I Need Advice on How to Deal With My Husband’s Brother’s Wife

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"I stopped talking to her because all she does is belittle my husband and me every time something doesn’t go her way. We mostly ignore her because all her grievances are either petty or assumed. The last time I talked to her, she sent a message accusing my husband and I of talking about her and her daughter and claimed that she could hear us talking (we live in a duplex so we’re neighbors). But the thing was, we weren’t at home at that time. So when I tried telling her that we were not home, She changed the topic, called me names and told me to go “eff myself”. I didn’t wanna put up with it so I blocked her number. My husband and I then asked her husband if we could have a serious talk about her attitude when he got back home and he agreed (he was on a business trip). When he returned two days later, I received a message from him saying they couldn’t talk because she apparently had a “family tragedy”. So since then, we have just basically ignored each other. After my husband told her husband about her attitude, all he had to say was “just ignore her”. I don’t know, I really think she has an insecurity issue."

RELATED: Q&A: Am I Wrong For Cutting Out My Sister In Law?


The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"You do like your bil said, ignore her. If she has another tantrum, just shrug it off like she’s a toddler. Maybe she’ll get the picture. I don’t talk to one of my sister in laws either, she’s just a miserable person and I don’t need that in my life, and my husband agrees. He spends time with his brother, I just don’t go! Lol"

"That is not insecurity issues it’s just toxic behavior. She’s trying to isolate her husband so she can abuse him. He doesn’t see it because love is blind. Continue to talk to him so when everything falls apart he knows he has support. Yes, men are abused too. He probably is but does not admit to it."

"Treat her like a stranger whose opinion you don’t care about. If you’re worried she will tell other family members something horrible, they know how she is too. So just ignore it."

"First off, I’d move away from them and not be her neighbor anymore."

"Well… If you ever talk to her on the phone again and she starts going off… Hang up on her. If she blows up and accuses you of hanging up on her tell her you didn’t, the phone must’ve disconnected from her yelling… And then hang up again"

"Kind of hard to distance yourself from someone you share a house with. I would keep it short and civil. Say nothing more than necessary to her and let her figure out her stuff. The neighbor on the other side of my bedroom wall has been very difficult and I have resorted to using white noise machines near her walls just to keep her from calling the cops regarding my dog doing one bark every morning. Maybe she was embarrassed that she thought she heard voices talking badly about her?"

"Just because someone is family doesn’t mean you have to have them in your life… narcissistic behavior is one of the main issues with people in families and the reason why people end up getting cut off from other family members. Ignore her. If you’re somewhere you cant avoid being around her just say hi, that’s it and leave it at that. They can’t say you were rude and belittling if you just say hi and leave it alone."

"So she has a insecure problem. Ignore her. Plain & simple"

"Try killing her with kindness or do what everyone else is suggesting and cut her completely off. Block and lock."

"Looks like the husband knows exactly how his wife is. Just continue to ignore"

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