I love my husband more than anything. 16yrs, beautiful children, hes amazing, treats me like a queen, hes handsome too. Buuutttt, I am just not sexually attracted to him as of lately, and I have no idea why. I just get grossed out at the thought. And I hate it. Has anyone else gone through this? Can it go away? Please tell me I’m not alone.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I love my husband but am not attracted to him anymore
Are you on birth control? That can affect your libido
Might be hormonal… talk to your Dr
Do yall go on dates?
I have, I have to force myself to do it, I’d rather him not touch me at all but it’s bcuz my sex drive is null.
Maybe talk to your ob or regular dr they can help
Have you gotten your hormones checked? Sounds silly but it’s a legit thing.
Yes and yes. There was an entire year I felt this way. It was so bad. It can definitely get better.
Hormones! Add in a little testosterone and you won’t be able to keep your hands off of him. #personalexperience
Honestly I think most people in a long term relationship deal with this at one time or another, so I think it’s very normal! First, make sure there isn’t anything bothering you that you don’t realize about how he treats you, the household workload split, etc. it sounds like he’s a great guy so hopefully not. Then check with a doctor to see if it may be a side effect of a medication or a hormone imbalance. If alls good there I would speak with a counselor about how to get past it. I really think if you work through it it will get better!
Go get blood tests. Could be a hormonal thing.
Sounds like a hormonal imbalance. Definitely treatable
Talk with your doctor and a therapist to see if there’s an underlying cause.
Get your hormones checked. It could be perimenopause.
I haven’t experienced this.
My recommendation is
talk to your Dr. If your on any medication, and ask about getting your hormones checked.
talk to a sex therapist if they can’t find anything wrong physically. Yes, its an actually perfusion.
Or do both.
It’s the hormones caused by birth control,your diet or menopause check with your doctor ask advice on adding testosterone booster
Just remember the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Maybe have your hormone levels checked? Your libido could be low due to any number of hormone imbalances. Unfortunately, many general practice doctors will not check regular hormonal levels, especially hormones like pregnegolone the precursor hormone needed to kickstart all others. See an internist or naturopath.
Take maca root hhaha
Get your hormones checked.
Sounds like you’re in the beginning of menopause. Speak to your Dr, have your hormone levels checked. Sounds crazy, but this is a very common complaint during menopause
I relate to this 100%. I’m 24 , we’ve been married two years now , and the same things happening. Not sure why
I don’t think people are getting the point here, if the thought of her having sex with her husband is repulsing her then how can it be hormornal? Yes mayb if it was just lack of sex drive? Try and spice things up? Toys foreplay etc? X
I went through this. Not because of menopause as I’m kind of young for that but I think what contributed to it was my husband being so lazy all the time never helping with anything. I got so mad at him for so long that the thought of him even kissing me made me sick.
Maybe have a mommy getaway? Sometime we need time away from our partners to appreciate how amazing they are
Ask him to get a fresh hair cut or do something different !! I love when my husband cuts his hair and I kinda feel the same way sometimes … go out together just the two of you and drink some margaritas and don’t talk about the kids or bills just enjoy each other
Try some libido herbs
I can relate and I think its normal to go through time to time but let your doctor know if it is that big of a concern and try to do things to spice up the relationship with your husband
It sounds hormonal, talk with your doctor and have your levels checked.
Hormones get them checked asap
Women get low testosterone too.
I’m going thru it rn myself sadly but true
Menopause, haven’t done the deed in 3 or so years. The thought is both gross and exhausting!
Why is everyone saying “hormones” ?! Maybe she just isn’t attracted to him anymore, damn there is nothing abnormal about that. It’s hard to be with someone when you’re not attracted to them, no matter how much you love them.
One of those times all goes wrong. It will eventually pass. Do not stray it will break up family. Never goes well and you will regret it
As stated so many times, go get checked out! Good luck!
Go talk to your dr and see if you are going through something in your life it will help and things will get back on track good luck you got this
Get checked at doctor and try porn or touch yourself see how you feel about that. Do you have any fantasy play dress up role play. Ask doctor for female Viagra. Talk to a therapist. And try to talk to him without hurting feelings ask if he wants to try something different in sexual department.
