I may have the option to adopt my grand-daughter: Advice?

I have a close friend in her 50s. She has chosen to be a foster parent to infants. She has relacted and is breastfeeding even at her age. She is in the process of permanent placement for a little boy and girl. She is AMAZING and I don’t know how she’s done it! Kelly Goerler Gilchrist

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Iv raised three of my grandchildren love every minute of it . wouldn’t trade nothing for it .but did not adopt them but with me and my husband raised them

Sweetie your age is just a number when it comes to the love of a child. Feel blessed that God has given you this wonderful opportunity to take this beautiful gift and be able to nurture her, love her and give her a good life. As long as you are in good health and mind that is all she needs and with adopting her if by chance - and pray it doesn’t - that something were to happen to you she is set for the remainder of her underage years but by the Grace and will of God you won’t have to worry about that and neither will she. She will have the opportunity to know her family and later in life make her own choices on how to feel about them but the one thing she will know is that you stepped up to that plate and gave her that loving chance because you loved her unconditionally. What a blessing you are to this sweet child. God Bless you both hun. And just to add this I’m going to be 57 soon and raising my gr.son who will be 4 in Sept. and I wouldn’t change it for the world he is a true blessing and I love him just as I do my other ones. I have an 18yr. old gr.daughter and an almost 2yr. gr.son. as well. The oldest lives with her other gr.ma and the youngest is with his loving devoted parents.

I had children at a young age and struggled with energy because of a thyroid condition. So don’t worry about that. You’ll find ways to help your grand daughter exert energy. She just needs love and a stable home. All the best.

God wouldn’t give you anything you can’t handle :heart_eyes::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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You will be 74 when he is 18. I dont think that is fair to the child. Let him be adopted by a young couple that cant have children.

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My grandma raised me. I was six when she adopted me and she was 56. Yes, growing up it was different than my friends because their parents went more places and did more things. As I got older I spent a lot of time with friends so I didn’t really feel like I missed out on much. My grandma gave me a loving home that I wouldn’t have had being placed in foster care. I never met my dad and my mother was too selfish and immature to worry about raising a child. I turned out just fine. I’m now married and have a daughter of my own. I think it’s best to take your family in as long as you’re in good health and capable of doing it… You never know what that baby may have to go through throughout the years if you dont. At least you can give her a loving home.

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My mother is now 58 and has been raising my niece and nephew since 2015. She didn’t legally adopt them but she and my dad have full permanent custody. The kids are now 5 and 6 and are thriving despite having FASD (fetal alcohol). My parents are giving them a life their mother never could.
My parents are on facebook if you’d like to reach out to me and I can connect you to them.

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This is such a personal decision. Personally I have adopted from foster care twice. With my oldest, I couldn’t imagine letting her birth family be involved. They couldn’t or wouldn’t take care of her and the court deemed them unfit. However, my youngest, was placed with me when she was 6 weeks old. The grandmother could have, and would have taken care of her. But after we met at court she ended up not fighting for her rights. I do let that birth family see them. The circumstances that brought her into care were different but it is definitely a very personal decision because ultimately if you let the baby go into care there is the possibility that you won’t be given contact once the baby is adopted, however there is also the probability and I don’t mean anything negative about your child so please don’t think me offensive, but if the parents can’t pull themselves together for this child statistically they could just continue having babies that go into the system and if you adopt this one, or don’t adopt this one, you may be making the same decision in a year.

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Definitely a personal decision. We’ve had this many times in our family due to an aunt unable to have her own children. She adopted a child from nearly each of her sisters & has turned around & raised her grandchildren as well. Very inspirational woman. She kept our family together :heart: many of our family members struggle with addiction & various other issues so it has been a blessing to still be able to know them & see them & love them as present family members.

My aunt has kinship care of my children. I won’t be getting them back, but due to the nature of one of the fathers criminal history, child safety refuses to allow my aunt to adopt my children, even with my and the fathers’ permissions

I’d definitely take my grandson or grandchildren if I had too

I’m doing it now and I’m 63

Im 69 i would take in any of my grandkids full stop x

Raise your grandchild! It’s that simple age is only a number and God will be your strength praying for you and baby.

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If I was you I would adopt my grandchild.

My mom raised my nieces and nephews best thing is for family if you don’t she will end up being raised by strangers and you won’t see your granddaughter again. I would do it in heart beat

My mom and dad have my 2 nieces and nephew. It does make things different if you have other kids. I understand they live with her full time and she has to give them a life like they are hers instead of grandkids. It just sometimes sucks for the other grandkids cause they don’t get to be with grandma one on one.

