Never stop fighting…that kids is youre reason for getting up every morning…
YOU CAN DO IT
YOU CAN GET THEM BACK
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Fortunately my kids are grown and I didn’t have that issue. I do remember when they were gone for the weekend. I was lost and would cry! You need to take care of yourself. Get a second job or hobby to occupy your time so that when they are with you, you can be fully attentive to them! Good luck!
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Welcome to the life of most fathers. Get used to it. If you lost in court it was more than just you representing yourself.
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Then go for 50/50 one week rotation if your close and don’t have a past the judge is unlikely to deny it
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Go back to court and try to get a modification
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Unfortunately money talks in the court system. It’s a shame!
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Man. Some of these women apparently need to find themselves in the same boat…
I’m so sorry to hear this has happened to you. I think I would absolutely die, so kudos to you on being so very strong. Take care of yourself best you can, and work every day to get back to court and get things 50/50 again. Try and keep a poker face while they’re there, focus on your time together, and let them be gone before you break down (much easier said than done, I’m sure)… have that time to grieve and then jump head first into fighting to get them back the rest of the time. Sending hugs. God bless 
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Welcome to what men go through always!
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I’m not going to assume you’re just a bad parent But I’m also not going to assume that your ex hiring a good lawyer was the only reason he got primary custody. It could have just been he was more stable financially. That doesn’t make you “bad” but that doesn’t make him wrong for petitioning full custody either.
Only you can answer why that happened. No. You don’t need to tell us. You need to admit it to yourself.
Once you’ve identified the real reason…Have you rectified it?
You need to start taking care of your mental health. See a counselor. Work on coping techniques. Take your kids and do something fun on the weekends. Go to the park or som thing. Watching you upset and depressed won’t help them and it won’t help you either.
Once you’ve rectified whatever truly prevented you from primary or 50/50 custody and you’ve began addressing your mental health. Petition the court for 50/50 custody.
Get all your ducks lined up. Any proof you could possibly give to show you are fit for it.
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I’m confused why you would only get weekends. Even when you represent yourself, 50/50 split is always the starting point now, unless there is a reason WHY you can’t 50/50
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At certain age kids have a say where they want to be
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Can you try to talk to him? Or he’s still immature about it?
if ur in texas Lonestar Legal Aid will definitively help u for free. its a group of pro bono attorneys that work these cases
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There’s gotta be a reason for which the judge ruled the way they did. Don’t blame it all on not having an attorney. You’re not being honest with yourself
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Yes mama fight for those babies as hard as you can and they will always know that you have done your best for them in every situation possible as hard as it is now it won’t always be like that Just show them how much you love them on a daily basis and enjoy the time you do have as hard as it may be best wishes to you and I’m praying that things work in your favor God is here for you just lift it to him he always has a plan even if you can’t see it right away
Buddy l fought like a scolded dog 
l begged, borrowed and didn’t have to steal thankfully l pawned, l took out loans, l did research, l reached out to people! Whatever it took if l had to sell my arse! Than let him have total access to my child. I got 50/50 joint l fought hard paid lots of money l didn’t have and going back again cause l changed my work position and now game is on
Dont cry infront of them that isnt fair to the kids.
Its an adult matter. Go back to court. I as all had only weekends for about 6 months then 50/50 now i have full. I was at the court house filling every paper i could i would get court dated and had filled the wrong paper and basically was laughed at but I didnt stop. You can cry or u can do something.
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Plan all week to know how to enjoy them and create happy memories. If you are crying they will not look forward to seeing you because they will be sad and miserable 
. Pray for strength and joy
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If you’d like more time, maybe you can talk to the dad about changing it to where you can get school holiday breaks and one week at a time during the summer?
I don’t know if you’re strictly just a weekend parent or if the schedule changes during the summer but you can give that a shot
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A good lawyer is nice, but I can’t help but think what was presented in court to cause the judge to make that decision?
