So I moved to the west coast from the east coast to have a new start with my two kids. I’ve been here since February. My mom had been living with me, and it just wasn’t healthy. So I decided to move out here with my older sister. We have no one else out there. Now I am starting to think I need to go back. I wanted to come out here, have a fresh start and finally enjoy my life. But now that we are out there, it’s hitting me that I miss all of my family. I miss my dad, my brother, my nieces. All my friends. Would it be stupid to go back without giving it an actual try living out here? I just feel like I’m not going to make it. It’s super expensive. I have no help. I don’t get a break ever. ( kids dad is back on the east coast ) I pay for everything on my own. I have to pay to send kids back and forth. My sister said she would help out when we got here. She said she would watch the kids. Etc. Which she did. But then it turned into I shouldn’t expect her to do it for free ( which I didn’t ). Then she could only do it two times a week. So I put them in daycare for my full-time job hours and had to quit my nighttime job because paying a babysitter 100$ a night for 5 hours just wasn’t working for me. I had a free sitter back home…didn’t have to have them in daycare ….I could also take them to work with me if needed. I just feel like I set myself up for failure. But I don’t want to give up and go back just because I’m homesick.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I moved to the west coast and want to move back: Does that make me a failure?
Go back and be happier
Go home and be happy.
It’s okay to be homesick and it’s okay to go home. 
you are not a failure!
Am I The only one who’s confused? It said she has no one else out there after mentioning her mom but then she went and said she misses her dad her brother , her nieces and her friends? Did I read that wrong
That doesn’t make you a failure at all! Life is a learning experience and now you can look back in five years and have a funny story to tell! Do what is best for you and your babies! My ex husband and I moved from Oklahoma to Arizona wanting to do the same thing and was there for a week absolutely hated it and moved back! Now we look back at it and laugh!
Go home or close to home. Reunite with family and friends that are your support system. I don’t get to see me daughter in CA. It’s been fires, mud slides, drought, earthquakes and other scary things. Custody issues. .a a big price tag to live there at our expense. Been seven years
The problem isn’t the place, the problem is you. You are taking your same problems with you wherever you go. You need to figure out why you are unhappy and deal with it. Changing locations isn’t going to change who you are.
You’ve answered your own question, get back home were you belong & are happy
You are not a failure I did the same thing.I moved to California from Texas and was home sick and I moved me and my two year old at the time back to Texas in less than two months of the moving there.
Go home…life is too short…just be happy!!
I moved 800 miles away for 10 years, and had no one and came back, because my kids missed our family. Nothing wrong with it, if it’s what’s best for your family.
Go back home imo especially if you have help
Your not a failure. The west coast is a huge adjustment and culture shock compared to the east coast. Go home be with your family . I have been in CA for 8 yrs and still cant adjust . I miss the east coast and would go back in a heart beat but , unfortunately, I have custody orders preventing that .
Takes about a year to settle in and make some real friends. remember ‘why’ you left the east area, tough it out and you might just suprise yourself.
You should move back. You would be happier, more stable, and overall healthier. Stress is not good for you.
I would suggest going back…and also don’t live with your mom! You are correct in saying as an adult, living with a parent isn’t healthy.
Go where you are happy. Life’s too short.
I took off to the west coast w/ 9 children. Best move ever. Hard yes! But so worth it.
Nothing wrong with deciding you took a chance and didn’t like it. Just go home.
You gave it a try and it isn’t working out- it doesn’t make you a failure. Not everything that we attempt in life works out, and it has nothing to do with failure- it’s just life. We try new things, and sometimes they work out and sometimes they don’t. Be proud that you tried, learn what you can from it and do what you need to do to be happy. Don’t make yourself miserable trying to force something that isn’t working. Life is too short.
It is indeed do what makes you happy.
It takes a village to successfully raise kids! If your village is back home, you are not a failure just smart about how to raise your family. Go home and make life easier and better for you and your babies.
I moved from the east coast to the west coast with my kids. Yes things were very difficult at first. It’s just us. We actually ended up moving back to the east coast and the. Back here to California after a year. In the end just do what you feel is right for you and your kids. It doesn’t make you a failure to try new things and not like the outcome.
ur not a failure, just may e impulsive, but thats sometimes a good thing, bcz u learn to make better decisions. if things can’t work out with ur mom that’s not as important as ur childrens’ well-being. go back home and change what u can but din’t take ur kids away from everything they’ve known n loved just bcz u can’t deal w some things. if it was major like abuse n stuff like that well yea, but in rhis case it seems to be minor things. go back girl, be happy, and look at the areas where u need to grow up and grow strong. best of luck!
If I could move and have help, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Don’t struggle just to make a point. What would you want your kids to do in the same situation if they were adults?
Go home. You didnt fail. You lasted longer than most. I tell everyone that wants to relocate so drastically, it is SO hard started from new with no support system. It’s not easy. It’s not cheap.
you need to do what is best for you. And if that means moving back east, then do it
If Iiving with your mom was not working then don’t live with your mom.
