Life changes all the time. This is where you put in the work. It’s not supposed to be easy. Its normal for him to make you crazy but if generally you’re happy and love him then work on the underlying cause of his grumpiness. It’s not really ok for him to use you to take his grumpiness out on either so maybe you need to talk to him about that. If hes upset about something he needs to try to talk about it or take it out in a way that’s better for your relationship.
He might have a medical issue like some have pointed out especially if this is new or worsening behavior. I have seen this happen to people.
I don’t feel like anything has really changed with us. We’ve been together for 10 and married for 7. Some days I think about throwing him out and some days I can’t live without him. I think it’s normal to a point.
Everyone thinks that once in a while about every commitment from getting married to I shouldn’t have bought that house or that car or whatever its natural to question
I’ve been with my husband for 15 yrs married 5. He is so grouchy ALL THE DAMN TIME. I have never regretted marrying him tho.
Men think its ok to act like an ass and be a grouch.
No advise here learn to live with it and turn your ears and your heart off. Great way to live isn’t!!! Pre3much sucks!
I regret my first marriage. Love had nothing to do with it. And he knew it. But he wouldn’t keep a job. So when my daughter’s came to me and they weren’t happy, and i started thinking of ways to kill him without making a mess, it was time for him to go.
My husband is a pure old ass. But I love him with all my heart. We’ve been together 38 years. We found out 15 years ago that he is bipolar. That could be a possibility. If so, get him on medication. If not, ignore him when he’s grouchy. That what I do. I’ve wanted to pack and run plenty of times. I’ve hung in there and figured out ways to cope with his grumpy ass. I don’t regret fighting for my marriage. I hope you find the peace you’re looking for.
I don’t do well in marriage. Unless I have an incredible connection, I feel like I’ve settled. I can also tell when someone isn’t in to me and many times guys will stick around even though they’ve “settled” or don’t feel a connection.
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I have had that before. Been married almost two years and together for 5. Sometimes that happens. Maybe doing something different with him? Date night? An event together? Usually when I do something with my husband ( just us two) it opens my eyes a bit to be like “man I married a great guy”. It happens after being with someone for so long. But I think as long as love, respect and trust are still there it’s still worth fighting for.
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It’s normal to feel aggravated with your partner and certain things are going to annoy you but you married him for a reason. You said everything else is great besides him being a grouch - which everyone is. Idk I think it’s a little harsh. Do you feel like you’re “stuck” now maybe?
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Every day you stay married it’s a choice by both of you. Sometimes you have doubts. So does your partner. If you stay married long term it’s because you decide to honor your commitment not because you feel the same way about them every day. Maybe you did “make a mistake.” But even mistakes can end well if you decide it will and focus on the good.
(Married 30 years- together 34)
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The piece of paper that gave you the Mrs title after 12 years isn’t the issue.
You obviously have been having doubts longer than this, just haven’t faced it before.
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Keep him you should be thankful that he you go out but that just i.would of just life him but you don’t find men like him anymore
It’s normal. You now have a slight sense of feeling trapped. It’s okay because eventually you will just go back to how it was before. My husband and I have been together 10 yrs…married for 2
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1983 married n still -yes have had many different thoughts frustrations n more but it passes n I’m thankful for each day good or just ok;") it could be worse thankful for what we’ve got together !!!
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I think its normal. My husband and I have been together 17 years and married 7. We have 3 kids together ages 13,11 and 4. We have been through so much together and not all of it has been easy. He used to be a very involved parent, attentive to me, helped around the home and was easy to be around. But now its completely different and I do attribute some to his work schedule as a trucker but it can be too much to handle sometimes. He’s always very grouchy, will yell a lot, complains about everything and isn’t involved. I often feel as if we are coexisting and not a couple. I do all the things involving the kids by myself, all house cleaning is done by me and the kids, I do most the cooking and so on. I am a stay at home mom so yes I should do most of it but some appreciation for what I do would be nice instead of coming in the door and having him get on me about something I didn’t get done that day. Sometimes I feel if I had not married it I wouldn’t feel so compelled to stay. Plus there wouldn’t be the legalities to deal with. Him being so miserable and grouchy rubs off on me and the kids and our house can be a pretty unpleasant one sometimes.
28 years. 3 kids. Grandkids. Loss. Betrayal. Love. Patience. good times. Unbearably heart breaking times. A commitment that once joined together shall NOT be torn apart. Sorry what was the question? His heart is bad, HA as in pacemaker. Has had several small strokes. Has pain brain…thank God he was never physically violent. Actually black out time loss from pain. Just another day in paradise.
