I’m embarrassed so please be gentle!

While brushing my three year olds teeth tonight I noticed a little spot on her back tooth that might be a cavity.

It was a small kinda dark spot in the middle of her tooth.
I have a dentist appointment for her being scheduled in the morning. She hasn’t been to the dentist before, and I’m scared if it is a cavity, she will hate the dentist all together because her first experience will be of getting a tooth filled.
I don’t know how the cavity happened. I brush her teeth when I’m supposed too, she doesn’t have any liquids or food at least an hour before bed, and I never ever let her go to bed with a bottle or cup, when she was little or now.
Any advice on the dentist to make her not hate it? Or thoughts on how I can take better care of her teeth?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I’m embarrassed so please be gentle!

It happens. Don’t overthink it. They make it fun for them and I know you’re nervous, but it’ll be okay!!! Sounds like you caught it early so it’s an easy fix.

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It could just be a stain. My daughter looks like she has cavities on her back teeth but they have always stayed the same.

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Don’t be so hard on yourself. Kids teeth are so sensitive! And if you don’t make it a big deal she won’t even think of the dentist as a bad thing

Dont stress, my daughter has always brushed regularly and never ate much at all for junk, she had to have one of her molars removed around 5 years old and did great.

Everyone in my family genetically has weak teeth. My daughter has two cavities in the back and all they did was paint them with stuff so they won’t get worse since they will fall out anyways

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If it makes you feel any better my kids first time at the dentist was at age 5 :rofl::rofl: If it ain’t hurting her to eat or brushing her teeth leave it alone til you feel she will not be scared to go to the dentist lol

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Well the first appointment is an exam so no worries but when they do fix it or if they do she should be good.

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Kids get cavities. You’re not a bad mom! Believe it or not, a lot of it has to do with genetics.
The dentist (hopefully you were able to find a pediatric one) will help your little once feel comfortable and that the experience is a good one.

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Cavities are actually caused by a virus- typically spread by someone with untreated tooth decay kissing your child, sharing drinks or utensils. The virus then binds with sugar and that is how it creates cavities! It is also sometimes a genetic thing on how healthy their teeth with be. Our hygienist told us she was mortified that her daughter had so much extensive dental work when she works at a dentist office and her father was the dentist (he was a dentist her whole life). It happens to even the most diligent teeth brushers! We are sticklers with Oral hygiene and have 1 child with chronic cavity issues and one who hasn’t had a cavity in her nine years of life! It also took 7 years of routine 2x per year dental cleanings for my one child to even have cavities and then it was BOOM all at once! Don’t beat yourself up! Once possible try adding in a flouride kids mouth wash and use 1x per day after brushing as well!

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I remember getting dental work done very young and don’t remember any pain at all! They make it very fun for kiddos and it shouldn’t be too bad. They see young kids all the time, try to relax mama. :heart:

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My son had caps instead of fillings. Super quick, painless and easy! He called them his “pirate teeth”

Both my kids have seen the dentist since 6 months old, and both off bottles before 1 yr old… annnnnd my 6 yr old had to be put under for multiple crowns… it happens

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Some kids just get more cavities then others.

My daughter got 5 cavities in 8 months!! She brushed and mouth washed. Her dad’s teeth or horrible. Mine are pretty strong and good.

Talk to the dentist and see what they say. As far as her getting the cavity filled, Pediatric dentists usually give the kids laughing gas first so she won’t remember a thing.

Don’t make a bug deal of it. Don’t explain what they’re gonna do. My dentist did in her way. Explained the laughing gas. My diameter was actually excited and couldn’t wait to go. Was an overall great experience for her. And she’s not scared to go back.

I work for a pediatric dentist and we try to make things as fun as possible for their visit. From my kids wise, when I switched to a pediatric dentist made it so much easier and fun for them

Momma it happens! If it is a cavity, schedule it on another day. Let the first experience be just a cleaning and make it as fun as possible. Then explain as good as you can what her next appointment will be and don’t leave out there might be some discomfort. I don’t know if you’re against it but maybe some laughing gas might help.

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Some people are just prone to cavities even if they brush all the time. If she has a cavity it won’t be filled tomorrow they will schedule another appointment to have it filled.

