I have a 16-year-old daughter’s father has never been In her life until maybe two years ago, and he’s in and out of her life. I do everything and anything for this lady as a single mother. My boyfriend tries to help as well. she is angry, screams get so mad …I do not know what to do anymore. We have tried therapy etc nothing. I have no idea anymore why she is like this, or what she scream etc acts like this I need help … I am stressed out to the make she makes threats to go back to someone her father that doesn’t care about her. I need help with her
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She needs to see an actual Psychologist! That way To see what her Problem is and also See if they Can do a test on her too be sure she don’t Have schizophrenia or any kind of Mentality. Stay Strong Mama 
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As I was once told, shell be the cruelest to you because she feels safe and knows nothing shes does will ever make you not love her. Wheras with her dad…my kiddo is 6, and even ad a baby and toddler her dad was physically present but never there…and now hes neither, doesnt even wanna talk on the phone with her…each time she gets hurt. She takes it out on me, and still keeps trying to be with him…now 6 is not 16, but it could be similar in ways…you got the strength and you can always chat with us…
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My mother went through the same thing with me when I was younger. I was just angry and depressed. I didn’t know how to process or deal with my emotions and it caused alot of problems I still have today cause I wouldnt go to therapy for years. You cant force her to want to get better or want to seek help. If she doesnt want to go to therapy and take it seriously then she will not make progress at all even if she is going. I highly recommend talking to her about her feelings. You may have to sit with her in silence for an hour until shes comfortable or give her a notebook to start writing in or drawing in. Drawing and writing helped me with alot and I still have my journal from years ago. I love to go through it and see how far I’ve came and how much happier I am.
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Is she on birth control ? That shit pushes alot of us over the edge at that age when we have other issues mentally going on.
A lot of kids go through this they back talk don’t listen don’t mind think they know everything remember and plus they tell us that they hate us they always threaten to go live with the other one but you should tell Daryl dad he needs to Buck up and shut up and tell her excuse me you need to respect and mind your mom he probably don’t want to live with him anyway or he would have been around sooner that don’t work go get it checked out and get her a happy pill and if that don’t work bust her ass… Remember you’re her mother make her show respect to you don’t let her be ugly or to your boyfriend.
I went through a behavioral phase like this as a teen…it’s hard to say what the trigger(s) is/are, but maybe try to sit down with her and ask her what’s going on and what it is that you can do to help get her through it so you can better understand. Try to be as understanding and unbiased as possible, come at her with a compassionate and empathetic tone so she doesn’t feel attacked or cornered so she doesn’t freak out. It very well could work itself out though. Wishing you the best and sending love your way.
My daughter (now 20) and I started to go through similar issues. I sat her down one day and told her she has every right to her feelings; no matter what they were but she decided in her actions what the rest of her teen years would look like. If she wanted to be a jerk- so be it. I would still love her but she would also spend most of her time grounded. If she wanted to change her attitude- we could have fun with all the things teenagers should be.
I didn’t believe it at first but she really took it to heart and straightened out.
Too many factors. Does she have siblings? Could it be she’s jealous of your time? Peer influence? Does she have a boyfriend? What are her usual activities? A psychologist might be a help.
Is there a reason why her father had nothing to do with her for 14 years and is now suddenly allowed to dance in and out of her life? Is that in her best interest?
I acted up as a teenager and young adult. I found out I had a chemical imbalance in my brain. I’ve taken Paxil for many, many years now. I don’t have a problem. Take her to an MD and have her checked.
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As a young person that had issues with my dad not being there, I was a train wreck. I hated life at home because I had the mentality that “dad doesn’t love me so no one else does”. Sit with her, ask her what’s in her mind, and tell her if she doesn’t want to say it, to write it. If she’s comfortable with you reading it, great! But encourage her to let her anger go; bury the letter, burn it, tear it up. It’s HARD being a teenager with all of your hormones and then to add an absent parent. I personally felt better when I would write a letter to my dad and let out everything I felt about him, anger, hurt, sadness, fear. She needs to know she’s loved. I’m sure you do that, but take that little bit of extra time and watch her favorite movie, play a video game with her, see if she likes to write poetry if you must! I know from experience that it’s so easy to “fall off” and start to hate yourself; because at the end of the day, she isn’t screaming at YOU, she’s screaming at herself. Hang in! I’ll send good vibes your way!
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My parents were married when I was this age and I fought with them constantly. A lot of it is the age. Try to figure out ways to spend time with her and make her feel special. Its so hard for a kiddo to have a parent coming in and out. My baby is only 6 and from time to time just starts crying because she had a random thought of her father. Its so sad. I’d try to get her into therapy to talk about her feelings. Sometimes what you as her mama can do for her isn’t what she needs and there is NO SHAME in that. I would also talk to her father and tell he how is inability to be consistent is affecting the child.
