Therapy. You will learn the important lesson that there is nothing wrong with you, there is a lot wrong with them. Learn to love your inner kid, acknowledge her hurt and remind her she wasn’t wrong or bad. You cannot force people, even those you are related to, to like you or be decent to you.
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snip snip to them hun……family or not! I think personally I’d get them told….if you say they don’t care, and don’t act it, well don’t u give two shits! Tell them straight you was shitty parents as a child and still are now, so unless your actually going to add value to my life and kids lives get gone! To make you feel jealous against your own siblings is just not ok so I wouldn’t care what arguing it caused, get it off your chest as this is about your mistreatment and living with this still live, free yourself and tell them the harsh reality of how u feel! You will feel better as this is a cloud hanging over you! X
I would share how you feel with your parents and also look at going to therapy to talk through things and get strategies for moving forward.
Unfortunately you can’t change your past but your future is in your hands, talk to your parents about how you feel and find out why they are dissapointed in you so much there has to be a reason maybe then you can decide what needs to be done, I know they are your parents and it isn’t easy to walk away from them but sometimes you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do. Unless you talk to them and find out why you will never move forward and accept yourself. Good luck to you
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I never felt love from my parents while growing up: How can I move past feeling resentment?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I never felt love from my parents while growing up: How can I move past feeling resentment?
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a good tool to help you get past these deep hurts and more counselors use it now to help clients move past traumas in their lives. Good for you to recognize that this is not the story you want to carry into your future. Good luck, carry on.
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I would find a professional to help you further figure out those feelings. Peace of mind is worth it!!! You don’t have to be apart of that if it brings you more pain than joy. You only get one life after all! Why spend it around people who have shown they don’t care 
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You have two roads. One is to forgive and forget the best you can. The second would be to cut all ties and forget them. That is nothing but toxicity and something you don’t want your own family around. Think of your kids and imagine what they feel seeing what your parents do for their cousins but not for them and make the decision then. Do something for them and for yourself and forget them. You have people that love you, don’t try to make them or it will end badly.
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Best advice I can give you is IT really is what it is. You can’t change them and if that’s who they are then there’s no need to keep dwelling over it because they will never get it. Sometimes you just have to except who your parents are and that they will
Never be what you need it them so make a life of your own.
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I hope you get many helpful responses. I wish I could give you a hug and say that you are loved and cherished by our maker… I also think you are soo resilient to want to forgive and move past all those feelings of resentment. You truly are what I wish the world had more of.
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It seems as though you have told them your feelings and it falls on deaf ears. Being jealous is like drinking poison and waiting for the person to die… Forgive them for YOUR healing, seek therapy, and keep living your best life. I have a strong feeling they’ll be outsiders looking in on all of yoyr strength and growth that they’ll want to come around. And if so consider on your terms!
I feel somewhat related except i was the youngest of the 2 and our parents didn’t want neither of us so our grand parents raised us til they passed. I was then bounced to and from family. My whole family hates me but will always ask about my sister whom,like myself distanced ourselves from everyone. They did however lean more towards her than myself. She moved to another state and cut contact with everyone except me. I cut contact and told em to get screwed. My kids will never see what i had to if i can help it even if it means they don’t know that side of the family. And im okay with that! You need distance,boundaries and therapy.
Just wanna send u a warm hug and love. 
I really appreciate you acknowledging these feelings and wanting to resolve your Inner conflict.
Also always just remember that your happiness and peace of mind is in your hands and yours alone… dont give others the power to make you happy or unhappy. Once you realise you’re in control of your own happiness… you wont need anyone else… just watch everything that goes on as you would watch a movie… don’t let it affect you. I know its easier said than done… but you’re strong… you can do it😘
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Sometimes it’s just best if you completely move on. You’ll flourish without that being thrown in your face. Mom, Dad, sister etc…titles don’t matter, if they are bad for YOUR life…cut them out. It’s hard and my husband says the same thing, we’ve done this, but happiness is on the other side. Don’t say a word, they have the relationships they WANT, just wake up tomorrow, block, and move on before life passes you by.
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Hi friend!
I went to therapy for my adverse childhood traumas, it helped tremendously. It’s awesome that you can pinpoint what things hurt the most, because that will make therapy run faster, and will absolutely help you navigate these feelings.
There are tons of books and resources your therapist can suggest to help you work through these in your own at home between sessions, which will be very helpful too. I’m currently working through the anxiety and phobia book my therapist recommended.
