I need advice about this situation with my best friend

My heart has been heavy and conflicted. Any advice or outside perspective will be sincerely appreciated. I have a rare and very cherished connection with my best friend. We have joked at times about settling down with eachother if all else in our respective love lives should fail. Her heart is so very beautiful in my eyes. Early in our 10 year friendship her journey took some very unfortunate and sad turns. She lost her 2 oldest children in an ugly custody battle, her adoring and doting father passed, followed by the birth of her third child all in less than year. Not long after she started spiraling into addiction with high powered opioids utimately leading to heroin. Maintaining the strength in our friendship at times was difficult but I knew just how beautiful the heart I discovered in her was initially. Despite the damage it took it was did not diminish that beauty from my perspective. If anyone has ever loved an addict you understand that no matter how much I wanted to help but couldn’t, as a result, distance grew at times but we never completely disconnected. A few years ago during a longer period of distance in our friendship, I lost my mom to a grossly overprescribed opioid overdose. I didn’t cope well; I experienced such severe depression. Eventually, I found my way out of the dark I allowed to swallow me. While discovering and learning who I had grown to be, I learned that my dear friend had conceived and delivered her fourth child. That child was luckily not affected by the addiction she kept during the pregnancy, but because of a fatal overdose, she luckily survived, her baby was taken from her womb early. Those circumstances aided her in gaining sobriety. We reunited and grew very close once again. I was ecstatic and proud. I did everything I could to aide in her sobriety and success. She created a home, she regained custody of her three oldest children and shared parenting with her fiance, the father of her youngest. Not long after celebrating a full clean year, her relationship sadly failed. Prior to and especially after the dissolution of her engagement, I would invest time, wisdom, and financials. Doing so wasn’t always easy, my time was stretched thin, I didn’t have all the answers, and my budget was heavily burdened. Much to my despair, she recently relapsed. I found out via her children reaching out to me after being coerced into hiding her habit for nearly a month with the hope she would be accountable to the promises she wasn’t keeping. I have always been very close and involved with her children our entire friendship. I am trusted and viewed by them as safe; they know I only want success for the rebuilding family. Initially, I attempted to be the voice of reason and logic, letting her know that it is okay that she made a mistake and that she has worked very hard and diligently, fought brutal battles, and won. I shared with her how inspiring her journey was and how obstacles happen, but I would be there to help her overcome what was in front of her now. We moved forward in hope, or rather her children and I did. She stayed behind with her drugs and the lifestyle that came with it, doing things I know she’d never do if not for being driven for her need to get high. One of the things she’s done was to entertain my child’s father to gain cigarettes and money. Her child informed me because it was felt to be inappropriate to do to me. I was very hurt, she knew of my struggles to gain any assistance which I only asked for when it was direly needed, there was no enforced support order. I was insulted that she would acquire assistance from him when not only did I personally give her so much without expectation of repayment, but I did so without any assistance from this poor excuse of a father who she was able to easily acquire what I typically couldn’t receive even if I begged. I felt it a slap to my face, but more importantly, a slap to my child’s. It has altered everything I feel and how I once viewed our friendship. She claims there was no I’ll will; it was innocent but admittedly thoughtless. I don’t believe any of it. I am now questioning what I mean to her, and I don’t want to help her anymore. I feel that she only wants me around for what I offer and because I continue to do for her children directly and try to keep CPS out of the situation as they would likely be separated as they were last time. Am I wrong for giving up now? I feel like I’m being held hostage by my love for her children and my desire to keep them safe and together. I don’t know what to do and am hurting too deeply to see this as clearly as I’d like to.

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Addiction is tough but for your own sanity you may need to keep her at a distance,I would help the children if possible but let her know how you feel and where you stand…

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It’s sad when you try and try for somebody and then they take it too far and make u feel like shit, You have to put your mental health first because no body else will
Somtimes cutting ties is the best option for all

Are you in a position to foster her children? It will make sure they are safe and together, but you wouldnt be giving her anything anymore. Idk if it’s an option for you, but maybe talk to cps and find out if you could take that route.