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With the right dentist, she’ll be okay. We had a terrible experience first time. Then went to a pediatric dentist, and everyone in the office was amazing. At 3, they’ll probably sedate her for the filing.
My daughter is now 9. Her dentist retired and she was comfortable with mine. He doesn’t take her insurance, but I’d rather pay and have a good experience. We got through 2 fillings last fall, and it went amazing.

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I think it just happens my oldest has been going every six months since he was one, he’s almost four and he just got his first one. And I brush his teeth after he does every morning and night (cause I don’t trust him lol :joy:)

Definitely if its her first appt show her a video or song about the dentist so shes not scared.

Maybe she needs more calcium have you tried giving her calcium tablets

Nah, not necessarily. My son, he’s 6, went to the dentist for the first time we didn’t make it a big deal but he had an abscess and needed a tooth pulled. We just talked to him like a normal dude, told him he’ll be fine, I couldn’t even go back with him when he was getting it pulled but could for the cleaning and stuff. He was totally chillin’ didn’t cry, and asked to go again tomorrow. So, if you dont make it a big deal and find a children’s dentist, first and foremost, she might do great!

My son has caps my daughter has a filling. My son took a cap with nothing. She said it was easy. My daughter had fun getting her filling. It took maybe 30second. So it seemed. Quick easy nothing. They made it fun. My daughter also had to get a tooth pulled. A year early. So it was a lot of fun. But the dentist are usually amazing with kids. They make it seem like fun. Don’t worry about hating the dentist.

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My daughter hated it she got her cavity filled & they gave her stickers & let her pick out of their treasure box after. After that I started using kids mouth wash also. I use ACT kids. She hasn’t had a cavity since!

My daughter sees a dentist every year through her day care. I would consider taking her yearly from now on.

Everyone has different levels of normal flora inside their mouths. In my pathogenic micro class, we swabed the inside of our mouths after washing it out with sterile water. Then plated it onto microbiology growth media. Some people grew within 24 hours (mine) others didn’t show growth until 48-72 hrs later. Which just goes to explain growing up why I had cavities frequently and my brother didn’t and all did half the time was wet his toothbrush and put it back. (He was under 9 years so michevious boys are going to play). It means you have to be more rigorous in oral hygiene.

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My son knocked his front tooth so hard it died and had to come out at age 3, before kids usually start seeing the dentist (at least back in the day). It hurt despite the Novocain and he cried. I felt so bad and thought he would never want to go to the dentist again.

We got extra presents from the tooth fairy for his being so brave. He loved the attention, the presents, the stickers he got and the “goody bag” of toothbrush, toothpaste, etc., so surprisingly he wanted to go back to visit the dentist all the time! Both he and his sister used to ask if they could visit the dentist and his receptionist randomly! Go figure.

Sometimes if they grid Thier teeth they can get cavities. My 2 year old had to have some filled. The dentist sent him to the hospital for sedation to do it.

Take her to a pediatric dentist vs a general. They’re well equipped for children, and they may offer sedation. Just some staining is also a possibility if she has deep grooves in her teeth, but if she has a cavity it’ll be ok. 3 is a good age to start going to the dentist anyway, so don’t panic or be embarrassed! It sounds like you’re doing everything right with her home care, and you’re getting it checked out early. It’s their job to help, and there should be zero judgement. If you feel it from them, you’re not at the right place :slight_smile:

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Don’t make a huge deal out of it,
From my experience working in dentist the more calm the parents are the better.
Most good dentists have a knack with kids! Dont stress to much! If its the first appointment most will get them used to being in a dental environment first then rebook!
For kids that young could look into sedation but it will cost a fair bit and some good general dentists offer this as an option.

You’re embarrassed why??

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Talk positive about the dentist. Don’t make it out to be a bad thing. If it’s small enough they could possibly get rid of the cavity without even numbing her so ask for your options

My oldest had 2 really bad cavities at 3. She brushed her teeth to much (she wood brush her teeth everytime she went potty during potty training) didnt k ow that could hurt u. The right dentist will make it ok. If she doesnt struggle at a doctors office already u should b alright

Dentist should be experienced with children. Dont stress and she wont. Maybe a wee gift bag for after …bribery works lol…
Baby teeth dont have the same roots as adults so they rarely get toothache unless its an infection and you may well find the dentist doesn’t do anything at all if its still a first tooth.
Ask the dentist about tooth care for her and regular appointments now

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My kids have seen the pediatric dentist since 1, and go every 6mo… my oldest at 6 ended up with two cavities between his molars. I was a mess!! They had us go back a month later, gave him laughing gas and placed silver caps on them instead of pulling or filing them

From my experience my oldest HATED doctor themed visits I would always tell them they were my friends or grandmas friends it seemed to always make him feel better

Well… make sure it’s with a pediatric dentist. My daughter has a cavity and I scheduled to get her in asap… and the scheduler put her with a regular dentist not a pediatric dentist. My daughter was resistant because she was scared and the dentist wouldn’t even deal with her because they’re not trained for dealing with resisting kids. Basically I left with nothing accomplished and now have to go to a new appointment.