I highly suggest therapy with someone who works with ACT (adverse childhood trauma) (which feels awkward at first, but after a while feels so amazing to go to), taking a step back to breathe a bit and remembering that no matter how you feel you have messed up, you can still push forward and focus on bettering yourself in whatever way you want.
I, too, was the oldest and carry the same burden, so I understand. Please feel like you can reach out to me if you want to talk. Hugs, friend. 
I personally wouldn’t stand for that crap and cut them out. That’s just me though. I have very little family i associate with and I’m ok with that.
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Let them live in misery. You served them long enough love yourself you deserve it. You were a child they are rotten. Good luck! Love hugs and prayers! 
I can so relate to not feeling loved growing up. Find someone to talk to or for me I had a breakthrough when I got a tarot reading. I’ve been meditating and working on balancing my chakras and have been able to heal this way better than any I’ve tried in the past. Different things work for different people so I encourage you to seek healing through whatever spiritual, religious, or therapy rituals you feel would help you specifically.
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I feel you’re pain my parents use to buy me stuff and my sister the same just different colors and if she liked mine I had to give it up and she got to keep both. When Christmas time came she always got more presents then me and always got shoes while my shoes had holes and spoke back to me! I learned to move on by loving my children and having them to love me and not look back at anything but to just be a better parent to my kids . I don’t talk to that sister by the way and it’s not because I held anything against her it’s because she always hated me .
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I am oldest of 7. Minus a father who went fishing and drinking this is my story too. I still have a problem to the point I just don’t show up to family events
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I learned that you can’t force someone to be a good parent. Their behaviour does not reflect you or your actions. Take time to grieve what you deserved to have and missed out on. Forgive your parents in a way to be able to let go of the past while not excusing their behaviours. Love yourself and understand that you deserve peace and contentment. Build that for your future. Move on. Don’t let the hurt hold you hostage for a better tomorrow.
This breaks my heart 
I’ve felt that before and see others go thru the same. It is their loss not yours but hurts you the most. Hard to forgive too when it is rubbed in your face all the time, I get it 
You might not ever move on if you don’t end your relationship with your parents. It could be holding you back even though you’ve become such a good strong person, if only they realize what they are doing and did. what a shame 
keep your chin up and live your fullest life, with your children and show them what you never had.
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This sounds like my parents and me, I’ve disconnected with them and it’s helped. Nobody deserves to feel like that especially from their parents.
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It sounds like you’ll be the one they will call when no one else will take care of them in the future 
. They hurt you so bad and u still have a big heart to get closures.
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She and he were first time parents , they did a poor job , you may take all the credit for your siblings upbringing , you were the icebreaker for the titanic . They learned many lessons from you and apparently got better . For the rest of your life choose happiness ! I’m hoping your family feels very different about you , that too is yours to claim . Happiness , in everything you do , you deserve nothing less .
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I say this to everyone. Concentrate on yourself and what you’re doing. People are weird. let them do what they want. Focus only on your life and your family and friends. They’re your future.
I was this child also. Now I’m this sibling! My parents were divorced. So it was my mom who did this. My dad didn’t. So lots of therapy. Distance yourself. I don’t have the anger or the resentment I used to have. But I still do think about it sometimes. Not as often. When I do I can tell a big diff in my feelings. I totally feel for you. My heart breaks for you. Make new memories with ur own babies now!
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My mom had 10 kids. Never once did my parents express love, their affection was to tell us we wouldn’t amount to anything, we would fail at anything we tried. My mother beat us (dad worked long hours) she killed 2 of her children through neglect. We had to wear the same clothes every day as she was too lazy to do laundry, this got us bullied in school. We couldn’t leave the yard but we’re not allowed in the house until bedtime. My dad passed early, my mom never met her grandkids or great grandchildren. She died 4 yrs ago alone her smoke alarm went off for hours no one called 911. No one attended her funeral, and her prepaid coffin was switched to a pine box. Younger sister I guess thought she would get the difference in cash.