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It honestly sounds like you need to step back. Sure maybe still be tree for the kids but it sounds like you’ve done more then you ever needed to for her. I had friend alot like her she walk all.over me day and night but I was always there for her kids and her mom. I let it go on too long let her take advantage of.me way too.many times. Let her humiliate me more times then I could count. It took me too long I waisted too much time when all she cared about was her selfish needs.

I let go of a 30 + year friendship bc of addiction.
It does not make you the bad person or the bad friend. You have to look out for you and yours first.
I was repeatedly used over and over again.
We did not have a two way friendship. We had a me do everything friendship.
I say let go.
I know you think by helping here and there with her kids is helping the kids in the long run.
It’s not.
I’m sure you dont want them to be taken away from her but what is best for the kids here?

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Sounds like you are definitely a GOOD friend. I think her children are lucky to have you in their lives. I can certainly understand your disappointment and hurt for what she has done, but I think her kids need you. While you may be done with her, hang in there for those kids. You may be the only constant they have.

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Don’t lose yourself for someone who is hellbent to lose themself…

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you’re allowing her to keep you in a toxic relationship . Not sure what you mean by “entertained your husband”, but if that’s what I think it is, it’s time to let him go too. You’re enabling. Hit a narcotics anon meeting yourself and get put in touch with their equivalent of al anon.

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You should consider being a writer or at least a blogger :yellow_heart::yellow_heart::yellow_heart:

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Are you financially able to take in the children? I know its hard to cut someone off when addiction takes over. I have my sisters 3 kids. You will need to cut her out your life. But also let her know when she straightens up you will be there for her. Wish you and the kiddos best of luck.

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I also have a close friend who has recently entered the drug world. At the age of 47!! She is a mother of 3 adult girls and 5 grandchildren. Of course these adult girls of hers are close to me…we’ve been friends from the ages of 16&20 as well as her husband is my cousin. She has left her husband, still involved (barely) in her kids/grandkids lives, and I only see her occasionally. Anyway… What I’m getting at is I somewhat understand what you’re going through…her girls come to me a lot…they’ve lost their mom basically and I’m filling the void here & there. I love them all very much, the grandkids too. I will be there for them BUT have decided to steer clear of my friend as much as possible. I have never done drugs and I don’t want it around me or my home. I have kids & grandkids myself!
All I can say to you is to not get involved anymore. There comes a point where you KNOW you can’t help the addict. Ultimately it’s up to them! Don’t enable her!!
As for the kids…do whatever you have to do to ensure their safety. THAT IS ALL YOU SHOULD BE CONCERNED ABOUT. Sorry but I have absolutely no sympathy for a mother, or father, that would rather be a loser drug addict than the parent their children deserve.

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Run & take & foster those kids

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I have learned that sometimes it’s best for us to love people at arms length or at a distance… Hope you can find some clarity

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There are two demons I don’t fuck with is an alcoholic and addiction!!! They don’t care about no one… that person needs to want to for themselves to get out of that hell. Take care of you and her children if you can and leave her to her hell… leave it to god, cause you nor her children nor anyone can’t fix what she doesn’t!!!

You have a good heart. I think by bring there non stop you are enabling her. Distance yourself a bit… be there for the children as much as you can… but shes gotta want to do this.

Ir sounds like you have been very patient and a great friend. Now it is time to do the hard part of being her friend …helping her kids before her. Trust me, been there, if they dint feel bad from the beginning they won’t feel bad. Sine ppl r fine with betrayal and she has betrayed your friendship. I assume this isn’t the first time her addiction has caused you pain. It is ok to cut off an gangrenous limb to save yourself!

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This was actually the saddest thing to read and well written which is rare on this page. No you aren’t wrong. You’ve been there through so much and been that hand. But sometimes enough is enough. I’m sad for her children :sweat:

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She is an addict…all that matters is the drug. Let her relatives or CPS take care of the children, dump your significant other and get out now because you are being used…addicts use…
Friendships do not matter…the drugs do.

