I live in the Bay Area and it is the most expensive place to live. If I could pick up and live somewhere else I totally would. I say go back to the east coast. You’ll struggle forever out here.
The first year is always the hardest
Go home where you have a support system of family and friends. It doesn’t mean you failed. It just doesn’t fit your needs.
I moved from Arizona to Georgia when I was 19 to marry a guy (we were both military and young and dumb). When it inevitably failed, I chose to stay in GA. It took about 3 years before I established myself. It’s now seven years later and I am remarried with two kids and a beautiful support system. I miss Arizona and visit every year but I wouldn’t move back now. So if you really want to make it work, you’ll find a way. If you still want to move back, you can’t say you didn’t try, because at this point you it sounds like you have and it is totally okay to go home, you’re not a failure, you just found out more about yourself in this process.
Decide what you really want. Don’t use the word failure. What do you want. Do it. Be happy. Enjoy your family and your life. If East is where your heart is go East. But if west is where your heart is then stay and don’t look back with regret. Don’t give up find a way to make it work. If what you are doing now isn’t working find a way to change things up and make it work