Idk what to do anymore. I have three kids, two from a previous relationship and one from the current. My bf owns the house we live in n his mother lives with us. My youngest is his, and he is two months old. My bf works, and I stay at home with the kids. My dad is currently in the hospital on life support. And our son has yet to meet him bc my bf doesn’t like the fact that they smoke (outside their home) so I haven’t been “allowed” to go over there and visit since he was born. Well, today we were supposed to go to the hospital and see him, and my bf starts this huge fight goes back to our house gets out of the car throws the car keys n $40 at me slams the door and gets into his truck and drives off. All in front of the kids (8 yrs, 7yrs and two months old). I have left previously while I was pregnant with my youngest, and I thought we had worked through our issues, but anytime anything doesn’t go the way he wants it to, it’s a battle. He constantly calls me a stupid bitch and constantly bitches about the house bc I don’t want dust and mop every single day. I dust once a month n I mop every other day. I’m not aloud to go anywhere without him unless it to pick my kids up from school. They can’t participate in anything unless he can go too bc I could be “talking, flirting, or fucking” someone else (I’ve never in my life cheated on him or anyone else for that matter). He has zero trusts towards me n blames it bc I left him before. Well, anyway today I go see my mom by myself with the kids for a brief minute before she goes to the hospital and gets a coffee n comes back to his house. N, he is sitting in the living room talking shit about me to his worthless mom! (She sits around does nothing takes a bath, hell if I didn’t fix her dinner plates she would starve. She pisses on the floor in a bucket or on a blanket n doesn’t clean it up ever I have to!! That’s why I call her worthless) she sits here when he isn’t around and tells me constantly I don’t deserve what he is doing to me I deserve better. But then sits in there n talks him up on being a dickhead to me?? Wth do I do? I have no job, nowhere to go. My mom’s house is full. And he is spiteful he n his momma would claim I’m unfit because I have no way to support my kids. Keep in mind when I meet him, I had a job and was making $15 an hour plus bonus checks monthly totaling in about $1000 bonus every month. But he didn’t like me working bc other men would be around. N I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I didn’t know it would turn out like this, or I would of never quit my job. I need advice on how to handle a heartless ass hole without losing my kids or going homeless. I can’t keep faking this smile much longer. I’m becoming more and more depressed by the hour.
Any chance of you qualifying for daycare/rent/food support? Is it possible to make it work temporarily at your parents house so you can go back to work and get on your feet?
Also maybe local churches can help you secure a place.
You need to contact churches and shelters. It would be better than where you are and safer for both you and your kid’s then staying in an abusive relationship. Not only is that not good for your kids to see but it will teach them get that is okay Behavior because you stayed and dealt with it. It will be hard and it will be rough and it will probably want to be one of the most hardest thing you’ll ever have to do but you need to leave that environment now ASAP! You need to think what is best for you and your children he is a worthless piece of crap and he is never going to change, he is controlling and before too long it will get physical and maybe even worse. Leave before you end up six feet under the ground and never get the chance to save you or your kids. Get a restraining order against him for you and your kids and take his butt to court
Get a job and go to dhs office n apply for help to find a place n leave
I was in an abusive relationship for seven years until I finally wised up and left if I wouldn’t have he would have literally killed me. The last three days with him he had me tied to a chair can you beat me he raped me and when he fell asleep I was able to loosen the tape around my hands and feet grab my baby and get the hell out
You better leave while they’re still four of you alive and that won’t be for much longer
He made you quit your job because that’s how he now controls you
Yeah no. Sweety. U need to be gone. He is pulling u down to his low level… Get out. Asap…
Sounds like he is doing nothing but controlling you. It’s time to leave, now!
You’re dealing with two narcissists…I know you’d hate to stay at a shelter, but it would be temporary while you got on your feet. I’d contact shelters, churches and if you have family you trust, possibly stay with them. He sounds like the type to lose it when he realizes you’re gone for good…every woman thinks her man wouldn’t do it, I was that woman myself, but take you and your children’s safety seriously and limit any contact with him and only see him with somebody you trust present and document every single thing including his verbal abuse and his mother’s disgusting behavior in case he tries to fight you in court.
You might need to reach out to all the above… you didn’t mention physical abuse but he seems abusive… and leaving an abusive relationship is the most dangerous. I would recommend an app like When Georgia Smiled » Aspire News App to start and women’s shelters… they will allow you to get on your feet with the children.
Bye Felisha! As soon as possible.
You definitely need to leave. Contact your local department of health and human services office and try to get emergency help. They might be able to refer you to a shelter or someplace safe if your parents house isnt an option. Also sometimes pediatrician’s offices can help you with information.