Karma has a way of taking care of this. Move on forgive but don’t forget
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Please consider joining a support group for narcissistic parents. It’s ok to cut ties with anyone that makes you feel less, including family. Setting boundaries, getting therapy, and having a really great support group around you will help you so much! Wishing you all the best. Xx
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Wow! I literally could have written this. You HAVE to find your closure. They’re not going to change. Therapy helped me alot. There are also support groups. I completely cut mine off almost 20 years ago for my own (and my husband’s) sanity and never looked back. It was so freeing and empowering to not have to deal with the toxic relationships and have it interfering with every aspect of my life. They have never met my children and never will. My boys will never know that toxicity. I have my husband’s side of the family and my friends are my family. I have the most supportive girlfriends in the world. Surround yourself with those kind of people. Family isn’t always blood. Good luck 
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I’d tell them what useless pieces of shit they are and then remove them from my life… it would be like a cleanse, as you know that you are a good person, good mum, and you have a good life and you do not need their reassurance or approvement. If they cannot treat you equally they aint worth a wank. Xxx
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Forgive them but take yourself out of the equation completely. Your worth so much more than being treated like that. They obviously play favorites but guess what ?? The black sheep always come out on top and more blessed!!
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You have to let all of that go. You have the rest of your life to live freely and on your own terms. Let them say what they want. You know the truth and deep down they do too.
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It’s called no contact and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. They aren’t my problem anymore and I’m so free without that toxic waste in my life.
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First definitely speak to someone professionally if you haven’t already. And then cut them loose. As hard as that sounds you need to find the strength to rid yourself of all their toxicity. If you don’t you will be caught in a never ending cycle that isn’t healthy for you or your true family. Make damn sure you are a better example for your kids than your parents were for you.
Same thing here. I’ve been considering seeing a therapist about it. Being told by your parents that they f’ed up with you, man that sits so damn deep in your soul. Having buried them both already, I have no way to come to terms with them on what was said and the way I was treated so differently than my younger sisters.
Now I lead my adult life with heavy trust issues and extreme abandonment issues with personal relationships. It’s incredibly hard to let someone in and then I spend all my time ruining it thereafter. Can’t stand this, so I completely get it.
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Personally I don’t think you will ever get over it or let it go
Some pain sticks with us forever but that being said don’t let it ruin life for you. Don’t let it ruin your day.
It’s sad and it hurts but doesn’t seem like they will change or care so don’t let them hurt you anymore.
I would say talk to a Professional who can give you positive tools to use to help you process and except and let go
Now that you are adult, to move on from your past, think of the good things and how the things you had to do made you a better person. Ex: my Grandma made me clean things over & over. So when I got out on my own I knew how to clean and keeping house is a breeze. Same with cooking … I cooked from a young age. I also developed a good work ethic. You must like yourself before you can be happy. Remember no one it perfect.
If your family doesn’t except you for you find friends who will.
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I never remember hearing I love u either, I don’t speak to any of my ‘family’ and happy now☺️
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If it was me I would have cut all of them out of my life as soon as it was possible. Toxic people are not what I need in my life even if they are blood related. Your own little family is whats important now. Good luck moving forward 
Therapy helped me with this. Also, CALL THEM OUT! They likely won’t own their mistakes, but it can’t make your relationship any worse. It made me feel better to tell a parent the damage caused, my expectations, and set boundaries. It made my life a lot more peaceful, and those boundaries helped me to heal. Let them know everything they did, the damages those things have caused, what you expect from them if they want to have a functional relationship with you and your children, and what you will no longer tolerate. It is not a bad thing to cut toxic family off, no matter who they are. Don’t be afraid to cut anything and anyone out of your life that jeopardizes your well being and mental health. No relationship is worth that.
You’re draggin around this heavy baggage that isn’t even yours. That baggage belongs to them, so give it back to them.
I’m so sorry you’re having to work to undo damage caused by selfish parents. You deserved better as a child and deserve better as an adult. It takes a lot to acknowledge those negative feelings, and I’m proud of you for doing so and trying to heal. I hope you can heal and move forward, and if it’s without them, that’s okay.
love and hugs to you
You sound very brave, you did what you needed to do wen a teenager. No, your not suppose to be your parents slave babysitter all the time, you weren’t meant to be the parent, you were suppose to be a child. Tell your parents how you feel, move on from them, from their out dated opinions. You don’t need to please them anymore, you don’t need their approval
Easier said than done but if you dont thinking talking to them would help, i would just walk away, maybe move away if u could and live yalls best life! No sense in being miserable. I myself would explain to them exactly how I feel, I have no filter and if I bottle things up I explode eventually. If things didnt change or got worse then they made the choice I’d move on. hope for the best!
Therapy therapy therapy. Also, I would highly recommend reading a book called ‘the absent father effect on daughters’ by Susan Schwartz.