If the dad can provide more financially, I get that too, but I’ve seen cases where it was the opposite… dad didn’t have much to offer, but he was the better parent in the courts eyes… not bashing… just another POV
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Yes. All you have to do is a modification.
Go to court and get custody modified. I don’t get why you haven’t thought about doing that already? Crying never helped anyone…if you want something you got to go out and do something about it. Things don’t just happen bc you want it to unfortunately. Also you should enjoy the time YOU DO HAVE with you kids and create HAPPY AND FUN memories…I’m sure they would perfer not to see you cry. 
You got to fight to make things happen.
Goodluck to you!
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Talk to him. It’s been long enough. No good dad would keep them from you. Also ask if you can pick them up here and there on weekdays after work?
Not in the same situation but this is so sad!
I feel for you, I really do. This happens to so many parents (more so men than women) and it’s heartbreaking. I don’t think any parent should have any less than 50/50 (where possible and of course unless the children are in danger) if that is wanted. Children should have equal time with both parents.
Don’t let it effect your time with your children. You need to make the most of your time with them. They shouldn’t see you upset
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Dads go through this all the time everyday!! It’s been 7 years and you haven’t done anything about it yet? Find a hobby.
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If you’re I’m a better situation and can afford a lawyer, you can absolutely take it back to court!
Get an attorney and try for modifications.
Meanwhile, stop crying when you’re with your kids … try to enjoy each and every moment with them. Live in those moments. Let them see a happy you. Love on them as much as you can. If they see you crying, or unhappy, sad, depressed, etc., They might think you’re acting that way because they are WITH you … not because of the fact that you’re dreading taking them back to their dad. Kids go through a lot when their parents get divorced, and one of their concerns is that THEY were the reason mom & dad split up.
Believe me, the kids don’t like it anymore than you do … and they don’t like having 2 households to divide their time.
Unfortunately, the kids can’t live in both households at the same time. One is going to be primary, and the other secondary. It’s the emotional cost … for everyone … when parents get divorced. The best you can do as parents is try to be supportive of your kids, and as involved in their lives as you can be.
Now that the kids are older, maybe it’s time to see an attorney and revisit the terms of your custody agreement.
Make every weekend fun disconnect from all devices and be present so they remember you as a present parent and when they are older they won’t see you at fault,
Get a lawyer and fight with everything in you to get them back
That’s horrible , sorry that happened, I’d get the back
That’s very odd! Courts will always try and keep the kids with their mom unless something else is going on. I wouldn’t have waited 7yrs! Go back and modify it. Get shares custody and split the time.
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How sad for you, but it’s more sad for the kids that you don’t make the most of your time with them. Cry all you need to when they are gone, then make their time with you wonderful, full of love
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7 years - how old are they? You can go back to court or court mediator regarding custody- in some states they will ask the child what they want. Even if it’s only a few more days a month - it’s still progress- you might even consider talking with the father-
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Many fathers go through that same thing, I did and I didn’t like it one bit.
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Go back and ask for modifications and why not joint custody? That way no primary
1st off quit crying when you do have your kids. That makes them miserable so when the time comes that you can revisit the custody issues your kids will NOT want it to change because all they know is you are miserable & crying while they visit you. They will not want more time with you, if anything, they may insist on not spending any time with you because you make them feel miserable when they are with you. 2nd money can’t buy happiness. Your kids will eventually be able to have a say so in seeing you more or less. Spend what time you do get them having fun. And don’t ever belittle their Dad in front of them(or any time). You will continue to be miserable & so will your kids when they are with you. No child wants or deserves misery. Wake up & do better for yourself & quit making your kids miserable. What’s the reasoning of you only getting them on weekends?
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You can’t do that. You can’t just sit there an cry. Esp not when you have them. You need to go to therapy and heal so you can be the happiest, healthiest version of yourself so that when you do have them you can create super happy memories with them.