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I personally would work with CPS to get guardianship of the children & tell her to get her sobriety back or consider the friendship a thing of the past.

I would also ditch the baby daddy because if he is doing things with her you can bet there are others who are put before your child as well.

Honestly no matter how hard it is the focus should be on YOU & the kids only. Let the irresponsible adults twist in the wind until they choose a better life for themselves & the kids.

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She is an addict that is a disease tell her to go to rehab not for you but for her and her children and give you temperary guardianship so children can stay with you and together

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No ur not wrong in ur decision. Cut her out of ur life. She needs to help herself.

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Take the children dump her.

My partner started using meth when we had been together for 4 years behind my back when I caught him I hit him and even throw a drill at him I was heart broken, I had no where to go so I was stuck and before I knew it it was to late, in 2013 I had my first successful pregnancy and had our son (8 little angels and was told I’d never carry full term) when I fell pregnant he got clean but when he was 2 months old he relapsed he was gone for 2 weeks before he was tracked down (we where living with his parents) he went to meetings and was waiting to get into rehab and was doing really really for a few months when it happened again and then again, then I had our first daughter in 2015 for 7 months then he was made redundant and couldn’t find work anywhere after 9 months it started again, in 2017 I fell pregnant again and i just cried, he asked me if I didn’t want the baby, I said of course I want my baby but I don’t know if baby will make it because of everything that’s going on, he got clean got some cash work a few days a week then in July the day before his 29th birthday his Idol took their life and his world collapsed he fought so hard to get out of it and he finally did earlier this year and has made it. It is a long hard battle and some people don’t make it out but I think those that are loved and have some one there for them no matter what do. And for anyone wondering part of the reason I stayed is the fact he stopped me commiting suicide several times when I was 16

As a friend you gotta take a step back and look at what is REALLY helping her and what is simply enabling her at this point. Addicts will do ANYTHING for a fix- doesn’t matter who they hurt. She will have to hit rock bottom (sounds like she’s been there before) before she’ll be willing to admit that she needs help. You can’t want it enough for her.
Until then- get CPS involved. Try to gain guardianship or temporary custody of the kids. Be prepared to sign a form saying that you will not allow them to be alone with their mother (a friend had to do this). If they don’t allow the kids to stay with you but place them in another home, take comfort in knowing that they won’t be exposed to the lifestyle that she’s currently living.

As for yourself: Having a friend lost in addiction isn’t easy, especially when it is one of your closest friends. Remember that addiction chemically alters the brain. Chances are that she wouldn’t do any of this as a sober person. I’m not, by any means, justifying her actions. I just want you to know that the person you once knew and loved is gone, and she may not ever return. Even if she sobers up there is a chance that she becomes someone different than the person you once knew. Sending hugs to you.

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You are being used she is in an addict mindset right now so nothing else matters. Somebody needs to intervene and help these children. That’s terrible. :frowning: You are a great writer btw.

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Her children aren’t even important enough to her to stop so how do you think you fit in there with her addiction… Her addiction is the only thing that matters to her. She’s sick obviously but nobody can make her want to be sober and live a good life for her children except for her.

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As the mother if an addict. Stop assisting her, stop. Do not aid her in anyway unless she calls and says I want to go to rehab and you pick her up and take her. Call CPS. Do NOT make her life easy for her

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Try to get her to give you guardianship of the children so that you know they are safe. Then she can spiral or decide to clean up and stay clean. But more importantly the kids can stay together and be in a loving home.

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Please look into Nar-anon it will help you so much.

Look into alanon to get help in knowing what to do. You cannot do enough for her because she has no real desire to quit. She totally has no feelings for you shown by her stealing your baby’s father. Do what you can for the children, but you need to take care of yourself first.

