I just need some advice. I just starting working for the first time after having my two boys (1&2 year olds) and I regret it almost everyday. But the problem is I can’t afford to stay home. Where I stay babysitters are cheaper than day care. It’s like $20 a day. 6.30 am to 6 pm. And $15 from 6.30am to 2pm. And this job is like top notch. I can give my children almost anything my heart desires. And I know I got lucky coz I am not even the slightest qualified for this job. I’m paid well. Transport and meals provided. I practically just have to show up. I’m never too exhausted to play with my kids after work and it’s only 2 and 1/2 days in a week. I work in the weekend and my husband takes care of them. I guess I just want someone to tell me it’s okay. That I’m not a bad mum for leaving my kids and going to work. Some people indirectly tell me I should consider staying home. Why me? Why am I all of a sudden attacked for working when there are millions of mothers that many more hours than me and are considered hardworking. But somehow I am cruel?
I felt the same way when I started after my two boys (3&1 at the time). It took a while for me to get into the mindset that it was okay but after a little bit it didn’t hurt as much to go.
Some people do not have the option to stay home. THAT’S OK. Some people do have the option to stay home and choose to work anyway. THAT’S OK. It will be an adjustment for sure. Providing for your family still makes you just as much of a mom as staying home. There is no wrong way. Hopefully the anxiety and self doubt subside for you soon. Hugs!
If you stay home, working moms will say it’s wrong. If you work, stay at home moms will tell you it’s wrong. Do what’s right financially/ emotionally for your family.
It’s okay to work. Your kids will understand and you should have time to yourself even if it’s just work. It will get easier.
People always have shit to say about moms. We’re lazy if we stay home. We’re bad moms if we work. You can’t please everyone. Do what is needed for YOUR family and tell anyone that doesn’t like it to fuck off
Ignore what people say. If it works for your family do it.
You should keep working. You need to be able to draw from something. Think of retirement. You also need your independence. Nothing wrong with having your own savings account. Consider your situation ideal and Don’t take this opportunity for granted.
It’s ok it’s hard being a sahm especially nowadays you really can’t because everything cost so much it might feel wrong now but your kids will understand that everything takes time
I got my dream job when my son was 2 months old.
I knew if I didnt take it I would never have that chance again.
I enjoy working and love the fact that I am able to provide.
No shame for taking care of your family, even if others dont understand
I think mom’s deserve social and confidence boosters not just taking care of kids u r a better mom when u full fill the rest of you
Wow! Good for you. I’m at stay at home mom and hate the thought of having to go to work but I’d jump at that. As long as you’re happy and it sounds like plenty of quality time left who cares what anyone else says 
Maybe you should think about how much more you appreciate your family and kids by working. You realize how much they mean to you and use that as drive to just hug them and play with them twice as much. Sometime it’s also healthy for moms to have a break to be able to carry on a conversation that doesn’t include cartoons, snacks or sippys. You are doing amazing and ignore people. They are ignorant
It doesnt seem to matter either way, Stay home and people say you should be working to support your kids, work and people say you should stay home and raise your babies. You do you, whatever works for your family!!
Its okay to be someone other than just a mom. You’re a multi-faceted person, with complex needs, and you shouldn’t feel shoehorned into being only 1 thing. It feels good to be a provider, it feels good to be valued outside of the home, to contribute in other ways. Its okay to do things that are just for you. You haven’t abandoned on your kids, you only work 2.5 days a week for heavens sakes! Kids can gain a lot of being with other kids and caretakers.
If you have to work then you have to work…we all habe to do stuff we don’t want to, it’s part of being an adult…
I find the ppl that criticize working moms are generally ppl who have always had the OPTION to stay at home and never HAD to work to help support their family…
It gives you time away to miss your babies a little… Its a good thing to be working and helping support your family… I stayed home for the first year and a half then worked part time for a little while and I’m home again cuz I’m pregnant and it kicked my butt again in the first trimester. I miss working. I love my daughter to death but it was nice to get that little break.
You are doing great! My fiance works on Saturdays (we get my SD3 on the 1st and 3rd weekend) and I tell her daddy works so we can have our fun days( go to the zoo, a lot of shopping lol and road trips) and then we will go do one of the things listed or more and she has fun he’s worked Saturdays since she was born it doesn’t really bother her bc she knows he will be home and they play together till shes passed out 
Girl listen, I only work 25 hours a week. I LOVE my job, and I LOVE being able to get out of the house and having some space. Granted, I work for my mother in law and husband at their business, so if I need time off, I got it. If it makes you feel good to work those hours, work it! Don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t a good mom for working.
there are times when mom hs to work and your doing it so you can give your children what they need youe not cruel dont let others bother you by what they say when they dont know your circumstamces ans actually it is no ones business good luck and dont feel guilty
Your going to get criticized regardless. I had the opportunity to go back to work after our first was born but she was a preemie and needed lots of attention and neither one of us was comfortable with putting her in a daycare. I got pregnant with our second when our oldest was 2 and if i had a job i would have lost it, it was a horrible and traumatic pregnancy and we almost lost her, i had her earlier than the first one. We decided that i would stay home with the kids. Nothing wrong with staying home if you can and nothing wrong with going back to work.
