can prove he was unfaithful, but divorces are long and messy.
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Iām going through the same shit after 33 years
find a job ASAP start putting cash in savings from grocery money ect n start looking for hep
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help with moving housing ect
Divorce. Spousal support . Theyāll nail his ass to the wall.
Start with getting a job.
Unless you ask him he wonāt no if heās cheated he might just be chatting to people which is not cheating the odd flirt is also not cheating might be a little bored and wanted some chatting fun donāt jump to conclusions that he met up with them or slept with them chatting is harmless fun doesnāt do any harm as long as it doesnāt come to meeting up or getting physical then no sorry that band out of order so donāt fly off the lid at him as it might of been harmless fun well that is my advice and yeah I have been there had it done myself but I was wrong it was only talking and flirting on line so I look liked a night numpty which Iāve learned from and I flirt on line when Iām taken but would never take it to any other level
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Kick him out. Alimony & child support and hopefully some sort of disability payment for disabled children. Let. Him. Go. Youāll be fine.
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Talk to him about, try not to get angry. Just say, āHey, I see you are looking to cheatā and suggest an open relationship. Get you some attention too. It happens in relationships hopefully you all can move past it or agree to be co-parents that see other people. Try to find you a little side hustle in case it goes tits up. Best of luck to you and your family.
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so what are you going to do when he up and leaves youā¦
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Please donāt give up on your relationship yet!! Iād suggest that you talk to him. I know it hurts but heās probably not lying to you when he says he loves you. Heās likely just looking for a little excitement and contemplating getting older. Iād ask what your sex life and intimacy is like. Most of all, A counselor can really really help with this!! I promise!! In many many relationships, itās not a lack of love. Youāve invested your life into your family and in my opinion, itās worth looking at your kids and knowing at the end of the day, YOU did everything in your power to be happy and provide a loving home for them. In my book, that means setting aside the opinions of others and trying everything. I wish you luck and grace as you move forward
Contact the people who count! Youāll get nowhere doing it this way. Maybe u want Himto find these messages??
Is this how you want to start the war? Go get Professional help! Make this time count! Holidays are coming soonā¦
Stop waisting your time!
Youāre getting nowhere talking to strangers & girl friends!!
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Get a home based job and start stacking moneyā¦ if your kids are getting disability save it, if no get it! Doordash if possible
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1st you grab a dictionary and look up zero tolerance.
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Kick him out, stay in the house. Apply for a divorceā¦
Seek legal advice, you will get a fair bit of the house and his superannuation.
Stay strong
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Do not I repeat Do Not take the blame.
I understand about your childrenā¦but your human and entitled to happiness. Let him know what you know. See how he reacts. Then decide. You can get help people do it all the time. Be strong dont let him bully you .
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I canāt believe some of the comments here! He definitely is cheating, you have found searches, chats, etc. donāt let some of these people say thatās not cheating and that heās just playing games! WOW, I always wondered why some men (cheaters) pic those they do! Playing games is cards, monopoly, etc.
My option is this, he will continue and then he wonāt come home at night. Maybe you catch something from him, and so onā¦
You will hurt yourself by living with that!
You need to dig deeper and have the cheating confirmed before confronting him.
Once thatās established then leave. You will get enough to take care of you and your family.
This is just how I feel. And what you do should be up to you, GOOD LUCK and many blessings
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