Go buy him some new clothes, a cologne, dress him up, get him a hair cut, new hair products.
I pray it goes away for you
You have to change your mindset, you found him attractive once, so try and figure out why. Im on some pills that kill my libedo, no sex drive at all. I found ways to get into it, and enjoy it even if I wasn’t hot to trot for him. Attraction in women is in their brains. That wonderful, lustful attraction we have for the other sometimes does disapear, that is when love gets you thru, as well as give and take.
I think it’s hormones
My guess is hormones. Could you be pregnant? The second I get pregnant, I lose any and and all interest in sex (came back in the second trimester though)?
Hugs… you are not alone
Need to reconnect again go on date nights
Is it him, or sex in general that is turning you off? Could just be dysfunctional libido. They have meds for that. If you are disgusted by the man himself, that probably needs some sort of emotional therapy.
Does sound like hormones so I would have my levels checked and also try dating each other again! We all get bored with married life and kids amd the same old routine with the same old things all the time. Best of luck to you!
My husband & i r not attracted to each other anymore either…i know alot of people who go through this…its not always hormones…living as roomates is strange
.but sometimes things change
My wife feels the same about me. I just don’t arouse her. But I am married to her so I accept it.
This breaks my heart for all of you going through this.
Sometimes it’s just a phase, you should see a doctor before you commit to anything like a divorce
I’m asexual or ace so I have little to no desire. But I would see a doctor to make sure it wasn’t hormone or thyroid or anything like that
How old are you? If you are going through “the change” at all…its possible that hormones are screwing with you.
But I think we all forget that spicing things up and variety are essential. Even in the strongest marriages.
Buy him a penis extender
Sometimes living with someone gives you a case of the icks. I would def try to work through it and maybe try to sit down and think…maybe write down what could possibly be adding to that. I think it’s worth fighting for
Are you not attracted to your husband, or do you just have no desire for sex? There is a difference. If you want sex but the thought of it with your husband is what grosses you out, I’d suggest reconnecting. You may need to find that spark again. If you have no desire for sex it could be a hundred different things. Stress, hormones, a phase, etc. You may want to see a doctor.
I’m so sorry to see how many people are dealing with this. I can’t imagine not being attracted to my husband or him to me anymore. After fifteen years, I’m still like a hormonal teen around him. I wish that for everyone. I hope it gets better for each of you.
It will pass, most of the time. It is very normal. I’ve been with mine 20 years and know exactly what you mean. But it did pass
Almost 9yrs and 4 kids. I feel like this alot. He is super handsome and attractive. Apparently it’s just my brain hating him
Spice things up. Get kinky. Your not unattracted to him you are in the couple loop. Find kinks and what truly makes you happy and him. Promise it’ll change everything
Are you menopausal or premenopausal? That can cause a change in your hormones, which in turn could affect your sex drive.
Hormones get some maca powder
You are alone on this one
Happening here too, you are not alone.
What attracted to you initially about him? We all get stuck in the humdrum of every day life. In the beginning when it’s new everything is exciting. You need to find a newness of something between you and get back to that.
Hormones need tested!
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Marriage will not always have a “spark” marriage is about choice and work. You choose to be in that relationship and work through things. Thick and thin. But there are always ways to find that spark again.
It’s the little things you start to resent and then before you know it the thought of them touching you grosses you out .
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Sometimes it passes, sometimes it’s due to hormones and you should talk to your Dr. Usually it can start early to mid thirties so definitely see if it’s medical.
Yes see a dr then go from there
I was in a relationship with a guy. After we had been together for awhile he started letting his hygiene go. Talk to him if there is something like that bothering you. Otherwise think back to those days when he excited you and use your mind to spark that romance again.
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Do you need to be physically attracted to someone to stay with them? If after 16 yrs you’re not physically attracted to him imagine after 36 yr. Gets some therapy, get past this and continue giving him the love he deserves.
Marriage can get stuck in the “roommate stage” you need to find small things about him that you like and go from there. Maybe the way his muscles flex or his smile or when he cooks you dinner or anything small like that this gives you a little something. After a while, that spark will return and you’ll naturally find him attractive again. Might not work for everyone, but can’t hurt to try.