It’s just about a good balance. You have to balance work and family. Sounds like you got this. You want to be able to help provide. 
Not trying to be a downer here, but I would not trust anyone who is watching my 1 and 2yr olds for only 20$ a day from 630am to 6pm. That is crazy in my eyes unless its family. That just doesnt sound trustworthy to me. I have a 1 and 2yr old also, my son aug 10th 2016 and my daughter aug 27th 2017. Im a stay at home mom and its tough work which obv you know that. Other than what I said, you are doing what you need to do to be an amazing mommy and dont listen to anyone telling you you’re not a good momma for working. I would just make sure that your babies are getting the utmost attention love and support while at their sitters because again 20$ a day just sounds crazy to me!
Do what feels right and works for you I’m a stay at home mom and I wish I could work even if it was only one day a week being with the kiddos 24/7 is tough sometimes time away would be nice ! If your happy then who cares what anyone else says or thinks 
It’s okay you do what you feel is best for you an your family The HELL with what other people think
I have to tell you just the fact that you are questioning your self and asking for advise shows you are not a bad mum at all! Shellie I raised 3 boys mostly on my own-your babies do need you always but need you the most when they are around 10-18years old. Your children will be fine. It’s natural to worry. One of the hardest thing a mum and dad need to strive for is balance. If the both of you can take your world and prioritize it. Then take the top 6 more or less and then balance your time accordingly. Because of different roles adults play in families you and their dad’s balancing won’t match and are not supposed to. You can help each other figuring it out but they shouldn’t match exact. Much love to you and your family.
There are a lot of moms that go to work everyday to provide for their families. There are a lot of lazy ass moms that live off the system for years. Don’t be a welfare mom, stand up and actually be proud of who you are, teach your kids how to provide for yourself!!!
As a mom that works 40+ hours a week, and went back to work at 3weeks with all 3 kids. Shout out to you. Don’t ever feel guilty for working. Don’t ever feel guilty for bettering YOU. A better person, makes a better mom. A better spouse. A better YOU. Remember that mama!
No matter what you choose or have to do work wise, someone is gonna judge you for it. Let them think what they want. The important thing is that you are doing what you have to do for your kiddos. 2 1/2 days a week is a good place to start. Im a stay at home mom and I dont think I could return to a full job and keep my sanity. You are doing awesome!
Lolwut. I’m attacked constantly, as are many other working moms, for working. I don’t know where anyone would think we aren’t. Welcome to life.
I have three under three and I still work. Wish I didn’t have to. I applaud you for taking care of your family
Working is fine. Your doing well. It would be bad if u decided to allow yourself to not be able to afford much because u wanted to stay out of guilt. The fact u only work 2 1/2 days a week,and u get free meals and free transportation to and from work is amazing. Its something anyone wpuld want. I work 45-55 hrs a week…so count ur lucky starts u are able ro spend most of ur time with them. Ur kids will be fine. They will see what hard work it…see what having a great job can do for a person/family. Dont let other peoples negative energies make u feel bad. They are just jealous. Period.
Why do you feel you need validation from strangers? They are your kids and your family… do what works for you.
I was a SAHM for the first 2 years of my daughter’s life. I loved it and was so happy for the opportunity to be there for everything but I was also unhappy at the same time. I was lonely and bored and always felt like I needed something more. I got a part time job and I’ve been so much happier since. Not only is it nice to contribute financially to my household but it is also time I get to have to myself, out of the house. I come home in a great mood, almost a refreshed feeling. There is nothing wrong with mommies working. Do whatever works for you and your family and don’t let anyone else make you feel like you’re a bad mom for it. Always remember “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent”
You are doing great. It’s a big change and it’s hard to get used to the idea of leaving your kids but it’s a process and eventually you will adapt to it.
Completely lost my sex drive for 3 years on it. A year off of it my sex drive us back and my relationship with my SO is a lot better. Good luck
You are in mommy mode and mommy feelings:+1:t5:
It’s ok you doing a good thing you are giving your family a better life, Let that guilt roll orff your back think about the greetings u get when you get home PLUS the bills that are being paid:+1:t5: so the ppl that are telling you to stay home put a bucket in their face and tell them to drop some money for giving you advice like that see if it’s enough for you and your family to keep it moving. your babies will be O.K
Its gonna take some time to get used to working but if its what works for your family go for it. Theres always going to be someone who doesnt like what a parent does. Stay home you are awesome but probably lazy or are soooo lucky your husband works enough for you to stay home, or go to work youre a horrible parent for leaving the kids (just some examples). No matter what you will be judged and it doesnt matter what they think as long as it works for you and your family.