My children gave lots of friends raised by grandparents! I’m sure it’s harder but love can build a bridge

My grandmother raised me and my younger brother when she was in her sixties, up until we were 20 & 17 we lived with her.
Was the best i could of ever wished for, she often said if she could of done it all again she would have without doubt. Point blank refused to see us anywhere else.
I have no doubt she faced really hard times as she was completely alone in doing it all and never had a break!! But she gave us a great childhood, loved and cared for our every need could never thank her enough for saving us from what could have been a very different life. She done an amazing job
All the best

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I was raised by my great grandmother. She raised 11 children of her own. I am not the only grand child she took in and cared for. She was loved and respected by her whole family. Did I mention she was 73 when she took me in? Her exact words to anyone (some being her own kids)sayin you’re too old was, “I’ll decide when I’m too old to look after my grand baby not you.” You will do great, you’ll see.

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My Mom raised 1 of her granddaughters and is now raising a great-granddaughter. She says it keeps her young and busy. She just turned 75. Mom, Dad, and newest youngest sister love their life. I couldn’t do it. Each person is different. Follow your heart.

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My youngest sister is 30 years younger than I am​:heart_eyes: my parents have adopted 3 children and our family wouldn’t change a thing. If you’re healthy, able, and have a good support system in place, don’t think twice :heart::heart:

I would say adopt her! I set with this guy his wife was 55 when she got pregnant by her youngest! So he was 14 when his dad got sick but the child is a happy normal 14 yearold boy and so smart! :slight_smile:

I’m a 49 yr old raising a 6 yr old and a 3 yr old and I love it. I know they’re being taken care of in a stable loving home I don’t have to worry about them. I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way

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My daughter took her nice same thing the best thing in the world u are amazeing

My husband and I were 57 and 59 when our Granddaughters were born We have had them since birth. We adopted them last October when we were 66 and 68. They are the most precious children. Best decision of our lives. They are 10 and 8 yrs old now. And we also enjoy homeschooling them

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Me and my husband had our granddaughter since she was 1. She is now 5 fixing to be 6. We have full custody of her. We did it cause child services was going to put her in foster care. We wasn’t going let that happen. You should do it. Your granddaughter better off with you then anyone esle.

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I would go for full custody of her 100%.

My granny raised me and she was in her 60s when i was born and got custody of me when i was 11 and she was 72… I couldnt thank her more she was the best mother figure i could have ever asked for… She was my granny my best friend my momma and my rock… She met my husband and my first daughter sadly she passed a month before i fell pregnant with my son. I know it was hard on her at times as it is with any parent but she always said she would have never made any other decision… After being in the foster care system and also seeing my sister shuffle through family and homes with the state till she came home too … I couldnt be more appreciative of all she did, and the time i had with her. If you have the ability please take her dont let her be shuffled about

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Better th ou raise the child than a stranger

I’m 45 and have a biological son who’s 2 and a half. He’s the best thing I ever did, I feel better now than I did 5 years ago.

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My grandmother raised me I’m 57 she passed away 4years ago at the age of 103…she was my age when she “adopted” me…

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Absolutely adopt. My opinion

If it’s best for the child then I would consider it. Older people tend to feel young when grandbabies around.

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We had kinship placement of my boyfriends granddaughter. Then was award custody. But parents still have some legal rights. The parents still get supervised visitation. But to legal adopt you would still have to go to court and terminate parental rights. And then file with the court to adopt child. Depending on the state that can be very difficult. Good luck! God bless you!

My grand mother was a foster mom who had custody of her 1 year old great grand daughter when she was in her mid 60s until my cousin was about 7 or 8 shes now a teenager!

I had my last child at 45. They keep us young!

I was raised by my grandmother. I’m now 32 years old and she’s my very best friend and favorite person in the entire world (besides my own kids).

Family is family. :slight_smile:

My great grandparents took me on when I was 10. They had the option too when I was a baby and didn’t take it for whatever reason. I know my grandma has always regretted that, as she’s told me. I appreciate them so so much and love them so much for everything they’ve done for me. If you think you can do it then do it. That little girl will appreciate it more then you’ll ever know!