I would call cps… Shes on heroin with her kids. They dont need to be the ones to find her needles or worse… Her dead body. Call cps and stop being so kind to her. Obviously she doesnt feel the same way about you as you do for her. :worried:

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#10yrsClean You’re enabling her delusion that everything will be Ok. If you care for her children you know this isn’t safe for them or their futures. And every relationship is a 2 way street, yours is currently a one way. It’s Ok to be done (((HUGS)))

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You’re a good person. Effffff her.

Stay away. Some ppl dont deserve chances and get cps involved

Drugs can destroy even the most beautiful heart. Your compassion is endearing but you are also enabling her bad behavior. Tell her you will support her recovery but you can no longer participate in her addiction. I’m sorry you got burned by her. Drugs bring out the worst in people. Her kids deserve better.

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The only thing that needs to happens is for her children to be in a safe place away from her. This is not an environment for children to be around and watch.

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This is a horrible situation and there is no easy way out. My sister was this person. We always have in bc of her children. Well, 4 years ago we cut her off and they were cooking and smoking meth in a fifth wheel with our niece and nephew present. CPS got involved bc the 4 year old was punched in the face by his bio dad. We now have full custody of our niece and nephew. Bio mom comes around once a year and still chooses drugs and men over the kids. We don’t have a happy ending yet bc the kids have been put in horrific situations. Therapy helps and we have been going for 4 years now. Good luck, I will definitely keep you in my thoughts and prayers bc it’s a difficult situation. Keep your head up though bc you have been an amazing friend and mentor to those kids. Let her go…

Maybe you could possibly be granted custody your pretty much mom any way I would start out looking into that what she needs is serious rehab and honestly if she wasn’t high she probably would never do such a thing but addiction’s are a slave owner they drag you along until you have nothing

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Children first and guardianship. Your friend is not the same on drugs or whatever she is using. Your child’s father is giving her money? For no reason? Sounds iffy to me. Cigs is okay but money is not. Loans or gifts? Look after your friend’s kids though. Depending on age they can make a choice otherwise CPS may step in. Your friend should sign over guardianship to you and she can do whatever but you can take care of them. I am assuming you can.

Get the kids away from her. The only thing she sees and loves now is her next fix.

See if you can get her to have her tubes tied, get an IUD or Norplant so she does not get pregnant again.

Let her go. The “her” you knew is already gone. Be prepared for her death. I’m sorry. She has chosen drugs again and again over recovery, over her children & over you.

Join Narc-Anon or another group for friends & family of addicts. She is no longer your friend. Let her go. But the kids can still be saved if they get a lot of therapy. They are lucky to have you in their lives.

You are too nice. I’d get a court date with your baby daddy & make them garnish his wages for child support. Take any evidence that he accepted when your “friend” prostituted herself for drugs.

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I would talk her into signing her children over to you. She can’t even quit for her own children. I would tell her that her kids deserve to be raised in a good environment, and you can give them that. I would tell her you love her and you hope and pray she gets better, but you feel that for the well being of her children you think it’s best that she signs them over to you before they get taken away. Tell her she can come see them anytime that way she agrees to signing them over to you. Those kids need to be somewhere they are loved and safe. You have to want to take on that responsibility though. They would then be your children, and you could make decisions on how much contact they had with her judging by her addiction. Once a person has children those children should come first, before anything else in their life. You are the Mother figure in their lives. :heart: Good Luck! It’s a terrible situation, but drugs eventually take everything including their souls. I have a nephew, and drugs completely stole his heart and soul. :sob:

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For the love and safety of the children I’d have to call CPS. Imagine if they got hold of the heroin or if something happened to them because of her addiction, you would feel awful wouldn’t you as you knew her addiction but didnt tell anyone. She is not safe to be around her children