And if you would like to understand narcissism better to explore if you have been a victim of it, I would recommend YouTube videos from Dr Ramani (who is a psychologist that specialises in it) and I would also recommend Lisa Romano.
My dear, the key is to find your way back to YOU. The authentic you who was quashed as a child and to love her and honour her and know how worthy she is!
I can’t recommend therapy enough but with a therapist whom you have a brilliant connection with. Sending lots of love x
I feel this post whole heartedly. I dealt and are still dealing with it. My brother is the golden child while I’m the family screw up
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To add;
I used to get so angry and resentful towards my mom because she never got birthday gifts or Xmas gifts and when I realized she never wrapped my kids a gift or got them a card she would just say what do you want for Xmas on Christmas and never follow thru. But one day I got some really good advice, that’s just who she is. She’s not one to run and get gifts and wrap them, I can take it how it is or continue to pour out negativity. Now I’ll just remind her a few times till she gets the gifts lol
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To heal yourself, first realize one thing, you are an adult who made ur own choices, knowing from some form of good and bad choices… once u left their home, ur choices, ur responsibility… what happened in childhood, happened,which 90% didn’t have good childhoods… for the present and future… as hard as it seems cutting ties, for however long, is a tremendous relief for selfness… I have cut my entire mother’s family off permanently. My father and his family, I never knew… my mother, when she was living, I cut off for 3yrs… even with my children, bc she had become so toxic, that they noticed and felt uncomfortable… it’s not wrong, it’s self care. Good luck.
Oh honey I’m sorry you went through that. I’m the youngest of 6 and I went through the same thing. My mother was more “attached” to my sister, still is to this day and I rarely ever got the mother daughter connection.
As I got older it got worse. I went to counseling which helped a ton! We’re still not close. I live in a different county/town and I still try to visit her once in awhile. Even though I can feel the “tension” I still visit.
I have an almost 3 year old daughter and currently pregnant with my second. I keep promising myself that I would never make my kids feels neglected or unloved.
Forgiveness is easier said than done. I struggle with the same thing you do. I write in a journal. The good the bad and the ugly. And I am struggling with forgiving, because I associate forgiveness with forgetting. My counselor told me, I can forgive them but I never have to forget the actions. She also said bitterness is a poison to your heart and soul. It’s hard I get it. Good luck
I was told since I was little that I was the unwanted one cuz my mom had my sister and brother so she had the pair and was happy. She got pregnant wit me and till this day(33years later) she says the only reason she had me was bcuz my grandma wouldn’t let her have a abortion
Still hurts but I learn that I can’t change her.
My dad was the one that gave me all the love and im still his daddy’s little girl. I love her bcuz she’s my mother but our relationship is not a good one.
Seems like you have everything bottled up so far, may be it’s time you put yourself first…… if talking to them is not an option then mite as well penn down ur thoughts and feelings n let them know how u feel n be ready to move on with or without them. Feeling unloved by ur parents is a horrible feeling but try focusing on ur fmly n kids…… we can’t change d past but we definitely can mk d most of our present future😊
Honestly my opinion is copy this paste and send then block. No need to add no need to take away. You have done nothing wrong and I am so sorry you feel this way! Just personally that is what I would do it’s exactly how you feel and you wanna move on. This will show them how you feel I wouldn’t bother with their reply you did your part and then block. I have cut family off in a matter of minutes to work on myself it’s tuff but you can do it. Take care of them babies show them all the love
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I’m gonna be honest here,
You will never move past it! That is where everyone gets it wrong. You need to learn to cope. I wish someone would’ve told me that instead of acting like I had to get over it. The memories will always be there, so learn coping mechanisms that work for you.
Loving your own children and knowing they won’t get the same treatment from you… should help a lot itself.
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You have to forgive them and when you do you’ve given yourself freedom from the hurt and pain.
Personally I would just cut them off. Stop dwelling on the past and expecting people to change. Do not let them dictate your attitude for the day or how you go about things. That’s truly letting them win. You have your own family now all you can do is be a better parent to your babies then yours were to you.
Snip snip the parents and move on, it’s not your siblings fault so please do try and forgive them and only them.