Now think about it long and hard. Are they safe? Happy? Well cared for? Would it really be in THEIR best interest to change things after all this time? Or is it just that you so desperately want it? Only you know the answer to that but I’d definitely suggest reflecting on it. Sometimes you have to put their well being above your desires, no matter how strong they are.
Another thing is, I honestly would think that being with the parent who cries all the time more would not be in their best interest. If my ex were behaving that way, I’d consider it emotional abuse and I’d be taking him to court to have his time lessened even more. It’s not fair to the kids for them to have to see a parent be a basket case over them. It will destroy them slowly. I know that’s hard to hear and I’m sorry, but I also know that sometimes hearing the hard thing is the catalyst for making the big, hard changes. I wish you the best and hope your path becomes easier soon.
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Be the fun parent! If you only get weekends than you get to be the “Disney dad” but a mom. You get to be all the fun and non of the responsibilities.
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File a motion motion for mediation. Request more time. If he doesn’t agree see the judge.
They have really been pushing for 50/50 now. I would go back to court and request that. It shouldn’t ever be mom vs. dad. It’s in the best interest of the children to have equal time with BOTH parents. my heart hurts for you. Good luck.
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Okay first off let me address the judge judge stop she asked for advice I first had know how hard it is to battle a baby daddy with strong ties to the town and wealthy at that and the battle is hard and well if you ain’t got money they don’t care bust most definitely momma try and stay strong when you have them don’t give up don’t let them see your pain stay present and yes go back to court no matter the cost and at least fight for a modification of 50 50 custody joint and physical custody agreement no child support that should please both the father and the judge because the kids get both equal time with yall
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This very same thing happened to me. Please feel free to inbox me if you want to chat. I’ve been dealing with this for 10 years
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Try not to cry infront if the children or it may be detrimental for them. I know way easier said than done
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Going through it now
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And have been the last 5 yrs. My world is always destroyed
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Why does everyone find it Hard to believe that a woman lost custody of her children and immediately assume it’s because of money?? No one ever thinks women are or were unfit at some point enough to have a judge place the children in the fathers care. He is just as capable. What’s the problem? Why is it horrible?? Go for 50/50 but you have the same responsibility to house these children independently. I wish you well.
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Do what you have to do to hire an attorney and file a motion. Get your babies back 
Been there !!! cry girl and no more wasting time turn those tears to strength go fight be your voice trust me he has/had money with connections… Im far from having money im tatted he indeed win for a few months I cried didn’t know what to do where to start lost everything your probably feeling dont you ever stop fighting dont let them make you feel weak this guy has been trying for 16 years I used that fear and crying everything into strength it wasnt easy but id be dammed if he saw me at me lowest I told him and the judge you guys cant make give up im ready I swear I told them that and the judge u cant believe everything you hear that you opinion and I would not allow you guys to make me feel that I’m a bad parent when I know I’m not shit you not they try to throw me in jail for contempt every stupid little thing they could and I told him I’ll come back and I’ll still fight I excused it judges in our County because of his connections I went a couple times with the lawyer but they need to hear me my voice fight girl
My sister has she would get her boys for the weekend
My father gained custody of my brother, sister & me when I was just 3 years old. My mother resented my father for it so she never came around, never called, nothing until summers at her house. She talked a lot of shit about my father & it made me dislike her. It ruined our time together. I am now 26 years old & have zero relationship with her. My father is my best friend & has never once let me down.
Just know your kids see things for what they are. If you’re crying all the time while you’re together, they won’t want to see you. Have fun with them, make memories, bake, go outside, ENJOY EACH OTHER.
Custody battles aren’t about who has this/that. Your kids will remember how you made them feel when you were together.
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You need to focus on getting a life for yourself, please, being a parent is a very big part but it’s not the whole of life.
You haven’t said anything about the kids & whether they would benefit from having more time with you? Do they cry to stay?
Present evidence for why the current custody situation should change or else just enjoy your weekends with them.