Spend most of your time visiting your dad in the hospital. Talk to your mom. Try to get your old job back. Do what you can to get out of the situation with him as soon as possible, take your kids, and move away. Get public assistance and find a subsidized home. Get on a list for housing right away,.
I know it’s hard to just leave and you’re scared of the outcome…for me, it’s living in poverty…living a life different than what I know. But, if you are being abused verbally, you have to think about the messages that is sending to your children right now and how you want them to be raised. This is the hardest decision of your life, and if you leave, you will miss him and the comfort of living the way you once did. You WILL need support and ALL OF THE HELP you can get, and will HAVE TO MAKE IT A POINT TO STAY AWAY FROM HIM! Girl, do you want your kids to grow up thinking that they can treat (or be treated) this way? No mother does. But this is a tough one. I know you can’t just leave. Make some calls. Call some shelters! Take other women’s advice. You only have to live this way if you choose to. I will be praying for you mama. 
This is why we have womens shelters! You need to get out before your SO gets violent! He’s a control freak! You’re not safe!
Time to put your big girl panties on. Leave and get a job
Get a job and a place then leave.
He’s cheating. Or has cheated
First thing I’d do, is start looking for a job.
I went thru this exact scenario with my ex and his mother… Leave. Leave now. Run as far away as you can… You’re kids deserve better. I hopped on a train to go a complete state away to get away from my dickhead. Good luck mom.
Contact a women’s shelter and they will help you to get out with the kids and won’t tell him anything and will help you get your life straightened out. Financially, housing, and job wise. Don’t look back at that a_ hole or his mom, they aren’t doing you any favors. His so called love is not worth the control freaks abuse. God be with you.
Go to social services and get help. Leave and get out now. Nobody deserved that treatment
Can admin block the spammer that’s in here?
Take your kids and leave your domestic violent relationship. Leave before he kills you and your kids
Apply for assistance and a case worker confidently , maybe they could get you housing while you get back on your feet. Have them contact you somewhere safe. Delete all this stuff so he doesn’t see it.
Please don’t put your children through this. It’s horrible! You have to protect them. You have been given lots of great ideas to chose from.
Can you live with ur mom till ur on ur feet. U need to get out. Sure I can get some kind of resistance
Find a local organization for abused women and children. Hopefully they can help you get out and on your feet. Not having a job doesn’t make you unfit. Government assistance can help you and also guide you to get a job and daycare. Help is out there, google local women’s shelters and find your way out of this. You deserve better.
There are programs that help abused spouses. (I know you didn’t mention anything about him hitting you but what he is doing is abusive and a narcissist trait). Maybe look into it. They can help you and the kids get out and most places help you get back on your feet.
You get into a shelter and don’t look back
Go to a woman’s shelter with all the kids and not having a job does not mean you’re unfit. Apply for all the help you can get to get you back on your feet and make him pay support for the one you have with him. What he is doing is a form of abuse, he is trying to break you down so you do only what he wants and this is not healthy for you or your children. Ask your mom or other family to help get you and the kids out of the house and don’t look back.
Been there ,they can put on a show till you go back ,each time got worse,I went up to the court house ,got a restraining order I had a safe place to go ,they can put you and your children in a shelter . Don’t let him break you down like that.
You need to apply for assistance…a lot of states will pop you to the top of the HUD list if you are in a womans shelter. It’s a shitty short term solution because I imagine a shelter wouldn’t be pleasant but it would only be a couple weeks and they would probably have an apartment or house for you and the kids to move into.
You definitely need to decide if you are willing to go through discomfort in order to make things better 
You quit a job when you first met because men were around. That was the first sign to run
That’s an abusive relationship get put before it gets worse
This abuse…get an order of protection and leave
If you left your old job on good enough terms, I’d reapply.
Check for womens shelters to get help
Run And Dont look Back!!!
It’s a shame u share a child with this guy bc his actions show he has no respect or love towards u or those kids. You need to arrange to go stay with friends, family or a shelter. This guy is a douche bag by the sounds of it.
This is what control looks like. Though need to do whatever it takes to leave. You and your children deserve better. If it’s hard to accept that fact for yourself, believe it for the sake of your children.
Reach out to a women’s shelter, social services, family… anyone that will listen. Get back to work so you have money.
I couldn’t allow my children to watch me being disrespected. Have you looked into shelters? Umom?
Dial 18007997233 its domestic violence. They will help you. This is mental abuse and its serious.
I can’t blame him for not wanting a new born around smokers, especially if they are not willing to put then out when the baby is present, i wouldn’t care if it was my parents. As far as your bf and his house, if what your saying is true, then i don’t understand what your dilemma is… if it’s that bad, then try to secure your self and kids and get the fk out. What’s your question?