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Just let it be
If it goes well ur not
It’s part of life
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I was like that around 16 it was a phase to be honest just talk to her as much as you can 
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Girl she is a teenager! Her hormones are going nuts, she probably feels confused about her father, and boys and school, and fitting in. Try to remember what it was like when you were 16. That’s what I try to do. I remember many screaming matches with my mother…I was overly hormonal…my mother should of taken me to a therapist, I’m pretty sure I suffered from PMDD, i have learned to cope with it as I get older, but i still have months occasionally where my hormones are all over the place, but all 16 year olds are difficult, even boys…I think 12 (for girls) and 16 for the both are the hardest years of parenting honestly lol
Ugh she’s 16 she’s entering a part of life where we get all these emotions we our selves dont know how to handle
Okay first thing
Any relationships ?
And traumatic events recently
Theres something personal to her that makes her suddenly want so much attention
I’d recommend seeing doctors or therapists
Befor treatment
Parents often think treatment helps it does to a point but in life after treatment can be hard
Good learning healthy copeing skills
Sounds like a Typical teenager she probably acting out because her dads in the life and she knows deep down that he doesn’t care so she takes it out on you, I’d sit her down and have a proper talk with her let her shout/scream let her get it all out she’ll feel so much better for it
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Take her out for 1 on 1 time with just u… Maybe she just wants her mummy?! U thought about that? And if the shit behaviour continues, take her bedroom door. Privacy is a privilege not a human right! Maybe try communicating with her 1st though… At end of day ur the adult act like 1
When I went through that phase sadly to say it was drugs. Peer pressure and my dad chose drugs over me. It didn’t last long due to I didn’t want to ruin my body back then. I was depress for a while before I tried drugs. My mom work her butt off to give my siblings and I a great life. I only did drugs because it was a cry for help. As a kid I was molested so it was alot that hit me in my teenage years. We did all the different doctors appointments and evaluation. Check for chemical imbalance and mental illness. Family therapy help me out a lot. As an adult I think just knowing my mother tried to get me professionally help make me appreciate her that much more today. Try family therapy. Try more family activities. Drug test her. Your doing a great job. In try talking with dad and her face to face. If she want to live with him. Let her just be there to catch when she falls it will be hard on you.
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When she seems angry and yelling, go up and hug tightly kiss her head and tell her how much you love her and she is in a safe place to talk her feelings out try not to let go until she has calmed down. That’s about what works. Engaging with her anger and yelling back doesn’t work. She has anger in her heart and love will help her calm down.
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I went through this…I also tried everything. Nothing ever worked…I gave tough love but I also let my child know I am always here and will always love them no matter what. Ive taken away every electronic & enforced my rules firmly. I also had my child work for anything that was wanted rather than needed. It helped a lot. You will respect me & my rules, if you want to move out…ill let you move out but once you leave your room there’s no getting it back because thats the choice you made. I will proudly say my child has changed for the better since I became firm. It was very hard for me to be “mean mom” but at that point I was willing to try anything.
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She is testing you. Be calm and firm but decide ahead of time what the fairest rules are and stick to them. It would also help if you could get the father to discourage her from using him as her fall back position
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If it were me I would go to therapy to someone I could vent to but also someone who specializes in parenting and can talk you through it. Never underestimate a good therapist. Hang in there!
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Obviously she’s wanting dad’s attention but she’s lashing out at you. Next time she tells you she’s leaving offer to help pack and call dad. If dad is as flighty as you say, well she won’t be staying long or he won’t take her period.
I took the threats for years because I thought I’d be a bad mother if I called their bluff. But no single dad wants a kid around full time. Good luck angel.
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My father was the same way in and out. My mom took control and told him you are either going to be in or out not both knowing he could never be in. All my half siblings had emotional issues because he played that game with them their whole life. It was the best thing my mom could of done. She knew I wasn’t in that position to make that decision and I felt relief afterwards. She may need help from a therapist but her father is most likely having this negative impact on her.
It maybe more than just her father she may have something else happening to her if she can’t tell you give her the courage to tell someone else she has something bad going on in her life that’s just my opinion you might need to get her outside help
I would ask her why she screams and is angry… Anger sometime stems from pain. I don’t know all the details but as humans we all want to be heard. She is hormonal and doesn’t realize what happening
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My 16 yr old is the same screams yells overly emotional I’m a single mom to I just try not to react hopefully it will pass as she matures and learns impulse control.
Be patient and continue to show her love shes hurting inside and even though its unfair it happens when she screams dont scream back choose to be the example and stay calm and give her discipline in a constructive way not out of anger be gentle but firm and don’t give up on her . Pray for peace and understanding . She will come around.
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Shes a hormonal teenager or have you forgotten what that age was like. Don’t let her run you and lay the law down. Parents arent the equation.she just wants what she wants. It’s called spoiled brat syndrome. No therapist or fathering is going to sort it unless you harden up. If she wants to act like an adult…treat her like 1. Bill’s etc…tough love or bust. Or she’ll walk over you forever with that attitude.
If she threatens to go her dad’s you say ok I’ll help pack she will change her mind as soon as you start packing my sister did this with my niece
Try a psychiatrist! She could have something else going on, and therapy not be it! I was like that as a teen, and I am bipolar!