I feel like my hubby feels like this towards me
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My meds lower my sex drive drastically, these help A LOT annnd put me in a good mood! Kinda pricy, but worth it!
Estrogen dropping off.
Sometimes you aren’t meant to be with the same person forever. You could leave him, co-parent and be great friends but move on to a new romantic relationship.
Get some blood work done. Are you on birth control or changed your birth control? I’m on nexplanon and I have zero drive or want. I love my husband, I am attracted to my husband, I just have no desire.
Probably hormones talk to your Dr. or it could just be a phase….
Damn thought I was the only one…
I’ve mentioned this before on someone else’s post, sounds as you are harboring resentments toward your husband.
Im not sure where I heard this and it’s probably not completely accurate. But, I had read somewhere, an elderly couple were asked what the secret was. And their reply (or the gist of it) was they never fell out of love at the same time. I actually think of this often in my own life. Hang in there
Time to rekendall the spark be spontaneous remember the first time y’all met make a scrap book go on a spontaneous date
He must have hurt u or did something that u have tried to sweep under the rug or something just try to forgive n forget an keep communication open no matter what
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It could be a bunch of little things that have finally gotten to you. Individually they may seem silly or petty, but when you look at them collectively it can subconsciously cause you to be not sexually attracted to him. I’m trying to look past a few things with mine right now (mainly passing gas constantly!)
Have your hormones checked by a doctor. When I started perimenopause I lost all libido. After I changed my medication it all flipped around.
Has there been any changes in your husband that you “noticed” when these feelings started? I had a point where my spouse changed his hair and beard and it was off putting for me. As superficial as that sounds it changed the way I saw him, all returned to normal when it grew out. I say this because it could be the most ridiculous thing that flips the switch in your head. Did he behave in a way you found bothersome? Do something to hurt your feelings? Break a promise or commitment? If there’s nothing that changed, or he did to cause a change you see him in a different way then you may be having a chemical change in your body and should see your Dr… He sounds like he’s important to you so do your homework to find the source. Good luck!!!
You’re not alone. Sounds like it may be a hormonal issue that could be menopause related. Talk to your GYN because there is hormone replacement that can help emotionally and physically with these issues. He’s a good man that treats you like a queen so don’t jeopardize your relationship over something that can be fixed.
Get your blood work done, have your hormones checked. I think this happens a lot. It could make a huge difference if that’s the problem. Good luck
Go and check your hormones levels, a deficiency can cause loss of your sexual desires.Maybe pre menopause symptoms, depression that you do not even know you have, stress or simply tiredness can cause that
Maybe there’s other women loving your husband while you feel this way about him
I went through the exact thing,after being with him for 14years. Every little thing became an issue.I left him for 2 months and he had covid and passed away.Biggest mistake off my life and I regret it each day.I know realize that even if I was miserable,I should’ve stayed because that was one person who made me feel like I was a walking God even though he wasn’t romantic but I just got tired.Only God knows what I wouldn’t give to go back in time and change things… Make it work dear…
ok …its NORMAL …lm on my 2nd marriage after previous being 17yrs long with a long break in between raising 2 daughters. Here’s the deal hun!..l’m 64 and you need to reinvent your needs…and sex life.lts not like it used to feel…or how it was before. So start getting naughty!..you need to dress up at least once every 3-4 weeks to start with…long wigs,lingerie thats flattering etc…and role play.Yep…it works. Its like stepping out of yourself for a while and that record that plays in your head…“oh l cant be bothered,too much energy l dont have,or lve got the dishes to do etc”…The naughty secretary in the office playing up with the married boss is far more fun than you’ll expect. Dominate…instigate…be your wicked inner tart!..And buy a good massage table and let him explore his naughty massage therapist within … Talk to hubby and tell him WE can get it back lets do this. …lol have fun!
Get a complete checkup. Your hormones could be out of balance or another underlying medical condition could be causing the problem.
I’ve been married to the same person for 56 years and can honestly say I have not always been sexually attracted to him. I had my hormones checked and medication adjusted the attraction came back. Don’t give up, If you still love him it will be worth it in the long run.