Turn to your own family and don’t worry about these toxic people. Give your children the love you didn’t have as a child
I know where your coming from , but remember for you to heal you must forgive , it took me many years , don’t waste a big part of your life like I did been miserable
They were co-dependent, trauma bound narcissists. You were the family scapegoat. Only therapy & counseling can help guide you thru your childhood. There may be things there you don’t remember or don’t want to remember yet. Get a pro to help you thru it, otherwise your whole life could implode. I wish you healing & happiness 
It’s NOT that they love the younger ones more it’s just that they are more stable now. It has nothing to do with their love for YOU…they did for you the best they could at the time.
Cut them off and focus on your family. I know it hurts but it hurts less when you don’t have to see it all the time. I hope you have/will have accepting and loving in laws.
Like I told my kids don’t ever use their dead beat dad as an excuse for anything.
I am totally not trying to be a dick. The first thing that came to my mind is maybe he isn’t your biological father. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t like his wife and she does everything for him? To me, this would explain it. I don’t know if it would be a good or bad thing for you, but may be worth looking in to.
Sounds like a chapter of my life 
hugs from afar you are not alone. We are the “lost children”
You need to forgive… For yourself not them. Use that as a learning tool of how not to be to your kids. Break the cycle. Be happy your siblings are loved… Not jealous. You wouldn’t want them to feel what you have. Be the lerson you needed when you were younger to others.
By being the love you wish you would have received and buy understanding that sometimes love looks different to people
Back away… it’s time for you to do for you. Dont give them the time of day. You must be the change in order to get the change you want/need. Once you dont really have anything to do with them you will feel better or more at ease.
I feel you completely. My mum still treats my sisters like queens and me like she could careless . I’ve done therapy and it still hurts , especially when you see your sisters loved and me not so much . But I can’t change my mother , she is what she is and while it hurts I did learn how to be a better mother . I hope you can find peace and know that you are amazing and your life is good . They can try to bring you down but don’t let them ( they thrive on seeing your pain ) . It’s funny when parents want to say you didn’t do anything good in your life when they are the ones who should be motivating you , strengthening you , pushing you and cheering you on . It’s hard to accomplish something after high school when you don’t have that support but at the same time know that everything you have achieved you did it on your own . I live a very privileged life right now I know it eats my mother up because of it ( which sucks ) but I accomplished everything I have and the same for you so be proud of what you have become because you did it on your own .
My husband loves fishing but doesn’t have any friends and says that were life partners and he can do anything with me he can with friends and doesn’t drink smoke or dip,and won’t go fishing unless I go with him and we dont ho anywhere unless we go together other than work and even at work we go see each other on our break and talk the whole way there and back because when he traveled we missed 2 years of each other and now we’re together 24/7. Were truly happy and been like this for 7 years now. I have one bestfriend which is my cousin but I don’t do anything unless I go with him but if we wanted to we know we can but we dont.
Me ,I am not a doctor whom can write prescriptions just yet anyway ,just a observer of people’s actions. You want your parents approval nothing more!
Your successful, your words, so only you can’t move forward. Stop fighting your reflection, it’s cold and numb.
Your comfortable and you know it, so here is where I leave ,nice write up, and look forward to more entertainment.
I think a good councillor would help. It’s private and you’re can pour your heart out. It’s a worthy investment to make in yourself.
Regardless of the argument it may cause, you should tell them how you feel. I think that’ll be the only way to lift this feeling off of you.