Yikes. For this one I only have one word: leave.
He doesn’t deserve you. You don’t deserve to be treated that way.
What the hell. Get out of that relationship now. They can’t claim you unfit just because you don’t have a job lined up. You can get one.
I have no advice, but have to ask . Why in the hell is she pissing in a bucket or on a blanket ? Do you not have a working toilet ? He’s okay with his kids watching a grown ass woman pissing in a bucket or on the floor but not allowed to visit grandparents who smoke outside their home ? Wth is going on there
Following. Currently trying to leave my very abusive relationship
Anytime a man wants you to quit your job instead of giving you a choice had a reason and those reasons are normally that he himself is insecure, and wants you to cater to him if this does not go how he wants then he feels threatened you made a mistake and now you need to learn from it and leave there are many programs for women in your situation and since he works I suggest reaching out when he is not around and getting a plan in place
Get you a job, get on your feet, and then pack your babies and leave! He does not own you, you have a voice, be strong for your kids!
Run so fast and don’t look back. Will never change.
Get a job lined up. Move to your moms temporarily. Full? Sleep on air mattresses or pallets. You can make it happen if you actually want to.
Go to a battered women’s shelter if you need to, or a homeless shelter. They will help you get back on your feet and help you get childcare while you work. You will be able to find a job, since you had one before, so he can’t use that to scare you
Get out while you still can…sooner rather than later - you can’t see a way out right now…but there is one…a woman’s refuge would be the best idea from what you’ve said about your situation - stay strong , I hope things work out for you x
When you leave file a protective order and emergency custody
so get a job and move
Get out . Pack the bags,n the kids, n go
It’s not worth your mental health & not good for your babes to be around the negativity. Any other family/friends you could stay with until you get on your feet? I would work on getting a job and getting together what you need to take your kids and go. Even if it was third shift while the kids are asleep. It’s hard to end relationships like these but it sounds like that’s what you need to do. There are shelters in the area that will take you in with children as well.
I want you to reread everything you wrote out loud and you decide… I would definitely start looking for a job this is definitely the beginning of abuse next it will be physically and next will be death baby girl do what best for your kids and yourself
Sounds like he wants you under his control. He doesn’t want you working because he doesn’t want you to be able to leave him and support yourself and the kids. It’s a form of abuse.
He needs to grow the fuck up.
Umm, wtf if your daughter was going through what you’re going through?
You need to leave.
And focus on you and your kids.
Honey Find u a job 1st. He can’t stop u. Have his ass locked up if he trys to hurt you.
Work save the money then move let him know what u are doing if he cares he’ll change if he don’t call the police every time he does any thing to you. Get it documented and let the Family know u are getting the hec out. Best way . I done it.
There is a whole lot going on here. 1st; I could tell you this was going to happen because he told you to leave your job because there are guys around. 2nd; you need to find a job and get your kids out of that situation. You can’t keep depending on him to provide for you. 3rd; you said your moms house is full but have you asked her to help? 4th; his mom pisses in a bucket?!?!? Are you serious?!?! That alone would have me gone. Stop letting him control you. You are better than that
Make an exit plan. Call a battered woman’s shelter, they can give you the best advice. Get all of your important papers- birth certificates etc in one bag and stash in your car. Start putting some cash in that bag if you can. The emotional and verbal abuse is usually leads to physical violence.
I’d get the hell away from him as soon as possible. And not go back or look back. Got to be a miserable life even for those kids
Honey your in a DVR get out now before it gets worse
Google Narcissist
Then Leave
Runnnnnnnnnn. He will never change
Here is my advice. Get a friend to come pick you up go to the housing authority in you town tell them the situation she if they can help get you out of his house. Then go back to where you use to work and apply for a job. Check the paper internet for jobs. If unable to get a place from housing go to a women’s shelter the same day do not go back. You may even call the housing authority while taking your children to school. I would not stay there much longer. It sounds as if he could go from mental abuse to physical real quick. I also would get a Epo on him to keep him away. Good luck and May God Bless You and Your Children
First off when he encourages you to quit your job because other men would be there is absolutely ridiculous and he sounds like a complete controlling asshole … you should of left thennnnn
Go to a women’s shelter and embrace the suck there while on your new path to freedom and peace
I read half only and girl… Leave and don’t look back.
Call a womans shelter, they know how to handle situations like this, they will help you with day care (filing so the. Any can get in at zero to low cost) they will help get you a job, help with housing and help with filing for custody
See if there are any shelters you guys can go to…he is an abusive POS. Your kids deserve a well treated mama.