How is it that you have been with him for 12 years and didn’t know he was a grouch before you married him? Why is it a problem now but wasn’t before? No one else can tell you if marrying him was a mistake. You have to figure that out for yourself. You need to do some soul searching and figure out why his demeanor is a problem now that your are married.
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You have not been through everything unless ONE of you is dead. Who knows what tomorrow brings
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Married 9 years wouldn’t swap my wife for anything x
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Normal. Newly married here too and I’m just like why are you so grouchy 
but I have a damn good man sounds like you do too.
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Please elaborate how he is a “grouch” is he abusive grouchy? Or just a grump all together.? I believe it isnt normal to regret marrying the love of your life. More is going on to make you feel that way. If he is so grumpy you regret marrying him than there is more going on. If my spouse (got rid of him) was grumpy all the time I would feel unloved and like I’m a bother all the time which would lead to me being insecure.
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It’s normal to feel this way. Sometimes we don’t notice the things that were there until we are married. Marriage makes us comfortable and the true personalities and behaviors come to light. I’m no one to take marriage advice from, but try to focus on the good. We get so caught up in the negatives that we end up staying there.
Btw I don’t think this forum is private tho.
For some reason once you go to that married title it seems you’re overly aware of things you may have overlooked. It seems that marriage takes off the mask of happy relationship and puts on the mask of “this is my forever choice”. I’d say it’s a little worrisome if you we’re together for all that time and didn’t acknowledge these things before. I would also suggest to look at why you chose him. Was it conveniently the next step to be married after all that time or do you really love him and want to share your life with him? Don’t be worried about the feelings of doubt but are there some qualities you’re noticing about him that you worry about for a continuing future? In marriage nothing is ever completely perfect, however, if ever you’re not being treated right or your kids aren’t being treated right or there’s other red flags then worry. Maybe share your worries with him and ask if he’s had some new worries too and see how you can resolve them?
it’s normal. my parents were happily married for over 50 yrs and my Mom told us (as adults) she had that thought. It’s just frustration I think. lol I thought that about my hubby and I wouldn’t divorce him for anything. almost 21 years now.
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Umm, every dude is a grouch sometimes! Us ladies aren’t always easy to live with either! I’ve been with my SO for 21 years, married 16 and I’m only 36! So yeah, we’ve grown up together, had years of hard times, but worked through it because in the end we’re both good people and we made a commitment to each other! We have two boys together, 13 & 10 years old. I’ve heard a good saying recently and I’ll repeat it here, “Don’t expect YOU from other people”. Everyone is different 
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You marriage your life of love, your husband, my questions is why r you on social media posting your true gut feeling about your marriage problems r not .my questions is 1who got married? #2 who lives y’all marriage life 3 and you hate asking marriage life advice you should, Only ones wit personal shit resolve personal shirt person to person face to face not Facebook, Tho I really didn’t read the post.
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I’ve heard newly weds tend to feel like this. Maybe that’s why I’ve put marriage off so long. I’ve been with my fiance 7years. We have two children.
But I love him.
Sure there are things that I get aggravated at him about. But the good has over weighed the bad by a long shot.
I met him when I was 14. We didn’t reconnect until I was 17. But it’s always been there. I could say wow I was young what was I thinking. But looking around at everybody else. I mean couples and their downfalls their upsides. I feel so grateful. I could have settled for some really lousy people.
I dont have to beg him to go to work. I dont have to beg him to be home everyday. Or beg him to be a father. Or cook. Or clean. Or fix something. Or buy things we need. Or wait on him because hes right here all the way. We’ve made plans that have been successful. Hes always been here. An God I love him.
I cant tell you how many times hes made me mad but looking from the good and the bad there is no comparison.
I feel like alot of women get this idea that they can have better when the better is literally right in front of them. It’s just worn off if that makes sense.
Go out have a vacation go bowling or trampoline park or go cart or mini golf. Do something for you two.
Honestly it’s not healthy to not have your own time as a couple to be silly and have fun.
It just sounds like your expressing this good about him but something is telling you you have to doubt that.
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Totally normal hahaha I have thoughts like that too & I’ve been married to hubster coming up to 12 years, together 18 & we have been to hell & back more times than people who have been married 50 years
It’s normal! Life isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. From what you posted this guy is your guy. Keep him, fight for him & make it work. If he’s “grouchy” find out why, COMMUNICATE!!! Good luck❤
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Oh girl… If you’ve been with him for 12 years and he is now being himself and being a grump.