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If this is the case and you feel so terrible why wouldn’t you ask for something that makes everyone happy I myself am the weekend parent and it sucks but it’s what I have to deal with until my child can make her own mind where she wants to live
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Take your kids change your name and move out the country
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The mother should have more rights she gave birth to them… But money gets any one more rights, which I think is bull…
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Take him back to court? After it happened the main focus would have been to get yourself to a place where you could be the primary parent again. It’s been seven years. I’m sure a lot has changed and I hope that you would be at a place where you are capable of having them full time. 7 years is a long time. Go back to court and fight for more time with them.
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Hi… I’m the product of this type of arrangement and now I get to spend every single Monday-Friday 8-5 working from my moms with my two children there. It’s a gift of time we never knew we would get. I know this has to hurt because I know how much it hurt my momma too.
Gee, about every other dad that gets burned by the court
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Actually, on second thought, I don’t believe petitioning their return would be a good idea or be something you’d be successful in!
ITS BEEN 7 LONG YEARS!
These things are about the best interest of the children, not mending a parents heart…their life is with their dad! Their memories (mostly) are with their dad! Their thriving with their dad!
I can’t see a judge uprooting their lives just because you’ve decided AFTER 7 YEARS MIND YOU…that you want them back now… im sorry but I honestly doubt you would be successful and I gotta say I quite agree that’s the best thing for these children. They’ve been through enough
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It’s so scary court custody battles cuz a judge can just give whoever custody. And then their lies from both parties so it’s like who more believable.
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If your problem is income still, there may be a legal aid program near you that will help you with a lawyer to work out a more fair custody situation. Also, depending on the age of your children, the courts may take their preference into consideration, as well, if they’d like to spend more time at your house. Where I live, the kid gets to register a preference in a custody situation when they are 14. They won’t always get it depending on the other factors involved in a custody case, but it usually is the biggest factor unless there’s abuse or something.
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Make memories with them do stuff with them. This is what most father’s go through all the time
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This happened to me, currently going through it, I spent 4 years at home raising them only to get them taken from me because I needed him to watch them so I could find us a home 
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I don’t understand either. I was a spinster school teaching who married in my early thirties and started a family with I guy I liked. I liked that we were together because we made each other strong. Our guys don’t get that a strong family could include 2. I wonder if guys don’t want to pay child support
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I left an abusive situation and gave primary custody to the father, because I left with what I could fit in my car and had to share a house for a while and no where for my kids to stay with me. I did what was best for my kids and left them in their house they’ve known since birth, their school, their friends, ect. I didn’t want to disrupt their lives just because I chose the wrong man to have kids with. I got settled, got an SUV a 3 bedroom house and back on my feet, took him back to court, the courts were unwilling to change the order citing no proof of change in circumstance, I represented myself. I took him back 3 times and finally got awarded sole custody… representing myself each time. It can be done, you just have to keep fighting. My ex is a horrible person and had girls moving in and out, let my kids do whatever they wanted, was extremely nasty to me, and was doing drugs… all that was proven by me in court. Had it not been for me constantly fighting for the safety and well being of my children, they would still be in a bad situation. If your ex is a good man and doing right by your children, I don’t see any chance of things changing for you. If he isn’t doing right by them then keep fighting. I spent years crying too. I am finally able to breathe a sigh of relief and know that the truth will and always does prevail!!!
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I’m not trying to sound harsh but it Sounds as if u may need to work through your mental health before u attempt anything! Y do you cry often during time u have them? That can’t be a healthy environment for the kid’s if they come to see you and you just sink into depression. And a judge will look at it that way also. No offense but it Sounds as if they are where they need to be until you work through what you need to. Don’t be ashamed to seek help. It can help you work to become a better mom during the time you do have with your children then go from there. Have you ever asked your kids what THEY want? A judge will. Depending on ages. Kids are not property to be owned by a person. They are human beings that will grow into adults and live on there own some day.
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This is sad. I’m sorry you are going they this. My husband feels the same way about his every other weekend. Apparently our court system thinks that is enough time for a loving and involved parent. It should not be this way and I hope you can get this reevaluated and get more time with your babies.