You’ve looked past every other shitty thing your “friend” did because of her addiction but this 1 thing surprised you? Come on, really though? Was it shitty… of course but right above you say yourself she does things you know she wouldn’t do if not for the drugs. I WOULD MOST DEFINITELY BE WEARY OF HER WHILE SHE’S IN ACTIVE ADDICTION!:100::speaking_head: You cannot trust us when we’re using​:woman_shrugging: It’s just a fact. But what you’re talking about here isn’t “helping” or benefiting her or her kids in any way! You’re ENABLING HER to continue the same bullshit behaviors. You know better, and at this point, she does as well and she knows HOW to achieve sobriety if she wants it she just obviously doesn’t want it right now. Most likely because you and God knows who else are still bailing her out and saving her. And you allowing her to mess up her kids lives is not you showing you love them!:100: Our mother was an addict and we truly feared being split up(because she instilled that and sexual assault in foster care into us from a young age) and I resent MOST IF NOT ALL family and friends that knew exactly what was going on but continued to deflect and enable our mother and in turn fuck up my 3 sisters and i’s lives​:face_with_symbols_over_mouth: The adults around us were more worried about tiptoeing around the addict than the safety of the kids she kept choosing to bring into the world and I cannot empathize there. I in turn ended up on the same stupid fucking road and wasted years and years of my life but I am now 5 years sober this new year’s! But all 3 of my sisters are addicts now as well and it fucking sucks fr! 2 are using right now and they each have 2 kids of their own now so continuing the same bullshit generational curses and our baby sister is being held by the feds right now, so technically sober but it’s pretty obvious from her attitude that won’t last long once freed and she also has a child, a beautiful son, whom she refused to even consider aborting but then used heroin AND smoked crack all 9 months and that poor baby is in a foster home(thank God for those ppl and I do often) I believe he’s on his 3rd surgery in his short year of life just trying to make him POSSIBLY MOBILE because at this point he’ll never walk and mentally we don’t even know how bad this is yet​:sob: So don’t enable the addict and protect those babies!

Speak to a lawyer. Find out what you can do to foster/take custody of the kids once CPS is notified. I’m guessing since the older 2 have a father that used to have custody and the youngest also has an involved father, that’s what you mean by separated? Perhaps you can speak to the fathers about allowing you one weekend a month in your home where they can all be together? If they love their kids, they’d want them to have access to their siblings. Either way, enabling her to have her children in her present state is disgusting. Definitely speak to someone first, though, get a good idea of what will happen to the kids and what you can do to control that (if anything). They don’t like to separate siblings if they don’t have to, but if they have willing fathers, that may change things.

Her children need to be away from her.

Honey you already know the answer. It’s just hard to do. It’s not your responsibility to fix her it’s hers. Think of the damage seeing her and hiding her secrets had on those children. Don’t let them carry adult problems on their childish shoulders.

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I know this is hard but please remember that addicts do not think rationally…shes not intending to hurt you.her addiction is making her do whatever she needs to do to aquire the things she needs. If she was in her rite mind she would not have done this. however until she is clean she will continue to do things that are going to hurt everyone bc that is just how it works its not personal although im sure you feel it is :frowning: but you should distance yourself until she gets better again bc unfortunately the people closest are the ones who get hurt the most and when the addicts get clean we are still left holding all that hurt and resentment so its probably better to not give her the chance to cause any more

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U need to walk away as hard as it is she is a addict they use and take advantage of who ever they can

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Wow
I tried to write something comforting supportive and helpful but reading this just made me sad.
What a wonderful friend you’ve been
I’d suggest not walking away from her children sounds like you’ve got a relationship with them and it’s not anything wrong that they’ve done so I think they would be devastated.
Bloody drugs…ruins so many Beautiful People !!!

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As a foster parent I urge you, As hard as it will be to stop enabling this. Her children deserve a safe, loving and learning environment, and while I have no doubt that she loves her children, she is not providing a safe or stable life for them. It is not fair for the children, for you and it is not helping this mother.

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Drop that addict like a hot rock. It’s okay, she’s a big girl, she can fend for herself.