It may help to start an honestly journal. A journal that is shared between the two of you. Instead of fighting, write to each other. Nothing is off the table and it helps to process those emotions and what your saying to the other person instead of verbal arguments that often lead to both parties feeling worse after. The emotions of feeling abandoned by a parent are tough on a kid. But no matter what, love her unconditionally❤️ good luck!! It does get better!!
Alot of the problem is her age, teenagers are hard to understand. Do you scream at her? Let her know if she has a problem you will listen anytime. You may not have the answers but sometimes just voicing your problems can be extremely therapeutic. If you don’t scream at her tell her firmly that respect is a two way street and you do not speak to her in that manner and she is expected to speak to you in a respectful manner. It is part of growing up.
I’ve been through this. Have a girls day and talk to her. Let her know she is safe to tell you anything. You have to stay calm no matter what she says.
Its bloody hardwork being a mum, you do your best,you put them first and you never feel appreciated. I think I may have been a difficult child but I found my interest in animals saved me. Horses in particular, and looking back the hours I spent working with horses made me so tired I became the perfect child. I was up early, and always grateful to be able to ride or work around horses. I don’t know your circumstances but your daughter needs an outside hobby, if not horses ,swimming or skating, something she can really get hooked on. Always praise her when she’s good or succeeds. Good luck, you are not alone.
I’m sorry but You did this by allowing that man to come in and out of her life. I’m so glad I read this. I now know.leaving him behind was the right decision! You better get drastic. Take the door off, no phone and give her the bare minimum. She’s old enough to get a part time job. Let her see how hard it is. No child I birthed would disrespect me like this
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You have to remember she’s 16. Her hormones are everywhere. Keep being patient. Talk to her. Let her vent. Sure, screaming isn’t the right way, but when she realizes you’re willing to listen it should help. I was like this for a while for personal issues from home and when I realized I had someone that actually wanted to listen and not be against me, it helped me handle my emotions.
I went through a very similar situation with my son. I made the mistake of letting my son live with his Dad. Fast forward he dropped out of school, struggled with drugs, and us finally on the road to recovery (15 years later). If I could turn back time, I would not drop him off at his Dads. I don’t know how to fix your problems. I just know I wish I hadn’t made my mistakes. Wishing you strength and peace 
You’re the rock in her life. The one she feels safe to push away because you won’t let her go. Be consistent. Whatever you decide
She’s at a real tough age i think calling a therapist would help, i think if you told her father, honestly you wouldn’t get much out of him. Try to be strong mom, these are some tough years ahead,
Maybe time for her to move in with dad see what that’s like…she can always come back they find out it’s not rosey on the other side an she would learn to be grateful for what you offer…
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I hate to say it but let her go to dad. I had to do that when my daughter was 14. She ended up asking to come back home a couple months later and I let her but not before I told her my expectations and rules. She is 19 now and her behavior is way better after coming back home
Teenagers are over grown toddlers…This too shall pass.
My parents are still together so I cant speak on that part in particular but…I grew up with my mom and older sister ALWAYS arguing and yelling at each other. It was awful. Awful to see my mom such a stressed mess and horrible to see my sister always hurt and upset and feeling hated. Of course my mom didnt hate her but as a teen that’s how it made my sister feel. They still have issues to this day because they never really learned how to talk and understand each other. What I’m getting at I guess is I know it’s tough. I know it’s so damn hard and I know it feels like it’ll be like this forever. But I think as a parent the best thing we can do for our kids (I have two boys of my own now) is to not let our frustration and impatience get the best of us. Listen listen listen to her and try to see things from her point of view so you can show her that you understand where shes coming from. Build trust with her and show her that you have her best interest at heart. Try to talk in a way that shows shes understood and her feelings are valid and everyone goes through those emotions and feelings so she knows shes not alone in what shes feeling and she doesnt feel like you’re saying her thoughts/feelings are invalid. Then you can also talk about and give examples of ways to make the situation or whatever the arguement is about better. How to handle things in a positive way. This will build communication between you both. I’m no expert by any means and I still yell at my boys at times when I’ve had enough. But I always apologize for my wrongs and let them know I’m here for them. Constant yelling back and forth only causes more chaos but I know it’s easier said than done. I wish you the best of luck in this. I know it’s so difficult. 
Then let her go live with her father… or put a belt to that ass
Hug her don’t let go until she tells you
Spike her food with cbd. Lol. Joking But my grandma always told me. When your kids break down in front of you after a long day or flip out on you because life is hard It’s because they feel they can just loose their shit on you, or at you because they know you love them and won’t leave them. Because I’m a constant in my kids lives and we have a structured predictable day, while everything else is insane when they go to their dads or a hard day at school.
Just try to love her even though you want to knock her out. Hug her tight and just let her cry. I bet if you just grabbed her and hugged her. And just kept telling her you loved her, and no matter how shitty she’s going to be. You’ll still be there and love her.
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