You need to accept the situation and make the most of it. Spending a lot of time crying while the kids are with you is not a healthy situation, for you and your kids. They will certainly notice that, and they’ll eventually stop coming over because they won’t want to deal with it. You can still have a special bond being the weekend parent.
On another note, I suggest you work on yourself to improve your life as an individual so that you can be a happier person.
I know it’s all easier said that done, but that’s the gist of it.
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Yep, daughters are now 32 & 31 son 24, praying 
for strength & love to see you through the hardest years of my life, they have spent by choice life with my family (siblings etc.) since they turned 18 we have always been incredibly & intensely bonded nothing can take that away from you 
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I did!! It’s like your heart is ripped out of your chest!! Momma to this day it still does😢 so I don’t want you to go through the same crap I went through ok u need to shake it off chin up and make it the best time u possibly can when u have them❤️ they will remember that and that is exactly what they need in them tiny little hearts they have feelings too that we need to think about. If you want to chat my messenger is always open Hugs
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Yes. I am. And have been since last March. It has broken me beyond words. The only advice I can find is “hire an attorney”. But see I have found more comfort, faith and hope in Jesus since this all began. All I can do is pray for you!!
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Shit sucks when the guys a dick. Now you know the position every guy is in. Be a dick and play it out like a women. Then overwhelmed with money in court bc a man just makes more. I think it’s fucked up being called a weekend parent. I don’t believe parent rights should go over 51 percent. But I do believe sombody should have the end say. The main problem is parents don’t stay together. Don’t wanna work shit out. Don’t wanna admit wrong. Then want to knick pick on everything they can to grab control of anything they can. Guys can get their kids if they want. They just got to be a bitch about it
Why would you want to uproot them after 7 yrs? $ isn’t everything. I had an amazing lawyer through legal aid so there are other reasons you lost primary custody.
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I went through this for a year he had primary custody and I was the weekend parent. It would still be that way but he went to prison and I ended up with primary custody. Now that he is out I’m worried we will go back to court and he will win again. I cried all the time that he was gone and I still cry when Friday comes and he goes to his dad’s. But mostly because I’m worried about his well being. His family has money and also his mother seems to know everyone at the court house.
Take it back to court and this time seek help wirh local agencies that help obtaining a lawyer at little tonno cost
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Stop feeling sorry for yourself and make the time you have with them give them good memories!
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I lost primary custody of my kids and I miss them: Advice?
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Can you go for a modification of custody??? Maybe 50:50 if that’s what the kids also are comfortable with. And Idk if you are crying in front of your kids but I wouldn’t do that as that can cause emotional trauma for them. Also I suggest counseling for your self.
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Going through it now, I feel numb inside. I don’t feel like a mother anymore, I’ve been replaced. Go from having them everyday to 1 hour every 2 weeks. I never done anything wrong or never gotten them taken away. We share joint custody but he keeps them from me. No phone calls,no visits, no access to school records and grades, no access to dr visits and how their health is. Money will get anybody whatever they want now a days. And not financially stable to do it.
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My best friend went through similar and she kept fighting. She fought for like 2-3 years after loosing primary and she eventually got 50/50. After she lost primary she never stopped though… I’m not sure what the judge will do after 7 years but it doesn’t hurt to try, especially if the children are a bit older, what they want is considered too. Don’t ever stop fighting for your babies though! The judge will see your effort regardless of what ever money is being thrown at the situation on the other end. Hugs and prayers to you and your babies
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Story doesn’t say what state you are in or how old the kids are. In my state at 13 they can choose where to live or not to do the visitation. BUT… I agree with the others, please try to stop crying and being so sad in front of them. It’s a pressure they don’t need. In fact it may work against you, if you are always sad and crying they may not want to spend more time with you. Instead be the fun weekend Mom, enjoy your time with them and in turn they may want to spend more time with you. Someone mentioned seeking counseling, you are grieving so yes counseling would be a great start. Good Luck!