My parents fostered and adopted one of my sisters and I in their 50s. My adoptive mom is almost 80 now and you wouldn’t know it by just looking at her. Fostering kids especially the special needs or medically fragile babies were their thing. My three sisters and I are their second family. We’re the same age groups as their biological grandchildren. My mom keeps my oldest most of the time simply because she enjoys having her around. I can tell you that none of us kids ever missed out on anything growing up. All 7 of us have been given whatever (to an extent) we wanted when our parents could afford it. I love being adopted and my parents are pretty awesome. That being said we’ve had our ups and downs. My age group has grown up in a completely different world than my parents did. We were there when cell phones were being developed and first put out for the public. Pagers had just been phased out. We watched the internet go from dial up to WiFi. Computers went from being big bulky desktops to tablets. We have an entirely different understanding of these things than some older generations. We were there when 9/11 happened. Many of us too young to really grasp what happened. We’ve watched lgbt fight publicly for their rights along with other groups. We’re more open and accepting of differences than older generations and many times have to re-educate them about certain issues. You won’t get why they’re into certain things. You won’t understand why they chose certain friends. But that’s everyone in life. Things change. Time changes a lot. People ask for help more now. There’s more accurate diagnosis for different things. Sometimes things seem fake or played up when it’s really that bad. Just remember to take it one day at a time and love them with all your heart and you’ll be fine.

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I was raised by my grandma and she is a wonderful woman who I adore. When people ask me who she is I tell them shes my grandma however shes my mother pretty much. Love her to pieces​:heart: she won’t care how old you are. Just about the fact you love her and cared enough that you took her in when her own parents wouldn’t :heart:

I went through this as well. I was 55 myself and had to make changes and become a mom all over again. My grandson was only 6 weeks. My husband and I adopted him a year later. He was a blessing to us. Don’t even think twice about it. He will be in better hands with you. You can do it.

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You are in a tough position. The fact you are concerned tells me you have much love for your grandchild.

My husband was raised by his grandma, and it was the best thing that ever could have happened to him.

I am in my fifties and have not had any grandkids yet . However , I think you should strongly consider keeping this precious baby if you can physically and financially do so . I think she will be a huge blessing to you . That’s what I would do . However , if you cannot do it , placing the baby for adoption would be the next best option . Many people would love to have her for their own . Praying for you dear one !

If you do this, and commit to it mind and soul, the rewards will be tenfold! If you do it out of feeling responsible or for what others would think, you will pay for it tenfold. Children deserve and need love and care, not just a sense of duty. Be honest with yourself. If you can do that and do it for love, it won’t feel like duty.

I was raised by my grandparents my whole life and it was the best thing. Lord knows where I’d be without them

I was raised by my grandmother. I put that woman through hell in my teen years! Lol. But she made me the woman i am today and I’m blessed that my mother left as I would not be the woman and mother I am today. She took me in in her early 50s. Do what you think is best and ideal for your grand baby and yourself. Good luck!!

I was raised by my grandmother and I am so grateful she stepped up. I am a far better person and better mother than I would of ever been if it wasn’t for her.

He’s yours-im speaking from experience when I say you’ll need to get him into counseling if the parents ever do step up.

The child belongs in the family keep her it will be rewarding

Do it for the baby. If you can, they need to be raised by blood family. When they get older they will have some since of belonging. They will be happy they were never given up on. It will also keep you feeling younger too. It’s not all good times but they will out weigh the bad ten folds over. You need to be sure cause it’s a life long commitment. Good luck. Prays for all.

My mom was 45 when she had me after getting married for the first time at 41. I had a wonderful childhood and she & my (younger) dad lived long enough to see their grandchildren graduate from high school.

Kids are adaptable, and there are programs like Scouts, Boys and Girls Clubs, camps, rec center classes and more with people to give your kids the adventures and experiences you may not be up for.

I have a friend in her 60s who adopted the child of one of her foster care teens. She and her family are having a blast with him, the older kids adore him, and he’s such a great kid despite having to deal with some autism.

Get your support systems in order and go for it. The child will keep you young and you have wisdom, maturity and experience on your side. There are medical advances all the time to help you keep up, plus disabled parents are crushing it every day. Go be an angel in this child’s life. I doubt you’ll regret it.

Also look into programs and support groups for grandparents raising children. There are more than you think!

I am going threw the same thing,only I have 4 grandchildren. I have had them since oct.2018. and now it’s time to do kinship. I am 47. And I am dedicated to these kids. But with kinship, the parent can still come back and file for custody. Also to adopt them both parents have to sign off because that’s what I wanted to do is adopt them. The only way to do that without them signing is to take their rights away which might happen in my case because the parents don’t want to sign. And the lawyers say it time. They have 2 wks left. I wish you luck.