My partner is a grump but he is the most loving man ever.
He is my person and I will marry him.
He’s not supposed to be happy constantly and all rainbows and sunshine.
Up’s and downs happen in life and it’s up to you to stand by him.
Maybe talk to him and get down to the root of the problem.
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It’s just like buyers remorse you’ll be okay
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Sounds like a normal marriage to me. It can’t be perfect all the time.
It’s normal but new give it time before making a decision I’ve been with my husband 10 yrs married only 3 of those when we first got married I had thoughts of how I screwed myself but I knew what I was getting long before we married my husband can be a downright ass and so can I but when it comes down to it we’re each other’s rocks open up some dialogue if you’re not feeling normal he may not know what he’s doing to make you feel that way
Youre crazy…you’ll be fine. After 12 years, look at the relationship before you put the title on it…dont focus on the fact youre now “married”. If you were happy before, you should be happy now.
I guess I am not normal, me and my husband have been married for 13 years and I have never regretted getting married
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I’m yet to be married but totally see your point , perhaps it’s just your brain subconsciously telling you it’s new to you ? X
Perfection is not possible. It sounds like you have created a wonderful life with someone who is in it with you! Try appreciating the pluses.
Normal. Sounds like you found a keeper actually. You pretty much described what a good marruage is. Good relationship, love, fight through the hard times, badk in the good ones. Ever marriage has some insecurities. We all have times that we think what the heck did I do? Ah, yes i love this person, thats what. (We think it aboit our kids at times too, especially when they act just like us…lol) I’ve been married ten years. This is all completely normal. And we are ALL a little crazy. That’s what makes life fun!
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Na that’s normal I sometimes think it too. He doesnt appreciate all I do at home and never helps much it sucks
7 years married. 10 years together. I have this thought at least once a day lol. I love my husband to death. We recently got back together after a 6 month separation. But trust me that man is trying! Our separation made us better. Your not wrong. And it’s not a bad thing to have doubts or thoughts.
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It’s harder because when you guys were just together, his bad traits were tolerable because you weren’t married. Feeling trapped can make his behaviours seem worse or less manageable.
been with my hubby for 14 years and i think this at least once a day LOL ( and im sure he does too) its normal honestly, love him more then anything in this world ( except our daughter) and would go to the ends of the earth for him…but sometimes…SOMETIMES -_- lol
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Well speaking from experience we all have annoying traits our spouses find utterly annoying. It sounds like you’re being nit picky and after 12 years find it hard to believe you never noticed his personality until now. Marriage is not easy but nothing worthwhile is. It sounds like you have a good guy who can be annoying af sometimes. We all got them best believe just like I’m sure there are things he probably sees in you as being annoying af but is still there. I think you’re needing to really dig within yourself and find what the real problem is because what you’re feeling is what you’re projecting back at him. Communicate he can’t help or fix anything if he doesn’t know what’s wrong. I think you need to step back and see if maybe the problem is with you? It sounds like you still love him but just annoyed right now. Either way the best advice I can give is to talk and try to work on a solution if you want to continue being married just remember the grass isn’t always greener on the other side it’s green where you water it.
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51 years and love hiimalot
A good man is hard to find
Going thru this right now. Just married in July.
Can you talk with him? Those 2 things that bother you you didn’t tell us… So maybe think about it give it more time if it continues for god sake talk with him
We all feel that way…we are all human and we all have our faults so its normal to get irritated. The thing is…you work through it. No cheating, no leaving. If hes a good man and a good dad and you love him…you work through the down times!! Sometimes its hard to remember that!!
Marriage isnt always easy. There is no way you arent going to go through life with someone without wondering if you made a mistake a time or two. I guess you have to ask yourself if the good outweighs the bad.
43yrs…some regrets…your normal…just be happy 
There are so many times I tell my husband “you better be glad I love you because I really dont like you right now” when hes being extra grouchy. You all have been together for a long time. You were basically already married you just finally made it legal so you’ve both grown comfortable with each other and he feels safe letting you see his grouchyness. Marriage is a daily commitment, some days are just harder than the others. Dont stress over it. I’m sure he probably has days where he thinks your extra grouchy too.
The first year is the hardest. Even being together so long…it’s normal. Just talk to him about it.
So what’s the problem? 
sounds all ok to me.
You had 12 years to figure it out and all the sudden you’re miserable? I’d say it’s your attitude cramping the marriage…