This question was submitted anonymously by real people looking for real advice. Please be mindful with your responses. No bashing or derogatory comments will be tolerated.
Walk out the door and don’t look back it’s hard the First time but you can do it you are stronger than you think
You don’t need any advise of the relationship is toxic…just leave.
Have a plan
Place to stay,little cash,bags packed and ready to go
Leave and don’t look back !
I did it by moving in with someone i trusted and who was willing to help me get back on my feet while keeping me from going back and doing something i didnt need to be doing
My momma always said when you tired you will be done anyone can give you advise but it takes YOU to truly be over the mess it’s a self choice at the end of the day nobody can tell you what to do other then self.
Run, don’t walk, and don’t look back.
Leave. If you go back, leave again. Eventually it will stick.
If there’s kids involved. There’s more to be done. If your in one and find it hard to. Get therapy. Get to the root of why you allow men in like this. You feel the red flags but keep moving forward hoping it’s not like that forever maybe…? Maybe your like me and witnessed it and thought that was love. Maybe you see it but can’t find the strength to leave. Therapy helped me. It made me secure of my emotions. That what I felt was real and what I felt wronged in was wrong. Sometimes we need a cheerleader to give us that motivation. You can message me if you wana talk
Never leave until your mind is made up and I mean it better be made up so you don’t go back ever
Pack up when he leave a out don’t say nothing at all take what you can without him knowing money and phone.block his calls. Get you a place and don’t tell nobody that he knows about where you at.but pleases don’t go back to the house for anything you left.it won’t turn out nice if you do.make sure you have everything you need.
If by toxic you mean they are abusive then wait until they are gone or at someone else house to tell them its over, then go stay at your family or a good friends till you can find a safe place away from them. If its not abusive tell them you are done, and keep yourself busy with whatever you decide to, like work,going back to school if that’s something you need to do or workout. Good luck
Pack your shit and just go. That’s what I did.
No advice… you get your shit and go. Don’t look back. Things will never change
You’ll know when you’re ready to leave…
You gather all the strength you have left and you use it to take that step to walk away. You rely on someone close and supportive to help you keep walking away. You remind yourself every minute why you are leaving. You be brave. You try your best. And you believe that better is out there.
Okay so baby steps.
Financial: stash any cash away you can. Get cash back at the store, or if that’s a no go, buy a $10 item and then return it for cash next time you’re there. If you’re able, open a secret bank account, make sure its 100% paperless. All statements online.
Minimize: if you live together, plan what you’ll need to leave, and what you can’t live without. Start organizing it for easy egress in the guise of spring cleaning.
Safety: will you have a place to go? Do you need to call a shelter? Is there one in your area? Meathead movers can help move you if they are available in your area and usually for free if you’re fleeing abuse. Do you have pets that will need to leave with you? Gather their things as nonchalantly as possible so you can take them.
Emotional: you have been torn down, and brainwashed. You may feel like you are the bad guy here. Have a DV hotline that you can call for help if you think you may have the urge to return. Stockholm syndrome is real, and the brainwashing toxic partners use causes forced trauma bonding. You may feel horrible for leaving, it doesn’t mean it was the wrong decision.
Download Woebot or a similar free CBT app that can help you manage some big emotions, and learn to process trauma, and cope with negative thoughts and emotional spirals.
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Find some where safe and secure to go than leave…
Leave when they aren’t around, and if they are so controlling to track your location, lave that too. Make a phone call to police so they can help you, or go to a very trusted family/friends house. You NEVER, and I mean NEVER talk to them, or go back, or meet them anywhere at anytime!
Work on the psychological aspect of your behavior. What benefit do you get out of your interactions? Does it outweigh the negatives? What do you really want and need out of a relationship? What aren’t you getting from the relationship that you arent getting? Do you love yourself? Why not? Are you working to heal from your traumas? Work on positive coping mechanisms and acquiring a positive support system. Seeing them is like ripping open a healing wound. Are you an impulsive person? What do you do to curb impulsive behavior? You have to replace that immediate nice feeling of having their affection with something else that is pleasurable that actually gives back to you. You have to understand that they will rope you in with good behavior only to abuse you later and it will happen in cycles so dont fool yourself into thinking their behavior will change.