My daughter had the same. For kids that young they put them to sleep. It’s sad to watch. I went through it. But my daughter isn’t scared of the dentist now.

When you go do not act nervous. Be as excited and happy about as possible. She will mostly feed off your energy. My kids hate regular doctor checkups so when we go I get really pumped and they don’t worry as much lol. Hope this helps lol

1st not a slam but for those people that say 3 is before they should see a dentist ur wrong…children should start seeing the dentist at 18 mos to 2 yrs they dont do much count teeth get them use to it check for decay but that’s all…second for kids younger then 5 they usually use some kind of sedation usually u go to the hospital or an outpatient oral surgery clinic its more traumatizing to mom and dad then it is the kid lol either way cavity or not get the kiddio started at the dentist the sooner the better and stay consistent so they dont develop that fear

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When u got act normal. Make it a positive experience. Never use the word “hurt”. Don’t say this will not hurt or anything along those lines. A black spot doesn’t necessarily mean cavity just fyi

No matter how well you brush at home, you can’t do a well as they do at the dentist. Kids still need that regular cleaning every six months with fluoride treatment to prevent cavities.

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I had my daughter watch a movie called barbie goes to the dentist. That way she knows what will happen and what to expect. It helped alittle bit, she had a cavity and had to go back a 2nd time to get it fixed. :blush:

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The first appt should only be to look, see what needs to be done, then if she is too young and won’t sit still they should refer her to be out to sleep. Once she is asleep they can get all of the work done at once. Makes it less stressful on her and that way she has a better experience with the dentist. My boss doesn’t force kids, if he feels they are too young and it will traumatize them he would refer them out. You do not want to ruin a relay for your daughter and dentist this young so if they seem forceful say you want to be referred out.

Don’t be embarassed! Kids teeth are really hard to manage, especially at 3. Dentist’s that take kids are usually really good with them and try to make it an easy, positive experience :blush:

No need at all to be embarrassed! I’ve worked in a few dental offices. Smile and make it fun…stay positive and it will all be fine. Sometimes small fillings can be done so gently there’s no numbing needed and we would just tell the child we were cleaning out the gunk…a cleaning would start with counting teeth. It will be ok!!!

Don’t be embarrassed. Cavities happen, & some people’s teeth are even more prone to cavities no matter how well they brush & all that. Keep helping her with the routine, twice a day, let her see you doing the same. Dental appointments twice a year. Find a pediatric dentist, their offices are usually more kid friendly. Also, my children’s dentist told me one of the biggest contributing factors in cavities in kids is fruit snacks. But also try to steer clear of juice (just loaded with sugar) & lots of candy. Good luck!

The first time my son went to the dentist he was 3 and it was to removed his front tooth that he cracked all the way to the gum. It was traumatic because I had to hold him down as the dentist pulled it out. It didn’t have a lasting impression. He’s 6 now and is a rockstar at the dentist.

My daughter got a cavity filled at 4 and she was scared but she did so good. They gave her laughing has. And cavities happen. She is obsessed with brushing her teeth. Like tried every hour. The dentist said her back teeth have such deep grooves there is no way she can get them fully clean. They put a sealant on the others so she didn’t get more. Don’t beat yourself up about it. You noticed it and you’re getting it taken care of! Good momma in my books.

my son had a hole filled it’s only gel it don’t hurt at all the use uv light to set it completely painless it’s baby teeth so nothing like an adult filling xx

Buy some kids books on visiting the dentist and prepare her for the experience. My kids love the dentist- they give out a balloon and a toy at the end so it’s fun for them. If your dentist doesn’t do that, then take them to the dollar store afterwards.

The first dentist appointment should be around 6months old (or when they get their first tooth) and should be scheduled regularly (every 6 months).
They probably will schedule her to come back to have it filled.