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I have an understanding, I had to represent myself in my divorce/custody, against my ex, his money, & private attorney…It can be done and I won on my terms…please understand if your children see you constantly crying that is not helping your chances of ever changing the situation. You need to find a positive way to channel what your feeling with or without medical intervention, for yourself and your children. Its not health for them to see you a limited amount of time and of that time you are consistently wearing your broken heart on your sleeve. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do in getting me right, but nothing will improve until you do. I wish you the best of luck, you and your children are worth it❤
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So try for a new custody arrangement. If you’ve taken care of what needs to be done then the courts will love that and usually prefer 50/50.
girl I feel you I don’t even have custody of my baby for some bullshit I didn’t do and since I don’t have family his dad got him
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I’ll pray for guidance and strength in Jesus name
1st stop crying n front of them they dont need 2 carry ur pain. Prayers babe. Put n for a modified paperwork like go n an ask for 50 50
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Unfortunately if the living situation is what they’re use to and they are happy, you shouldn’t disrupt their lives because you’re sad. Eventually they can make a choice on their own to be with you or dad. But if they are still little I wouldn’t want to dismantle their whole lives because you miss them. You still see them. Ask for more time? Maybe mend the relationship between you and their father so you can co parent together. It’s not just about how you feel.
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Start fighting for yourself turn that pain into power, the library carries so many books on family law and custody do your research file your movement and go to court prepared. Go get your kids for more time I’m not going to tell you your going to walk out with sole custody or primary of your kids but if you put your heart into it you will see change. I’ve seen alot of ppl win child custody cases of of being dedicated
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There are many lawyers who will charge you a set price and then have you do monthly payments making it super reasonable. I would try and find a lawyer who will do something similar, and then put in a modification to the courts to get more time and this time you will have someone to represent you. I can’t imagine how hard it must be, but you need to do your best not to cry in front of the kids and put your emotional pain on them. Also it’s not going to look good in courts if they’re telling their dad that mommy cries all the time in front of them so when you’re able to cry remember you have to be strong for them! And definitely get into some therapy, it is so helpful! Good luck, stay strong, and keep fighting! 
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even a thin pancake has 2 sides
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I’m in a similar situation. I have 5 daughters. My 3rd is with her father in a different state because we got 50/50 in our divorce. I remarried and had to relocate out of state and my attorney said it wasn’t a good idea to try to get things modified to take her with us because the judge would likely say no and if get hit with his attorneys fees. She has always been a daddy’s girl though and I do accept the fact that she prefers to be with him fulltime. I get her twice per year according to what we agreed to and filled with the courts before I moved. I do get sad at times, especially because I feel like my family is not complete when we do things like trips, vacations, pictures ect. when she’s not with us. My only advice would be to keep as much contact and build relationships with them as much as possible. One day they will be old enough to voice their wants when it comes to custody and visits. I HATE the family law system. It’s all about who has the most money and the best attorney. Even when it’s not the best interest of the child. I don’t know how these attorneys and judges sleep at night.
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Happens everyday…nothing new under the Sun
They don’t just talk custody away from people. Having a lawyer helps but the Courts have to treat Pro Se parties the same as if an attorney. Actually, in my experience they are more lenient. Many attorney’s do unbundled work. Get a consult they draft the documents for a smaller fee and you represent yourself. That might work for you
Check with your county and see if there’s any kind of a public defender or an agency that will reach out to help you
Yes. Millions of fathers
I went through this its hard but you just never give up fighting 
How old are they? Things will get better. You have to stop crying. At least you get to see them
Make the most of the days you have them ….enjoy the time and they will see the joy ….have fun and be silly …go to the beach etc ….it the quality spent and not the time ……at least you have the weekend …the fun time !
7 years later? Maybe ask to modify.
Stay strong. Please don’t cry. It’s better to have some time than no time. Just cherish your time with them.
Please dont ever stop fighting for them i promise you they know