Not sure which one. Maybe both. My husband and I have been together 11 years and married for seven. We have two beautiful kids together. The last year or so he has really been disrespectful towards me( verbally and mentally abusive). He drinks a lot… He’s barely ever home and when he is he just talks down to me. Forgive me if this is too much… but he always asks for sex from me. I do do it sometimes. But even when I do it’s never enough. It’s not that I’m not attracted to my husband, because I am. I’m just not attracted to the way he treats me. I’m trying really hard to stay strong for the kids but I’m crumbling here. I’m just feeling empty I guess and I don’t know where to go from here. I asked him to go to therapy but he claims he doesn’t believe in therapy.
You need to go bye bye see ya 
I lived like this for years an my husband was an drug addict so it was the drugs making him that way an now he is sober an is so good to me. I think it’s the alcohol he is drinking so I say if he will stop drinking for u then it will get better u need to tell him its either u an the kids or the alcohol
You need to leave before he ends up killing you. Many therapists have said if a man chokes you he will eventually kill you so don’t let it happen
You go to counseling to realize why you and your kids deserve better.
Current going through this. 18 years 3 kids. My husband is a sever alcoholic and won’t stop. Now I’m figuring it out alone once again. It’s a hard one. This time I’m seeking counseling and helping me set healthy boundaries. The alcohol makes someone completely different and the relapse are even worse.
I would first say no to having sex. If you’re afraid of his reaction then he’s definitely just using you. You want to be a door mat? That’s not a life, make a plan. If he is violent call police ask for help. My friend left, out if state they’re helping her get a new start. Don’t stay, there’s options.
If hes not willing to fix it not much u can do but leave for ur own mental health.
something is going on with him. He surely does need therapy. Can you live this way the rest of your life? Think about it. You are going to have to do something or you are going to fall apart.
Someone close to me went to Al Anon and it helped them cope with their alcoholic spouse.
Leave him. If he wants you and his kids he needs to prove it. You will hurt your kids if you stay
You are a maid, nanny and bed warmer. What’s not to like ? He treats you like this ?? Time for counseling or a Lawyer
If you won’t leave for you, do it for your children. Would you allow a stranger to talk badly in front of your children? Would you subject them to seeing that kind of verbal abuse from somebody else? Pretty sure the answer is no… so don’t let them see it from your husband. Stay strong, and just remember your children see more than you think.
Narcissists never see their own faults with or without therapy…
Stay and remain in this cycle…which will escalate…
Or realise that you are worth your weight in gold and pack his bags…
Goodluck either way xxx
It’s not staying strong for the kids when they can see the changes in your relationship and feel your unhappiness, not to mention the damage it’s doing THEM to hear him talk to you & treat you badly. You’re not helping your kids by having them in that environment, you’re hurting them. Leave, take the kids,and start a happy life for you that doesn’t include all that negativity.
Ask him if he believes another women would put up with his shit
If you are crumbling, and your kids are seeing this situation what do you think is happening to them, and what it’s teaching them on how they should act and be treated…IT AINT ABOUT YOU…YOUR KIDS ARE YOR PRIORITY NOW!!!
He sounds like a sex addict if he is saying that it’s not enough… for me that sounds bad like he needs more and you aren’t enough. Remember nobody deserves to be treated as though that’s all your there for when he wants you. He doesn’t want to go to therapy that’s probably why he’s saying that.
If he cared two craps he would go to therapy. My dear….he doesn’t give 2 craps. Your kids are learning bad behavior watching your husband. It is time to live yourself and then more.
You. Do. Not. Need. To. Stay. With. Him. For. The. Sake. Of. Your. Kids!! Please understand this 
It sounds like he has a sexual addiction as well as a alcohol addiction. And he’s probably using sex for power/control over you. Idk but if it were me, I’d insist he start going to therapy and addiction groups, or i would leave. Its not going to get better if something doesn’t change. Im sorry for what you must be going through…
He’s a drunk you won’t know if he’s happy sad angry charming it’s mood swings he needs AA they will help him they will get through to him your children will have problems in the future and have to go to children of alcoholics meetings
Ask him if he believes in DIVORCE because that is exactly where it’s headed if he doesn’t get help. I too was with my husband for 12 years and had the same problem with his drinking and acting stupid… Well I got tired of it,
I felt this way as well…stay so the kids have both parents in their lives…but I had to get out of that relationship…it was toxic for me and the kids…start packing your stuff and leave this man for the sake of you and your kids happiness…
My stepdad was a bad drunk he’s 5 years sober now but he chose to get help because my mom put her foot down and said it’s either you get help or something or we’re done and his birthday came around I want to say he had been drinking but I can’t remember 100% but he looked at my mom in front of us and said I want help he was ready and they took him either that night or later in the week to an out of state place and he was there for a month and a week I think and here we are 5 years later he hadn’t touched any beer vodka nothing we are so proud of him. My point to saying this is someone has to want help for themselves you can’t force it on them they have to want the change it took a about 15 years before he wanted to get the help he got but he did it and I don’t miss him that way I love the way he is now I’m not scared to be around him or anything I can trust him with my kids and know he will not be drinking at all. But you need to talk to him and figure out something soon because your kids are looking up at you and they see it even if you try to hide it. To me it’s sounding like you need to leave and leaving is perfectly okay not every relationship works out but if your mental health is at stake along with your kids you need to leave maybe for good maybe he will care enough to get the help he needs best of luck !
He needs to step up,
Give him the choice either he goes to therapy or leave
Every addict words “I don’t believe in therapy” is just excuse to keep living , running away from reality, as that’s easier.
Prayers coming in the name of Jesus 
amen
No matter what he wants, you should go for therapy. You need to sort out how you want to live.
He’s an alcoholic. Of course he doesn’t believe in therapy…that means he would have 2 admit his faults and work on making some changes. Drunks get verbally n mentally abusive over time. I was married 2 such a person for 20 years. He needs 2 stop drinking. If he refuses then u need 2 do what’s best 4 u and ur children.
I left my husband of 18 yes bc of this. It’s not easy. At all. But I’ve gained my self worth back. Go with your gut.
I stayed with a drunk like this for 10 years and after the first couple of years it turned physical abuse it will get worse leave with your kids now you and your kids are better off with out him please if not for you then for your kids they don’t need to be around him he is toxic they need to be in a safe and loving home even if it’s a single parent my children now as adults tell me that they were glad I finally left because they couldn’t protect me like they thought they should I told them that wasn’t thier job please do that for them
Go to a therapist for yourself
Tell him you both WILL GO TO A GOOD COUNSELOR!!!
You need to leave that relationship kids come first your husband when he is not home probley cheating
This was me 6 yrs ago. Married 12 together 16 and he cheated on me ontop of the drinking and all the above. I left. Don’t stay for the kids. It’s not healthy! My kids are better now because I left. And now he and I are better friends now apart then we were together married. Best of luck to you.
Leave and take the kids, get child support. You and the kids should be hearing verbal abuse