Not ANYBODYS business but you and your husband. Would you say your husband is bad for working? No? Well neither are you. Plus it’s only 2 days . If anyone ever says anything tell them to worry about their own lives
OP RESPONSE
I genuinely feel so great right now. Like the fact that you guys think I am good mother is so so nice of you all. Thank you guys. You might think your comments were in vain but I get it now. I don’t need other people’s opinion on whether I should work or stay home. Thank you so much. Much love.
Although shamed upon by people not every mom is a STAH mom. Some dads are just perfect for that role. Do what works for your family. You know as long as the kids are taken care of it doesn’t matter who works or stays home or whatever. Every family has different needs and doing what works
You’re doing what you need to. When you are confident and less stressed, it makes you a better mom. Dont worry about the naysayers. Keep plugging along.
You are NOT a bad mom for working!! You are providing for your children!! I work 46 hours in 4 days, so I can stay home with my daughter 3 days straight. I do what I need to, even though it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done leaving her, I know that it’s so I can provide for her. Don’t listen to others tell them to take a long walk off a short pier! Are they paying your bills? Or buying your children things? I doubt it! You are an AMAZING mother. Do what you need to!
You’re having two days without your babies. That is perfectly ok! You spend those other 5 days with them I’m sure. Think of it as your “me time”. You’re making money to give them anything they could possibly ask for. That’s one kick ass momma to me!
I was a SAHM for 7 years. I was so greatful for being able to raise my kids. When my third was 1 I decided to work. I was going crazy without a break (and I was told that women shouldn’t work- but that’s a story for another time). I felt that going to work allotted me a much needed break without feeling as guilty as I would have if I just took a weekend away. I only work part-time. Financially I didn’t need to work- so every cent I make goes into a vacation account and I took my family to Disneyland. Sometimes I feel bad that I’m not home with the youngest- like I was with the other two. But I’m also very greatful we get to do things we couldn’t do before I was working. There is no right answer. When I stayed at home I felt that I should be providing an income, and when I’m working I miss those kids!
You do what’s right for you and yours. Screw anyone that tries to tell you different.
The fact that you feeling guilty and youre concerned makes you a great mom.
I would do absolutely anything to have a job. You don’t realise how lucky you are. I have 30 cents in the bank and single mum of two girls and my full time job at the moment is searching for jobs
If it makes you feel sny better I work 2 jobs and I work 7 days a week
That’s crazy
Keep your job since its part time
. ITS Great to have one and kids taken care of
Honey, you are not a bad momma. You do what you have to do. Don’t listen to people who try to bring you down. A true friend will always encourage you. Sounds like a great job and wonderful hours. God bless you and your young family.
I’m a stay at home mom and I would never judge a working mom! But to be honest, it sounds like you’re situation is pretty good… you’re gone a couple days a week and then some on weekends. And a job you enjoy. Some working moms are away a lot longer. You should feel grateful for the opportunity you have!
You are being a good mom by doing what you want and need to do help support your family. I have worked and I have stayed home, both can be great and hard at the same time. Your kids will be ok and love you either way
I have 2 kids and work full time. I wouldn’t change a thing. They can Call me a bad mum all they want. It works for us
I feel you hun, and you shouldn’t be. I’m a stay home mom myself with my 2 year old daughter on the weekdays while dad works. On the weekends though I work for a few hours to get a little me time. It’s not wrong at all in any way shape or form taking just a little time away from your kids. It does not make you a bad mother what so ever. As long as there provided for and have your love, a few hours for yourself is good for you. A full time stay home mom can be rather demanding when its 24/7 none stop so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. 
Uh no keep your hustle on girl you’re doing great! Making money over a little amount of time and you feel great. If everything is great under your roof and in your daily lives then don’t bother listening to what anyone has to say negative. That’s bullshit and they’re bullshit to for thinking you’re a bad mom for providing for your children.
We are mothers but that dosent mean thats all we can be. You are setting a good example for them as well. Dont get overwelmed by the mommy guilt. Theres nothing wrong with you working or having a life other than being a fulltime mom. Good luck!
No hunny you’re not a bad mom you love n provide for them n give them attention n care daily that’s way more than some people do ;”)
Don’t listen to anyone. You’re actually providing for your kids like you’re supposed to. Idk why people think that’s such a bad thing