We have been together for 4 years, married less than a year. we have an almost 2 year old daughter. he works about 35 hours a week and i work about 60. we try to take “us time” but it normally is just us going shopping or out to eat. we don’t exactly have fun anymore. we don’t talk like we used too. i guess i’m just wanting to know what other people have done to get that spark back in their relationship.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I need advice on how to get the spark back with my husband
Date nights are sooo important! It may be difficult but it’s some thing that you definitely have to make time for. Even if it’s just renting a movie and watching it at home.
If you have someone you trust to keep your daughter for a weekend, take a weekend getaway. Even if it’s just staying at a hotel in town. Make sure that weekend is focused solely on you guys.
Do things that you used to do again, things that have been put off because of work or your daughter.
Finding and appericating each others love languages is one way to respark. Date nights, quality time before bed (we usually sit without out phones, have a chat, cuddle watch a movie). I know it can be hard! And there can be “boring” phases, try to remember why you do it. Why you stick it out everyday with him, and him with you. Sometimes its hard life gets in the way. We’ve been doin it for 9 years 3 years married.
Try something new… make a point to go out on a date every month. Me and my husband had date night tonight. We went and did tequila flights and gambled a little. I look forward to our dates every month. On our anniversarys’ month we have two dates. We’ve gone go-kart racing before and ax throwing. He took me to see the Beach Boys for my birthday. But my favorite date ever was going to get cookies and going to the beach at night.
We work a lot and life is a lot, but get a baby sitter and go out or have a house date when the baby goes to bed. People stop dating their spouses after they have kids and its still so important.
Change your routine do different things get a sitter 1 night a week make time for yourself as a couple also
We would take Sunday morning showers together. Always hold hands in the car. Put the kids to bed early and watch our shows or movies together in bed. After you go shopping stop for ice cream. Most “fun” was with our kids though too. Plan a vacation, something to look forward to.
Drop kids off with a sitter 4 the night, buy something raunchy/sexy together, and then have a good date night. Do that atleast once a month.
Maybe try relationship based question cards that can help to start some deep, meaningful conversations if your husband is game to try them.
Even after 8 years with my significant other we still play 21 questions, never have I ever and this or that.
You have to go back and remember what made you to fall for each other. Go do some of those things you used to do. Going shopping and watching a movie isn’t exciting. Maybe get a sitter and go act like single people maybe you go into the bar dress very sexy then your man comes in and sits next to you and you act like you are just meeting each other then go from there. Maybe do a scavenger hunt leaving clues around your town and he ends up at a place of your choice and do what you do.
Are you having sex? If not try to more
Every day stop for a minute and tell each other 3 things you love about them. Figure out each other’s love language, if it’s touch try to cuddle whomever more. If it’s words. Write love notes. Shoot, write love notes anyway and put them in your lunches for work to find at lunch (if y’all make lunches) I make my husbands so I hide some notes sometimes. If you go out on a date go somewhere you haven’t been before. Also try this. And make sure you make time for each other. Doesn’t even need to be sexually, watch a movie together, fold the laundry together, do the dishes together (one wash, one dry) just find something at least one day a week to do together and talk and listen to each other. Show your appreciation
Never had any problems until we got cell phones other half is on the cell phone 95% of the time
Do sweet things for him and hope he gets the hint.
Slap that ass every time he walks by and then tell him to meet you in the bathroom for a quickie…and when you slap that ass grab it, lol, guys love that shit
Oof this happened to us around year 7, we did one simple thing. Made each other hug 4x a day. Sounds stupid but it works. The hugs force you to get close. Soon you’ll be craving the hugs and closeness, and thats when you know you’re reconnecting.
For 1 you work 60 hours , when does that leave time for you? or your relationship? But it’s the little things , the note in your lunch , the dinner ready when you get home , but have to make a date night also , even if it’s ones a week or once a month, to reconnect, and so something fun not just dinner out. We go on a walk , kayak at the beach or Lake, go to a October fest , just something fun together. And get a sitter once in a while . Been marred 20 years , together 23 so it’s not always easy but just have to keep moving forward.and talk about life , and your future
We play card games late at night when the kids go to sleep. It’s romantic in a weird goofy way. Inexpensive too. It doesn’t always have to be about sex, sometimes just having fun is key.
If you can financially afford it, one of you or both work less hours. Utilize PTO if you have it. Make time for yourselves.
Why do you work double the hours your husband does?
It’s hard when you work so much. We are in a similar situation only we get weekends together. So we usually stay up late after kiddo falls asleep to do things we enjoy, usually talking and playing video games for us.
Both take time off work, and go away. If you have time to go out, and eat use that time to make love then go eat in the kitchen