I am a child of adoption by grandparents.
As i grew up i didnt understand why my mom didnt want me. I was in therapy for a year to try to understand and that didnt help. It became easier when my mom wasnt around and i learned to live with it. My nana and papa became my mom and dad. Yes life is very confusing because i now have a very good relationship w my biological mom.

Growing up i didnt understand and only had one part of the story and an altered part of the story. Its not going to be easy on you or the baby later on and some days youll ask yourself why you took on the responsibility and she will say why cant i just live w my mom.

But you need to look at it as its the best situation for her to be with you. My mom and dad were in their early 50s too and god i was hell to raise :joy: but tbh even w having a good relationship with my mom now i wouldnt change my up bringing at all.

I learned statability, respect, love, how to over come obstacles, learning my mom did love me and my grandma had the best intentions. Its hard for everyone in the situation but itll eventually get easier and things will fall into place

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Soo many things to consider. I adopted my nephew, but i was in my twenties when that that took place. I think the things to consider are -Are you in good health, financially able to do this, do you have the time and energy for a young one-are you in good standing relationship with parents-will they want her back in 1 yr-5 yrs? Will you be called grandma or mom-once you adopt you are legally the mom. Do you have other children and will this be confusing to the family? You have to also consider how this will be on the child as she grows up and at one point or another will have to explain to someone why mom is so much older then other moms-will you let her know she is adopted? I’m not saying don’t do it–but consider the factors-look ahead. There are other options such as legal guardianship versus adoption if you think there is ever a chance parents turn their life around and decided to step up to the plate. Do you really want to raise her for 10-15 yrs and then have parents just return to claim her? Its a very hard decision. I am glad I did it-but it can be confusing yrs down the road-esp when my son calls me mom and my brother dad-haha—hope you take the time and think ahead-and good luck.

My grandparents was a blessing I thank the good lord above for them adopting me.

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Do what you think is best for your grandbaby.

I began raising my granddaughter when she was 2 months old. As my son and his wife progressed through the CPS and court system we were worried. After my husband spoke to our granddaughter’s lawyer, he advised us to get our own lawyer. We were not happy with CPS 's plan and ended up in mediation. My son and his wife ended up giving up their parental rights and they left town and the state because unknown to us, they were about to have their 2nd child. Unknown to the parents, my husband had been undergoing diagnosis and starting treatment for esophageal cancer. This was the start of December. In January we adopted her. Her 1st birthday was the 28th. My husband died in April. We were 49 and our daughter was 15 months. I kept all court records and never spoke I’ll of her parents. They eventually moved back with her sister and brother and made sure she knew they were mother and father. As she grew I concentrated on raising her and even used my ex DIL as a part time sister. She and my son were living together and I had changed work hours for 3 months. She is 25 and married. She has a relationship with her parents. Her mother has been married since 2007 and her father has been married and divorced. She knows what happened, she knows her father’s side of the story. She might have read the court stuff I kept. She figures she’s one of those kids who had 2 dads and 3 moms. She spoke to a counselor in her first semester at college and I do not know what the issues were. I do know she is caring, loving and knows what she wants and needs. She is 25 and I am 73. I always felt she was the angel God sent to help me cope with losing my husband and best friend. She seems to accept her birth parents faults.

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My parents adopted my niece. Best decision they made! Thankfully, my sister cleaned up her life and is active in my niece’s life now.

Jump in there and adopt! Your young enough 50 is the new 30

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As an adoptee who was not adopted by family I always wondered why noone in the family wanted me. If you can keep her in the family I would recommend it.

U should at least she will be loved and she will know this later on in life the sacrifices u made for her

Go for guardianship, best of both. Keep relationships with son, for granddaughter. And don’t worry about being to old, children’s services will use every excuse in the world against you, so they can adopt for pocket money, in their pocket.

I would do it. I would still try to have her know her mom. Just in case something ever happened and she was given back or had to go to her mom she wwould at least not be going to a stranger.

Wonderful person may God Bless you

You’ll be loved as baby’s mum and grandma, when the time is right, always be honest and knowledgeable lucky baby girl so much wanted and loved, always do what you believe is right for granddaughter. Xx :kissing_heart:

I am in my late Fifties husband in his sixties we have adopted our grandchildren they were one an two when we got them they are seven an eight we talk to them about their parents they understand they call us mom an dad the parents still have not got their act together life is great

I think it would be best to call child welfare in your area