It easy to say leave. You already know that’s what you have to do. Start saving money. Look into places to live, if you can’t stay with family or a trusted friend. Rent a storage unit or use someone’s garage and start going through your things and slowly move your stuff out. Ask friends and family for help. All the best! Take care!!
Pack your stuff, leave & change your number. Make sure all mutual friends know not to give it to them. Go get counseling.
When you love them so much you can stand them. Leave
I’m ready to leave too. We can do this just walking away is the only thing you can do besides pray. You dont know how bad a relationship really was until you leave.
Quietly… quickly…NO contact
Change all contact infor. Do not announce it, don’t visibly prepare for it, no explanation, no guilt. A toxic person KNOWS why you left!
Open the door and start walking
One foot in front of the other.
when you are ready you will walk away and cut them out of your life…I hope for your sake you do it sooner than later
I almost lost my life. Leave before its too late. Dont look back.
the front door is a start
It’s tough, especially when you love them and you know deep down that they aren’t good for you. That they are slowly destroying you from the inside out. You have to keep reminding yourself that you deserve better, you need better. And you put on your big girl panties and do what you have to do to be happy.
If it’s a dangerous situation call your local domestic violence agency to help you make a safety plan
The only way is to leave and then implement complete “no contact”. It’s the hardest thing ever, believe me I’ve been there but it’s possible. Work on yourself and take counselling if you need to. I’m three years out and happier than I’ve ever been. Leaving was the best thing that I’ve ever done. I’m a totally different person to the shell that I once was. Stay strong . You’ve got this. Hugs
Pack your things. Walk out the door. Never go back.
It’s never easy walking out on a toxic relationship, and sometimes women just leave in what they are wearing and nothing more, my advice would be this as I’ve been through it, if you have a home school family support officer speak to them make them aware of what is happening they can put you in touch with womens support or women’s aid they can help get you into women’s refuge away from where you are you make you safe, if you don’t have these means then you can contact womens aid and get booked into a refuge, tell your partner your popping to the shop to grab some bits and go then, have a plan in place, women’s aid will help you from there on they will help to get it Into court for a nonmolestation order and can arrange for police to support you then to go and collect belongings, also see your doctor tell them what is happening so it can be documented as evidence in court, I promise you you will be ok it’s scarey at times, its lonely at times and it may cross your mind to go back it’s natural to have those feelings, but don’t do it, I’m more than happy for you to confidentialy give you further advice and support if you want to pm me … Sending hugs x
Talk then talk again. If talking didnt work, walk away.
I left and started photography. Been single for 3 1/2 yrs and love it
Run and never look back!!
You’re not ready to leave,when you’re ready you’ll know that there’s no special way to leave.
Get out and cut out ALL contact.
Go read my post from yesterday on my page! My ex husband ran me over with a car three days after i left… don’t be me!
My partner passed away, I wouldn’t of ever moved on otherwise. I’m very weak.
pack your bags and leave
I’m right with you…And what if you are supporting their business due to this pandemic…?
Start getting money put aside in case you have to move,get all your affairs in order and dive in, make a move!
The most dangerous time in a relationship is right after a breakup. If you need help feel free to pm me and I will help you work out a plan to leave safely
I left one 5 yrs ago never looked back. I started hving seizures from stress I needed me to take care of me.
It’s not easy to “just leave”, there are so many other factors that made you stay in the first place. The best advice I can give… clear your head, focus on yourself and move forward from the toxic person.
Be like Nike & just do it.
Put on your clothes and a pair of shoes and keep walking.
You have to leave everything behind
Hard to leave, but when you do, the RELIEF is amazing!
Explain a toxic person .
Believe that you deserve better!
You have made the first important step by recognising toxicity. Don’t stop now, make the next step : leave. Don’t drag it out, you don’t have to explain yourself - you know the toxic person will not listen, they’ll twist everything you say and throw it back at you and make you doubt yourself. Just leave and don’t look back, you know it’s the right thing to do.
Y’all act like it’s that easy. When you become dependent on a person it’s hard to just walk away. Along with all of your belongings. It’s even harder with a kid.