Your not a failure, you tried it and aren’t happy, move back to the East Coast.
Just so you know it’s absolutely ok to change your mind
There’s never any shame in starting over. Start over as many times as you need to, to find the life you want to live and that makes you happy. I’ve moved home 3 times. 3rd time was a charm for my family. You live one life, it doesn’t matter what other people think. Go home 
Go where you’re happy- failure is your own definition. If you aren’t happy - staying won’t help you “succeed “ go back or go elsewhere. Places and people don’t make us happy- it comes from within
I packed up my two kids and closed my eyes, and picked some random a$s town on the map eight hours from my family and friends and made a life for us. I was that tired of being around family and the area I had grown up in my whole life. Not only that, but we moved to a mountain town with no cell phone service, with no internet or tv either. It doesn’t sound like very hard conditions but it was. There were times when I would wonder to myself wtf I was thinking. The whole way of life where we moved to was different, in good ways and bad. My point in that ramble is that if you have enough drive in you to keep going, give it a few months. We made it three years until two weeks ago - and we moved even further away. I feel so accomplished. I feel in control of our lives for the first time in my life and it’s so empowering. You can do this if you really try
Go back home but not living with your mom get your own place it’s okay staying where you aren’t happy is what making you fail yourself
Come on back to us over on the East coast girl. You’re not a failure. You did what most wouldn’t have the guts to do. Your family is your support so do what your heart is telling you to do.
Its ok to go home! Go be with your family
Go home if that’s what makes you happy
Go where you’re happy
There’s no need to struggle if you don’t have to. Go home 
Cost a living alone is reason to come back
Sounds more like it would be a good move to go back due to financial reasoning and a better support system. Which means overall a healthier environment for you stress wise. Also, means you’re not a failure still be proud you tried. Most wouldn’t of even made it that far to at least know if it’d work out or not.
Stick it out. I miss my family but I live where I’m happy. I won’t move from the west coast.
Dude… Life is too short for it to matter. Live wherever you want for whatever reasons. It wasn’t a failure, it was a learning experience. You learned you prefer someplace else. Better to have moved and not liked it than to never have and pine for something not worth pining for
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I moved to the west coast and want to move back: Does that make me a failure?
Far from a failure. I’d never survive on the West Coast. It seems like a liberal paradise. No thanks. Come home.
Go back and apologize! Be thankful every day!
Think About the pros and cons. Think why u really left in the first place. Are the kids settling in ok. If they r old enough to understand ask them how they would feel about goin back. And follow ur heart. But don’t move back without a plan. Where u gunna live? sounds like previous arrangements were not working. Where u gunna work? Think about everything. Sounds like it was easier “back home” but how bad do u want that “fresh start”?
You tried and it wasn’t for you, be proud for taking such a big step to better your life. Some things are just not meant to be and now you know this wasn’t meant to be. Not a single thing wrong with that !
A fresh start won’t come without struggles.
sounds like you thought moving away was gonna be easy and you’re kinda getting a hard reality, but you’re a lot stronger than you think, If you really wanted this remember why, tell the dad to step up and if he wants to see the kids to pay as well for their flights, put him on child support to cover the kids cost and the kids ONLY, so you can use the money you earn to cover you.
Exhaust resources and see what is available. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to go back home, I will say I think it’s absolutely ridiculous that you have to send the kids back and forth on your dime. If it was me I’d try longer before moving back because I’m sure it was expensive moving there to begin with. But that in no way makes you a failure.
Do what feels right for u… then everyone will be happy
There’s no shame in going home and being around family. Really seems like the smart thing to do.
Boo hoo. They are your kids.
Go home. You tried. It didn’t work.
Needing help from family & friends is not a sign of failure! Weigh your pros & cons and decide what is best for you and your kids. Ask God to help you make wise decisions.
As one from east coast living in Southern California. I completely understand your struggles and if I was you, I would move back east soon as you can!! My husband is military so I don’t have a choice in where I move but next week I’m finally moving back east to Tennessee while he finishes out his last eighteen months of service. The cost of living is ridiculous so you’ll never get to enjoy your life and kids if you stay!!!
Go where you are happy
Nope. You tried something new. It wasn’t for you.
The real failure would be continually living there and being unhappy about it
I would move back home where you know you will have the support you need! Kids deserve to see a healthy happy mom!
Do what is best for you and the kids. Keep it stable for the kids…this back n forth is not healthy for the kids.
Sounds like you had it better back home and that it’s not better that you moved if you cant afford things font get a break ect I mean its obviously better for you and your kids to move back.
If it did not work for you go back home
…be happy with your life and kids
Look at these responses!!! “Go home” seems to be the most popular response! Take this advice and be happy again! Do it for YOU!!!
Home is where your heart is. I moved to Florida my Freshman year of college and moved back to Colorado because I was so home sick. That was 20 years ago and I’m still in Colorado. 