First of all I do apologize that you force to bw the “small mama.” Meaning your mom made you responsible for HER RESPONSIBILITY! Everyone has the right to help at home incident todlers that are 2 by like picking up toys. But having you babysit when it was her responsibility n it stole you from your childhood, teen hood is wrong! O think you shall pray about it to see where God leads you. To speak the truth in love (kindness, gentleness, humbleness) is not a sin, but I do believe is important to be led by Gos becuase as the bible sais ( don’t put pearls on swines or theu will attack you by throwing then back at you). Pearls represents wisdom, if you try to open their eyes to the wisdom that theu abuse you by stealing your childhood n teenage hood they may used that by throwing it back at yoi and attacking you with it. There are some persons that are sooooooooooooo hard headed th3u don’t even understand common sense
When in those situations God tells me to just pray for Him to open their eyes. Sometimes it takes a year or longer etc. I think I would pray for God to open their eyes that way when u talk to them they won’t be in denial. Any theraphist will tell you to speak to them n I’d theu take it wrong then that is on then not on you. Is not about me but the same thing happen to me. I was the baby of the family n my older sisters had a bunch of kids n they used to force me to babysit their kids becuase theu said I was the small one I had to help then n obey then. I remember being 12 years old babysitting 12 kids some of them barbies for hours a day . When I graduated college none of then came to my graduation. I got no gifts. I would get promoted at work n tjeh will never said congrats. I open up my own bussines n theh critized me for buying expensive stuff fir my disable mom who I pay all her rent food n bills n would not help. Yet one of their kids would graduate high school n theh would throw them a big pastors n give them big gifts like a cruise. I never saw that. I once told all of then that I was tired that they mever celebrated me n they change a litle bit. When I spoke to them of who ot was not right for them to have me baby sit their kids the whole time n not even paid me they attack me but at least I got it out. Now after reading the book boundaries by Henry cloud Hos led me to have boundaries woth my family because they can be abusive . I learn how not to do the same with my kids. I also attend a program that any churches have or they also have ir online trhu zoom called "Celebrate Recocery. : is a 12 step Chrsitian program for any hurt hangup or bad habit. My family gave me ptsd becuae o was abused in all kinds of way including sexually when I was a litle girl n I thoug it was normal. God heal me. Now I sponsor other with ptsd or that have family problems n it feels sooooo great to see how Gos heals my sponsees from family hurts, but while tahr happens I support them n they also get accountability group of women rahr become like.thwir family n pray with each other. Please concentrated ln giving your kids the love that you never had from your parents. Make sure this doesn’t steal yoir focus. Plant seeds of tiem with your kids becuase they are worth it (that is what God is leading me to do n I don’t feel left out anymore even thoug my family still leads me out) it doesn’t hurt any more.
Go to therapy. It’s not a bad thing and it can help you deal with those emotions
I would speak with a professional… That’s some tough stuff to get through. …
Forgive them , pray for them and make peace with the situation. Be proud of what you have accomplished and enjoy life
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Im the oldest too. And by ur story, I remembered my terrible childhood. I used to being beaten everytime I did everything wrong. They beat me so bad till the bruises all over my body. So frustrating to remember. My mom always said its her right to do everything with her children even she said she could kill us. When we explained our hurt and then she got cried and played victims and said" I gave birth to u and raise u and how dare u lecture me". and I cant even say nothing. Her actions and all of what she said since i was a child till now been eating me alive. I wanna run away but here belived that without ur parents blessings, ur life will be cursed and become nothing. 
I am so sad for you. Please seek the help of a therapist.
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Get a therapist. That’s how I am working through some of the things you are.
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Therapy and cut them out of your life.
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I would suggest getting a therapist to help you with this. Best thing I ever did.
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Just forget they exist honestly… u don’t need the negativity in your life neither do your kids
This breaks my heart but all the advice I have is move on past toxic people even family
Therapy and very limited contact with your so called parents.
Trauma therapy will do wonders if you put the work in!
Therapy. Good luck. Trauma based therapy!
Confront them, arguments or not you need to get it off your chest. I wish you all the very best 
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Wow sounds just like my childhood. I’m also the oldest.
I am so sorry for sure. This is awful!!! If it helps you have all of us!
Family or not some times u just gotta let them go when you let the past go…
Cut them off and get into therapy.
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I have a similar story. In recent years, I’ve really needed to find peace with myself, desperately. So, I am in therapy. And it IS helping. I am still in the early stages of course, but being told it’s OKAY for us to lay down boundaries and demand they be followed or face consequences is quite freeing in its own way. I really, really hope you’d consider this option. I do my sessions weekly over video call, in my own home. Good luck finding that peace and try remember just because they have taught you to not love yourself, does not mean you are not worthy of love from others, or more importantly YOURSELF!
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Therapy and I’d cut whoever is toxic… blood doesn’t make you family it only makes you related…
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Family can be so toxic!! I have cut ties here recently. It wasn’t easy, but I am slowly feeling better. As time goes I don’t even think of them as much, sometimes not at all. I know what you are going through. Each new day is a new beginning and I feel better since I have gotten rid of the negativity
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First I’d flip my shit and express myself weather they liked it or not. And most definitely do it in a psyco manner and cut all ties with the toxic parents and any siblings who r the same. Then I’d seek professional help bc u r loved and your feels matter. Hugs love and prayers.
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I don’t have answer but I want to send you the biggest 
You got to put it behind you let it go and move forward. You cant stay in the past and expect to grow. If your family is toxic my best advice would be to get away from them. They’ll come around when your doing good watch and when they do by then you wont want there approval. You only need your own.
Counceling! Sounds like a lot of issues to work through so you can move on.