He’s a controlling narcissist and you need to pack your stuff and leave. The sooner the better, before he gets physically violent with you or the kids.
You need to leave him. I know it’ll be tough and really really suck. But this is just the beginning. You don’t want the rest of what’s to come. Get those children away from him and please do it soon
Emotional, mental, physical it’s all abuse. GET OUT while you can it will only GET worse, you can’t stay and hope it will get better. Go to a shelter, they have resources to help you and your family. God bless you. Praying for you and your family
Make a plan and get out, be serious in this and do everything you can. It will only get worse.
Do u have a lic? Time to take the keys and go find a job.
Time to get your kids into day care. Save money and get out.
Go get a loan and leave now.
I’m not sure why you think you need to stay. He doesn’t appreciate you and doesn’t respect or care about you. You don’t have to be with him and the name calling and acting like an idiot in front of the kids is going to get worse not better. You can live on your own and it will be ok. You don’t need a bf to be ok. You aren’t going to lose your kids because he’s an idiot. I’d rather live in a gd shelter than with that jackass. Your kids want a happy mom not someone being manipulated by a jerk. You all deserve better and you are stronger than you think. Talk to a shelter and see what your options are and don’t take him back.
talk to your local women’s domestic violence shelter if they can help you make a plan to leave safely get into a new place and make sure you can get a job and stable child care and everything else you may need not being allowed to see your dad while he’s in the hospital is absolutely not okay none of his other actions are okay and while they change for a few months they will always go back to their old abusive behaviors if he hasn’t hit you yet it’s just a matter of time
I’m a single mom of two soon to be three. I have no family. You can do this. Get a job. Find housing help the state offers. And move on. You deserve better and your kids deserve to see you happy.
I would take the kids-- and check out of that home and go elsewhere – go to the police they can help you find shelter.
It is only always going to get worse. Call a womans shelter. They can help you figure things out.
Pack your bags for you and your kids and run out the door. Go to family and never look back
Honey… RUN!!!
I’m sure your mom would make room for you & your children.
& he’d have to prove you unfit to the courts, not working doesn’t mean your unfit to raise your children.
He’s very controlling. Kick him to the curb. He is causing u to choose him or ur parents. This is not a healthy relationship
Leave .any way you can.life is short
Woman’s shelter get them babies put none of you deserve to be treated like that.
Leave now! I was in a 11yr long relationship like this thankfully without any kids and it ended with me in the hospital because he beat me so bad… he is a complete narcissist. I too was accuse of flirting, talking, cheating and turned out HE was the one doing these things. I couldnt even get in line at the store if it was a male cashier WTF? right yea leave while you can… 1st and foremost your kids DO NOT need to see their mom being treated this way or think it’s ok 2nd it will only get worse 3rd there is a reason they say the windshield is bigger than the rear view mirror… because where you’re going is far greater than where you’ve been.
Thankfully I’ve been out of that relationship am currently engaged to the best man in the world with 2 beautiful step daughters and my 1st son and a daughter on the way. Best decision I ever made. Sadly that psycho still drives past my grandmas house atleast once a week SMH.
Control control control get out and dont look back, if your older kids are sitting listening to him call you a stupid bitch he is teaching them , if they are boys he is teaching them how to treat women if they are girls he is teaching them it’s ok to be treated like crap, and this behaviour is just the thin end of the wedge there is no if about it he will become violent rather be on your own and struggle than live in that situation, if you dont want to do it for yourself take a look at your kids imagine them in 10/ 15 years time in the same situation, because if you dont teach them it’s not acceptable who will?
Damn…wonder how he treats the kids too. Especially the two that are not his.
Since the mother doesn’t do anything, have her start watching the kids while you work, regardless if your bf allows it. You are your own person, and not his property. If he persists on you staying home, then you need to make it clear to him that shit needs to change. But always make it clear to him that you have other options to pursue too, and that you’re not 100% dependent on him either. Take your power back! 
Why the hell did you get back with him and why are you staying with him? You can obviously see how shit he treats you so don’t allow yourself to go through it. I know it’s easier said then done but think about how you would want your boys to grow up and treat women. Use any resource you can and get away from that toxic asshole x
Anyway you could talk to your old boss and see about coming back?
You need a plan to get on your feet.
As for his mom peeing in odd areas of the house, is she disabled?
If you continue to let him boss you around then it’s gonna stay the same.
He can only control what you allow him to
He sounds worthless, you don’t need him. You are going to be happy and healthier without him. Don’t cave.
Get a job and get out asap
Leave him and his mama behind!! You DO NOT deserve to be treated like this! Arguing in front of kids changes who they are. Do it for them and most important, do it for you! You’ll be glad you did! Good luck and stay safe. 