Leave ! Please before something bad happens wait till they leave and that’s when you get all your shit and get out of there! Cut all ties !! Prayers
Cut all ties including people, take what you can and don’t look back.
I left one 15 years ago it took me a little while to do it an me an the kids just took what clothes we could pack an started over I rented a home secretly an got all utilities on, a few months later when he was at work I grabbed there back packs shoved what clothes would fit an they each took a toy we left an used a po box for mail never my real address switched jobs, switched cars, took him 13 years to find us now I have a restraining order which isn’t anything but gave me time to buy a pistol an rebuild my strength in myself. He now knows I’m not afraid to fight back an stays away. You can’t have social media they will find you. I still watch over my shoulder daily but I was in a very abusive relationship for a long time but now I’m a stronger independent single mom of 5 an can stand up for myself an if I could leave one I know you can too!! I left that situation with 4 an pregnant with 1
I left my toxic relationship 2 yrs ago, it wasn’t easy. It was hard. No one can tell you how to leave or what to do. One thing I can say is don’t use the excuses, trust me when I say this you deserve better your children deserve better. You will be ok. Financially you will figure it out. When you do leave, block their number stop all communication because they know exactly what to say to get you back. And even now it is still hard but I keep pushing, not just for me but my kids. I love you and I support you
Pack up your stuff, and go! Block all texts and calls…once you go do not look back! Or they will suck you right back in
Walk and keep walking…
Block. Delete. Move. Cry in private. Breathe in public. Wash your face. Tylenol. You got this
Do a Pro’s and Con’s list. Seeing is an eye opener.
Step one make up your mind you got to go step two think about what’s preventing you from going step three make a plan to eradicate those obstacles. Or wait it out execute your plan stack paper. Then one day the day arrives and it’s not surreal anymore and it’s not impossible anymore. What’s preventing you from leaving is your own mind
Ask A group where we give TERRIBLE advice
I think that no one can tell you anything that will help until you have had enough of it then you will know yourself how to get out no more excuses why to stay no more love
There’s work to do within yourself but this helps immensely. Good luck.
Go on a vacation somewhere nice. Never come back.
Leaving can be the most dangerous time. They say a person will leave an average of 7 times before they finally stay away. It’s hard to give specific advice with so little info. In what way is it toxic? How long have you been in the relationship? How well do they know your circle of friends and family? My advice would be to start with your local domestic violence office. The ladies at the office I went to were absolutely the best thing that ever happened to me. I could walk in anytime to vent, ask for help, whatever and they were there they listened, they helped and they gave me strength. Not all offices are like that. The office where I am now is not as friendly. Thankfully I don’t need as much support now. Start with the dv office and a couple people that are close to you that you can trust to keep secrets and such.
If it’s abusive, plan an escape route: tell someone what you’re planning, take your belongings out if they’re important to you, (if they’re important to you), go to “work” and never return. Block everything.
But you’ll know in your heart, mind and soul when you’re ready.
Leave and cut all contact.
You aren’t ready to leave until you feel the need to tell no one. Asking “when it is time to leave?” “How do I find the strength?” Indicates you’re not there yet. All the advice in the world is great and all, but only you will know when its time to walk. And the feeling will be so overwhelming, nothing will stop you.
Pick up and leave. I made mine leave two weeks before Christmas with two kids, no food, no presents, bills behind etc. It was rough there for a while but ultimately the best decision I ever made. There’s help out there. Utilize whatever you need to. Good luck sweetheart. You got this!
You are strong, you can do anything. Have someone help you. You are a child of God, you deserve to be treated like a queen. God bless
Just leave. Most of your fears won’t come true… You just need to take one action… Get in touch for therapy if you want
Log Off… Seriously take a Week to yourself no social media distractions! Bet you can’t because you won’t?
Pack your stuff and leave just that easy
I’ve had to leave several and each time it was different, how toxic is it?
It doesn’t take strength. Just get up take your kids and walk out of the door. I did it. You can too
Remind yourself you deserve better…and it’s out there waiting for you,walk the step dear
Open the door, walk out,shut the door