As bad as it sounds, addicts thrive on using others to enable their needs, you have to let go, her kids need love, guidance, not an environment like that, she has to want to quit and no amount of love by anyone will do it but their own desire to do so, sad situation

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She is an addict and nothing repeat nothing means more to her than her drugs, you need to save her kids and yourself the support you are giving is enabling her, she needs to hit rock bottom and then fix herself you cant fix her, its time to walk away good luck xxx

The more you help the more you enable her to use. You are not doing anyone any favors. If you are concerned about the children being in foster care and you are able, you can request for the children to be put into your care. As for the mother, an addict will continue to spiral until they hit rock bottom and will drag anyone she can with her. As a child of an addict let me assure you, you are not doing the children any favors by helping hide her relapse.

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You have got to be kidding. I don’t believe this for one minute.

Some very brave people have spoken, are you ready to listen? Your options are limited, both got your sanity, and the children’s. What is happening to her kids lives is called parental neglect and it can cause more damage than you can imagine. Go to your dept. Of human services and offer to take care of the kids while she lets herself die. She is not the same person you used to know, keep yourself,and hopefully the kids,safe. Good luck.

If this was a man you were dating, you would probably not do half of that to make it work because it’s not right. She is staying friends with you because she knows you will bail her out of all the bad choices she makes. She knows she won’t have to be accountable because you will pick up the pieces.
Do your own little family a favor and get a support order so that there can be a slight relief of stress on you to care for them. Some people are not meant to be in our life journey forever.

There comes a time when enough is enough. I think you have arrived. Maybe CPS will allow you to care for the children.

Sometimes you just have to STOP! You are there. So STOP! Don’t keep thinking…STOP! Separate yourself and live your life! Some things in life are painful. That’s just a fact. Love her from afar.

I couldn’t not share this. It was the very next post after this one, like a sign. Best of luck to you and your friend. Hand it over to God!! :pray::pray::pray:

Only you know when it’s the right time to give up in regards to your friendship. I can only imagine how difficult her experiences have been, and how difficult her life has been but if she can’t respect her best friend enough to appreciate boundaries then what more could she do behind your back? In regards to the children, as much as you want to keep them safe you need to think of how this could be affecting them psychologically being in this situation c

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She is toxic and an addict and she will not change as long as you’re enabling her. I understand your feelings for the children, but they have no stability with her and may honestly be better off in someone else’s care. She needs to hit rock bottom by herself and decide on her own to get help. I had an ex husband like this and also a sister. You will stay on a never ending rollercoaster if you continue this relationship.

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Call CPS and try to gain custody… there is no excuse for her doing that to her children and you! At this point you are just enabling her

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Everyone has their limit and there’s pretty much nothing an addict won’t do to get high. You can’t expect loyalty from her unfortunately, you won’t get until she is well again.

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You moved forward and she chose to stay behind, she either catches up or stays behind. Life happens and it’s ok to change your plans, especially when betrayal is added. Don’t be another loved one that gets tormented and abuse by an addict, they need to help themselves. Especially for ur baby’s peace.

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Ooft that’s a hard one but I think there comes a time when enough is enough. Sometimes what an addict actually needs.
Tbh, I’d cut ties but at the same time be very clear that u will be there for the children’s sake solely and if she cares for them, she will have to accept that, but that otherwise, she has ruined the friendship.
Depending on age of kids, I’d also take time seoeratqey with them to tell them that no matter what happens, your door will always be open to them.

Sometimes we have to put ourselves first, good luck x

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It isn’t wrong to give up you’ve been through a lot and did a lot for her and them

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Yikes. Leave that mess

Sometimes the only thing to do is walk away.

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Help the children as much as you possibly can and you cut ties with her unfortunately in active addiction it’s like that person is dead they really cant feel their emotions and likely will only hang around because their is something to be gained from you only she can save herself which is sad but you have to save yourself from her destruction

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You have kids of your own and a family to protect. She’s crossed a major line. Say a prayer for her and move on.

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Addicts have no loyalties, not even to their own children. Those children need to be kept safe, physically and emotionally and you can’t do that 24/7. I think you are obligated to report what you know. And for your own sanity you need to cut ties with your ‘friend’.