Family and friends are #1.
Do whatever makes you happy. We only have one life. Don’t worry about what anyone thinks. I couldn’t make it as a single mom on the west coast with the high prices of everything. I understand being homesick. My husband was military and I couldn’t wait until we could move back home. There is no shame in wanting to be close to family and friends. Do what feels right! Good luck!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I moved to the west coast and want to move back: Does that make me a failure?
A friend moved far away. She had strong doubts too. She decided she’d stay for as many days as it was miles from where she moved from to where she moved to. Say it was 1,200 miles, she resolved to stay for 1,200 days before making a decision on if she liked it or not. Things weren’t ideal at first. Her life fell into place and she wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
Do with that what you want.
You tried and it didn’t work, hold your head high and go back, safe travels.
You need to decide what’s best both financially/emotionally for yourself and babies. Sit and write a pro/con list! Don’t let emotions rule you! Make decisions based on what’s best for your family! Not Failure!! Just common sense!
Not a failure. Make the choice that feels right.
Your not a failure. You gave it a go and it’s not working out for you, it’s simple, don’t over think it. At least you tried it and have to sit and wonder “IF”, what “IF” I would have made the move to the west coast? Would my life be better? Now you know! Go back Home with your head held high and make the best of it and spend as much time with your dad that you can while you can. Family is very important, so embrace it.
Good luck my friend!
Go back. I’m sure the kids miss their family too.
Don’t worry about what others think. Do what is best for you!!??
I would go back sounds like your missing out on a whole lot plus spending a fortune
You’re not a failure. You just tried something that you don’t like. It’s called life.
Your home is where your heart is
Living in the South is better!
Went to VA from CA. Ly lasted 2 years and I came home.
You gave it a good couple months and it didn’t work so I would go home. You also have to remember it will be better for the kids also being close to family and what they know.
I moved to California years ago I stayed 6 months and came back to Texas. It wasn’t for me ur not a failure sweetie ur just a mom trying to figure it out.
If you feel like thats what you need then no youre not a failure. Youre a mom.
My honest opinion, go back home. Sounds like the kids are still little, your family is still there, kids father is still there… trust me just go back. And no its not that you failed, but make the memories with your family, friends and loved ones while they’re still here. Your time will come to relocate again… but now is a time to go back to your roots. Its one thing to live within driving distance, but its completely different to live on opposite sides of the country. If your questioning yourself, you pretty much got your answer… don’t look for us to tell you its OK 
Life is short honey. MAKE yourself happy.
Heck no…too expensive out there
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I moved to the west coast and want to move back: Does that make me a failure?
If you went back, would you go back to living with your mother which is the reason you moved in the first place? You said it was unhealthy. I’m assuming you are living with your sister. You may want to work on living on your own and not depending so much on your family. Time to grow up.
Sometimes it takes an experience like this for you to appreciate your family . Go back. Sounds like there would be a village tk help with the kids.
Go somewhere else that isnt as expensive and make friends. I wouldnt stay and I wouldnt go back either if it was that bad that you made that drastic move.
Family is important,life is short,go home.
Just don’t do what I did. Moved from the west coast to the east and back within a few months then a year later went back to the east coast just to move back to the Midwest a month later. Now I hate where I am and regret it. Think it through thoroughly!! Trust your gut
I’d move back and just not live with your mom
Go back. Life is short
It depends where and what state u moved to cuz of u moved to a place on tri cities in Washington that’s cheaper than the east coast and I dunno where u we’re leaving but I am from the east moved to west it’s way cheaper but still needed family came to back to east it’s so freaking expensive even more so than the west o guess it truly depends on where u moved and where u we’re try working it out and looking for resources
I don’t say this to be mean, but it doesn’t sound like you thought this through before you moved. Is your kids Dad abusive or absent in their lives? If not, I don’t understand why you would move them so far away from him & the rest of their family. If your mom living with you is toxic, get your own place without her. You don’t even need to go back to the same city/state, but east coast to west coast is super far not to mention the west coast is stupid expensive. Sounds like you also need to work on financial independence.
The West Coast is super expensive compared to some places, it sounds like to move back wouldn’t just be because you’re homesick but for financial reasons. You know best what you need to do. Whether it’s to stay on the West Coast and try to figure out more financial help or to move back east and be closer to family and have things go easier on your finances, I’m sure you’ll figure out what is best for you and your family.
Remember why you left in the first place. I think once you find a job that fits with your schedule, you can be with your kids more and have less babysitting. Try EKG monitor tech. It’s a 3 day to a two week course depending on the school. You can work 12 hour shifts 3 times a week. You pay $300 to get certified. give it a try. Even if you make a goal to move back in 6 months. At least try. That was a big move you made so it had to be a good reason. Don’t give up.
You can’t fail at goals you’ve set, you just change the finish line
Not giving it a chance would of been failure.