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Kick that dope hoe to the curb, she is a user and you are enabling her.

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Most people under that kind of strain don’t mean it personally. They can’t see past the need to what their actions do to others. Only you can decide how much you’re willing to take, I just wanted to bring that part to your attention.

I would turn my back on her she’s proving she can’t change but as for the children have you thought about them living with you permanently

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You are an enabler for her because she knows she has you. Tough love is needed here

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If I were you I would say enough is enough and let her fend for herself from now on. The fact she went to your child’s father the way she did would be the end of our friendship. If you are willing to take her children in contact CPS and work with them to remove the children from her home. It sounds like she’s had plenty of chances to straighten her life around and has chosen not to. There’s no reason her kids have to suffer and deal with that kind of lifestyle.

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I am going through something very similar. I, too, had a friend who is an alcoholic and a drug addict. I just recently finally gave up on the friendship. The truth is an addict and alcoholic cannot be a true friend to you. Addicts are very selfish and driven by their addiction. You need to be true to yourself and let the friendship go. If the children are in danger of being neglected or abused you need to alert CPS. You are doing those kids no favors keeping quiet about it.

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Sadly when your in an addiction spiral all you think about is drugs. Your brain changes and sometimes never goes back, that person gets lost forever. I’d distance myself if I were you and be their for her kids as much as you can without enabling.

Sometimes theres only so much you can do, especially when their addiction drives them to hurt you personally. She is taking you for granted. Be there for her kids but you cannot enable her any more, and you need to cut yourself off from her.

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That just seems like one big fat burden. You are wasting your time. Call the cops! Those children don’t deserve a horrible life like that just cause their mom chooses drugs over them.

I couldn’t read all of that. Kids wouldn’t let me but whatever is going on, I hope it gets better and works out.

For your own reasons you need to distance yourself from her she should have respected you and not even entertain him because of what you went through and she saw it and decided her needs were more important so move on and leave her to learn the hard way

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Hi I would walk away and this is the drugs with her she is not the same friend you had before if you could Hall her children it would be so kind you should get a restraining order so she can’t see her kids until she has past drug test for a you they trust you what do they have with out you

Sounds like you already know what you need to do. Sadly you can’t save people from themselves, they have to do that work themselves.

Perhaps you should try to get guardianship over the kids… And put her in rehab. Keep her in counseling. She doesnt deserve someone like you however youre going to hurt if you dont know whats happening to those kids. Its not your responsibility but youre already in deep. That being said… As this is a lot… You too should seek counseling so as to not spiral yourself out of control with all this overwhelming stuff going on.

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Don’t be her enabler. Move on.

She is using you. She knows you won’t let the kids suffer and she’s only concerned with her own needs. It’s time to break ties and let her hit her rock bottom. Maybe you can offer to keep the kids through CPS. Otherwise they are probably better off with their fathers. They don’t deserve to watch this or be exposed to the drugs and the lifestyle addicts lead. This person she has become is not your friend. Stop enabling her and let her face the consequences.

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See if there’s a way you can temp foster the kids if you have the means and space to do so then turn her in to authorities.

Know when to hold them and fold them

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I’m so sorry. It’s time to let her fall. Is the childrens father able to take them? Can you take them on temp custody? These kids need out and away from this.

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I agree with the comments above! Move on you did your best. It’s time to let go of that toxic friendship! And by the way you are amazing and a beautiful human being! :heart:

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Wow. First of all, you are a wonderful human being. I dont know yet how to counsel you. If there’s a way you could help the kids, I’d say do it. Whatever you decide though, no one can judge you. You’ve given alot

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There is nothing wrong with wanting to help your friends but there comes a time when you need to say “sorry ive done all i can now i need to step back to save my mental health”
I think its time to step back… dont leave her high and dry place calls to organizations that are better equipped to help her and let them take over. If she doesnt let them then she doesn’t want the help just yet but thats not on you
You have done all you can.

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You need to look out for yourself Cut ties before it puts you on the wrong path x